Evening of Always

This is my first fan fiction! I'm thinking of just keeping it a one-shot unless reviewers want more to it I would be glad to continue. I'm sorry for any typos! Please review, follow, and favorite. Please enjoy it!

-Lily

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Everything belongs to Andrew Marlowe!

As she walked into the elevator she contemplated her previous move and her next one. She is no longer a detective. Part of her was relieved, like a weight had been lifted but another part ached slightly. What is she going to do with herself now? All he knew was she wanted him.

She knew how badly she hurt him. She should have told him about the days she was shot. She wanted to explain how she couldn't accept it. But she was ready now. She had been for months. She needed the right timing. And now because of how arrogant she was she may have lost him forever. Her heart ached at the thought of him hating her. Not wanting anything to do with her. She wished she could go back and fix everything.

It was raining. 10 pm and pouring outside. She left the twelfth and started wandering. After an hour she found herself at a playground. The same one she was at with him a year ago. Did she permanently ruin their strong relationship? She should have stopped the case when she still could. She could have told Gates everything and let her deal with it. But no, that wasn't who she was. Truthfully she didn't care about the past few days. The only thing on her mind was Castle. Will her forgive her? Or will he shut her out. Maybe he has given up on her. Maybe she waited too long. She sits on the swing and memories rush back to her of when she and Rick sat here after she didn't call for months. Sadness overcomes her. There were so many lies and secrets kept in the past year. Castle truly loved her and she rejected him because he was protecting her by lying. He knew she was being irrational. Blinded by her drive to find her mother's killer. He's always looked out for her how could she have let him down like this? How could she have not just trusted him?

She needed to see him. Tomorrow? No. Tonight. He needed to know everything. How much he mattered to her. How he is all she is thinking about.

She took a deep breath and ran to his apartment. It was easily 2 miles away but she didn't want to take a taxi. She needed this time to think. To play out what she would say to him. Her head was cloudy. She needed to straighten herself out. She had no idea how to pile all her thoughts into words. Possible scenarios ran through her head a mile a minute:

Hey I actually love you so forgive me for being a prude the last 4 years.

I'm sorry for lying about what I remember. I'm sorry for dating demming and josh. I'm sorry for causing you all this pain the last 4 years.

I've always had feelings for you I just didn't want to ruin what we have... Or had.

I needed time to deal with my screwed up life. I know deep down I've loved you since the day we passed out in each other's arms in the freezer.

Everything sounds like too much or not enough. Maybe she'll just say 'Fuck me' and he'll take it. She's half a mile away now. I'll just wing it, she thinks. She slows down to walk the last 5 minutes. Hopefully something will pop into her head at the last minute. Maybe she'll just go at him right when he opens the door, then he can't resist. What if he just slams the door right when he sees her? No. He wouldn't do that to anyone. She slowly comes to a stop at his building. His doorman recognizes her and let's her in. She's fidgeting in the elevator on her way to the top floor. She runs her fingers through her messy hair and realizes she must look like crap from being in the rain. The elevator bings and opens. She slowly walks up to his door and takes a few deep breaths. She knocks 4 times and waits. She hears footsteps and her heart quickens and her throat tightens. The door swings open. He has a cheerful look until he realizes who it is. His face goes straight and his eyes narrow. He waits a bit. His eyes burn into her skin.

"Beckett what do you want?" this was her chance. He looks so mad. But he has to know.

"You." She whispers as she takes 3 strides into his apartment and grabbed his face. He tried to back up but she pulled and put everything into the kiss. He slightly resists which stings her. His lips were soft and delicious. Just the way she remembered them. She had waited so long to feel his lips again. The spark between them. Suddenly she was back in the alley with him distracting the guard. At that moment she knew how much he loved her. It was like the kiss opened him like a book allowing her to see his soul. Her feelings and thoughts were all over the place back then and pushed off any sort of discussion about the kiss.

They slowly broke away, and she put her hands on his shoulders. Her blood is pounding in her ears. Both their heads were bowed and they were breathing deeply.

"I'm so sorry Castle. I'm so sorry." She choked a bit. "I'm so sorry." they were still taking very deep breaths. She felt a few tears start down her face and pulled his face and started to kiss him when he yanked her away. She was a bit annoyed and it showed on her face. She knew what was coming though. He looked confused but sincere. He saw her tears and she tried to pull herself together.

"What happened?" he says.

An explanation.

"He got away and I didn't care." She brought her eyes to meet his. She gave him a slight smile. "I almost died and all I could think about was you." this was 100% true. At the moment she had almost died all she could think about was how she has to be strong and stay on the ledge for him. She couldn't put him through that kind of pain and leave him not knowing how much he means to her. She told herself that if she survived she would not waste another minute without him and she would never hurt him like she did.

