Title: Southern, Not Country
Summary: Reno and Cid argue and Vincent comes to the rescue of his pilot. ...Much to Reno's horror.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Warnings: Swearing, yaoi, mentions of alcohol, mentions of religion, mentions of bestiality, mentions of drug use, etc.
"You live too fuckin' north!" Reno sneered as he flipped off the blonde pilot, who had no problem sneering right back at the Turk.
"Ain't got shit to do with where I fuckin' live!" Cid snapped as he glared darkly at the redhead. "Has to do with who I am!"
"Yeah, an' yer a fuckin' country boy, yo," the Turk added.
"Fuck ya! I'm goddamn Southern!"
"Yer one step up from bein' a hillbilly, yo!" Reno laughed, making the pilot's ears turn a dark shade of red.
"The fuck I am, ya slum rat!"
"Slum rat?" the redhead huffed angrily as he clenched his hands into fists. "The fuck do you get off callin' me a slum rat, ya inbred, Bible-humpin', animal-fuckin' hick!"
"Ya son of a whore!" Cid bellowed before he lunged at the thin Turk, snarling when he was suddenly engulfed in red and lifted off of his feet.
"What is going on here?" a deep voice asked, cutting through the fight as he held onto the flailing and cursing blonde with ease. Unamused, red eyes looked down at the Turk, letting the wiry man fidget under his intense gaze like a small insect that was caught by its wings and held between a child's fingers.
"Uhhh..."
"The shithead thinks I'm country!" Cid hissed as he finally managed to pull the heavy cloak off of his face, feet hovering above the ground as the gunner held onto him. "I'm fuckin' Southern! The damn idjit can't get it through his goddamn mako-huffin' head that I ain't country!"
"...And just what is the difference between the two?" Vincent asked, raising an eyebrow at the wounded look that Cid threw his way while Reno laughed.
"He's fuckin' country!" the Turk said before clarifying. "Ain't got no manners, ain't that skilled, 'bout as graceful as a box of tacks, yo."
"I'm Southern!" the pilot snarled. "I got fuckin' manners, build goddamn rockets an' airship fer a livin', an' got more grace in the tip of my dick than ya got in yer whole body!"
"Ya don't even live in the South!" the redhead countered. "Rocket Town's way the fuck up north, yo!"
"He is Southern," Vincent cut in with a decisive tone as he smirked behind the tall cowl of his cloak, ending the argument before it could start up again. "Cidney-"
"Cid!" the blonde corrected as he let out an embarrassed huff.
"-Is very skilled and has a rather impressive intelligence quotient. He is also rather polite and courteous, has the grace and mannerisms of a supine feline when he is caught in the right mood...and he even begs and pleads quite wonderfully when he is in need of sexual release."
Reno blinked as his mind quickly sorted out what Vincent had said. Spending so much time around Rufus and Tseng had made it so he could figure out what he was saying by the time the gunner had turned around. "Oh, sick! I didn't need those images floatin' 'round in my head, yo!" Grumbling as Vincent strode away with a grumbling Southerner in his arms, Reno quickly ran to the nearest bar, hoping that drowning himself in liquor would flush those images out of his head.
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