BE SURE TO READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE DOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS CHAPTER!

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Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey

And there's no remedy for memory, your face is like a melody,
It won't leave my head; your soul is haunting me
And telling me that everything is fine; but I wish I was dead—dead like you.

Every time I close my eyes it's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you. I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side.

There's no relief; I see you in my sleep.
And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me
There's no release; I feel you in my dreams telling me I'm fine.

Every time I close my eyes it's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you. I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side.

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Chapter 1

Jane's brows pulled down toward her nose. She was lost. Really lost.

Fumbling with the state-of-the-art GPS handheld, she realized the flaw in such a state-of-the-art technology: there was no such thing.

Stopping, Jane cursed as she slapped the small device once more before throwing across the snowy basin. Withdrawing her map, Jane found her relative position and studied the article based on latitudinal and longitudinal coordinates. She was at least three miles away.

"Absolutely ridiculous."

Sighing, Jean cupped her hand to act as a visor over her eyes, scanning her surroundings. According to the map, she needed to meander through a small forest and over one smaller mountain before reaching her destination.

Alaska, so far, wasn't such a great idea, she reflected.

Her purpose was to find any connection between the aurora borealis and wormholes. Based off the events in New York and the people who literally kept her prisoner, Jane concluded that she could no longer be in the so-called civilized world. Continuing her research in Alaska aided that tremendously.

One month! One month! She'd been held on an Island off the coast of Norway—the most bitter place on this earth. Jane Foster—astrophysicist for all intents and purposes—was prone to enjoying heat. Jane hated the cold, yet she couldn't quite escape such climates.

The scientist hadn't ever appreciated being whisked away without her consent! But that is exactly what Nick Fury had ordered. At least in confinement, she'd picked up invaluable information.

SHIELD planned on using the Tesseract for nuclear arms to defend humans from future attacks. SHIELD thought that such a weapon would successfully deter attacks from the other realms, but Jane knew that it would only draw unwanted attention to Earth. For example: Loki's invasion.

So, here Jane was, lost among a white, fluffy hell.

Well, she had nowhere else to go.

But that didn't mean that she had to be happy about being there.

She knew that New Mexico would be the first place they would look for her: followed by New York and London. They were aware of her brief encounter (for that is all she could label it for now) with Thor, so she couldn't go look for him, despite wanting nothing more.

Jane briefly sat down, taking a sip of water when she really could have used a strong drink to burn her throat and worries away.

Later.

Nick Fury himself had seized her in the middle of the desert upon Loki entering this world. He instructed a regime to take her to a facility burrowed in the middle of nowhere near civilization.

She was contained in a small, square room with an exposed toilet, a small bed, and one bookshelf filled with just three novels: the Bible, Shakespeare's Hamlet, and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

Most days she wasn't allowed to do anything or go anywhere. Some days, she would visit the exciting space called the cafeteria when she wasn't brought food.

Cringing, she resorted to humming in order to stop thinking about her time in containment.

Jane folded the map back up and gently placed it back in her satchel, grabbing her collar to pull her hood over her head. She exhaled roughly and started toward the woods.

Daylight wasn't threatening to settle in the west for at least another few hours, so she decided to take her pace slow, casually glancing around to see if she was stepping into dangerous territory.

Upon entering the forest, the treetops censored the sunlight out, giving the air a bitterness unknown to even this time of year. Shivering, she continued, stepping cautiously to avoid any holes in the deep snow.

A violent gust of wind carried through as Jane stood against a nearby tree. Her skin tightened, and she felt her heart freeze.

Her lungs ceased its basic functions. Jane began to panic.

Jane closed her eyes while drawing in a deep, calming breath—knives against the organs the air touched. "Get over this, Jane," she chided herself.

A nearby branch fell, stifling the eerie silence. Jane's pulse charged.

Rushing out from the tree trunk's support, Jane rounded the corner and her and erased further thought.

Gasping, Jane fought the urge to run even though the marrow in her bones struggled against her motionless form.

