When Clark woke up the next morning he could have kicked himself. He would have kicked himself, except that would probably be a very, very bad idea right now.
Here's the thing: Clark? Didn't sleepwalk. Not exactly, anyway. His Mom, who had found him eating some truly bizarre concoctions in the kitchen in the middle of the night, called it doze-walking, but even that wasn't exactly right. Because Clark wasn't ever really asleep when it happened, as evidenced by the fact that in the morning he can remember what he had done and why the night before. Well, most of the time, though he still wasn't sure what had led him to searching for sand dollars on eBay. As far as he can tell what happened was, as he was about to fall asleep but before he actually did, he got really strange ideas. This, Clark had been assured, was perfectly normal, even by human standards. But what he did that none one else did – and he was pretty sure this was just a Clark thing, not a Kryptonian thing, since he had never stumbled across Kara trying to come up with names for the Indie-punk-rock band she was going to start at one in the morning – is actually act on these thoughts he had.
Normally, this wasn't a problem. Clark never did anything too outlandish during these nighttime wanderings, which only happened about once a month or so anyway. He never went out any further than the barn, and never did anything to reveal his powers to anyone (Clark didn't count the Jor-El induced sleep-flights, because those were totally different). He had only ever done it at someone else's place once before, when he had been staying the night at Pete's. Pete had been a pretty good sport about the whole thing, especially since Clark had woken him up to try to discuss the possibility of Clark becoming a zookeeper. The things he did weren't even all that embarrassing most of the time, though Lana had given a delighted laugh when she found all those poems he had written –
Clark cut that thought off right there, because he really didn't need to be thinking about Lana right now. Especially since it was Lana and her stupid face-stealing boyfriend's fault Clark was even in this mess in the first place. Because if the stupid Phantom hadn't stolen Clark's life, then Lana never would have left him. And if Lana hadn't of left him, then Clark would have spent last night in his own bed curled up with her, not in a spare room in Lex's mansion feeling incredibly lonely. And if he hadn't been in Lex's mansion feeling lonely, then he would have never gotten the sleep-addled idea to get out of his bed and go snuggle up with Lex.
See, here's the other thing: Clark? Not entirely straight. He wasn't gay; all those years chasing after Lana should serve as proof of that. Not to mention, his admittedly sporadic acknowledgment Chloe's attractiveness and how distracting some of those "undercover" outfits that Lois wore were. It's just, well sometimes Oliver would wander around without a shirt on, and that was pretty distracting too. Not that Clark was interested in Oliver like that, but the man had nice abs. And, though Clark tended to play it a bit closer to the chest when he saw a hot guy because Kansas, Oliver was far from the only person sporting a Y-chromosome that had caught Clark's eye.
But while eye-candy was nice, Clark was a serial monogamist at heart. And, much like Lana was the only girl he had ever been truly in love with, there was only one guy that Clark had, well maybe not been in love with, but close. But in true Clark fashion – not even he could deny that he was something of an oblivious bungler when it came to romantic relationships – he hadn't realized what it was he had been feeling until way after he had already burned all those bridges. Or at least, so he had thought until last night when in a fit of… of God knows what really, he had gone to the mansion to complain about Lana dumping him and had found Lex to be surprisingly… nice.
Which brought him back to here, waking up in Lex Luthor's bed. Lex Luthor, who was one the few people who Clark had ever seriously, if subconsciously in this case, allowed to get close to his heart, who didn't actually hate Clark, and who was apparently a cuddler. Really, it was hard to say which of those were more surprising.
Still, as much as Clark might want to sit here and enjoy the cuddling while Lex was too unconscious to object – and wow, did that sound bad – he needed to go. Clark had way too much to try to figure out about what was going on with him and Lex right now to add this situation on top of it. No, the best option would be to sneak out of bed here and back into the guest room he had been staying in. Then Clark could privately freak out about waking up in bed with Lex, and, once he had gotten past that, he could work out what he had said to Lex last night, how Lex had responded, and what that ultimately meant for Clark's secret. Though at this point it wasn't a secret so much as a truckload of them tangled up together in one massive Gordian knot.
Clark started to shift up and away when Lex responded in a completely unexpected way. Lex, still asleep, grabbed Clark and pulled him in closer, actually throwing one of his legs over Clark, as though to make absolutely sure his bed partner wasn't about to leave. And that position put Clark in contact with a portion of Lex's anatomy that he hadn't been previously and, holy crap, Lex really liked cuddling didn't he?
Clark took a few calming breaths. Really, this was no big deal. Lex was a guy, so his… condition was perfectly normal first thing in the morning. Sure, Lex also had a death grip on Clark that was making it clear that Clark wasn't going to be able to get out of here without Lex waking up after all, but that probably had a perfectly logical explanation too. Lex was asleep, after all, so for all he knew Clark was one of his wives, like Helen or Lana. Yeah, that was it, Lana. Clark had been lonely and missing Lana as he fell asleep last night and so he came and climbed in bed with Lex, and Lex had also been lonely and missing Lana, so when Clark had joined him, Lex had just unconsciously assumed he was Lana and curled up around "her." All perfectly normal and no reason for anyone to freak out and get angry and start yelling and being the horrible person that really made Clark miss his best friend again. And that's just what Clark would tell Lex when he woke up. Because, really, this was no big deal.
Having talked himself down, Clark glanced back at Lex again. But instead of a peacefully sleeping Lex cuddled up against him, Clark was greeted with the sight of two wide-open slate blue eyes and a sardonically raised eyebrow. "Good morning, Clark."
Clark was so screwed.