Stay by Me Always
By Spunky0ne
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Still aglow with happiness after the Grand Prix Finals, Victor and Yuuri have no idea of the tragedy that is about to strike. Will love be enough this time to bring Victor Nikiforov back to the ice?...yaoi, Victor/Yuuri, Otabek/Yurio
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Chapter 1: Safe in Your Arms
My name is Yuuri Katsuki, and a little more than a year ago, I was a dime a dozen Japanese skater with dreams of becoming a Grand Prix gold medalist. I had nearly given up on that goal, when the man who inspired me to become a skater, left skating, himself, to become my coach.
Victor Nikiforov…without you, I would never have come to love ice skating. Without you, I would not be wearing a Grand Prix silver medal around my neck.
Thank you so much, Victor…for showing me your love by helping me to grow, and by teaching me to show you my love through skating. I promise you that next year, I will be the Grand Prix gold medalist, even though I will have to beat you to do it.
"Yuuri," Victor's voice called from the bathroom, "the water is hot."
Yuuri's wide brown eyes that had been focused out the hotel window at the night sky, blinked, and his head turned to look in the direction of the bathroom.
He's waiting for me. And I can feel that things are going to change a bit now. Before, when I had no confidence in myself, Victor held back to let me grow stronger. I could feel in the kisses he gave me at the Grand Prix banquet, that he feels I am ready now to show my love for him in ways besides skating.
A little nervous sweat broke out on Yuuri's forehead, and his face warmed in reaction.
I'm a little bit scared. While I know that Victor will continue to let me grow slowly, I have never been loved physically. It is all new to me. So, I will be shaky and sometimes scared, like I was about skating when I was younger and had such a long way to go. But Victor knows me so well, and what he doesn't know, he reads carefully and measures. I feel so deeply that it will be all right.
I just need to take those few steps to join him.
"Yuuri?"
The younger man's breath caught in surprise.
When did he come to join me?
Yuuri's eyes took in the look of concern on Victor's handsome face and the other man's warm scent drifted across his senses.
I want very much to go to him.
"Are you all right?" Victor asked, taking up a position in front of him, "You look like there's something on your mind. Will you tell me, Yuuri?"
How do I put these feelings into words?
He slipped into Victor's arms and rested his head gently on his partner's strong shoulder, nuzzling his cheek.
I love you, Victor.
You felt my longing and you came to me and fulfilled my every dream. Now, I want to come to you and fulfill all of yours. I guess part of me is just afraid that my inexperience in physical love will not let me do that. I want to hold on to you. I want to satisfy you. But some little part of me wonders if I can be enough.
"Say something, Yuuri."
Yuuri's head turned slightly and he pressed his lips to the tender flesh of Victor's soft neck. He closed his eyes.
I love you.
I love you, Victor.
I love you so much that being with you like this leaves me speechless.
He felt Victor's fingertips under his chin and met his partner's blue-green eyes hopefully.
You understand, don't you?
"Yuuri, please say what you are thinking so loudly. I'm being as patient as I can, but…"
"I love you, Victor!"
There, I said it!
Yuuri froze, shivering under Victor's warm hands. He sought Victor's eyes tentatively.
"You actually said it to me!" Victor mused in a surprised voice, "My Yuuri said out loud that he loves me!"
Yuuri let out a nervous laugh as Victor's eyes reflected intense joy and his lips sought Yuuri's enthusiastically.
So, Yuuri thought, sinking into their deeper, more passionate kisses, this is how it begins. This gripping emotion that we call love…what happens when the feeling is so strong that it becomes physical.
"I love you too," Victor said between kisses, cupping Yuuri's flushed cheek, "We will go slowly.
Yuuri's blush darkened.
He means, because I am inexperienced, he will hold back.
I'm glad.
I very much want to welcome Victor's physical love. I know that my desire to have him coach me, and the slow training have seduced his heart. We didn't take that last step to make our love physical, because he didn't want to distract me while I was training and learning to express my love to him through my skating. He already has my heart, and I will gladly give Victor my body too.
I just…
"Come, Yuuri. Trust me."
Victor's arm curled around him, and Yuuri let himself be guided to the bathroom. They passed through the doorway and paused by the oversized tub that was filled with steaming water, and already bubbling. Victor's hands slipped down to untie the belt of Yuuri's soft robe, and he peeled it back to reveal the younger man's lovely, muscular body.
"Beautiful," Victor said appreciatively.
Victor's body is far more attractive.
But he made his very slightly shaking hands take hold of the belt of Victor's dressing robe. He pulled it free and folded the ends of the robe back, baring his partner's tall, perfect form. Yuuri moved forward with painful slowness, pressing his own naked body to Victor's and he kissed the taller man gently.