Growling, a pure black wolf—defiant against the raging wind—readied itself for attack before her. Its coat resembled noble obsidian marble rather than a dingy coal texture. The animal's eyes glistened a soft, lonesome mixture of shades ranging from bright mint to faint periwinkle. Despite the wondrous, terrifying, and majestic predator readying itself in front of her, she was able to notice a slight limp in its right hind leg.

Jane's gaze seemed to snatch away the creature's resolve of attacking. Simultaneously, Jane and the ebony wolf fought for control of the other's regard.

Taking a bold step toward the animal, Jane brought up a finger and fixed it over the scrutinizing, growling wolf.

"Do me a favor," she began, the uneasy waver drifting away with the passing current. Exhaling, Jane lifted her finger up once and lowered it authoritatively, "and forget momentarily that you're a carnivore."

When the wolf noticeably would not warrant her anything aside from an earth-shattering howl, Jane maintained her position, taking a step forward as her chin rose slightly, "For what it's worth, I'm probably poisoned by all of the vaccinations I was given back at the SHIELD confinement."

Never once breaking their heated stare, she humbly accepted the wheels turning in her head. "Yeah," she continued, her other hand traveling the length of her arm, moving fluidly from her shoulder to her wrist, "I'm not even in shape! No meat to my bones and hardly any fat. I won't even taste as satisfying as your instincts tell you."

Seeing the anger fade slightly from the multi-dimensional hues of the hunter-wolf, Jane took another step toward the animal. "This is all such a mess. I just want to continue my work alone in the middle of nowhere."

She needed to find a way for herself to understand how Thor didn't fight for a way to see her, too . . . among other reason.

Noticing a shift from vengeance to intrigue dwindle about the wolf's intent stare, Jane lowered to kneel on one knee as she was only five feet away from the elegant beast. Jane lowered her pointed finger so that both hands remained by her sides.

"I realize that this is probably your hunting territory. But with all of the things I have seen—and all of the things I have not—I'm begging you to just spare me," she said, attempting to reason with a being that couldn't understand her.

Hesitantly, the black beast strutted toward her and halted at precisely an arm's reach away. For a moment, Jane could only admire the cosmic detail the creature proffered her notice. Deducing the creature was waiting rather than sizing up his meal, she cautiously extended her gloved hand toward him, but the wolf did not move.

Raising her left brow, her features molded a perplexed expression.

Suddenly, the wolf moved toward her steady hand, its teeth peeling the glove from her hand, the frost nipping at her fingertips instantly. The wolf let go of the glove, the article carelessly fading with the white wind in the distance.

Jane's eyes never left the beast's as he leaned into her touch, palm to snout, briefly before moving away from her and walking toward the direction she needed to head.

Despite her fingers shivering chaotically, Jane knelt dazedly in her spot, looking at the retreating form of the obsidian beast.

"So much for father's gloves," was all she muttered before walking hastily behind the curious animal toward the direction she hoped the cabin would be.

A piece of her curious nature wondered if the beast had understood her. And, if so, how?

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The black wolf hadn't come within ten feet of her vicinity since the almost-attack back in the woods. Presently, he lay by the glowing remnants of the fire Jane started hours before.

Well into the evening, Jane plucked up both of the plates—one on the floor and hers from the heavy table—used for their meal she'd prepared for the both of them and moved to the sink, running the sponge over the smooth surfaces twice.

Sighing, she placed her palms on the edge of the sink and lifted her head up to view the white ceiling. Her eyes had been heavy the whole night, but there was no explanation.

She was just melancholy.

The den had many interesting novels, including a few of Jane Austen's classics. There were a few others, too, but not much else that looked appealing. Earlier in the main bedroom, she'd located a book of the Norse gods and mythology.

The scientist ruled our studying the other novels upon this discovery. Norse mythology indeed had some relevance to her purpose here.

A deep, hollow void festered against her belly, and she walked back to the large sofa in the living area, snuggling into the soft fleece throw.

Her hot chocolate had long since cooled, the frosty conditions eroding the heat away like the ocean water against basalt rock. Reaching for the leather-bound book, Jane avidly searched through the index to find Thor.

Displayed upon the left page, an inscription appeared below a large drawing of the god of thunder. Before skimming over the words, her fingers naturally traced the outline of the photo, admiring the familiarity it brought to her.

