Willow smiled to herself as she looked at the tiny piece of paper in front of her with Tara's name scribbled on it. It was the piece of paper she had pulled out of the hat last week when the Scooby Gang had their annual Secret Santa drawing at Giles' house. Pulling Tara's name had been both exciting and nerve-wracking for Willow. Tara was the person she wanted to get a gift for the most out of all her friends. They had been close friends for about six months now, and in those six months Willow had developed feelings for the blonde. Feelings that friends didn't have for other friends. Romantic feelings. She was worried about ruining their friendship so she had kept quiet about it for as long as possible, but this opportunity was too good to pass up. If she could get a Secret Santa gift for Tara that conveyed her true feelings then maybe, just maybe, she could win her over.
Ever since Willow had drawn that piece of paper, her thoughts had been primarily consumed with gift giving ideas. Her gift to Tara had to be absolutely perfect. Typically she would go to Buffy for advice on this sort of thing, but since it was for the Secret Santa and Buffy wasn't exactly great at keeping secrets, she had to figure this one out on her own. The previous night, Willow had finally thought up a great idea. It was cute and romantic, but she was nervous about it. She knew she had to do it though or she'd regret it. Today was solely dedicated to putting together Tara's gift.
In the short time she and Tara had known each other, Willow had managed to snap quite a few photos of the two of them spending time together. Once she had realized her true feelings for her friend, the amount of photos taken had increased. She knew Buffy and Xander had some pictures of them on their cameras as well.
She whipped out her iPhone and typed up a quick text to send to both her friends, asking them to email her the photos they might have of her and Tara. They didn't need to know it was for a Secret Santa gift. While waiting for a response, Willow started rifling through her own photos. They were all neatly arranged on her computer. Usually photos on Willow's computer were arranged by event, but two months ago she had started a folder just for photos of her and Tara together. She couldn't help but smile as she clicked through each one, especially the ones from the start of their friendship. Her favorite one was from the hayride they'd gone on back in early October. Tara had been wearing a plaid shirt and a cowboy hat that made her look even more adorable than usual. When they had posed for a photo together Tara had leaned in close and given Willow one of those side hugs. The redhead still remembered how wonderful it felt to have Tara's arms around her for those few seconds. She chose that photo and nineteen others that she saved in a folder entitled "Secret Santa."
After she finished choosing from her own collection of photos, she opened up her email to see if Buffy or Xander had sent her anything. She was delighted to see that each of them had sent her about ten pictures. She clicked through them quickly, happy with the quality of all of them and added those to the Secret Santa folder as well. Then she got to work making a slideshow out of them. She carefully ordered the photos chronologically so it showed the evolution of their relationship. When she had the photos in the exact right order she played the slideshow back, watching with a wistful smile on her face. She didn't know what she was going to do with herself if Tara rejected her. Willow wanted to be with Tara more than anything in the world, and she really hoped she would be able to win her over.
The redhead put her computer to sleep for a few moments and took out her notebook. This notebook was where she had been keeping all of her feelings for Tara. Not a single soul knew about the way she felt except for her and this notebook. She leafed through the pages until she found a blank one. She knew trying to find the right words to express herself to Tara would take time, but that's why she had dedicated today to putting this gift together.
Two hours later, Willow felt she had finally strung all the right words together in the right order. She had gone through sheets and sheets of paper trying to get it exactly right. The final draft consumed a half a page in Willow's neat handwriting.
Tara, getting to know you these past few months has been amazing. You're a wonderful person and I love every second I get to spend with you. I love how I can talk to you about anything and you're there to listen. I love how we can laugh together. I love how we can sit in silence together and it's not awkward or uncomfortable. More than anything I love the way you make me feel. Every time I see you I get all warm and fuzzy inside. Butterflies swarm around in my stomach when I think about you. The days I don't get to see you aren't as good as the days when I do see you. I'm falling for you, Tara Maclay, and you're all I want for Christmas this year.
Willow read through it over ten times before she was certain that it was exactly what she wanted to say. Then she woke her computer up from sleep mode and entered her words as text overlay for the slideshow. It didn't start until about six or seven photos in, and then she made all of the words fit perfectly so it lasted until the final photo. She could feel her nerves start to go haywire the closer she got to finishing this project. It was terrifying for her to put herself out there like this, but it was worth it if it meant she got a chance to be with Tara.
"One final touch now," she said to herself as she clicked the button to add audio. Quickly, she scrolled down to the mp3 file of All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey and double-clicked it. She adjusted the time for each photo on the slideshow to ten seconds so it fit exactly right with the length of the song, and also so Tara would have time to read the text.
