Disclaimer: I do not own Albert the Fifth Musketeer or the characters.
Notes: Alright, so I was rewatching the episode The Spy when the idea for this one hit. Consider this a continuation of the episode as the events follow right after. Enjoy!
Brizzle turned to Albert in shock. "It seems I passed my hiccups onto you."
"It's hic! alright, Brizzle. Hic! I'll just hic! have to hic! focus on hic! finding a hic! cure." With each hiccup, poor Albert found himself bouncing up and down in his saddle on his mule's back. He patted the equine to apologise for that.
"Well, I'd best be off. Take care, Albert."
"Hic! You too, Brizzle. Hic!" He watched the young man mount his horse and ride off down the path. Assured that he'd left safely, Albert turned his mule around and rode back through the city.
Hic! He jumped a few inches as he released that hiccup. "This is hic! no good. Hic! How can I hic! focus on my hic! inventions?"
Captain De Treville entered the workshop. "Is Brizzle still here?"
"No, Captain." Albert leapt up into the air with the next hiccup he released.
"Ah, you've caught them."
"Can I hic! request leave hic!, Sir? It's hic! hard to hic! work on my hic! inventions at this hic! rate."
"Of course. Take all the time you need to treat those hiccups."
"Thank hic! you, Sir." He let out another loud one.
"I'll leave it to you, Albert." At that, De Treville left the workshop.
Okay, I'd better see what remedies Grandmama had for hiccups. Thanks to his hiccups, he wound up hopping over to the bookshelf, and found he didn't need a stool because his hiccups allowed him to jump high enough to reach. While these are handy for that reason, I'd still feel much better if I got rid of them as soon as possible. He bounced back to the table and put the book down. Okay, Grandmama, what do you suggest for hiccups?
The first remedy suggested was holding his breath for as long as he could. "It hic! didn't want to hic! work with Brizzle, but hic! I'm hic! willing to try anything!" He inhaled deeply and held his breath for thirty seconds before he had to release it. He panted a little to regain the oxygen his body needed. He waited. Waited. "Are they...? Hic! No, still there..."
The second remedy was to stand on his head while trying to drink a glass of water. Unfortunately, he didn't get much water into his mouth. Hic! The hiccup he released caused him to fall over. He sat up. "That didn't hic! work. What next?" He stepped over to the table and read the book. "Try scaring them away. But, hic! I'm not one hic! to be scared easily. I'll hic! have to ask the hic! others for help hic! with this one."
And so, five musketeers were gathered outside the door of the workshop. Albert explained the situation as best as he could, only pausing every so often due to an attack of hiccups. "So, maybe if hic! you scared them hic! out of me, it hic! might work."
"But, you're one of the bravest men we know, there's hardly anything that would scare you," Porthos commented.
"Is there anything you're afraid of?" D'Artagnan asked.
"Not hic! that I'm hic! quite aware hic! of," Albert replied. "But, please hic! find something hic! quick! I hic! can't stand hic! these hiccups hic! anymore!"
They knew the situation was serious when Albert was distressed, he was normally a happy-go-lucky, never bothered by anything kind of person. "Come on, then, we'll find some scary stuff and see if it will work."
"Or if it's not fear that will win the prize, what if we also looked at surprise?" Aramis suggested.
"At this hic! rate, I'm hic! willing to hic! try anything!" Albert exclaimed.
"Alright then, Albert! Leave it to us!" D'Artagnan boldly stated. "Wait here, we'll be back as soon as possible."
"Thank hic! you." He watched his friends hurry off.
He waited for about half a day, still letting out hiccups. When will they stop? He saw his friends approaching him, they were each carrying something different. "You're hic! back!"
"We weren't about to let you down," D'Artagnan replied. "Okay, Porthos, you first."
Porthos stepped forward, a jar in hand. "I found this big spider just outside of the city. Should I let him out?"
"Maybe if you let hic! her out it hic! might help. This hic! spider is venomous. Hic!" Albert replied.
"Maybe I shouldn't then." He shook up the jar. "But, what if it's angry enough to attack you?"
Albert shook his head. "I'm hic! safe from it, so hic! I don't even feel hic! anxious."
Porthos sighed. "Oh well." He turned to Athos. "Your turn."
Athos was holding a basket. "What about snakes?"
Albert shook his head. "They're hic! more fascinating than hic! scary to me."
"Some bats?" D'Artagnan queried.
Again, Albert shook his head.
Aramis nodded. "As I thought it's not fear that will help, it's surprise that will cause you to let out a yelp." He handed Albert a can. "Open this and you might experience a more friendly form of fright."
The petit male accepted the can and opened it. He jumped back in surprise when he saw a bunch of felt-covered springs leap out of it.
The other musketeers had also leapt back. "Well? Did it work?" Athos queried.
Albert waited and...
"I think it worked!" D'Artagnan cheered.
Albert opened his mouth to say thanks, but another hiccup escaped. "Oh no... I hic! may never get rid of these hiccups..."
"You only let out one that time, you were able to say a more complete sentence."
"You're right! I hic! must be getting rid of them!" He turned to Aramis. "Do you have more hic! surprises?"
Aramis nodded. "I went to the joke shop which was full of pranks and surprises for one to pull." He pulled out another device. "They said this one was a lot of fun for people who like the taste of gum." He offered it to Albert.
Albert grabbed what he thought was going to be a stick of gum, and pulled back quickly enough to avoid having something snap on his finger. He let out a gasp when he saw the snapper come down. "It's like a hic! mousetrap."
"I'm sorry, that one's not much fun, I should've used a different one."
"It's alright, Aramis. The aim is to surprise me, and that's what it did."
D'Artagnan, Porthos and Athos turned to the smaller musketeer. "Can you say something else?" Porthos requested.
"Certainly, Porthos, but why?" Realisation struck like lightning. "My hiccups are gone?" He smiled widely and couldn't help but jump in the air in joy. "They're gone!" He turned to Aramis. "Oh, thank you so much, dear Aramis, your surprises worked!"
"It's quite alright hic! I'm glad I could hic! cause such hic! delight," Aramis replied. "Oh no..."
"Oh, Aramis, I'm so sorry, you've caught my hiccups..."
"Well, we know what to do! Come on, men, to the joke shop!" D'Artagnan declared.
The group of five left the courtyard of the headquarters and made their way into town. Their goal was clear, to treat Aramis of his hiccups.
For the rest of the day, the musketeers found themselves stuck at the joke shop, trying to rid each other of the contagious hiccups they'd managed to keep passing onto each other.