Day 1:
Ice shot out of my fingertips, uncontrolled. The mirror above my dresser shattered. My reflection turned to fragments then disappeared as the shards of glass fell.
Tears streamed down my face, and I raised my hands to my cheeks. Tiny ice crystals followed their path, one trail below each eye. The cold didn't bother me, but the physical sensation of having frozen ice on my cheeks still wasn't pleasant. Prickly, almost as if something had dried there. Which it had, in a way.
Concentrating on the physical sensation was a good way to distract myself from the fact that my whole world was crumbling. In the years since I'd been for all intents and purposes exiled to my room, told to get my powers under control, the powers had just gotten more erratic and wild. Entirely unhelpful, being on my own was. I just got upset hearing Anna prance outside my room with her god-awful singing about snowmen. Didn't she know I'd join her if I could?
I wasn't allowed to, though. My father tells me, every time I ask him about my powers, that I must conceal them, conceal my emotions, become entirely stable on my own. Until then I'm a danger to everyone. And I believe him. Enough anyway. I'm not going to do anything dangerous, but with my powers growing each passing day, the list of permitted activities shrinks.
In truth, no one has actually forbidden me from doing anything. I'm quite self-governing. They're all scared of me. As well they should be, with what I can do. And that is why the tears and anger come. The world is gloriously unfair and grows worse with each passing day.
Day 2:
I woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs placed on a tray on my bedside table. Not the smell of them being placed there, but the smell of bacon and the smell of eggs, because they were on my bedside table and not in the dining room or kitchen like they usually are. Someone must have noticed my miniature tantrum last night and decided I was too volatile to come down for breakfast. I could still go anyway, but their fear of me, indicated by the tray in my room, dissuaded any thought I might have had of doing that. Though they are all much too afraid to order me around they still left small hints and signs like that and end up dictating my behavior anyway.
After devouring my breakfast, (sprouting ice from your fingers uses lots of energy) I walked over to my dresser. The mirror that had shattered last night had been replaced and the shards of glass cleaned up. It was like nothing had ever happened. Except for the breakfast in bed. I don't know why they bothered cleaning up after me. Something else would just break soon enough, get covered in ice, have to be defrosted etc.
The mirror showed a girl. Me. Elsa, Princess of Arendelle. Blonde, almost white hair, blue eyes. Eleven years old. I sound like I'd look pretty normal, but there's something off-putting about my visual appearance. My hair and skin are almost the same color and that along with my almost overly large eyes disturbs some people. Whatever. I have enough problems to deal with without caring about that.
Brushing some stray strands of hair out of my face, I pulled open the proper drawers and dressed. Tutoring sessions began at nine o'clock. While I'd been isolated ever since my accident, I still learned and was taught. My parents didn't want me to be isolated and ignorant when I emerged to take a role in society. They just wanted me emotionless. Frozen.
I sighed. Nothing to be done about that. Satisfying them was the only way to justify freedom to myself. I didn't want to pose a risk to everyone I came in contact with.
If I only had someone to teach me to control my powers. My life would be about a million times better than it was. I just needed someone who knew what they were doing with this ice magic. What I could and couldn't do. The mystery of it all made me nervous to experiment. Experimenting might help with control, but I couldn't risk destroying the castle or anything. The magic was too unpredictable. My parents were helpless in this area. They were worse, actually, since showing their fear just made me more hesitant and volatile. I needed a magic teacher.
Instead I was going to get a math tutor. That was the first lesson, at nine. I pulled out my homework and placed it on my desk in preparation. The clock above me ticked back and forth repetitively, time dragging on like a turtle on a leisurely stroll. I glanced out the window but quickly averted my eyes from the trees covered in leaves, the green grass looking oh so inviting. I wasn't forbidden from going outside, but again, I was much more likely to be discovered by the citizens if I went outside. So no outside for me.
My eyes roved back to the clock and the papers on the desk, then to the door. Boredom set in. Not that I wasn't bored before, but I still had fifteen minutes in which to do nothing before my teacher came.
I heard a sharp knock to my right. A tap on glass. Confused, I looked to the window. An owl knocking its beak on the glass. Weren't owls nocturnal?
The bird's silhouette blocked the view of the garden below. Gray and black feathers overlapped in a large, oval shaped blob. The owl appeared overweight, but then again, what did I know about owls?
What should I do about this? I sat frozen in my chair, not willing to leave my room to get someone. The knocking continued, an insistent look in the owl's eyes.
After maybe a minute of this I stood up and walked over to the window. The bird stopped its tapping and held out its talon. Frightfully sharp, they were. I flinched back, before finally realizing it had a letter attached to its foot. A messenger owl. What the hell? I'd heard of messenger pigeons and hunting hawks, but who would go through the work of teaching an owl to deliver mail?
