Everyone Has a Past… - Chapter One: That Which is Lost

DISCLAIMER:Darker than BLACK is not my property…sadness :C

We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing.

- Louisa May Alcott

Ten Years Before…

He'd been so happy to unwrap the telescope, absolutely floored that his parents had deemed him worthy of such an expensive instrument. He just kind of stared at the box, entranced by the picture and the Japanese writing on the side. He couldn't read a word of it, but the boy was willing to bet anything that it was amazing.

"Mom, Dad…thank you...," he couldn't find the words with which to thank his parents properly. His gratitude filled their modestly sized kitchen.

I can't believe they got me a Satake!

"I helped pick it out!" Xing, seated directly across from him, was bouncing up and down on her chair, her short hair swinging every which way and getting in her eyes. He smiled.

"Thanks, Xing."

His little sister glowed with the satisfaction of having made him happy. She straightened, hands clasped on the table's surface and a huge grin splitting her face, her very aura exuding proudness. His parents were off to the side, observing their son and daughter. Dad's arm was around mom's waist. They also wore expressions of satisfaction. A child's joy was also that of a guardian figure that'd done well...and done well they most certainly had.

"We figured with all the time you spend staring up at the stars, the least we could do was help to bring them a little closer," Mom drew him into a brief, gentle hug, the kind that only a mother could give - one hand on his head, the other wrapped around his torso. "Happy birthday, Bolin."

"It's a good one too," dad interjected, pointing at the picture on the side of the box. "See there? It's got a high power lens." He was getting excited over the technical details of the sophisticated thing, and Bolin was too. "It's your twelfth birthday, so we decided to get you something special."

It's amazing…

"...but, the money?" The thought had dawned on him that his family may have spent a little more money on him than they should have. It was a thought that filled him with guilt. They were not poor by any means. They ate three meals a day and paid all their bills on time, but even at twelve Bolin was grounded enough to understand things like budgets...and the fact that a good telescope could cost up to over¥3,800 renminbi.

"Pshhh...," Grandma was there too, stationed in her usual spot - situated right next to the window so she could see outside...a place her cumbersome wheelchair didn't usually let her go.

"Stop worrying about trivial things like money, boy," she issued one of her frequently given (and almost never listened too…by Bolin, anyway) snippets of barbed-sugar wisdom. "…and just go outside and enjoy the damn telescope."

"Brother, let's go right now!" Xing's eyes sparkled with excitement, her hands already on the box, ready to rip and tear until the Japanese telescope was released from its cardboard prison. Bolin wanted to do the same. That moment, he would've liked nothing more than to take his present and his sister, and then stare up into the night sky for hours with the both of them.

Bolin looked to their parents. "Can we? I promise I'll look after her."

Mom and dad exchanged a look…a look that the boy knew all too well. His heart began to sink. "It's late…," dad had started to crush their hopes of a before-bed-stargaze.

"No fair!" Xing whined, pouting. She crossed her arms and hung her head, like any typical kid under ten would do when they were let down.

"It's okay…," he told his sister. "We can use it tomorrow, instead." Bolin couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, too. It would figure that he'd be given such an amazing gift, only to have to wait to use it.

"Don't fret…we'll all go and star gaze together, eventually," mom tried to assure them, placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "I'll pack some snacks and everything." She looked over the Grandma. "How's that sound, mama?" the old woman responded with a "tch," and a shrug of the shoulders.

"Little girls shouldn't complain," she muttered to the window. "It makes their noses fall off." She tried to hide it, but Bolin could detect a playful grin on Grandma's face as Xing quickly raised a hand to her nose, prodding and feeling to make sure it was still there. Mom just shook her head, and ruffled Xing's hair lovingly.

"Can I at least put it together tonight?" Bolin asked hopefully.

Dad shrugged his consent. "I don't see what not…need any help?"

"I wanna help!" Xing cried excitedly.

Bolin nodded and smile gratefully. "It'll go faster with the three of us working together on it!"

