A.N.: Well, this started out as a one-shot, but when I hit the fourteenth page and realized that I wasn't even close to finishing, I decided to break it up. Right now, I'm thinking it'll be two parts—maybe three at the most. We'll see how long-winded I get!

Oh, and I do promise that this will have a happy ending...and that I'll explain everything eventually. Just stick with me, people.

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"Her Fault"

By Venus Smurf

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"Her Fault: Part One"

It was her fault.

Her fault that he'd failed her, her fault that he'd cheated. She'd pushed him away, after all, kept too much of herself from him, and it didn't matter that she'd had a reason for it. It didn't matter that she hadn't had a choice. It was still her fault.

Not that she was going to forgive him for what he'd done, of course. She might have driven him away, lied to him more than he'd ever lied to her, but everything she'd done had been necessary. He didn't have that excuse.

He didn't have any excuse.

Mina sighed, wondering how he'd react when he realized that she'd left him. Would he be worried? Relieved?

Would he even care?

She didn't want to think about that.

She didn't want to think about anything, really. Anger had gotten her out the door and onto the plane, but anger can only last so long in the face of such betrayal. Mina had run out of hate hours ago, and even the hurt that had replaced it was gone. She was numb, and she thought that was probably best. It was easier not to feel anything, and she was tired of dwelling on the pain he caused her.

Mina sighed, her blue eyes unreadable as she stared out the window into the clouds. She'd be landing soon, and while she was grateful that she'd been able to get away before Mal had realized she was even leaving, she wasn't looking forward to telling Artemis why she'd had to go. Her foster father wouldn't understand, wouldn't, in all honesty, try to understand. He'd only lecture her, tell her it was her own fault for choosing to be with Malachite in the first place, tell her she should have seen this coming…and then offer her a shoulder to cry on anyway.

She wouldn't cry, but right now, she could use the shoulder.

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"What do you mean, she isn't there?"

Raye's irritation was clear even over the phone. "Just what I said, you bloody idiot. She's not here."

He ignored her anger. She'd been furious with him since the day they'd met, and while he still didn't understand that, he'd long since stopped expecting anything else. "Do you know where she is, then? I've already called everyone she knows, but nobody has seen her since this morning."

Raye's voice was sharper than it should have been. "No," she bit out, "but even if I did know where she was, I wouldn't tell you."

Malachite rolled his eyes. What the hell did I ever do to her, anyway? What did I ever do to any of them? He forced himself to remember that this was one of Mina's closest friends, that Raye was practically a sister to the crazy blonde who'd taken over both their lives. "If you do see Mina," he began again, trying to be patient, "will you tell her that I'm looking for her? She's not answering her cell."

The statement was met with a silence that lasted long enough to become uncomfortable. Then…

"What did you do to her, Malachite?"

The fury in her words was probably meant to be intimidating, but since every conversation with her both began and ended on a similar note, Mal wasn't really bothered by it. "I didn't do anything to her, Raye," he muttered. "Stop jumping to conclusions. I love her. Why would I hurt her?"

Raye just snorted.

Malachite pressed on, surprised that she'd let that one pass. She usually didn't. "I'm worried because she should have called me at least ten times by now," he quietly explained. "I need to know that she's safe."

She couldn't argue with that one. Mina was…an affectionate girl, and she'd always had this inexplicable need to tell Mal that she loved him at least twenty times a day. If she'd been anyone else, and if he hadn't loved her to the point of distraction himself, it would have been annoying as hell. As it was…he missed it already.

Where was she?

Raye wasn't exactly sympathetic. "Maybe she finally came to her senses and left you. The gods only know how often we've told her to find someone better."

Malachite tried to ignore her. It wasn't the first time she'd said that, either, but the thought of Mina leaving him never failed to make his stomach clench. His tiny, insanely hyper lover had completely turned his life upside down from the moment they'd met, had destroyed the peace and quiet he'd once so valued, but the thought of a life without her…

It was unthinkable.

Malachite sighed yet again, his irritation with Raye abruptly fading. "I love her, Raye," he said again, defeat heavy in his voice. "I just need to know that she's safe. If you talk to her, will you have her call me?"

Silence again, but maybe the despair in his voice had finally reached her, because she actually answered. "Yes," she told him, her own voice so quiet as to be almost inaudible. "I'll tell her."

He almost thanked her. Was glad he hadn't when she spoke again.

"I'll tell her to call you," she repeated, her voice suddenly cold enough to be cruel, "but I won't tell her to come back to you. You don't deserve her."

He knew she was right, but Mina's friend didn't wait for him to acknowledge that; she simply disconnected, leaving Malachite listening to a dial tone that was only slightly less abrasive than Raye's voice.

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"So, what do you think?"