"Are you…?"
"I'm fine," Yuuri said with more confidence, "just a little anxious now."
Victor smiled and nodded, slipping a hand into his and guiding Yuuri, step by step into the bubbly water. He sank in, up to his shoulders, sitting down on the bench seat, beneath the water's surface. Yuuri sat down next to him, then made a sound of deep relief as the water impacted against his sore muscles.
"Ah!" he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning against Victor's shoulder.
Victor's arms embraced Yuuri, and his hands slowly found each uncomfortable place and massaged away the pain.
"That's right," Victor's voice rumbled in his ear, "You're pretty sore after showing me your love on the ice, Yuuri. Don't worry. We'll take our time here, as well. You didn't nail your program in a day, and physical love between us will grow slowly."
"Victor!" Yuuri exclaimed, his eyes widening as they looked up into his handsome partner's, "Victor, you don't have to hold back. I'll be…"
Victor's damp fingers touched Yuuri's parted lips, stopping him. Yuuri gave him a puzzled look.
"You don't have to say anything, you know," Victor chided him gently, "Just like when you skate to seduce me, your body will tell me when you are ready to receive this kind of love. Besides, just some touching can bring us relief, eh?"
The blush on Yuuri's face and throat crept downward until he was flushed all over. He relaxed against Victor's shoulder, watching as his partner's hand slid down to explore him more intimately.
"Ah, Victor!" Yuuri exclaimed, burying his face in the elder man's shoulder and breast.
"You can touch me too," Victor purred in his ear.
I've never done this.
It's like taking the ice for the very first time. I can barely keep my feet and I know I'm shivering and my hands are shaking. But, moving step by step, we'll get past the awkwardness.
He felt Victor's hand guiding his, then the little shudder that went through the elder man's body at just the slightest touch.
Just this? Yuuri pondered, Just this little bit of touching brings you such pleasure, Victor? But, how long have you been patient and waited for me already.
Yuuri found his breaths shortening as Victor's touches excited happy twinges through his abdomen and loins. He noted the motion of Victor's caressing hand and matched it in the touches he gave his partner.
I should feel bad, making you wait for me, but…all I can feel right now…
Yuuri quivered at the rising tension inside him.
All I can feel is how your touch gives me a feeling too big and too beautiful to be held inside. It grows until I can't hold it back.
Victor!
He couldn't have stopped it if he had wanted to, but gave in easily to the heavy, gripping shudders of his first release. He would have felt embarrassed at the deep gasp he gave in surrender, but the sound Victor made, and the elder man's delighted tremors distracted him from anything but watching closely how much pleasure Yuuri's touches had given him. They sank down deeper into the water, kissing slowly as their heartbeats gradually slowed and the initial euphoria gave way to a sated, contented feeling.
"It feels good?" Victor sighed.
Yuuri's blush returned instantly and he burrowed into Victor's shoulder again.
"Mmhmm," he mumbled, hiding his face as Victor's fingers played in his tousled hair.
"For me too," Victor confessed happily, smirking as he added, "Better than a pork cutlet bowl."
Yuuri couldn't hold back the little laugh that escaped him. The two relaxed in the bubbling water, letting the excitement of the long day seep out of them. They emerged from the water and dried off slowly, then tumbled into the bed, still bare, and their skin soft and warm from their bathing. Yuuri curled easily into Victor's embrace and the two drifted off and slept peacefully until morning.
When I open up, he meets me where I am.
That is what I need.
That is love.
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Yuuri woke, hours later, to find that the sun was already up and he was alone in the bed he and Victor had shared. He shifted and spread out, stretching his still aching muscles.
His side of the bed is still warm. Victor slept later than usual.
He turned his head slightly and spotted a note on the nightstand. His hand found his glasses, and he placed them on his face, then picked up the note and read.
Go ahead and sleep as long as you like. We can get a pork cutlet bowl when I get back. Love, Victor
Yuuri let out another long, languid sigh, turning onto his back and placing his hands behind his head as he daydreamed.
All along, I worried that when our love became physical, I would be awkward. I may have been a little awkward, but Victor is so patient. It's like he knows exactly what I need, and he gives me only what I can handle.
He lifted his hand to admire the gold ring on his finger.
It's so funny. I didn't at all mean for these rings to be a proposal. But, so easily, Victor accepted my gift and he read what my heart couldn't yet tell him. Even though I was immature and needed time to come to it, I do want to marry Victor. I want to receive both emotional and physical love. I am getting there.
