Disclaimer – I don't own the manga Life or any of its characters. It all belongs to Keiko Suenobu.

1.

"I like how I got the little drops of blood trickling out of your wrist like that," Ayumu distinctly heard him mutter before the sound of footsteps retreated out the door.

What could she do?

Amazing what things are possible in the first few hours of the day. Already, it was noon and Shiiba Ayumu had been blown to bits by the hurricane formally known as Nishidate High School. Already, that sea of once-friendly faces fell under the beck and call of one Anzai Manami and was ready to practically gnaw on whatever was left of her…what was it, again…self-respect? Or was sanity a better answer? Ayumu could care less; she was truly alone. How ironic that she tried so hard to be nice after the incident with Shinozuka, turned the other cheek for all around her and instead had both pummeled to a pulp.

So what to do now? Huddled up in a ball in the nurse's office, her only sanctuary from the horrors outside and…no, it was not. He came, right when the nurse left, that boy, no, that monster she had come to despise every fiber of named Sako Katsumi. He came, daring to sit by her side and ask if he could comfort her. Why was it so easy to push him away? Why couldn't she do the same to Manami when the latter tried to make her mouth a pin cushion? For that matter, why did she continue wanting Manami to like her even now? It was all so unfair, it made her want to cry.

'Do you want me to comfort you?'

Ayumu hugged herself around her knees. Those were his words. So why did he say them? Why did he choose to visit her? Was it to gloat? Was it to see how she was…impossible. He didn't care a damn about her. He tied her up as a cat with yarn and made her his toy mouse to play with and discard. No, he just wanted her to suffer for he was a sadist.

Why then, and Ayumu covered her ears at this latest uninvited doubt-maggot, why did he go through all the trouble in the first place? Why all the extremes he put himself and her through? He didn't have to put in the time to go this far, didn't have to blackmail her with those pictures–

The pictures! Arms dropped and Ayumu looked at her left hand. Wide eyes took in the glop of blood that soaked through her sleeve. Her thoughts got entangled from the fast pace set by panic. Blood! Sleeve! He knows! He knows! Cellphone! Picture! He has it! He's going to show them! Show them…!

There was no more time to think. Time was never on Ayumu's side; why should it be now? But action…Ayumu's eyes glimmered, action might. Action might…take pity. He was just down the hall. If she acted…if she was quick enough…she could stop him. Yes! Delirious happiness grabbed the reins to Ayumu's limbs and caused them to tremble in anticipated movement. She was ready. As long as Shiiba Ayumu had legs, she was not going to be denied this time…not anymore.

In a flurry of blankets and sheets, Ayumu leapt from the bed she was on and tore out of the room. Those very legs of hers went up and down furiously like spokes on a wheel and gave the illusion that she was flying. Her mind too was flying at a rate faster than her muscles and all she knew or cared was that she will not be denied. Forcing her world-weary and bitter heart to pump more blood, it wasn't long till Ayumu reached the source of her misery.

Indeed, it wasn't long either till students walking from class to class began to notice her. And notice her they did. What a sight she was: skirt torn to shreds, hell in her eyes, and left sleeve dotted crimson! Particularly startling was how fast she ran as it was a given Ayumu failed pathetically in gym class. Yet desperation does have its way of making the awkward seem graceful if but briefly and here she was.

When Ayumu finally caught sight of Katsumi's back, which was bare of any students to charge through and defenseless, a terrible scream reminiscent of an animal in pain hurled itself from her voice box. It was all the warning Katsumi got before the raging wildcat pounced and knocked him down on the hard, tiled floor.

None were more surprised by Ayumu's action than Ayumu herself. This was not what she had intended, no, her plan of forty-five seconds previous was to remove his cellphone somehow, preferably by erasing its existence for good. Revenge, as it turned out, seemed to have a stronger influence on Ayumu than reputation used to have. Now she was the dominant one and not him. And again the question came: "so what to do now?"

Thoughts of violence Ayumu never dreamed she could've possessed began to whisper fervently for her to kill, kill, kill, and conscience weakened, she complied and curled her fingers around Katsumi's throat. She had no other plans, no way of knowing what she should do next. What she was sure about was that she wanted to make the monster Sako Katsumi feel a little, at least a little, of the pain she had felt that he caused. The nightmares of being bound and helpless returned and urged her to further tighten her grip, digging her nails into taut, beating flesh.

Ayumu faintly heard the typical school life around her stop and focus. This made her feel giddy for she finally got their attention. Her eyes also focused; so far gone was she that she couldn't see Katsumi inches away. Now was he feeling scared? Or did he hate her for standing up to him?

It was none of those things. Sako Katsumi's face at that moment was strange; surprise could be detected and so could shock. Then again, those were typical reactions to getting unexpectedly choked. He displayed neither fear nor hate and there wasn't even any sign of struggle. If Ayumu had been more aware, she would've noticed that no frantic hands clawed up her arms to stop their lethal movements.