Mina smiled as she looked around Artemis' new London apartment, hearing the pride in his voice. "It's beautiful," she told him, and her smile almost reached her eyes.

And it was. The place couldn't compare to the apartment she'd just begun to share with Malachite, but in the years since Artemis had decided to take on a purely human form, he'd done well for himself. His home was nicely furnished, welcoming, warm…a little too cozy for her tastes, but to a man who'd spent most of this life as a cat, it probably seemed spacious.

He was right to be proud.

Mina's smile wasn't the only one that didn't reach the eyes. Artemis' lips were curved upwards, but his expression was far too serious as he watched her move about his small living room. "What happened, Mina?"

The question hurt. Hurt all the more because she didn't really have an answer. Oh, she knew what had happened, why she'd left, but she didn't know why it had happened or what she was supposed to do now.

Years of practice kept both her expression and her voice even as she turned back to face her oldest friend. "Where are Luna and Diana?" she asked in return, hoping he'd take the hint and let the matter drop.

He didn't, of course. "Mina…"

She sighed, wondering why he had to be so stubborn as she forced a regretfully wry smile to her lips. "He cheated," she answered simply, the sudden harshness of her voice not matching the sad curve of her lips. "I left."

He stared at her, fury swiftly replacing the shock that had blossomed in his expression. "Malachite cheated on you?"

Mina shrugged. She knew he wanted details, answers…maybe even permission to go out and punish Malachite for this latest sin, but she had nothing to give him. She'd come here to escape her pain, not dwell on it, and she certainly wasn't going to help Artemis pass judgment on Malachite. Maybe Mal deserved it, but she only wanted to wash her hands of him, start over.

It was the only way she would keep her sanity.

And so she turned to Artemis, her blue eyes suddenly full of steel. "Yes," she said, her voice soft for all that the words were just as sharp as her gaze. "I don't want to talk about it, Art."

He was staring at her again, trying to measure her pain so he'd know how to help her. Mina knew he meant well, but she also knew that if she let him comfort her, she'd lose it. She had to hold the agony inside, lock it away almost as if it were something to be cherished and protected, or she wouldn't survive the heart-wound Malachite had dealt her.

And so she turned away, asked again after his wife and child, let him know with her words that there weren't words for this and that he shouldn't even try to find them. She could tell that he didn't agree, but she also knew he loved her too much to ignore the hint a second time.

He didn't. He simply sighed and admitted defeat, led her further into his home. He turned the conversation to other things, to his family and her flight and his latest novel, granted her the time she needed to heal on her own terms.

Mina didn't bother to tell him that while his efforts were appreciated, they were also wasted. She didn't feel the need to point out that the hurt ran too deep, that she'd never really recover from this and that time wouldn't help her any. She was just grateful that he wasn't pushing the issue.

That and she'd never been a big fan of stating what should have been obvious.

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Understanding came hours later, after he'd spent most of the day fruitlessly combing the city for Mina. Malachite had returned to their apartment, panicked and exhausted, worried almost to the point of insanity…and immediately had his panic increase a thousand times over as he walked through the door and realized that Mina's things were gone.

He froze, his entire body stiffening as the color drained from his face. He was finding it hard to think clearly through his fears, but a single thought still managed to survive the chaos that his mind had become.

She must have seen…but it wasn't…

Oh, gods.

Mina wasn't missing. She wasn't hurt or lost or even just unable to find her phone.

She'd left him.

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The postcard came two days later. Malachite, exhausted and pale from not sleeping or eating in all that time, could barely get his bloodshot eyes to focus on the words hurriedly scrawled across the back.

I hope that kiss was worth it, Mal.

And just like that, his world fell apart.

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Mina had never crashed on a friend's couch for three straight months before.

She hoped she would never have to do it again.

It wasn't that Artemis and Luna minded. As far as they were concerned, she could stay with them for the rest of their lives. It was almost like old times, they told her, and if it wasn't anything at all like old times and they weren't blind to the hurt behind Mina's smiles, the pretence helped. Mina knew that as long as she put enough of herself into making everyone else believe she was coping, as long as she kept them into from realizing she was dying inside, one day she'd be able to fool herself, as well. She'd forget that she was only pretending, and then she could move on with her life.

Maybe she'd even learn to laugh again.

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Another two months passed, and by then Artemis and Luna were no longer watching Mina quite so closely, no longer treating her as though she was fragile and would shatter at any moment. She wasn't fragile, hadn't ever been, but she also didn't think they'd realized it was already too late to save her from breaking.