Mom went off the find a pair of scissors to cut through the box's many layers of packing tape, and dad disappeared to find a screwdriver. Grandma just watched as the siblings ohhed and ahhed over the observational tool that might as well have been a gift for the both of them, even though it wasn't Xing's birthday - the young girl loved the stars almost as much as her older brother did. Together, the two of them would definitely put some mileage on that thing.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

That night, Bolin lay in bed, ruminating on the many exciting events of the day and how lucky he was to have a family like the one he did. He'd helped Xing and Grandma make his favorite meal after Mom and Dad got back from their respective jobs. All his friends had wished him a happy birthday earlier, at school. After they'd finished putting put the Satake together, they'd been sent straight off to get their nightclothes on, brush their teeth, and peel back the covers to crawl into bed.

"It may be your birthday," mom had told him. "But you still have school in the morning."

How could mom and dad expect him to sleep for eight hours, and then sit through classes for another seven while such a fantastic gift was waiting for him to come home? His fingers were itching to run over the Satake's cool, metal exterior, its many different knobs and lenses…all of which were currently housed – and fully operational – in their kitchen. He wanted to take it outside and figure out how it worked - never mind the fact that he had to get up and go to school in the morning.

Maybe I could sneak out...

What Grandma had said to him as he ascended the stairs to the room he shared with Xing resurfaced in his memory, like a bad omen or something…something right out of his old grandmother's superstitious mind.

"Go to bed, and be good little children now," her finger was pointed right at the both of them, her reprimanding but caring eyes boring into their own wide, innocent ones. "I've told you time and time again that the bad ones get their souls sucked right out of them."

"By what?" Xing had asked, stopping in her tracks and plagued by curiosity.

"The ghosts of the damned…what else?"

As usual, the old woman's words, whilst delivered in a loving tone, still had held a sharp edge supplied by old world beliefs, and a little of something what Bolin suspected was just plain old crankiness. Grandma's grandmother, a farmer out in the rural side of the country, had probably used to say the exact same thing.

Where else would she pick up such crazy ideas?

But whether her warning held merit or not didn't change the fact that Xing would probably be so terrified of "the ghosts of the damned," that she'd find a way to sneak into his bed. Still, her words steeped in fantasy had unsettled him…he had a sneaking suspicion that she knew what he'd been contemplating. It was like she had seen right through his facade of compliance, straight to his true intentions of disobedience. She could read her grandson like an open book.

But he needn't worry - Grandma always had been a sound sleeper. The end of the world itself wouldn't even rouse that lady from a catnap. Mom and Dad didn't sleep as heavily, but if he kept quiet enough he should be able to sneak downstairs, gather up his things, and leave without any problems.

The house was silent. Everyone was deeply encumbered by the prompt arrival of sleep, he was sure - save for himself...and for Xing. He could tell by the sound of her breathing – it was too loud and un-rhythmical for her to not be awake. Spend almost your entire life sleeping in the same room as a person, and you tended to pick up on things like that.

"Xing...you up?" He whispered into the darkness, just to make sure. She should come with, too.

"Yeah," came the quiet, bored sounding reply. He couldn't even see her in the inky blackness, and their beds weren't five feet apart from each other. He hesitated, pondering and keeping his idea to himself for a brief moment. Did he really want to disobey his parents? He'd done so on occasion, but never before had they done something as deliberate and forbidden as sneaking out in the dead of night.

Well it was going to happen eventually, he figured. And it's not like we're going to be doing anything dangerous...

"Get dressed," he told Xing. "We're going stargazing." There was a muffled squeal of happiness, accompanied by the rustling of covers as his sister threw hers to the floor and the creak of bed springs as she leapt to her feet.

"Who needs to get dressed?" She whispered excitedly. "Let's go right now! Well wait..."

"What?"

"We're not going to get our souls sucked out…are we, brother?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The telescope was heavy, but with the two of them carrying it the task was much easier. Together they picked their way over the familiar path with ease, taking care not to jostle the item in their hands to often or too much.

I never would've been able carry, let alone lift this thing by myself! I'm lucky to have Xing helping me…she'd only come along after he'd promised he would protect her from the souls of the damned, though, obviously. Bolin couldn't help but smile, remembering when Grandma's strange words and ways used to take him in, too.

