What Not To Do In Shinra

Jaelawyn Noble [ Love 'em, dun own 'em.
Warnings: crack
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Rating: PG
Pairing: Zack/Cloud
Archive: http://nobelia.envy.nu
Summary: Zack convinces Cloud to be naughty.
Feedback: 'm a whore for it.
Notation: Uhm, yes. This is for Miko. Because I am so not getting a Silver Pair fic out, and Zack and Cloud are poking my brain with their swords… yes… . This is influenced by Skippy's List. And the idea of Zack being naughty to the Turks…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKO!

Zack found Cloud polishing his rifle in the barracks, a fierce look of concentration upon his face. Snickering, Zack stepped into the room and pulled the rifle gently away from the kid.

"Hey! I was—"

"You were staying inside on a perfectly lovely day being absolutely boring," Zack teased, flicking his finger at Cloud and leaving a nice red mark on the boy's forehead.

"Since when is snow nice?" Cloud grumbled. "I grew up in it. There's nothing nice about it."

"Well, I didn't," Zack said, grinning wickedly. "And that means I get to be as much of an idiot with it as I want. Now get your coat on and get out there, soldier! I have a plan, and I need backup for it."

Cloud eyed him as he got up and did as he was bid. "This is going to get us in trouble, isn't it?"

"Oh, I'm always in trouble with someone or other!" Zack said cheerfully, bouncing a little as he waited for Cloud to slowly pull on a thick jacket and a warm pair of boots. "C'mon, c'mon! They're going to leave soon!"

Cloud's blue eyes narrowed, "Who's going to leave soon?"

"The Turks!" Zack cackled. "They hate it because it makes their helicopters run all slow and icky. Which means I can have fun with them."

Cloud stood in the middle of the room, scarf dangling from his fingers as he stared at Zack in shock. "You're more insane then I thought."

"Blame the mako treatments," Zack said impatiently. "Let's go!" Cloud hesitated long enough for Zack to groan in frustration and grab the younger boy, dragging him out of the room and out of the barracks.

"Zack, maybe you should stop and think about this!" Cloud pleaded, trying to reason with his insane friend.

"Nope, sorry, this will be fun, and I'm bored," Zack said.

"Ask the General to give you something to do," Cloud retorted. "You're going to land us both in more trouble than it's worth!"

"Oh, but the look on Reno's face will be perfect. Even better if I can nail Tseng too."

Zack could feel Cloud's muscles relax as the other boy gave in and let himself be dragged up to the landing pad where the Turks kept their helicopters. Zack grinned, letting go of Cloud's arm to scoop up a huge handful of snow, and began packing it into the tightest snowball he could make.

"Make one too, Cloud! I'm going to nail them!" Zack said, grinning maniacally.

"You are going to get us hauled up in front of the General," Cloud sighed.

"Ah, you should be used to it by now."

"I am. I'm your friend, after all."

"Heh, now that's the spirit!" Zack laughed. Cloud sighed as he made the snowball and they skidded to a halt at the edge of the landing field. "Ooh, Tseng's here. And even better, the brat's here too!"

"What do you have against Reno?" Cloud asked grumpily, still patting his snowball down. "Besides, they're about to take off."

"Nothing. I just think he's too much of a pretty boy," Zack said, an evil grin on his face, ignoring the last half of Cloud's statement.

Cloud looked at Zack in disbelief. "I'm glad I'm allergic to mako. It makes people insane."

Zack laughed, "Oh, Strife, didn't you know? I was crazy before they gave me the mako! It just gave me more ways to be even more insane!"

"I'm never going near you when you have Materia," Cloud sighed.

"Right, well then," Zack cackled, cracking his neck. "Shall we attack?"

"You're mad!" Cloud yelped, watching Zack flash him a wicked grin and take off running. "No, I'm even more insane for letting him drag me into these messes," Cloud sighed, taking off after his friend.

Zack had run so that he had a perfect angle to throw his snowball at the helicopter. Cloud watched in growing horror as the SOLDIER wound back and hurled the snowball directly at the helicopter. The snowball connected with the helicopter with force, knocking it off it's course minutely, and audibly cracking the windshield.

"Holy…" Zack stared, starting to laugh like a lunatic. "That's fucking awesome!"

"You are so dead," Cloud whispered, staring in shock as a redhead jumped out of the helicopter and landed not that far from them.

"GODDAMMIT, ZACK!" Reno shouted, standing up. "What the fuck did you do that for, yo?"

Zack laughed and grabbed Cloud, "Run!"

"Oy, Zack!" Reno shouted, giving chase. "Boss is going to hear about this, yo!"

"Tell that to Sephiroth!" Zack laughed, literally carrying Cloud away. "Nya-haha!"

"You're dead, yo!" Reno called after them, giving up the chase.

Zack continued to laugh, running for all he was worth, Cloud clinging for life to his arm and chest. Zack stopped when they were far enough away to be declared safe, collapsing in one of the snow drifts in a dark corner of the base, clutching Cloud to his chest.

"That was awesome," Zack laughed.

"You're insane," Cloud said, voice muffled in Zack's jacket.

"Aw, you love my insanity," Zack laughed breathlessly, ruffling Cloud's hair.

"Sometimes I wonder why," Cloud muttered, shifting so he could breathe instead of having a mouthful of Zack's jacket.

"Heh," Zack snickered, relaxing against the snow. "I keep things interesting, and you like interesting."

"I like boring," Cloud corrected.

"No, you don't!" Zack grinned, shifting so he and Cloud were touching noses. "You like me, and I am as far from boring as possible."

Cloud huffed and tried to tuck his head under Zack's chin, only to have the older boy grab his chin and tilt his face up. Zack chuckled at Cloud's puzzled expression and tilted his head down to cover Cloud's lips with his.

"I keep things interesting for you," Zack murmured. "You like that."

"Interesting is good," Cloud whispered, letting Zack kiss him again. "Interesting is very good."