Or maybe she wasn't as broken as she'd thought, because no matter how hard it was just to keep breathing, she was starting to have something resembling a life again. She'd gotten herself a job and an apartment close to Artemis, made new friends and found ways to occupy herself as the days stretched into weeks and the weeks became months. She knew it was something of an empty life, but while she hadn't quite stopped wondering if Malachite was now with that other girl or if he'd completely forgotten the blonde he'd once claimed to love, at least she'd gotten off Artemis' couch.

She'd really started to hate that couch.

Mina had even reconciled with the senshi. She'd let Artemis run interference for her for the first week or two, not wanting to deal with their anger or their judgments or, gods forbid, their pity, but Mina had known she couldn't shut them out forever. Nor had she wished to. Too much depended on the strength of her bond with them, and she'd waited only until she could keep her voice steady before she tried to explain why she'd fled.

They'd taken the news better than she'd expected. Perhaps Artemis had already told them some of it, but they'd only voiced their concerns for her, left the rest alone. They didn't even offer to hunt down Malachite for her, and while she'd never have let them, maybe this was their way of telling Mina that they still trusted her judgment.

They still asked her to come home, of course. Mina wasn't needed, exactly—they hadn't had a new enemy in years—but it was the first time the senshi had been apart since they were fourteen. It'd been hard enough when Luna and Artemis had decided to raise their daughter in a safer city than Tokyo, but letting their leader leave the country as well…

It was too much for them. They may not have needed Venus, but they wanted Mina, and they weren't willing to lose her, especially not over something Malachite had done.

Mina understood that, but she wasn't ready to return to Japan. Not yet.

She wasn't sure if she would ever be.

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Seven months.

Seven months of restless days and sleepless nights, and if Mina wasn't any more at peace than she'd been the day she'd left, her smiles were no longer quite so forced. She was taking a genuine interest in the world around her again, and it seemed only fitting that she celebrate by changing her mind and going home.

It was to be a short visit—a few days at the most, and since Mina didn't plan on leaving Raye's temple once there, the odds of running into Malachite were nonexistent. Mina would be safe from him, even assuming he still thought of her at all, and this visit might be just what she needed to regain the last of her shattered self.

And so Mina bid farewell to Artemis and boarded another plane, refused to think about Malachite through the long journey home. She didn't let herself dwell on her regrets or the might-have-been's, didn't let herself focus on anything but the friends so eagerly awaiting her return.

It was easier than she'd thought it would be.

The senshi met her at the airport, threw their arms around her and nearly smothered her with their welcome. Mina gave herself over to them, to their chatter and their warmth and their love, and she didn't even keep an eye out for Malachite as they left the airport and drove to Raye's temple.

Her first few hours home passed quickly. It was like old times with the senshi, and it helped that they were so careful to avoid any talk of Malachite. Her heart-sisters acted as if he'd never existed, as if she'd never left, and while Mina wasn't usually one to run from her problems, she was…relieved by that.

She should have known better than to think they'd judge her.

She should have known better than to leave them just because she'd been hurting.

She really should have known better than to love Malachite in the first place, especially when they'd warned her so often. The next time I find myself falling for a reincarnated enemy, I'm definitely going to listen when literally everyone I know tells me it's a bad idea.

Mina slept better that night that she had since the day she'd found Malachite again, and the weight that was suddenly absent from her shoulders had her smiling in her sleep. She was still smiling as the morning sun woke her the next morning, as she groggily stumbled from Raye's guesthouse and out into the temple courtyard…

…as she nearly walked right into the reason she'd fled the country in the first place.

The smile died.

Malachite was waiting for her, his tall body propped almost casually against the outer wall of the guesthouse. His arms were at his sides, his face as empty as though they ran into each like this all the time, as though seven months' worth of grief hadn't stood between them. His eyes were locked on hers, his lips bent in the smallest of frowns.

Maybe Mina should have expected him, but of course she hadn't, and she stumbled back in her shock. Malachite instinctively reached out to her, but Mina's training kicked in and she spun away before his fingers could do more than graze the smooth skin of her arms. She danced out of his reach, steadied herself, finally accepted that her eyes weren't lying to her and that Malachite really was before her.

The timing of this really sucks monkey butt.

She stared at him. He stared at her. Both of them were pale, and Mina forced herself not to search for any emotion in his hard face. She doubted that she'd find it—his expression was usually just as unreadable as her own—but she also knew it'd be much easier to keep her distance if she didn't suspect that he was hurting or angry or even indifferent.

Then again, just because she couldn't look for emotion in his face didn't mean she could look away, either. That would have been cowardice, an admittance of weakness, if only to herself, and she wouldn't tolerate that. She'd already shown too much weakness over Malachite, and so she allowed her eyes to rake over him, her lips pursing in an effort to hold her own emotions inside.

He was still as beautiful as she remembered, but she thought that he'd lost weight. His once glorious tan had faded into nothing, and he looked…haggard, really. He seemed too thin, now, thin and silent and tired, though his silver eyes were burning as they stared back at her.