Though the owl still frightened me I pulled my rarely used courage together and opened the window a crack. The claw shot through and I jumped, then saw that it was simply sticking the attached letter where I could reach it. I took the letter from the owl. Once it retracted its foot I slammed the window shut, not wanting to risk the vicious looking bird somehow getting into my room.
I returned to my desk and unrolled the letter. A seal at the top was divided into four quadrants, an animal and associated color in each. A Latin motto surrounded the seal. I couldn't translate anything besides "draco", which meant dragon.
Aid if you're wondering why I examined the top of the letter so carefully before looking down farther, it's because I wanted to savor it as long as I could. Not because I suspected just how wonderful it would turn out to be, but more because it represented a change in the dull routine. I had lessons, meals, read some, potentially broke down sobbing, went to bed and repeated. This letter was a break in the monotony.
After taking in the seal my eyes roamed down to the actual contents of the letter. The letterhead said Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, followed by Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, assorted titles and an incredibly vague location.
My breath caught at "Witchcraft". In our world, witches weren't good. At least, they weren't perceived that way in general. It's not like I'd ever met one to personally verify. But "school". At first glance, they taught magic. This could be the answer to my prayers.
I rapidly read the rest of the letter. Apparently, my name had been down since that incident with the frozen brain of Anna's where the trolls saved her. The rock trolls had some kind of contact with Hogwarts and submitted my name for consideration. I'd been accepted. The taught wanded and elemental magic, though from what I gathered the wanded type was more common. The school was located in some place called Scotland, which the trolls would help me get to. I'd buy my school supplies, spend a night in an inn, and take a 'train', whatever that was, to school the next day.
It all seemed overwhelming. Details, names, places and various lists almost completely filled the page and scattered into my brain. Or more likely through it; I only absorbed a small fraction of what the letter contained with my first read.
School though. Actually teaching me how to control my magic. I'd be away from my family but that was irrelevant given how little I currently saw them. Excitement bubbled up; my veins felt like they were on fire. Or more like they were tingly with cold. Ice princess here.
I took one more glance at the letter. It didn't describe a method to RSVP so I assumed that contacting the trolls would be enough to put me on a path to attendance. Which meant I'd have to talk to my parents.
I deflated, but only partially. The undercurrent of anticipation was still present. I just needed to convince my parents to send me to a place that would help me not be a violent monster. Should be easy, right?
I could barely keep still through the morning tutoring sessions. As the last tutor left I jumped up from my seat and ran over to my dresser. I stripped fast, hurriedly changing to clothes more fitting for a royal luncheon.
A few quick strokes of a brush through my hair sufficed to calm the tangled mess down marginally. I then proceeded to slip on socks and shoes and run to my door, throwing it open. Then I spun back around, realizing I'd forgotten the letter from Hogwarts. That would be important.
The private dining room was set for four; an intimate meal. Like always since we never had any guests. The gates of the castle were shut. Presumably so I didn't maim guests with icicles. Made sense, in a fashion.
My mother and father both looked up when I entered, while Anna kept focused on her plate, her face shrouded by her adorable brown ringlets.
A look of fright crossed my mother's face before being quickly suppressed.
"Oh, Elsa!" She exclaimed, standing up. "We're so glad you felt well enough to come down."
"Your place is set. Please sit." My father's gruff voice echoed through the hall, empty except for the small table and us four.
I sat. While I was glaring back at my father Anna looked up at me for a split second. I caught her out of the corner of my eye and turned towards her but she looked back down immediately, grumbling.
My mother rolled her eyes at Anna's antics and gave me a sympathetic glance. My father, on the other hand, furrowed his brows at me.
"Please don't harass your sister, Elsa," he said firmly. "She's had a tough enough time not being able to play with other kids. She doesn't need you taunting her and looking at her funny."
I hoped that at some point my father would realize just how ridiculous he sounded. He'd always liked Anna better but after the accident I couldn't so much as wish her good morning without him jumping in protectively. I hated my father.
The food came, breaking the awkward silence that developed following my father's admonishment of me. I looked down at my plate. Mashed potatoes, boiled fish, and fried crispy fish. In Arendelle, surrounded by the sea, fish was paramount. Vegetable, grain, meat, fat, fruit. It was everything. Or at least the cook thought that way. Every meal had at least two types of fish in it.
I ate quietly, finishing first. When my father appeared to be devouring a particularly tasty morsel of herring I spoke up.
"Dad?"
"Mhmm?"
He couldn't be bothered with a vocal response but at least he focused his eyes on me. Those beady little orbs. I hated my father.
"I received a letter today," I said, as calmly as I could. "It says it's from a school, and they want me to go there."
