She leaned further into his bare chest and sighed contentedly. She listened for a moment the beating of his heart and enjoyed the feeling brought by his hand caressing her hair always so gently.
She hadn't felt like this since Neal. To have a man she could trust... She chuckled at the thought of how people often mistook trust with openness. She trusted Neal, but it didn't stop her from being cautious when he asked her about her life; she remembered it had taken her forever to tell him and, only after he told her his own story. At least this world's version of it. She trusted Mary Margaret and it hadn't been any different, she had never actually told her friend about her childhood, allowing only small glimpses of it. Of course, after she found out that the said friend was actually her mother, not telling became a resolution in Emma's mind in order not to pain Snow further with the choice she'd made.
She imagined Killian also felt that way, they were much alike. He was so soft on the inside that she couldn't imagine how much he had been through to make him become a pirate. And his fierce resolution to track down Rumplestilskin...
"What are you thinking?"
She met his eyes, finally realising he was looking at her the whole time.
"Nothing."
"C'mon, tell me!" His voice was so happy and so full of confidence and, plus, his eyes starred at her in such a sexy way while waiting for an answer.
"You never told me what happened to make you dedicate your life on killing Rumplestilskin."
His eyes darkened and she could see his jaw set.
"I was just curious... I mean, it had to be something huge to declare war on the Dark One..."
Their eyes met again. He sighed deeply and heavily.
"All right, Swan."
And he told her about everything; he told her how he had known love, the one thing he never imagined he would find for a woman; he briefly gave her a vision on what life was like at sea and, finally, he told her about the fateful day; the one he met Rumplestilskin on the dirty streets of a town he didn't even bothered to know the name. He told her about the day following, when he met the scoundrel for the fight, how things got out of hand and, at last, how he had lost a love and gained a hook.
She was stupefied by the end of it. She thought of Neal, how much anger and hate she had felt when he died in her arms... But to know that it was her fault, that it was because of her that he'd left everything behind, eventually resulting in his death... She didn't think she could've bore it.
"If I just... Had not lured into my ship... If I'd told her to stay with her son, how she was supposed to, nothing of this would've happened. But I wanted her… And it was too good a chance to humiliate him to waste; I wanted to laugh at that weak man, at the coward that, Gods know why, Milah had chosen." He gave a sarcastic laugh and an edge of despise filled his voice "I wanted to see the bloody contrast between us, to see how much superior I was. And I just proved that I am the saddest and pitiable scum of all."
"No, Killian... Hook, you're not that man anymore. The things you've done, that's not for anyone. It demanded courage and selflessness, you know it. And, even at that time, you didn't kidnap her, you gave her a choice.
He was quiet for a long moment after relaxing a little and Emma knew he was going over what she said. They both knew too well that the hate giving space to guilt was proof enough of how far he'd gone from the pirate he was when they first met.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, a smile growing in her lips. Suddenly, she felt tired. It seemed as if she would never recover from the whole Wicked Witch-Snow Queen-on-toll episode and it would be so easy to drift off to sleep here, beside Hook, after such an agreeable night...
"Ahn ahn. My turn, love."
She froze.
"You never told me why you gave Henry up."
She damned her curiosity. She wasn't ready for this. Maybe she would never be. She hadn't told absolutely no one about this, about that day, not even Mary Margaret.
She looked deeply into his expectant eyes.
She breathed in slowly, preparing herself; it was only fair, she guessed. She opened her mouth, hesitating before letting the truth flow.