The Buddha was born into the life of a girl named Helga Pataki.
It was a bright and hot Saturday afternoon in the city. The air hung thick with the August humidity.
Kids were playing with the large sprays of open fire hydrants and enjoying sticky sweet ice cream cones of many flavors, their parents sitting off to the side in folding chairs fanning themselves.
Arnold and his friends were walking up the street towards the arcade. They hoped to escape the humidity by taking refuge inside its air-conditioned walls.
Arnold heard a familiar voice yell: "Hey there football head!"
It was Helga Pataki, youngest daughter of Bob Pataki, the renowned Beeper King.
Arnold sighed and said, "Hello Helga," and continued walking, ignoring the blond haired girl and carried on his conversation with Jerold and Sid. Arnold almost felt sorry for Helga, almost. She was constantly living in the shadow of her older sister, making her into a bitter nasty girl. Arnold couldn't remember a time of when she was happy of nice to him at all.
"Hey! Don't you ignore me fish-breath!"Helga started running up to the group of boys, but it was too late. They had already begun crossing the street, Jerold and Sid taking off at a run, since they're paranoid like that, and Arnold at a more leisurely pace.
Helga cursed her luck and Arnold and her lack of courage for confessing her love for him and anything else, really. It was then that she noticed the large black van that came hurtling around the corner and down the street, its tires squealing and leaving a trail of angry drivers in its wake. That is also when she realized that the van was on a collision course directly at her Arnold.
With a burst of adrenalin, the blond ran out into the street intent on saving the boy of her dreams, crying out at the same time, "Look out football head!"
Jerold and Sid were yelling indistinctly at Arnold to hurry up, he could tell, but all he saw was the huge black vehicle bearing up on him. He saw his life flash before his eyes briefly and then he heard a cry, a squeal, felt someone shove his body and then he heard a thump.
Arnold fell on the pavement hard. He was dizzy and his knees hurt like he scraped them. He remembered that he was supposed to be dead and got up and looked around.
The van that almost flattened him was parked sloppily up the road, a ways off to the side, its caution lights blinking. The doors were flung open and a non-descript man came running out, yelling into his cell phone in a panicked fashion.
Arnold looked around him more closely and saw what appeared to be a young girl in a pink dress and blond hair lying in the middle of the road, face down.
"Helga?" Arnold crawled closer to the girl's unmoving form and reached out and shook her.
"Helga," he cried realizing it was her. Arnold quickly rolled her over and pulled her head into his lap.
He tried to wake her up, "Helga! Helga! It's me, Football head! Come on, wake up!"
Helga's eyes fluttered open and she looked up into Arnold face.
"Arnold," she said, choking slightly.
"Yes Helga! I'm here! Someone call an ambulance!" Arnold cried out to some of the pedestrians.
"They're already on the way," said the man that came out of the van who had been the cause of this whole problem.
"Arnold." Helga knew she was going to die soon and she wanted to get her feelings off her chest. She had to confess.
Arnold turned back, panic glimmering in his eyes, "What is it Helga."
"Arnold, I need… to tell you…"
"What is it?"
"Arnold… I lo…love you…" She did it. She told him.
"W-what? Helga, what do you mean?"
"I love you… football head. What did you… think I … meant?"
"I.. Helga hang on. The ambulance will be hear soon." Just then, Arnold realized something he has never known before. "Helga, I have to tell you something to."
"What is it Arnold?"
"I… Love you too," Arnold confessed.
"Oh Arnold…" She started but was cut off a violent fit of coughing. She covered her mouth with her hand as her body shook with the force of her coughing. Helga took away her hand a discovered it to be covered with a deep crimson liquid. Blood.
"Helga!" Arnold cried, "Stay strong! Help will be here soon!"
"Arnold, can… you…" She trailed off again, coughing.
Arnold had a feeling of dread fill him and was propelled to do something he never thought he would do. He looked into Helga's rapidly dimming eyes, bent over and gently, unsurely, and brushed his lips against the girls cold, sweat slicked brow.
As he surfaced he looked down again and saw her lifeless eyes and realized that she was dead.
"Helga?" He whispered. "Helga!" He cried out, shaking the girls shoulders slightly, tears streaming down his face.
"Helga! Wake up! No! You can't be dead! Wake up! HELGA!"
From that day forward, everyone that heard Helga harrowing act was deeply moved, but, no one was as moved as Arnold. Arnold would never forget Helga's selfless sacrifice to save him.
The End.
Ok... Before anyone reviews, read this.
Please do not take this seriously. This was the product of an assignment that I had to do in my World Religions class. I know its terrible, but I thought it was funny and overdramatic and what not. So, just enjoy it.