Under the Pines.

This is set directly after First of May and before Not Alive. It's based on the song Under the Pines which is about a love affair between Leonard Nimoy and Bigfoot.

I agreed to go to the party, that was how this whole thing started. A faerie revel. In hind sight, I probably should have just sent a polite note, but at the time that seemed ridiculous. It was an honour to be invited. To refuse would have offended some pretty powerful beings.

It had seemed... logical, that I should go.

How was I supposed to know I would end up broken hearted?

It's one of my cast iron rules. One that I never violate. And I destroy anyone in my employ, in my city, who does violate it.

I don't have sex unless it's fully consensual.

We had one night. That's all it meant to you. Now I'm alone and wishing I could stop thinking of you.

I remember drinking you down.

I remember biting a mark on your throat.

I remember making you beg for me to fuck you, making you say 'please'.

We'd been building something. a tentative friendship, at least, but now? Nothing. You refuse my calls, and ignore my overtures.

I am in love. But it's only a fantasy, yet I find myself wishing for the wizard who cared for me, under the pines.

Harry.

I miss you. Your company. The way you let me be just John.

I've tried so hard to play it cool. I didn't want to overdo it. Maybe I was a lovesick fool, sending you that big bag of suet. Well, Burger King, as you call it. Same difference. You don't eat enough anyway, and now I can't feed you when we meet as ourselves.

I thought at least you'd call. Was I so wrong about you? Do you hate me that much? Have I finally destroyed you? Crushed you the way I crush everything?

Maybe I'm better off alone.

You seemed almost scared, when I saw you afterwards. Our eyes meeting across a crowded bar. Is that it, you're scared?

Of me?

Of yourself?

Of what we did?

You left before I could talk to you.

I am in love. But it's just a fantasy. It has to be a fantasy.

Close my eyes and I see you there, musky smell of your long, dark hair. Under the pines. Our minds were one, if only for a moment.

It was almost like a soul gaze.

I remember seeing your soul as if it was yesterday. I wish you could look on mine again. See me as I am now.

I'm running one front of the Vampire War, staring at the blood (an ocean). I wish you could be here somehow. Here with me.

But you're not. You don't care for me.

I wish I really had no emotion.

Or that I could be like you. Saving the lives and loves of weaker things and crushing the hearts of the darker ones.

I am in love.

How I long to be back under you, under the pines.