Below the photo, she read, An ideal depiction of what all human warriors strived to compare to, Thor, god of thunder, was a valiant warrior known for his courage, loyalty, and honor. He was a primary defender of Asgard and other Aesir gods. Since the Bronze Age, he served the people of Midgard as the foremost deity of warriors and military strength.

No mention of holding promises, she snidely added. Rolling her eyes, she swiped at the few shed tears and sighed. She shivered slightly and placed the book on her lap.

He didn't come for me upon Loki's short reign of terror across New York, she reminded herself. Never once had he called or wrote while her when he was conspiring with SHIELD. Surely, he could have found five minutes? She'd spent so many months searching for him and a way to get him back to her after he vanished from her side as quick as he joined it.

Never once had she given up—until after New York. Even now, she hadn't received word of his seeking her out.

So many opportunities to continue her work were forfeited in order to find a way back to him. Perhaps she could have been the one to be working closely with the Tesseract, instead of her mentor, Erik Selvig.

Usually, she upheld understanding toward others. No one single person was capable of devoting all of their time to another person. They had lives, too.

But Thor had severely hurt her in his lie.

Maybe he thought to seek her out when everything went back to normal. Maybe he really thought Loki would seek her out and kill her for his connection to her.

Or maybe he no longer cared.

The thought sunk into her soul and allowed bitterness to seep through. She had truly cared about him. In only their three days together, Jane had felt partially complete around him.

Thor had given her validation to her life's research. He'd given her feelings she never thought possible for someone as awkward as herself. He gave her hope during a dark peak in her life where none could be found.

He'd made her feel alive, made her truly believe in his promise, because he'd defeated the Destroyer in order to save a town he had no connection or responsibility to.

He was kind, gentle, honest (for the most part), and allowed her to believe in something else other than her work. She'd been inspired.

And she was never inspired by anything new or not related to science. Jane was not a romantic whatsoever. She thrived on facts and figures.

They'd only have a dash of chemistry. Nothing else. The scientist risked everything in order for him to regain his godlike powers and strength. He would not be able to save New York had they never met. He told her that she was the reason he fought now. He wanted to keep her safe.

Perhaps if they hadn't ever met, Loki would never have somehow defaced New York in the first place.

Biting her lip, she shook her head. She and relationships were hopeless.

She had no soul mate in any of the nine realms Thor had mentioned. After all, not even the god of thunder thought her to be important enough.

"Sometimes I wish he never had to go back . . . that Loki never sent the Destroyer and simply left us alone. Maybe then we could have had a small chance," she idly mused aloud, selfish in the thoughts of what could have been.

Her efforts were fruitless. She could start from scratch on her old research. She could try to steal it back. Hell, she could stay here for the rest of time and never research anything ever again.

It wouldn't be too hard to retrieve her life's work. The only problem was that she didn't know where to find it. It could be anywhere. But was it? Jane was sure that they'd commissioned Erik to use it against her. Could he also be involved in using the Tesseract for nuclear power?

He was the only other person who would be able to decipher her codes and linguistics placed in her notes for her research's protection. After all, what did SHIELD plan on using the Tesseract for if they would not possess the power of utilizing the wormholes?

Jane sighed.

But life had to go on.

So she would learn to live without real purpose. She'd never been frivolous, but she could learn to be.

Glancing back over the book, Jane picked it up and flipped back to the index—seeking out Loki.

She found herself interested in how such a loved person could fall to such a depth of evil.

Needing to eradicate the silence, Jane gazed down at the rather comical drawing of the god of mischief. "Best known for the death of Baldur, Loki is known to be one to completely disregard the well-being of his kin and is a scheming coward who cares only for his shallow pleasures and self-preservation," she spoke softly.

"Nothing adds up where he is concerned. His brother had nothing but great things to say about him in the three days he was a mortal. He even said that he deserved the throne. There must be something that happened that kept Thor away from me for so long and that caused Loki to fall astray the path of morality," she retorted, throwing the book across the room.

She was furious.

