Disclaimer: I wish I wish I owned Danny Phantom! Desiree: -turns me into Butch Hartman- AHHHHHHHHH! CHANGE ME BACK CHANGE ME BACK! -is changed back-
Summary: On her way to an adoptive home, Dani ponders why her old home with Vlad didn't feel like home.
Rating: T
Inspiration: This is a very (in my view) crappy story that I wrote in a pathetic attempt to let out some of my feelings of depression. I've been suffering with depression for almost four years now, and it's been going up stronger than ever. I feel the need to commit suicide daily, but I'm debating on whether I really do want to act on those feelings or check into a hospital. I'm currently living in a nice home. I have a home, a family and people to care for me and my needs, but I don't feel any love. Of course, my mom screams at me until I'm on the brinke of crying that she loves me so much, that she did and gave up so much for me and all that, but can you honestly believe somebody saying that when they scream that at you?
Pairings: Mentions of a VladxDani father/daughter relationship
Warnings: Really crappy. Also, if you actually cared enough to read the Inspiration part, do not give me a freaking lecture or a pity compliment. I was stating my inspiration, but if you want to know the whole story, I don't mind telling you.
Other Notes: I know there are several definitions of the words, but I picked the one/ones that applies to this story.
What is home?
Dani wondered about this question for a long time as she leaned her head against the window. It was raining outside. Well, sort of. The combination of the freezing cold and the wet weather was almost enough to make snow, but it instead was more of a cold, slurpie-like rain.
She slowly closed her eyes as the side of her head made contact with the ice-cold window. The heat from the circular vent on the top of the car blew gusts of warm air at her cheek and neck, but it wasn't warm enough to make much of a difference. Her ear against the window, she heard everything. Every drop of slushie-rain that hit the window, the car's engine, the air hitting her and the soft music coming from the car's radio. This car was a much smoother ride than the last car she rode in. The last one allowed her to feel every bump, every rock in the road. This one let her rest in peace.
Just a few hours ago, she was sitting in the Child Protective Services' office. The office of a worker named Ms. Juliet Celensi. Very nice and pretty lady. She let Dani roam around the building as long as she didn't leave, let her openly snack on popcorn and candy in her office. Even though she despised the woman for catching her out on the streets, homeless, she secretly wished that she was allowed to stay there forever rather than go home with a strange family she knew little about. Even though the office was very boring.
Dani knew the definition of home. She honestly memorized it. The definition of home was: a house, apartment or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family or household. Dani knew that. She looked up the definition many times, having only a dictionary and a bunch of boring law books to read in the Child Protective Services office. She used to have a home by the dictionary's definition. She had a other shelter, in this case a mansion and sometimes a beautiful log cabin house, when she was with Vlad. If she had a home by dictionary standards, then why didn't it feel like home? Was it the lack of a motherly figure? The absence of a pet or siblings? The burning knowledge that she wasn't, and would never be, her own real person since she is a clone?
Then she had looked up family. Family: a social unit consisting of one or more adults living together with the children they care for; any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts and cousins.
Vlad took care of her. Sure, he used her, but he took care of her. He fed her, gave her a place to sleep, clothing to wear. Dani had never been bored. How could she when Vlad allowed her to watch TV, use the computer, play video games and read comic books while he planned his evil schemes? He used her; he never neglected her. Did that mean he really did care? If so, then why did his mansion not feel like home?
So she looked up care. Care: to have an inclination, liking, fondness or affection. Since Vlad seemed to care, did he actually like her? View her as a family, as somebody to like? Maybe even love? He never told her that he loved her, but TV told Dani that just because he never expressed it verbally didn't mean he didn't love her. What exactly was love anyway? She wasn't sure, so she looked it up.
Love: a feeling of warm, personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or a friend.
Did Vlad just care for her because he felt, since she was basically his child, that he had to? Did he care for her out of love? Or was she honestly nothing but another pawn in his game of chess so he cared for her to keep her thinking that she was the Queen? Did he at one point love her until she let him down by releasing Danny? If he truly loved her, she knew, he would have worked hard to keep her as Danny does to keep his friends and family around.
Dani never wanted to admit it, but she knew that based on definitions, Vlad didn't love her. He gave her a home. He was family. He cared for her. But he didn't love her. Was it even possible? To have a home, a family and somebody to care for you, but not love you in any way? Dani decided that this was true. She didn't care who opposed her thought. This was true.
Knock Knock Knock!
Dani's eyes snapped open and the memories of her definition hunt vanished for the time being to look into the face of the woman who adopted her. Glancing behind the woman as she slowly opened the door, she noticed that they have arrived at a house. Her new home.
She also noticed that it wasn't raining anymore. Some slushy snow was hanging around the yard in random piles, reminding her of autumn leaves. The house was beautiful, being three stories and painted white. A black iron fence surrounded their property. Inside the fence, a female toddler and a six year old boy were playing with a man. Her new family.
She allowed the woman to take her hand and lead her inside. The man looked up in slight surprise as the boy abandoned the toy truck he was playing with to dash towards his mother. The man picked up the little girl and walked over, commenting about he didn't expect them to be home for another hour as he gave her a quick kiss. Dani silently watched her new parents kiss briefly. These people were going to care for her.
Her thoughts were snapped away as the little boy latched onto her, blabbing on about how cool his favorite superhero Danny Phantom was, his toy truck, his best friend Steven, how last week he almost got cooties from the girl that sat across the row from him in class and how he couldn't stand oranges but bananas were okay. She smiled slightly at him as he let go before asking his mom if they could make cupcakes later. She had replied maybe later as she took the toddler from her husband, who made his way to the car to grab Dani's things.
The boy and mother, while carrying the toddler, began to walk inside the house. The man had grabbed her single suitcase before following them. Dani didn't follow them, but instead looked around the neighborhood. There were a bunch of houses, some with kids playing in the snow slush while the parents did yard work. Two teen girls were giggling at a conversation as they walked down the sidewalk and a teen boy was shoveling the slush from his driveway.
"Danielle, are you coming?" the woman asked her as she bounced the toddler slightly. Dani just nodded before stepping over a small puddle of snow slush into the house.
Maybe unlike the last home, this one will love her.
