A/N: Hey guys! This is a songfic to Ed Sheeran's piece "Thinking Out Loud". It revolves around the relationship between Erza and Jellal, and takes place at the end of the Oracion Seis arc. I haven't seen anything after that in the series, and spoilers if you haven't seen it. I hope you enjoy it, and please review!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or this song by Ed Sheeran. I don't claim any rights they already have.
I just recently learned that it's a violation to put song lyrics in fanfics, so I took them out of this piece. Just know that if you do look up the lyrics, each line break in this story would be the end of one verse, so it lines up nicely. Enjoy.
Jellal looked at her when she wasn't looking back. He felt so weak at the moment, so depleted of magic energy. He was just glad the Oración Seis were gone. Now he had time to think about more personal things, while the group collected its thoughts before deciding to leave.
Erza was so beautiful. And so strong. He couldn't imagine her ever being old and weak, and knew it would never happen. She wouldn't let it, she was so stubborn.
He knew she felt conflicted about him. And he knew he had done horrible things. But he couldn't remember them. His memories were returning so slowly, and he couldn't count on them ever being whole again.
So he would rely on her memories. She was the only thing he remembered when he first woke up, and they had known each other in childhood. She would have to use her memories to show him the way again, if she accepted him.
He loved her. How she could love him back he didn't know, but he hoped with all his being that she did. As he watched her she walked over to him, facing him.
"I wanted to thank you." She said. "Obviously we couldn't have done this without you."
"Erza, that's not true." He looked down. "I didn't do anything worthy of such praise. Not at all."
She moved to lean against the rocky wall beside him, looking at him. "So tell me. What will you do now?"
"Good question. I wish I knew."
"That's alright. I'm sure you're not the only one in that position. Who knows what tomorrow has in store." She was speaking so kindly to him.
His arms tightened around him, slightly. "I'm afraid."
"Of what?"
"My memory. Of it returning."
"Don't be." She said softly. "It won't change anything." He looked up, shocked, and saw her smiling slightly. "Even if we were to become enemies again, it wouldn't change the fact that I care about you."
"You do?" he asked, still looking at her face.
She looked down, some hair falling to slightly cover her face. Her voice was gentle. "More than you know."
She had said it. She cared for him. And she looked happy. Still guarded, but happy.
He felt some strength return to him, because of that simple statement that meant so much. Then everything stopped.
They called themselves the Rune Knights, the people who trapped the wizards. They demanded the arrest of Hoteye, who surrendered willingly. And then they demanded that Jellal come with them too.
He watched Erza's expression close as she stepped forward, standing just behind Natsu. He looked at her and started walking forward, towards Lahar. He had to accept punishment for what he had done, as Erza had told him earlier that day. Even if he didn't remember it, he was still stained by it.
He heard Wendy try to explain that he had changed, but kept walking. Erza stayed silent. That was how he knew he was doing the right thing.
He didn't see how much pain she was in as he walked away, the conflict she was going through in her mind. But Natsu did, and he reacted as he usually did: with action.
"You're not taking him!" he cried as he raced past Jellal, fire coming to his fists. "He's one of us! And that means he stays with us!" Jellal stopped, confused, and watched as Gray and Lucy ran forward as well, ready to fight for him. Even Wendy, Jura, and Ichio started to fight.
The soldiers rushed forward to meet them, prepared to fight. Jellal looked back at Erza and saw her shaking, her fists tight. "That's enough! Stop this at once!" she yelled.
The fighting stopped as her friends stared back at her, incredulous.
"I'm the one responsible for this disturbance." She looked at Lahar. "Now please, take him away."
Jellal walked forward again, the two steps he had left to reach Lahar, and stood in front of him. He held out his hands in surrender.
As his hands were locked behind him he looked back at Erza. If she thought this was the right thing to do, he knew it was. He would follow her example the rest of his life, as he tried to dissociate himself from his past deeds. That was one thing he hoped people wouldn't remember.
Even if they forgot his name, it would be better than being remembered for horrors he didn't have any recollection of committing.
But for now he had to accept his punishment. He just had to hope he would see Erza again.
As he looked at her before being completely detained, a memory surfaced in his mind.
"I remember." He said. "Scarlet. It was the color of your hair."
She blinked and opened her mouth. He saw her eyes widen as she remembered what he had just remembered, back when they were children.
She closed her mouth and nodded, still looking shocked. Her eyes locked with his for an instant, and he saw wonders in that gaze. It was the last glimpse he had of her before he was pushed into the vehicle that would take him away.
It told him he wouldn't be forgotten anytime soon.
He kept thinking of that smile as the vehicle started to leave, as he left Erza and the others behind. The little girl he had seen in the memory he'd just recovered had grown into a beautiful woman, full of confidence and spirit.
He hoped some of that spirit would be in him now, allowing him to face whatever lay waiting for him with strength.
Please, he thought. Erza, please forgive me.
He wasn't perfect. He never would be. But he believed the worst was behind him, and that the little mistakes he made now would be just that: little mistakes, easily fixed.
Things that she would understand, if he did do them.
Though he planned on there being few of them.
He imagined a reunion between them. He knew it was impossible. He was to be imprisoned for life, at best. But he could dream.
He pictured picking her up at sunset, and walking her to a hill. They sat on the familiar green grass and stared up at the sky, watching as the sun dipped below the horizon.
He marveled at her beauty, and how she looked back at him with emotion he didn't think himself lucky enough to have earned, but was so happy to have. He hoped she saw it in his face too, that feeling.
They leaned back after the sun was gone, lying on their backs on the rapidly cooling grass. She snuggled in close to him, and he wrapped his arms around her. Then she placed her head on his chest.
They stayed like that for some time, talking until the sky was black and dotted with wonderful little stars.
Then they stood up and started walking back home, holding hands for a moment.
And, just before they got there, she stopped him and looked into his eyes.
And she kissed him.
Erza ran after they took him away. No one tried to stop her, which she was grateful for. Maybe they didn't even see her go.
She leaned against the rock and pulled her knees close to her. Then she allowed herself to cry. She sobbed desperately, letting all of her grief be expressed. She said his name a few times, reliving everything.
She was so lost in it that it took her a long time to look up again. So long that she almost missed the sunrise.
Almost.
She saw it just before it faded, and wondered if Jellal could see how beautiful it was from wherever he was. She hoped he could. It was golden and bright. And scarlet.
She didn't know why she hadn't fought for him. She knew she would feel loss whether she decided to fight or not, but now she imagined that if she had fought, it might not be this bad.
She loved him. She had loved him since they were children, and even after his actions at the Tower of Heaven, she had hoped the boy she knew was still inside him. Now she knew he was.
She watched the morning come alone, sitting in that same spot away from her friends. She would return to them soon enough. But she decided that she would defend Jellal if she could. She would fight for his freedom. And she would make Makarov fight with her, once they got back to Fairy Tail.
She closed her eyes and leaned back, picturing him in her mind. Every time they got close, something separated them.
She would save him.
She would get him back, and she wouldn't lose him again.
She opened her eyes and glared into the soft morning light, daring something to oppose her as she thought about him.
"Jellal." She whispered once her tears started falling more slowly.