Yuuri breathed slowly, gazing up at the ceiling, but seeing again the rapturous repeat of the Grand Prix Finals and the noisy banquet after.
I was able to mingle with the other skaters this time. I feel closer to them now. We are all like a sort of extended family, this group of us who came so far and competed so fiercely to seek the podium. I felt no sting at all in taking silver. Yurio's performance was breathtaking. I'll have to work hard to beat him next season.
Yuuri said up and looked around, frowning at the restless feeling inside him.
I should get dressed. I'm hungry now. Victor will be back soon.
He slipped out from under the covers and walked, naked, across the room to his suitcase, where he picked out his comfortable sweatsuit and slowly dressed. Victor had still not arrived when he was done, so he checked his phone, but found no text.
"Hmm."
I'll take a little walk to stretch my legs. It's good to move slowly after a big competition. I've worked my body really hard for months, training.
He took the stairs instead of the elevator, letting the kinks work out of his muscles and taking slow breaths. By the time he reached the ground floor, he felt energized, and he broke into a slow jog, heading out of the hotel and down the street.
I'd never been to Spain. It was fun, seeing the sights with Victor. I usually miss Japan, but it's been so much fun being here. I'm supposed to move to Saint Petersburg after we go back for a visit with my family and a celebration. I wonder how everyone will react to the news that I am leaving. They love Victor…and they love me. It'll be hard leaving them, I guess.
But, my home is really with Victor now.
Yuuri spotted a small park, and headed in, using the jogging trail. He moved into a gentle run, admiring the pretty flowers and blue sky as he ran.
I feel pretty good for having just been through a competition. Maybe the euphoria still hasn't really worn off.
He ran through the park and along the side of a creek that ran along the edge, continuing until he began to feel tired, and his stomach rumbled warningly. Turning back, he ran out of the park and dropped back into a walk, smiling as he passed people on the street and enjoying the pounding of his heart and the touch of chill in the air.
"Hey, Yuuri!" a friendly male voice called, distracting him out of his reverie.
"Phichit-kun!" Yuuri answered, jogging to meet his friend.
"Are you out here jogging so soon after the competition? I'm too tired and sore to do that yet," Phichit said cheerfully.
"I'm waiting for Victor to come back," Yuuri explained, "I was bored and just meant to go for a walk."
"You're still excited from winning a medal, aren't you?"
Yuuri nodded.
"It was really exciting for both Victor and me," he agreed.
"I heard Victor say he's coming back for the next season."
"He is," Yuuri affirmed, "but he said that he would also still be coaching me."
"Wow! That's going to be a lot of work for him."
"I know," Yuuri said, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, "I'm worried it might be too much. Victor is a talented skater, but he hasn't worked on his own program all year, and since he gave his planned program to Yurio and me, he has to come up with something completely new."
"That's going to be a challenge," Phichit said appreciatively.
Yuuri felt a little sinking feeling inside for a moment, but Phichit slapped him on the shoulder and smiled encouragingly.
"Victor is a genius," he said confidently, "I'm sure it will be fine."
"Yeah," Yuuri said, flushing slightly, "I'm sure it will beb fine."
"Well, I have to go and get my things ready to go," Phichit said, taking Yuuri's hand and shaking it firmly, "I hope I will see you and Victor again soon. Good luck in your training."
"Good luck in your training too, Phichit-kun!" Yuuri said enthusiastically.
Yuuri watched as his friend disappeared into the distance, then he turned back towards his own hotel, walking slowly with his hands in his pockets.
I do wonder how things will go this season. Last season was Victor's first, coaching. Getting me up to speed was not just mentally challenging for him, He also had to come onto the ice to show me how to do the moves. It won't just be his own short and long program he has to design. He'll also be helping me with mine. But, I have learned a lot from him. I'm sure that I can help more this time around.
We'll manage.
"Yuuri!" Victor's voice called out to him from across the street.
Yuuri ran to the corner, pausing to wait for the light to change and the walk signal to switch on. He started across, smiling as he closed the distance to where Victor waited on the curb. He had almost reached the other side, when suddenly the smile left Victor's face, and it was inexplicably overwritten with fear.
What…?
Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a fast moving car heading toward him, going so quickly that he couldn't get out of the way. To his horror, Victor launched himself into the path of the car, his frightened eyes locking on Yuuri's.
Victor!
The car slammed on its brakes, the tires screeching and smoking as Victor's body crashed into Yuuri's, throwing both men violently to the ground. Yuuri curled his body instinctively, protecting his head as he struck the asphalt and felt stars explode behind his eyes. The last thing he heard was a heavy impact and Victor's gasp of pain.
Victor!
Are you…?