AN: Hey everyone! Welcome to my new commentary on My Immortal! Yeah, I know, it's been done before, but I wanted to do one for myself. So, some things you need to know before you start reading: Firstly, since the chapters are so short, I decided to do two My Immortal chapters each time instead of one. Secondly, for those who hadn't figured it out yet, bold is me talking and regular is the original story. Thirdly, I'm not English, so any mistakes you see which are written in bold, are mine. Rest is all on Tara.

Aaaaaaaaand, before I forget

Disclaimer: I don't own My Immortal, and every day I thank the heavens for that little fact.

Now I'm done, let's get started!

Chapter 1

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) And with these words, the stupidity begins… 2 my gf (ew not in that way) Why would I think of it that way? raven, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE, RAVEN? WHY? Oops, spoilers ;) bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin Who? Justin Bieber? ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! Oh, great. I can see where Twila got all that random stuff…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way What kind of IDIOTIC name is that? and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) Naw! I NEVER would have guessed! with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back What planet are you from? No, seriously. This sounds horrifying and icy blue eyes like limpid tears Excuse me, WHAT? and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee NO. YOU MOST CERTAINLY DON'T LOOK LIKE AMY LEE. Amy Lee, for example, has normal hair and she also has a normal name… (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). Sorry, don't feel like it… I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. But. That would mean you're related. Which would make it WRONG.(not that I mind, I'm a Wincest shipper, for God's sake) I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH! IT'S A SPARKLEFAIRY! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). Naw! I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) *Facepalm* and I wear mostly black. *Bangs head into keyboard* STOP STATING THE OBVIOUS! I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. I'm not sure Hot Topic sells Goth clothes… For example today I was wearing NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT ALREADY! a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. You know, Hogwarts has such a thing called a dress-code… I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, Why would you do that? You just said you had pale skin already? black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining How's that even possible? so there was no sun, No shit, Sherlock! What a perfect observation! which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I'd stare too. You sound completely ridiculous… I put up my middle finger at them. Nice, Ebony. Very nice

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! Poor him

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. But… He was just shouting? Why would he be shy now?

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. 1) Rude, and 2) Completely pointless…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: IS it good? NO. PLZ tell me fangz! Here we go again with the fangz. Stop it!

Chapter 2

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! Never!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. AGAIN? What the Hell's wrong with the weather? I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. Charming… My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I think you should've just kept that t-shirt. It probably covers more of your body anyway… I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. So your hair probably looks like a bird's nest…

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) Oh god… woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. I hate her already… She put on her Marilyn Manson Who thinks Marilyn Manson is a woman? For all those who do, I'm sorry. Marilyn Manson is a f*cking guy! And he's called Marilyn! *shocked* t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) You must look like death warmed over

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. Wow, no need to snap! It was just a question…

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said. I don't like where this is going…

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." Impossible. Good Charlotte is a MUGGLE band he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. "Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked. What, to a non-existing concert?

I gasped. For the first of many times…

AN: Well, that's a wrap on the first two chapters! Please review on your way out and I'll see you next time!