Was Loki so bad? He once possessed the full loyalty of Thor and Odin. Yet he destroys New York. He once was a prince of Asgard, a revered and proud realm. But he still defied his loving brother.

She hadn't received the full package of details about this Loki, but something just wasn't right—like the information she had was only superficial and not substantial.

None of the information made any sense! It was like she had the answer, but were missing both values that equated to the sum.

She needed to know the whole story. She hoped one day she'd get to hear it. According to the last report she'd heard, he was somewhere on the run—severely injured, however.

That meant he couldn't have gone too far; but, she didn't know what he was capable of.

Glancing up, Jane saw the wolf sitting before her precisely five feet away, staring and observing. Leaning over, careful not to move too close, Jane remained quiet.

She returned his blank stare and took the time to admire his clear, dimensional light eyes.

"You must really be unsocial. Since you can't respond, I'm going to assume that someone did something to wrong you? Maybe your pack? I realize how mad I must be for conversing with a wild animal..." she started, her mouth forming a warm smile.

Pulling at the fleece throw over her body, she continued slowly, "If I could have just one power...well, that's technically not a fair statement, since I am somewhat of a selfish human being. I couldn't settle for just one. Rather, hypothetically, a beneficial ability to possess would be the ability to read people's mind. I think that would be interesting enough."

Jane sighed dramatically. "I just want to meet him," she said aloud as her thoughts were encrypted with flashes of the green-dressed madman.

When the black beast tilted his head ever so slightly, she wanted nothing more than to chance a stroke, but she kept her distance. "Loki. He's been a fascination of mine since a . . . friend of mine first told me about him. I mean I have seen him on t.v., but I want to physically have him before me. I have so many questions.

"Thor spoke so highly of him, though. He's this grand mystery, but unfortunately, I can't meet him. He's out destroying the world and pissing the Avengers off to have time to answer personal questions for little, ol' me," she finished.

The wolf simply continued to stare at her and took one step backward, his eyes narrowing. "Do you understand me at all?" she questioned. A part of her still didn't believe this creature was the beast he physically presented before her eyes. Something in his hues sent her to a peaceful, yet lonesome space. She'd never recalled a wolf, let any alone animal, to have such dazzling eyes.

Of course, the wolf absently sat before her. Chuckling softly, she brought both of her hands together and began to pick at one of her fingernails. Her heart felt empty. Looking up, eyes glistening in the low flickering ember-lit room, she whispered helplessly, "It would be so nice if you could at least know half of what I feel."

"Everyone says how lucky I am to have captured the attention of a god, let alone an Avenger," she continued, pausing to catch the frog at her throat, "I must be a truly selfish person, but it's not enough. I'm not enough. Honestly, I don't think I'm enough for anyone. Even my mother would agree, sadly." Humor clung to her tongue as a wry smile moved over her mouth.

Her voice hitched and became hoarse. Shuttering fingertips covered her mouth and she inhaled and exhaled languidly, catching her breath, "Why couldn't he have come for me? He could have protected me. He could have done something, anything, but instead I received only a cold distance from him."

Sliding a finger under her eyes, tears ran from her fingertips to her palm. Jane wiped her hands on her jeans. Oddly, she laughed. "I'm truly losing my mind."

Allowing herself to hopelessly laugh at her meager life, her dark eyes captured his, "You may not be able to reply, but you're a great listener. Thank you."

To be continued...

Major author's note!

THIS STORY USED TO BE CALLED "GHOST OF ME"!

So, this story has been abandoned for too long! My notes for the rest of the story were wiped off of my hard drive somehow, but I've recently had a spark of interest in this story again! I'm going to edit all of the chapters, first, because, let's face it, this story before the edits was tremendously OOC! It makes me cringe at some points at the dialogue!

Another complaint I seem to have with my own story is that there is a lack of Sif & Thor in this story. Although she does appear much later in the story, she's never properly dealt with. On the subject of dealing with things, there will be a more seamless Thor & Jane reunion. To me, everything occurred way too quickly: until now!

Everything will be fixed soon! Just continue to be patient. There will be things taken out, things added, and things restructured into the story. Thank you for your continued interest in this story!

REVIEW PLEASE?