Author's Note: An old fic I decided to fix up a bit. Please review!
Hell on Earth
By: ChoCedric
BANG!
The door to Sirius Black's cell slams, and the sound is so final that it chills him to the bone. He can't believe that it came to this, that now he's stuck in hell for the rest of his life. James and Lily are gone, and it's all his fault that they died.
He sits with his head in his hands, asking himself little questions. Where do I go from here? he thinks bitterly. He knows in his heart that the answer is nowhere, that now he's going to go mad, reliving his worst memories. A dementor walks by his cell, and the freezing cold rips into Sirius like the force of a sledgehammer. Screams begin to fill his head, the screams of his mother telling him he's an abominable waste of flesh and that he should have died in her womb. He hears the jeering laughter of his little brother Regulus as he tattles that Sirius was talking to a Muggle in the park near their house. He hears Remus yelling at him after the werewolf prank, and he hears James calling him a thoughtless, selfish idiot for using one of his best friends as a revenge tool.
He begins to laugh hysterically, just like he did on the street after little Peter got the better of him. Harmless little Peter! Little Peter, who severed his own finger and crawled into the sewer like the moronic little rat he is. Little Peter, who framed him for killing James, Lily, and twelve innocent Muggles. Who'd have thought it? Inept little Peter Pettigrew pulled the biggest prank of them all.
His first night in Azkaban Prison is spent shivering and shaking on his tiny cot, listening to the screams of the other inmates. He is in the maximum security part of the prison, so there are more dementors here than anywhere else in the place. Every minute becomes a struggle, a fight to remain sane.
The days and nights go by, blurring into one another. Sometimes, he succumbs to bitter, bitter tears. Usually, Sirius laughs mirthlessly when he's upset about something, but now his laughter has finally turned to sobs. He's not holding back the tears anymore, for everything reminds him of James and Lily and all the times he used to depend on them. Each day becomes a war between the present and the past, trying to fight back the memories as they swirl around him.
The one memory which always breaks his heart is his last goodbye to James and Lily. He remembers hugging James fiercely and whispering in his ear not to worry, that he'd keep him and his family safe, that soon this would all be over, the little family could come out of hiding, and they could be happy Marauders once again. He will remember that sad goodbye every day and night, for he hears it clearly whenever the dementors pass. He's trying to escape the heartache, trying to escape emotion, but it's pressing down upon him nevertheless.
A few days into his stay, he hears a woman shrieking that the Dark Lord will return, that he will rise again and come to save her. It is his vile, rotten cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange, who is screaming. "Shut the hell up, Bellatrix!" Sirius roars.
"Ah, little cousin," Bellatrix taunts from the cell across from him. "Knew you'd end up just like us in the end. Sirius Black in Azkaban, where he belongs!" She laughs a high, cold, terrible laugh, causing the hairs on the back of Sirius's neck to stand on end.
The only thing that keeps Sirius sane through his stint in Azkaban is the fact that he can turn into Padfoot, and that he's innocent. He's so lonely and desolate on this awful island, and over and over again he hears inmates shrieking in pain and agony. They're always talking about how they think Peter Pettigrew double-crossed the Dark Lord, and Sirius feels rage boil up inside him whenever he hears that name. He tries to clamp down on the anger by thinking about Harry, sweet little Harry, who Sirius used to make soft woofing noises at when he turned into an Animagus. He wants desperately to be with Harry again, to feel the sun upon his face, to not always be bitter, bitter cold and terribly, agonizingly lonely.
But he knew as soon as the guard pushed him roughly inside his cell, and as soon as that door slammed with the finality of his punishment, that saying he was innocent was a gamble he couldn't win. Every time the Minister visits the prison to inspect it, he tries to explain what happened, but he does not listen. So the constant fight to get through each day and night continues. What's the point in love if you have to give it up? Sirius thinks to himself. He loved James, Lily, Harry, Remus, and even Peter so much, but now that's all gone away and he's left with this chill emptiness.
It is not until twelve years later that he finally gets the motivation and the drive to do something about Peter Pettigrew. Right there, on the front of the Daily Prophet, is the stinking, evil, betraying little rat, on a Weasley boy's shoulder. The Weasley boy just happens to be in the same Hogwarts year as Harry Potter, and Sirius knows he can't let his precious godson die. So when the door opens and a dementor brings food into his cell, he turns into Padfoot and squeezes himself out, totally confusing the foul creature.
Freedom at last! He doesn't know how he did it, but he managed to get to the sea, and before he knows it, he has swum away from the horrible island of Azkaban. He knows that his eyes are haunted, his face is hollow and gaunt, and things will never be the same again. But he also knows that Remus and Harry have to learn the truth, and he finally has to give that pathetic little rat what he deserves.
So Sirius Black's journey of a lifetime begins, and he remembers the love of Lily and James as he goes on his way, their voices and faces lodged deep within his shattered heart.