Her eyebrows push together. "I just want you" She decided to put it plainly. She looks at his lips and brings herself close to him but then slowly back away, hesitating. She lightly brushes the corner of his mouth and suddenly thunder cracks and he pushes her against the door closing it. His mouth feverishly clicks to hers our tongues intertwined. Her hand goes to the back of his neck to keep him there. His lips were hot on her damp skin. He kisses her jaw and neck, pressing her harder against the door. She tries to breathe but her breaths are jagged. He kisses her lips multiple times then goes back to her neck and down her collarbone to her chest. He gives one more lingering kiss between her breasts and slowly rises. He unbuttons the first button on my shirt revealing my scar. Their heads are together and she takes his hand and places it on the small circular scar. He lightly kisses her and she can't help but smile. They gaze in each other's eyes as their hands lock together and she starts toward his study. Half way there he twists and lifts her. She wraps her legs around the small of his back and locks her arms around his neck. She kisses him feverishly and he walks her to his bed. As they collapse on his bed she let out a deep breath. She had wanted this for so long. She runs her hand through his hair and he brushes a strand away from her face. He's hovering over her.

"Kate, are you okay? Because I don't want this is your unsure at all. I don't want you to run anymore. I don't want you to regret this in the morning." she knew this would come up. He was so sweet. She caresses his cheek.

"No. I have never been so sure about anything in my entire life. I want you. I will never run from you. I will stay, always."

"God I love you so much" before she can say anything he locks their lips. He did not want her to feel pressured to say it back. She reaches for his shirt and slowly unbutton it and he slides it off. He presses his bare skin against her wet clothes and he starts unbuttoning her shirt. He manages to pull it off and toss it in the corner. She then pushes and rolls on top of him. She kisses his neck and collarbone. His skin was so soft; she didn't think she would ever get used to it. This was all new for them but it felt so right. She goes for his belt buckle and quickly pulls it off. He unbuttons her jeans and slowly but carefully pulls them off throwing them across the room with a wet slap. He's able to wiggle his pants off and then their just in their underwear. He turns so she's sitting on him and he slowly rises to a sitting position and kisses her scar ever so slightly.

"I love you." he says meeting her eyes

"I love you too. So much. More than you could ever imagine." She leans in and kisses him. She pushes him back onto the comforter and he turns so he is on top. They're fighting for dominance. He's hovering over her but she can feel his warmth. Her hair is soaking the pillows but he doesn't seem to care or notice. He rolls off her to his nightstand and turns back with square plastic. She grabs it and tosses it.

"don't bother." his eyes go completely confused but before he can question it she responds by going close to his ear and whispering "I'm on the pill" she says.

"Hmm, Beckett you having more physical activity these days?" he asks smiling under her. Her cheeks go red. "What?" he says his eyebrows push together.

"Well... A couple months ago I had a feeling we might have gotten together so I got on the pill for convenience." her cheeks redden more. She didn't want to admit to it hut she'd been hoping for this night a long time ago. She did not know why she was shy about it because he obviously wanted this much before she did.

"Hmm. I won't ask any more questions if you answer just one." they were getting side tracked but neither really seemed to care.

"Okay, I guess." she says.

"When exactly did you start with the pill? I want exact date or in the vicinity." he smiled. He really wanted to know when she had decided she wanted to sleep with him.

"After I saved you and your mother from the bank robbers." she whispers. She was still straddling him.

"That's more than a couple months!" he exclaims. He lets out a sigh "why didn't we hook up back then?" he says with agony in his voice.

"I swear I was going to but then the sniper case came up and pulled me back under. But none of that matters now. Let's just get back on track." He turns so he is hovering over her and slides his hands under her back to unhook her bra. After they are completely naked and under the sheets she straddles him again. She leans down grinding into him.

"Kaaate" he says. She kisses him and runs her hand down his chest until she lightly squeezes him making him jump.

She rubs him until he's painfully hard. He decides he's had enough and flips her on her back. She lets out a seductive sigh. He slides his fingers between her folds. With his mouth he takes her right breast in his mouth massaging her nipple with his tongue.

"God Kate, you're so wet." he whispers kissing her neck. She could tell she had bad bruising from the fight but she didn't mind the slight pain. He carefully slides and finger in receiving a low moan from Kate, with her arms wrapped around his neck. She shut her eyes tight.

"More castle" she pleads for him. He slides anther finger in. She berths out and pulls him tighter. He pumps slowly. Too slow for her taste.

"Faster castle." she whispers in his ear. He obliges and picks up his pace until she is moaning louder and louder. He could tell she was close. He pushes deeper into her until she loans his name, almost a yell. She ceases over the she and pushes a few more times into her. He lets her relax. She turns him so she is on top.

"I need you in me." She says in his ear. She then lowers herself onto him. He was big and it hurt her more. Her eyes shut.

"Am I hurting you?" He says sincerely.

"No" She lies. He calls her bluff and moves her on bottom. He slide out half way, but clenches her les around him.

"Castle, I'm fine just keep going." She says. He pauses but pushes back into her. She feels a moan in the back of her throat. He thrusts slowing building towards the edge. Her arms wrapped around his neck she pulls his chest to meet hers. His pace quickens and they get closer to the edge. He pushes a deeper and faster until she screams his name while he does the same. He pumps a few more times until he pulls out and lies beside her, with his arms wrapped around her. She stares into his big blue eyes.

"Definitely staying." She smiles and puts her hand on his cheek. They kiss softly and he wraps his arms around her. It doesn't take long before they both doze off. Kate had never been happier in her entire life.

I hope you liked it! Please review and let me know if you'd like me to continue!