Willow sighed happily as she watched her final product. She had put as much thought and feeling into it as possible and now she just had to wait…
By the time the Christmas party rolled around, Willow was a nervous wreck. She was so anxious for Tara to receive her gift and watch the video that she couldn't even really enjoy herself at the party. She was quiet around Buffy, Xander, and the rest of the gang because her thoughts were otherwise occupied. She tried to be natural and at ease with Tara, but it was really difficult when she couldn't stop thinking about how she was going to react to the gift.
"Is everything okay, Willow?" Tara asked when she noticed how uptight Willow seemed to be. Something seemed a little off.
Willow quickly nodded her head.
"Everything's great!" She squeaked out before changing the subject. "This eggnog is really good, don't you think?"
Tara simply gave her an endearing smiled and nodded.
"Alright, everyone, let's settle down," Giles voice was suddenly booming over everyone else's about an hour into the party. "It's time for the gift exchange."
Once everyone was sitting down, gathered around the Christmas tree, Giles began passing the gifts out according to the tags attached to them. Willow almost had a heart attack when she saw her little red bag resting on Tara's lap. It would be a miracle if she made it through this evening in one piece.
"Okay, everyone can open their gifts now," Giles announced once everyone had a present in hand.
Buffy squealed with delight when she found an adorable pink sweater in her box, which was surprisingly from Giles. Xander smiled when he unwrapped a mini toolbox from Dawn. Anya nodded approvingly when she opened a wallet from Buffy. Giles grinned when he received a new tie from Xander. Dawn bounced up and down happily when she saw the locket Tara bought her. Willow almost spit out her eggnog when she pulled her gift from Anya out of the bag, a vibrator, which she quickly dropped back in. Tara quietly pulled the CD case out of her bag, but wasn't too sure what to think of it. It had no cover. She had no clue what it was. It was from Willow though, so she knew it had to be great.
"What's that?" Buffy asked curiously, catching a glimpse of what Tara was holding in her hands.
"Uh, it's a disc. From Willow," Tara answered shyly.
"What's on it?"
"I'm not really sure," Tara admitted.
"Well let's put it in!" Buffy exclaimed.
Willow's eyes widened and her heart started pounding furiously. Tara noticed the redhead's apprehension and shook her head.
"No, that's okay. I'll just check it out when I get home. It's getting pretty late anyway. I should go. Thank you everyone for the great party, and thank you Willow for the gift."
Tara made her way around the group giving everyone hugs and personal goodbyes before leaving. Willow's heart sank when Tara left, but then when she realized Tara would be watching the video when she got home she went into full on panic mode. She was finally going to see it and know exactly how Willow felt about her.
"You know, I think I should go too," Willow said suddenly to the surprise of everyone.
Willow was the type who always stuck around these things until the very end and helped clean up. It seemed a little weird for her to be leaving already, but everyone just figured she probably wasn't feeling well and let it slide.
The whole way home Willow kept wondering if Tara had seen the video yet. She wondered if Tara would call her after she saw it. Or maybe she'd just pretend like she'd never seen it and their friendship would remain unchanged. The redhead just sat on her bed thinking of all the possible outcomes for about twenty minutes when there was a gentle knock on the front door. She furrowed her brow, confused as to why someone was coming to see her at midnight.
Her heart started pounding furiously when she opened the door to reveal Tara. She was still in her holiday dress from the party and she still looked stunning as always.
"Tara," she said softly. "Hi. Come in, come in."
The blonde stepped inside and stood awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to do or say. As shy as she was, she had never been good with these types of situations. She had so many things she wanted to say that she didn't even know where to begin.
"I watched the video," she finally spoke. "It was beautiful, Willow. I didn't even remember half of those photos being taken. I loved it."
Willow forced a smile, her heart sinking when Tara hadn't mentioned any of the text or the song.
"Well, I'm glad you liked it. I, uh, spent a lot of time on it."
"Wait, I wasn't finished. Your words… I had no idea you felt that way about me… I wish I'd known sooner. I've been trying to hide my feelings for you for months. I fell for you the first time I laid eyes on you. I love everything about you, Will. That video had me crying by the end of it. I never thought in a million years you would reciprocate those feelings, and here we were both trying to hide it," she said with a small giggle. "You were so brave to express yourself like that, and I'm so glad you did because you're all I want for Christmas too, Willow."
Willow's face brightened, unable to believe things had really gone over this smoothly. She wanted Tara and Tara wanted her back. Tara actually wanted her back. She had hoped this would happen, but deep down she never really thought it would. It all felt like it was straight out of a movie. Willow almost wanted to pinch herself to make sure it wasn't just a dream.