He had carefully stowed the Satake in its portable case, as to not damage the lens or scratch the painted metal. Bolin had a grip on one end, and Xing on the other. The little girl led the way, being able to find their favorite stargazing spot even in the dark. Her thin nightgown was flapping gently in the breeze - despite his protestations, she had stubbornly refused to dress in anything else. As to why, he had no clue. The only things Xing had donned in addition to her nightgown was the customary headband to keep her bangs out of her face, and her favorite pair of sandals…and even those he'd had to persuade her to wear.

I really don't understand her, sometimes.

Bolin himself had thrown on the same pair of jeans and the same white shirt he'd had worn earlier. The boy, at least, had enough common sense to clothe as their little midnight adventure required.

It was a beautiful night to stargaze. He lifted his face to the heavens, taking in each and every inch of the twinkling sky. The moon was almost full, and it bathed everything in a clean, soft and silvery light. It was lovely. There was not a single cloud in sight.

They didn't live near any big cities. Bolin had been to some with Dad, like Beijing and Hong Kong, but he hadn't really liked how the sky looked from the midst of their depths. All the manmade light hid the stars under a veil of engineered illumination. But out here in the country, each and every star was able to shine as brightly as it wanted.

"We're here!" Xing cried, almost dropping the telescope – but remembering to set it down gently just in time - and racing down the grassy, rock studded slope to their shared most favorite place in the entire world. Bolin caught the telescope before it slid down the hill, staggering with the weight and strain it placed on his shoulders and arms.

…and legs! He adjusted slightly so his feet didn't slip out from underneath him on the long grass that was slick with late-night dew.

"Be careful!" He called out, both for the treatment of the Satake, and for the wellbeing of his sister. It was like she didn't hear him – she just kept skipping on her merry way. She almost fell a couple of times, but narrowly escaped tumbling just as he had almost done. Bolin didn't take his eyes off of her until he was sure Xing had reached the bottom without casualty.

He then gently and oh-so-carefully managed to lug the heavy case down to the foot of the hill, a few feet away from where the vegetation ended and the lake began. It wasn't a lake, more like a giant pond. But in a child eyes, it could've been anything they wanted it to be - a hideout, a happy memory, a source of entertainment...for the two siblings currently perched on its shore, the expanse of shallow water was all three.

Bolin knelt down to open the case and set up the telescope, Xing sitting beside him, carefully observing the process as if she were going to be tested on its assembly at school the very next day.

"What's this thing do?" she asked with curious vigor, pointing at a knob up by the lens.

"That helps me focus the image I see in the eyepiece," Bolin answered patiently as he adjusted the stand.

"There!" he finished tweaking the last few things needed to make the telescope operational. He looked into the eyepiece, and was taken aback. They look so close...he knew he couldn't, but at that moment Bolin felt that if he reached out his hand, even just slightly, he could touch the stars currently being showcased on the inside of the lens.

"What's it look like? Does it work?" Xing was practically shaking with excitement and anticipation. He could tell she was refraining from getting too grabby or impatient.

I should give her a turn before she explodes or something…Bolin drew back and stepped aside to make room for his sister. "Here, Xing - you try."

She had to get up on her tip toes - just slightly - to get a good look at the heavenly sight Bolin had just witnessed.

"Ohhhhhh...,"she breathed in awe. "I'm glad we got you this thing, brother!"

He smiled. "I am, too."

They took turns, trading off with the other until they'd had their fill of the sky. Bolin sat down on a rock - his rock. He always sat here when they came to stargaze. Xing had kicked off her sandals, and waded out into the water until it just covered her ankles. He watched contentedly as she spun around and around, admiring the night's reflection in the clear pond.

We should be going back soon. It was one thirty in the morning by his guesstimate, and about time to be heading home as far as he was concerned. A few more minutes, then we'll pack up and leave.

Because like it or not, the fact of the matter remained that they did have school in the morning. And if there was one thing his parents were convinced he had to do well at, it was his studies. "Work first, play later," was their motto every single night, or whenever he came home complaining of an impossible homework assignment, or received an unsatisfactory grade on a test…and worse, his report card. But still, he knew of other kids at school who had it worse off.

Xing would also be crabby if he didn't get her back to bed eventually.

And she's no fun at all like that!

Suddenly, he heard a gasp. "A shooting star!" He looked up, and saw a white streak pass overhead momentarily, and then it was gone. A shooting star…

From where he was sitting, he could see Xing point to the sky. "Brother, I saw another shooting star!" It was something their father had started – every time they went star gazing together, each one of them combed the sky for a falling pinpoint of light…a shooting star. So far, they were up to ten.