He frowned, his bushy eyebrows coming together. "And why would they want an eleven year old princess with no skills of note to go there? Moreover, what can they teach you you can't learn here?"
I panicked for a second. How could I explain this?
"They're pretty reclusive people, so you may not have heard of them. From the letter it seems like they take in children of nobles who aren't going to normal school. Give them some real world experience. And, they teach meditation. Emotional control."
I raised my eyebrow significantly. He tried to hide it but I could see his enthusiasm growing at that last part. He still wanted me to be queen, and to do that I'd have to get my powers under control.
He still had one more argument left, this one more formality than anything.
"But this place will be expensive, won't it?"
Everything I'd said up until now had been the truth, in a way. If you used nobles to mean magical people. To answer this I'd have to lie through my teeth.
I smiled up at my dad, feeling Anna's eyes on me. "No, the school is free. Someone died and gave a bunch of money so there's no need to pay."
I sat patiently as he whispered to my mother. Her opinion didn't matter in the decision making. That's why I hadn't asked her, even though she'd be much more likely to say yes off the bat, given that she actually liked me.
Finally he turned back towards me.
"You can go to school," he announced.
I heard a sharp intake of breath from Anna. It's not like she acknowledged me these days though, so I didn't see why she should care.
Inside I was bursting with glee but I had to maintain a calm façade for the rest of lunch. That's one of the hardest things I've ever done.
When it was finally over I rushed back to my room and screamed at the top if my lungs. Freedom! And an opportunity to control my powers! What more could one want?
Day 3
If you saw how quickly my family and the servants prepared for my departure, you'd think they actually wanted me to leave. Which wouldn't be too far off the mark.
My stuff was packed early in the morning. Much before my normal time to wake up a servant shook me hard.
"Get up!" he hissed. "It's time for you to go."
I groggily pushed the covers down and swung my feet onto the cold wood floor. Thankfully my slippers were only a few feet away. Not that the cold bothered me, but the floor was still hard and slippers were like walking on a portable rug.
Soon I stood in the entrance hall. My parents waited by the carriage which was prepared to take me away.
My mother stepped forward to give me a hug.
"I love you Elsa. I'll miss you. I hope you enjoy yourself so much." She brushed a tear from her eye. "I don't have much advice to give you, but I hope you'll behave and learn a lot. This seems like it could be an amazing opportunity. Just take advantage of it."
I nodded and retracted from her hug. I didn't trust that I'd be able to talk without becoming emotional.
My dad was next. He pursed his lips, then shook my hand. I smirked up at him. How absurd. I was mostly over his rejection of me. Mostly. I might have a miserable carriage ride thinking about him, but the sad fury wouldn't last.
My mother wrapped an arm around my father and pulled him to the side, resting her head on his shoulder.
Anna appeared from behind them. I flinched in surprise. She should be asleep. Not to mention sullen over my inability to interact with her. She sniffled as she approached me.
"I'll miss you so much!" she sobbed into my shoulder.
I patted her on the back, burying my face in her soft brown hair which smelled freshly of flowers. I did love her, though she'd been a bit peeved at me for the past months and years.
"I'll miss you too, Anna. Be good now."
"Uh-uh," she agreed, voice muffled in my shirt.
"And when I get back we can build a snowman, okay?"
She pulled back, looking into my eyes. "You really mean it?"
"Of course," I said solemnly.
She fled back to my mom's arms then, but with a smile on her face.
Well. The carriage awaited. I slowly stepped forward. Leaving wasn't something to be rushed. There was no reason to hurry, except for the sobs threatening to escape their confinement inside of me.
The two horses neighed as I approached the assembly. A friendly greeting. Eventually I reached the door of the carriage. I could feel the chill of the metal handle through my gloves. My touch didn't warm it up at all. I opened the door and turned around, standing on the runner-board. One last wave to my family.
"I love you guys," I called out, then quickly fled inside and buried my head in the pillows. I didn't want to think about them anymore. Anna and my mom. And my dad. It was just too much.
I suppressed the emotions for long enough to tell the driver to get going,
Once the horses started up the tears started flowing. I was angry at myself for allowing them to come out. I should be excited, not unhappy. And I was very excited, but this was the only home I'd ever known and I wouldn't see my sister or mother until Christmas. I'd miss their hugs, their scorn, simply the interactions with them. I wouldn't miss my dad.
And that was the thought that broke me out of my sadness. He'd be incredibly conflicted between wanting me to succeed and be able to become queen and his constant desire for me to do worse than Anna and to fail at everything.
The conundrum in desires he faced brought a gleeful smile to my lips. It remained there as my thoughts settled into a more relaxed pattern, anticipating what was to come.