Every year, my school holds a beauty pageant. Our principal says it's always a fun, friendly competition. Friendly? Yeah right. The girls who get through the auditions are complete bitches - including me.
Oh, how I wish I could have been clever instead. I could have taken part in the chess challenge. Or I could have been sporty, and played in a basketball tournament. Sadly, though, what I excelled in was looking good - which happened to be exactly what my best friend, Tea, had going for her, too.
Tea and I both got into the finals of the contest. Our other friends had warned us not to enter - Yugi said friendship was more important. But what did he know?
The week before the big day, we went shopping for our dresses. We went to about a dozen clothes shops before Tea spotted it - the dress.
"My waist is going to look so tiny in this!" she squealed, as she held it up in front of her. She was right, it was perfect for her. My heart pounded in horror. Ever since we were tiny, Tea had beaten me at everything. Yeah I was gorgeous, but she was more gorgeous. Yeah, guys fancied me, but they fancied her more. And now, it looked like she was going to beat me at this, too.
As she ran into the changing room, I waited outside, practising my wow, you look beautiful smile, complete with amazed gasp. Eventually, she pulled back the curtains. Her short brown hair looked stunning against the white material that billowed out from a corset to a long, flowing skirt. If she wore that dress, she would win. There was only one thing for it.
"Hmmm, it's OK," I muttered, frowning. "I mean the bottom bit looks nice..."
"What do you mean?" Tea said, grabbing her boobs. I didn't need to say anything else. She was so paranoid about them - that was the end of the winning outfit.
In the end, Tea got a high-necked red dress that was nowhere near as nice. I picked up a jet-black strapless two-piece that gave me, if I do say so myself, pretty impressive boobs. Plus the skirt was knee length, allowing me to show off the legs I'd been working on with an exercise video for the last six months.
As the night of the pageant drew nearer, though, I started panicking. After all, I wasn't good at sports, or Maths, or - well - being a nice person. Looking gorgeous was all I could do, and I'd worked so hard to beat Tea at that I had to win the beauty contest.
But when the day arrived, Tea turned up backstage and still looked utterly stunning. Even in the red dress. She couldn't help it - she was naturally beautiful. Other friends might have been pleased for her. I hated her for it.
Fortunately, she had no idea, and came straight over with a friendly smile.
"I'm so nervous - are you? It's making me really thirsty," she whispered. I felt like killing her - what did she have to be nervous about?
"I'll get you something to drink," I offered. In the kitchen, I leaned against the sink. Anger surged up inside me. She always won everything. How dare she take this from me as well? I couldn't let it happen. Reaching into my pocket, I started to put my back-up plan into action.
Tea and I made the last two. As we stood on the stage, she turned to me, ghostly pale.
"Kumi, I... I feel weird," she whispered, then ran off the stage. The audience gasped in surprise.
While my best friend was backstage having a fit and drifting into a coma, I calmly informed the judges that Tea had fallen ill and had to pull out of the contest. Finally, I won the prize: I was Domino High School's Beauty Queen 2005!
Sadly, Tea died. It turns out she'd drunk some rat poison that didn't agree with her. Needless to say, my invite to the funeral went out of the window, as I was stuck in a young offenders institute. But what can I say? I did explain I was a bitch.