Everything's been so amazing tonight…I wish that it'll stay this way forever…that everyone will always be happy - Grandma, especially.

"Okay, next time you should try making a wish," he told her, opening his eyes. He remembered that it was something Grandma had told him once, before Xing was even born – something that had stuck with him to this very night, despite his current dismissal of most of what the old woman said nowadays. She'd been happier back then, back when Grandpa was still here.

This moment seemed like the right one to share the little tale with his sister. He'd been saving it for the perfect night…and this is it.

"A wish?" she asked, her wonder easily perceivable.

"Mm-hmm," he nodded. "Don't you know what a shooting star is?" His space obsessed mind was telling him that a shooting star wasn't even a star at all – he'd been so disappointed to learn that a shooting star, something so beautiful, was just a meteor burning up as it passed through the Earth's atmosphere. Sometimes he hated the way that science reduced such spectacles to nothing more than cold facts and statistics. But personally – and he's never tell anyone this – he liked Grandma's explanation better. So, he told it to Xing.

"It's a spark that escapes from heaven when God leaves the door open for a minute," he began, remembering each and every word. "That's why they say you should make a wish when you see one…because with the door open God is sure to hear it."

Xing swung around to face him. "Really?" she inquired eyes wide and sparkling, a small smile visible on her lips. "Because I have a lot of wishes I wanna make!" She closed her eyes and clasped her hands, as if praying.

"I wanna be a nurse in a hospital…," Bolin grinned, shaking his head. Of course she's wish for that…Mom was a nurse at the local hospital, and Xing had always wanted to be one since she could talk - she said so every other day. They used to play hospital together – he was the doctor, she was the nurse, and her many stuffed animals (and sometimes even Dad) were the patients.

Xing opened her eyes and threw her arms wide. "…and go into space!" This, she had picked up from him. That was Bolin's wish, his dream. He wanted to be like Neil Armstrong, like Buzz Aldrin - so few people had ever gone to space, if you thought about it. He would've done anything to be one of them.

"Don't waste your time telling me," he told her. "Wish on a shooting star!"

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "That's right…" and she turned back to face the diamond studded sky.

"Let's see," Xing began. "Star light, star bright…" before she could even finish, another streak of light became visible. "Oh! I see one!" Bolin could see her bowed head, but not her arms. They must be clasped, like before.

He was happy that he got to share a story that meant so much to him, and in a way, helped to influence the kind of boy he was let her stay like that for a few minutes, just wishing and wondering. We need to leave now…he eventually decided. Bolin was just about to open his mouth and call out, when another star fell. He looked up in surprise.

Three of them? In one night? The boy had never heard of such a thing, much less actually seen something like it. Then, two more appeared and disappeared soon after. Five! More and more fell, one after the other. It must be a meteor shower!

"Xing, look!" she was still staring at the lake, not witnessing the beautiful shower of stars that was occurring right over their very heads. "Xing!" she didn't move an inch.

"…Xing?" a creeping sense of dread started to fill his stomach. Something's wrong…he didn't know why, or what – Bolin just knew. He leapt to his feet, and ran into the water. His rubber-soled shoes had a weak-grip on the slick stones that covered the bottom, and he had a hard time keeping his balance.

"Xing!" he cried out, both a call and a question. "What's wrong?" Bolin froze. What…what…yes, something definitely was wrong. Bolin scanned the sky, twisting and turning around and around, looking hysterically for what wasn't there. Water began to soak through his shoes, making his socks and the bottoms of his jeans heavy and wet.

It's impossible… "Where…," he said aloud, voice hushed and trembling. "Where's the moon?" No. No. He felt the pace of his heart quicken, his palms begin to sweat. The moon had always been there as a permanent fixture in his life, the same applying to every other human being to ever exist. And now it had simply…vanished. There was no eclipse scheduled for tonight – he would've known if there was. A singular, loud and important thought entered his almost hysteric mind, crying to be heard and heeded by. GO HOME.

