Chapter 1

Free Falling

Alois sat there completely motionless; emotionless. His gaze was cast away from the other, knees hugged tightly as he watched the sheets of his bed, as if something were to pop out of them at any moment. Of course, this could never happen, since such a thing was utterly impossible.

The room was dim and depressing; moonlight being the only form of illumination in the darkness. Pale light created an ominous glow, which coated the blond's face, thus making him look even more depressing. The two were in Alois' bedroom—for no apparent reason, if I might add— doing absolutely nothing. Such silence was unsettling, even when Alois was such a talkative person. Alois lives up to his notorious reputation, which is being unexpected. Not even the other male in the room understood what his problem was. Well, then again, said male isn't very good at reading other's body language, let alone reading the atmosphere.

Alois usually tended to try not to act so weakly in front of this person. This would have been the first time, and quite frankly, he didn't like it one bit. The words weak, useless, and pathetic swarmed around in his head like annoying little flies; pestering and never ceasing. Why he thought these thoughts, he didn't know. If he did, Lord knew that he wouldn't be the way he was. Maybe he was in denial? Alois didn't believe he was in need of help; his pride took good care of such a thing. Nevertheless, he did think this way. Claude helped, even if Alois knew that his love was only make-believe, and that he was imagining all of these things. Again, denial took care of such things.

"Do you intend on keeping me here, waiting for you to speak all night?" The slightly feminine voice spoke out, causing Alois to stir only slightly. "I don't have time to just stand here, you know." Silence. "Fine. Don't speak. I'll be taking my leave then," With that, the male turned on his heel, and started to walk away. Suddenly, Alois reached and grabbed his wrist, restraining him from leaving.

"So you wish to hold me captive here?" The male, formally known as Earl Ciel Phantomhive, spoke.
Alois whimpered in response.

"I suppose I have no choice but to stay here with you," He began, finishing his sentence with a mumble. "Even if I relish the idea." Reluctantly, the contracted boy sat on the bed, coat in the process of being removed.

Alois wasn't surprised in the slightest that he decided to stay. The blue-eyed boy had no choice, after all. Alois could force him to stay with him, even in his dark state. Although, the fact that he even had the audacity to stay with him amazed the blond. How could he give in so easily? This wasn't like Ciel at all, and Alois was able to notice this quickly. Even his demeanor seemed slightly off balance, as if he were going to fall at any giving moment. Or maybe as if he was going to break at any moment. With a deep sigh, the blond lifted his head to gaze at the other. One would view Alois as the kind of person to always try to take care of himself, which is to look presentable and high quality. In this case, however, he looked absolutely atrocious.

The dark circles under his eyes indicated that he hadn't been getting much rest, and the abnormally pale skin he had was enough to send chills down one's spine. Blond, usually well-groomed hair was messy and parted in every which way. Alois was a rather slender child, and everyone knew that, but as of this moment he looked a bit too slender. Usually large, ice blue eyes looked sullen, somber, and lifeless. His breathing was shallow, almost as if he was trying to stop it entirely.

Ciel couldn't help but notice this. How could the brat let himself go so easily? If he were his usual self, the blond would have tried to make advances on him, since they were in his bedroom anyway. The fact that his gaze looked so lifeless and dull actually worried Ciel, and he couldn't think of a possible thing to respond with.

Alois exhaled deeply before speaking. "You understand… Don't you?" His words were hushed, barely above a whisper. Though, Ciel had no problem hearing him since the whole Trancy Estate was as quiet as any summer evening.

"Understand what exactly?" Ciel replied, the usual uptight attitude in his voice upheld.

"Why I am so."

"I cannot say that I do,"

Actually, Ciel had been in the manor for a few days now. When Alois was feeling more upbeat, he had actually kidnapped the little earl for personal enjoyment. He was expecting that demon butler of his to come and rescue him, though when no one came, he sort of got bored with him and left him to do whatever. Recently, however, Alois had become so distant. It had gotten so bad that Ciel forced himself to check up on him, to find him where he was.

"Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to pry such an answer out of you, Trancy?" Ciel was clearly in no mood for games; neither was Alois. "No, that won't… Be necessary." He managed to choke out.

"Why do you despise me, Ciel?" Alois asked this so suddenly that it started Ciel to the point of him almost falling off of the plush bed. "Despise? I do not despise you. Though, you can get on my wits end at times." This was true. Ciel, no matter how many hurtful words he spat out at the Trancy earl, he didn't mean them. In fact, more than anything, he felt sorry for the boy. What had happened to him was awful at best.

"I know you do." Alois replied.

"Do not."

"You do."

Ciel only sighed deeply in response. He could tell why he thought such a thing. Ciel was the kind of person to say such hurtful sayings, only to realize what he had said after a long period of time. "Let me change the subject," Ciel began annoyance evident in his words.

"No. I want you to listen." Alois' voice had gotten louder and more force was added to it. Since his words were a mere whisper before, however, they were now well above a whisper to a normal sounding voice.

"I suppose that is only fair. Speak… But make it quick! I'm about to retire for the evening." Alois nodded softly before sitting up straighter, his rib cage clearly visible through his white night shirt. "I feel sad. Why… Why do I always feel so sad? I-It just comes out of nowhere and… and I don't know how to deal with it. That bastard Claude doesn't care! That bitch doesn't comfort me. Hell, I don't even know where she's been as of late!" His voice rose so fast, but Ciel remained calm and listened to him. "I… I just feel so alone. Ciel… Why do you despise me, yet when I've done such a thing as kidnap you, you stay? Why do you stay with me? Why do you stay here to listen to me?"

Ciel was utterly amused and intrigued by Alois' ramblings. He would call them useless, but they weren't. They were raw spats of sheer emotion that had been bottled up for God knows how long.

"Ciel, why do you despise me when I care for you?"

That threw him completely off guard. Of course, he knew that the blond Trancy boy had an unsettling infatuation with him, which usually ended up in provocative advances toward him. But for once, Alois was acting sweet. Why was he sweet all of a sudden?

"Why do you cast me away like a mere dog?" Alois' gaze was cast back down at the sheets; emotionless as before. "Say something! Say something, damn it!" Tears were in the poor boys eyes now, even a bit of mucus receding out of his left nostril.

Ciel was frozen; completely and utterly frozen. He didn't know what to say, and as a result of this, he didn't say anything.

Suddenly, Alois' hand shot up and quickly was smacked across Ciel's face. Ciel's hand gingerly went to cup his cheek, a solemn expression worn as he stared directly at Alois. Alois was sobbing now; hard. Sniffling occasionally, Alois slumped out of bed and over to the balcony. His crying face looked sadistic, just as he was. It looked like he was going insane, and Ciel couldn't blame him for doing so.

Solemnly, Ciel watched as Alois walked over to the balcony, he being bathed in silvery moonlight.

"DO YOU SEE NOW, CIEL?!" Alois yelled from the balcony, getting onto the railing. Ciel quickly shot up and reached a hand out to Alois, as if he could save him by doing such a meaningless task. "Alois don't do that! You could fall, you idiot!" Ciel ran toward the balcony.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!" Time went to a stand-still as Alois let himself fall backward.