Mina didn't know what to say to him, didn't know how to act or what to think or feel. She'd spent so many months telling herself to forget him, telling herself it was better this way, but now that he was actually here…

She only felt…tired. Empty.

Maybe even a little lonely.

Mina bit her lip, her eyes suddenly becoming shuttered. We never had a future, anyway, the senshi in her whispered. And I'll never have any peace until he realizes that.

Mina looked up at the man she'd always loved but had never thought to see again, and when the words finally came, they were almost child-like in their simplicity. "I left you," she said, no inflection at all in her voice.

His gaze was intense. "Yes."

No emotion in his voice, either.

She continued to stare at him. "I don't want to talk to you."

"I know."

"I hate you."

She didn't, of course, but this wouldn't be the best time to admit she was lying.

He nodded coolly. "I'm aware of that."

It wasn't the way she'd pictured this conversation going—and yes, she had pictured it, even if she'd never really thought it would take place. Mina sighed, though she'd also schooled her features into a carefully neutral mask. The last thing she needed was to let him see how much she was hurting. "Why are you even here, then?"

Malachite was silent for so long that she started wondering if he'd ever answer. Then—

"I couldn't leave it like this, Mina," he finally confessed, his voice so quiet that she had to strain to hear him. "I know you hate me, but I needed…"

He cut himself off, and she fought the urge to wince. His expression was still as blank as ever, but there could be no mistaking the desperation in his voice.

If she hadn't been so tired of it all, she might have hated him for that. Where did he get off, letting her see how unhappy he was? Didn't he know this was already too hard for her?

Malachite didn't try to say anything more, but he was still staring at her, his mouth twisted in something too dark to even be considered a frown. She knew he was waiting for some kind of answer, but what could she say? She wasn't about to tell him that she still loved him, or that she'd forgiven him.

Even if she did. Even if she now realized she had.

Mina frowned. "You needed what, Mal? My forgiveness? To know that you didn't break me?" She shook her head, needing to fake only a little of the bitterness that suddenly crept into her words. "You didn't, you know. I won't pretend that it was easy, but I got over it." She deliberately paused, then added, "I got over you."

Something in Mal's face hardened even more, but Mina wasn't about to let him say anything. "Look," she sighed, pushing away the bitterness but not allowing her face to soften in the slightest. "If forgiveness is all you wanted, then you have it. I'll even wish you well with her…just don't ask for anything else from me, Mal. Don't ask me to listen to your excuses or your apologies. Don't ask me to give you another chance. I can't. I won't."

His face twisted with pure frustration. "Mina, can't you just—"

She held up a hand to stop him. "Don't bother, Mal," she said, interrupting when he tried to speak anyway. "Do you really think anything you say can make a difference at this point? We've been over for ages. It's done. Time to move on."

She'd kept as little emotion as possible in her voice, knowing it would hurt him more, knowing, also, that his pain would only make the separation easier for both of them. Drive him away, the senshi-within was whispering. Drive him away before it's too late for both of us.

Yes, the part of her that was not a senshi, the part of her that was simply a girl in love, murmured in silent agreement even as her heart constricted. Drive him away while I'm still strong enough to let him go.

Mina brought her gaze back to Malachite's, only then realizing that she'd looked away in the first place. The senshi inside had taken control again, and her eyes were so completely blank that she might as well have been speaking with a stranger. "It's for the best," she added in a softer voice. "As different as we are…" She shook her head, allowed her lips to curve into a sad, slightly bitter smile. "Haven't you realized that we never stood a chance, anyway? Better that we break up now, when there's still time for us to find happiness with other people, then to stay together and probably end up hating each other in the end."

Mina hadn't missed the way Mal's face had tensed again when she'd mentioned finding happiness with other people, and if she'd thought his eyes had been burning when she'd first walked through the door…well, that was nothing to the intensity in them now. She, too, tensed, though her face remained as impassive as ever. She waited for him to speak, knowing this would be the moment when he either begged her to come back to him or told her he never wanted to see her again.

Mina still didn't know which she wanted most.

Malachite's voice, when he finally broke the silence that had stretched out between them once again, was so soft that she could barely hear him. "Is this what you really want, Mina?"

She blinked at him, genuinely surprised that his response was so…quiet, passive. "Yes," she answered just as softly, the surprise immediately pushed away so that it wouldn't show on her perfect features.

He stared at her for another moment, his silver eyes piercing and suddenly cold, and then, with an equally sharp nod, he abruptly turned and walked away.

Mina watched him go, wondering why it hurt so much that he never looked back.

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Venus Smurf's Thoughts of the Day:

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.

Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.