It wasn't right, it wasn't natural. He tore his gaze from the now foreign and strange looking sky, and went to grab Xing's shoulder. "Xing, we have too –"

A strange kind of feeling infected his body, then. It felt as if his muscles had seized, and painfully so. He'd felt this way once before when he touched a bare wire that was plugged into the wall. It hadn't been one of his brighter ideas, no, and his hand had felt tingly, stiff and numb for the rest of the day.

This is like that, but worse…his mind was going fuzzy, it was getting harder and harder to form coherent thoughts. He suddenly became aware that he was on his back, the water licking the tips of his ears…but he barely felt it. Xing was still standing on the side.

Help…help me…but he couldn't vocalize his pleas – like his vocal chords had been frozen. All Bolin could do was stare at the black, moonless abyss that was spread over his head like a terrifying canopy. It was the last thing he saw as his vision started to fade, as his mental function started to wander like a small child lost in the woods.

One last thought managed to cross his mind before he blacked out completely. What…what just happened?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Bolin opened his eyes slowly. The first thing he registered was the dampness of his clothes, and then the pale – but somehow, dark at the same time – pre-morning sky. His garments weren't wet, per say, but by the way they uncomfortably dried to his skin he was willing to bet they had been.

Wait...

He struggled to right himself. His legs from the knee down were still in the water - the rest of his body had been laying spread eagle on the shore. His legs and feet were freezing, practically numb. He withdrew his limbs quickly, kicking off his shoes as he did so to let his over-pruned toes and soaked socks dry out.

He looked up at the sky, seeing the stars fade as the sun just barely peeked over the horizon. The stars...and in a flash, Bolin remembered - the missing moon, the meteor shower, and his inexplicable loss of consciousness. That same dreaded feeling took over his muddled, confused feeling brain. His body suddenly felt cold, both on the inside and out - it had nothing to do with the fact he'd just spent the night sleeping in a pond.

Xing!

The last time he saw her, she'd been standing over him as he passed out in the water. He whipped his head around, looking for his sister. A sense of panic manifested in his gut when he didn't see her. Not a single trace of his sibling was visible.

She's not here...we have to get home!

Bolin scrambled to his feet, wincing as sharp little needles of pain stabbed him all over. A dull wedge of discomfort had lodged itself right in-between his eyes. Why do I hurt so much? What happened to me?

Questions, so many questions...but he had no answers for himself. The only thing he could fully comprehend in his mind at that moment were objectives; two of them, to be specific. First, objective number one - find Xing and make sure she's safe. And objective number two - get home to Mom and Dad. Home was safe, he'd find out what had happened there.

Home is safe...home is...safe. The thought managed to spread a certain kind of happy warmth, a content feeling through his body for a brief moment. Safe. Safe meant a moon that was there and people who never fainted without good reason.

He reluctantly pulled the soggy socks onto his feet, shoving them into his sneakers with a very watery sounding squish. They were wet and nasty feeling, but even damp-shoes were better than no-shoes. He couldn't very well go trekking over the surrounding terrain if he had to worry about stepping on rocks.

Then he started up the hill, leaving his Satake behind. It pained him to do so, leaving behind such a treasured item but...

...but Xing is way more important to me than some telescope. He was completely overwhelmed by the events of the previous night. It all felt surreal. He was half convinced everything had been a dream. But if it was a dream, then why was he out here, all alone?

"Mom and Dad will explain what happened," he said aloud, dazed. They always have an answer for everything.

…and so he wandered, looking for a head of black hair as familiar to him as his own, and a little white nightdress." Xing...!" He called out weakly, voice hoarse. "Xing!" He tried to yell louder, but found that he couldn't.

The sun was now half above and below the distant line of small mountains, casting everything in an early morning light that was too cheery for Bolin's mood. It was around the beginning of summer – about the time that day started getting longer and night shorter. Their parents were usually up by now. Mom and dad are probably worried sick...and furious...but honestly, he wouldn't mind getting punished if it meant he could just be with Xing and get a shower.

This is my fault, he realized, suddenly feeling extremely guilty and conscious of the role he played in this scenario. I never should've brought her out here...I never should've disobeyed. It was like one of Grandma's tales come to life – bad things happen to bad children. This little parallel did nothing to lift the burden of worry and contrition from his shoulders.

He quickened his pace to a jog even though it burned like fire, his aching legs protesting loudly every single step of the way. I've got to find her!