Without giving it another thought, she wrapped her arms around Tara's neck and pressed their lips together firmly. She slowly let her tongue run across Tara's bottom lip until the blonde accepted it. Their tongues tangled together fiercely until air became necessary. Tara leaned her forehead against Willow's and smiled lazily as she brushed a stray strand of red hair to the side.
"Mmm, that was like magic," she said softly, looking directly into the emerald green eyes across from her. "Never in a million years did I expect a girl like you to want me."
"Tara, don't say that. Every girl in the world should be trying to win you over. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met. Except I don't really want all the girls to try and be all romantic with you and stuff. That's my job now, right?" The redhead ended her babble with a bit of uncertainty in her voice.
Tara took her thumb and stroked Willow's cheek lovingly to calm her down.
"Yes, that's your job now, Will. You're the only girl I want or need. You don't have to worry about anyone else coming into the picture. I only want you, sweetie."
Willow's heart did a little flip-flop when Tara called her sweetie. She could definitely get used to that. She glanced up at the clock and saw it was nearing one in the morning.
"Hey, it's getting late. You wanna stay the night?" Willow asked, chewing on her lip nervously. She didn't want Tara to think she was being too forward by already asking her to stay over. "You can sleep on the couch if you want! Or no wait, I can sleep on the couch and you can have my bed."
Tara smiled fondly at her new girlfriend when she noticed her brain going into overdrive. She could practically hear those little gears grinding inside her pretty little head. She lightly pressed her finger to the redhead's lips to stop her babble for a moment.
Willow giggled and softly kissed Tara's finger.
"Willow, neither of us needs to sleep on the couch. Doesn't it sound like a better idea if we snuggle up together in your bed? We can keep each other warm."
Willow nodded and pulled Tara into a warm hug. She just wanted to stand there holding her close forever. She still found it hard to believe that she could call Tara hers.
"Will, honey, in order for us to snuggle up in bed you kinda have to let go of me so we can get ready for bed," Tara told her after several minutes of hugging.
"Oh right, right. Do you need any clothes to wear? I'll try and find you something comfy. Oh and the bathroom's right upstairs, first door on the right. There should be an extra toothbrush in the drawer under the sink. What else do you need?"
"I think you've got all our bases covered, Will. And if I need anything else I'm sure you'll think of it first. Thank you," she said before disappearing upstairs.
Willow went into her room humming All I Want for Christmas is You under her breath as she searched for pajamas that would fit Tara. She decided on a pair of baggy sweatpants and a roomy t-shirt before going upstairs and gently knocking on the bathroom door. She was unable to stop the smile that came to her face when Tara opened it. She didn't know if she'd ever get used to seeing the blonde and thinking, Hey that's my girlfriend without getting a big goofy smile on her face. Willow held the pajamas out and Tara accepted them graciously.
"Thanks, hon," she said, leaning forward to place a kiss on the redhead's cheek. "I'll meet you in your room when I'm all done in here."
Willow sighed happily as she made her way back down to her room. She quickly changed into her pajamas before double-checking that everything was neatly in its place. She didn't want Tara thinking she was a slob or anything. As she reorganized the things on her bedside table she felt gentle arms wrap around her waist and a warm, tingly sensation took over her body. Being touched by Tara was magical. She slowly spun around so she was face to face with her girlfriend.
"You look extra cute in my clothes," Willow said with a giggle.
"Well, I think you look cuter in your clothes than I do," Tara told her, feeling her eyelids getting heavy.
"You look sleepy," Willow observed. "We should lay down and get some rest. It's late."
Tara nodded her agreement and pulled out of their hug to climb into bed. Willow climbed into the opposite side of the bed, keeping a fair amount of space between the two of them. She was still worried that Tara would think she was trying to put the moves on her too soon. She didn't want Tara thinking she was that kind of girl because she wasn't. Not at all. The blonde frowned, however, when she saw the space between them.
"Willow, get over here. You expect me to be this close to you and not snuggle up with you?"
Willow blushed for a few moments before wriggling her way into Tara's arms, placing a light kiss on her neck before nestling her head against it.
"Well this is nice," Willow said after a brief silence passed between them. She felt completely at home in Tara's arms.
"Yup, much better than having inches of space between us," she teased.
"So did you have a good Christmas Eve?" Willow asked quietly, closing her eyes as she waited for a response.
"It was the best Christmas Eve with the greatest gift I could have asked for. You."
Even in the dark room, Tara could faintly see Willow's bright smile. Both girls just laid there in silence, allowing those words to sink in as they happily drifted to sleep safe in each other's arms.