He circled the lake at least twice, and climbed up and over the hill, growing more and more frantic with each passing minute. Finally, just as he felt he was going to lose his grip on both resolve and hope, he found her in the midst of a thick copse of evergreen trees just over about a hundred yards from the spot on the shore where he'd woken up.

It's always the last place you check.

"Xing!" he cried, relieved. His little sister was lying on the ground, her hands being used to cushion her head from the carpet of dirt and pine needles. He knelt down beside her prone form, shaking her arm gently as he could manage in his quasi-manic state.

"Wake up!" She wouldn't. Panicked, he felt for a pulse on her neck, just like he'd been taught by both Mom and the instructor who came to his classroom that one day.

She's alive...he breathed a sigh of welcome alleviation. Well, that was one worry to cross off of his rapidly expanding list – he'd found Xing, and she was safe and sound. Granted, he still had many more, but...Now I just need to get her home.

Bolin frowned. I can't carry her all the way back by myself, can I? It was a question for himself – he would if he could, but did the boy possess the physical strength? She wouldn't wake up, no matter what he did, and he didn't have the heart to rouse her anyway. It would have been easier on him with Xing walking on her own, but she just looked so content to doze away the day the way she was. So, carrying his sister home would have to be the way to go.

He slid an arm under her shoulders and the other under the backs of her knees - just as he'd seen Dad do, when she fell asleep on the couch before bed time on some nights. He heaved with all his might until he was standing upright; all of Xing's weight bearing down on his forearms. Struggling, but determined as a mule, he placed one foot in front of the other until he had exited the little group of trees and ascended the slope. He was forced to leave the Satake behind, and for who knew how long?

There's no way I'll be able to carry that heavy thing, too, he thought sadly, stumbling but regaining his footing before he accidentally dumped Xing from his arms. Absolutely no way...I'll just have to come back for it later.

He tightened his grip on his sister, and tarried on. Why won't she wake up? He looked and Xing's sleeping face. She didn't look or feel like she was hurt – nothing like that. No blood either, which was definitely a good sign. Maybe she was hurting on the inside. Now that was a thought that scared him. Bolin quickened his pace two times over because of that horrible speculation, praying he didn't fall or twist his ankle. If that occurred, what would they do then?

Maybe she knows what happened...she must've been the one to pull me out of the water! he realized, feeling a another rush of gratitude for the presence of his sister. He could've very well died last night, had she not been there.

"I'll keep you safe," he promised, even though she couldn't hear him in her current state. "…always."

To be continued, next chapter...

(A/N) This is my first Darker than BLACK story…I hope it's okay ;D I love DTB to pieces, but if there's one flaw that wondrous anime has is lack of back story :( There was sooo much potential to delve deeper into the character's psyches, what happened to them that made them who they are. They did it a little in the anime but…not enough for my tastes, anyway! So this is supposed to be my version of how Hei got so crazy-sexy-awesome.

I had to decide on a name for him…does Bolin sound appropriate? I wanted to find one that had "Li" in it…and Bolin kinda does :P I drew heavily on episode 12, in case you hadn't noticed XD That one flashback/nightmare sequence he had was a big inspiration (yes, I added a little bit). I got the impression Hei was like a mini-Li as a kid (didn't you?) But I felt that there were some blank spots to be filled…how did they get that telescope? :/ Why were they outside alone? :O And what happened after Xing became a contractor? D: (Xing is her real name by the way, I checked) this particular chapter was set ten years before the start of the series, FYI :)

I totally listened to sad piano music while writing this :D

Things you may need to know:

I did some research (on how the Chinese celebrate birthdays – i.e., are they important, do they get presents, etc.) and discovered that twelve is an important birthday. That's why he got a mondo-expensive gift :}

Typically, a Chinese family lives in a multi-generational household - hence, the presence of their grandmother (although this has recently begun to change) :P

Renminbi are the Chinese currency. It's symbol is ¥, something I learned while writing this. And ¥3,800 renminbi is about equivalent to $600.00 dollars of American currency, just to put that in perspective ^_^ (if I got a six-hundred dollar birthday present, I'd feel a little guilty too! D8 )

Hope you enjoyed :) ~ V.o.t.s.