However, that was beside the point. To the growing crowd of gossip-intoxicated bystanders, Ayumu's positioning over Katsumi was not in her favor. She was straddling him, their chests brushing each other. And what's more, she was leaning down to whisper some message in his ear. Anyone would've assumed at a careless glance that it was one of romance or seduction or both.

"Tell them," Ayumu hissed her 'declaration of love' through gritted teeth. "I want you to tell them the truth. If you don't tell them," in a threatening gesture, she shoved her fingers harder against Katsumi's neck until the tips of them turned white, "I will kill you. Do you hear me?" She could hear a voice she thought she knew to be her own rising to a fever pitch. Since when was Shiiba Ayumu so cruel? That didn't make sense…and neither did her situation. So she couldn't be blamed for what happened next. "I want you to tell them what you did to me...!"

"Ayumu!"

The unfortunate girl jerked her head up to see the source of the interruption, viewing the world through frenzy-colored lenses. She tried to make sense of the picture. Ah yes, curly golden hair, mascara lashes, glossy lips, Ayumu knew who it was; good old sanity had not abandoned her. Manami, her friend of two brief weeks, was there along with her equally dolled-up cohorts. They, the five of them, would've been considered prettier if their brows weren't furrowed and if their eyes hadn't been blackened by hate. Why Anzai Manami's eyes flashed love then hate then love again in a perverse sort of merry-go-round was a reason Ayumu didn't remember and didn't wish to revisit. There was never any real, honest bond that existed between her and Manami; therefore, nothing was to be lost except Ayumu because Manami and everyone else thought she was a natural loser.

Another noise came out of Ayumu: laughter or what was supposed to be laughter. Rather, it was a broken string of notes that likened itself to a malfunctioning music box. Ayumu continued the horrible melody, forgetting to swallow the saliva that leaked past the corner of her mouth, a minor setback for sure.

When the sounds ceased, Ayumu lowered her head down to where it previously was. Her grip on Katsumi's neck remained firm the entire time. A trace of a smile clung to her lips.

"As to your accusations of my feelings…" Suddenly Ayumu showed her face again to Manami and the tense mob. Plastered upon it was the same smile but everything about it was now bright and cheerful. Despite her earlier outburst, it gave her a glow of genuine happiness which was obviously not the case. "I adore him," Ayumu proclaimed in an even sweeter voice that echoed eerily of Manami's. This surreal illusion quite literally broke when Ayumu raised her right hand in a fist to strike Katsumi viciously across the temple. A groan and the thud of his head bouncing against the floor from the impact followed.

Within seconds, half the girls present exhaled gasps or covered their mouths as an alternative. Physical violence inflicted on a beloved class heartthrob was an unthinkable miscalculation to their mental processes, especially if said violence was instigated by the weaker animal they themselves preyed upon. It was natural social order, survival of the fittest, being contradicted in front of their very eyes.

Some dared to look Ayumu directly in the face in order to satisfy the universal question of 'is this girl serious?' Those who did so found an empty house on fire and no joke in sight. Ayumu was gone and not gone, still there and really somewhere else, her eyes shining so bright it was impossible to tell what she was feeling. Not that anyone cared to know of course. They never wanted to before. Nonetheless, the human jack-o-lantern expression was a new one of Ayumu's and made its impact. Though deceptively hollow, it shot for a deliberate target and that target was Manami.

"I would love to wring my hands around his lily...white...neck." The artificial sugar-sweet voice returned, having adapted a bitter flavor emphasized by Ayumu's hands squeezing Katsumi's throat increasingly tighter if possible. It was then that Ayumu received the reaction she craved: unable to handle the crushing pressure, Katsumi released an incoherent cry for air. "Would this be what it'll take for you to believe me?

"Or should I take it a step further," Ayumu's dry, chapped mouth stretched into a warped grin, "and kill him? I would gladly do it," she rambled on for she truly wanted to know whether ending the life of Sako Katsumi would bring needed profit to her place on the popularity stock market. At that point, action had become her best friend; the possibilities it brought were limitless and she was all for trying them out. Suddenly the very concept of murder didn't seem so bad...if it meant having Manami respecting and trusting her. "I had wanted to kill this bastard for a while."

Chaos pierced through the surrounding crowd like a rapier upon the last of those words. Shrieks and shouts littered the air in various pitches with the ones from the girls being the most audible: "Murder! Murderer! She's going to kill Katsumi-kun!" Only Manami proved calm. In spite of the commotion about her, that dark eye of hatred remained intact.

Ayumu found herself to be unmoved by the initial reaction. Rather she felt white-hot leaden anger fuse through her veins at what was being said. How dare they accuse her display of the truth? If neither action nor talk could save her then what could?

"So that's how it's going to be then, eh?" said Ayumu full of contempt. "Either way, I'm the villain, you're the victim."

Unexpectedly most of the students forgot their fear as though in a dream and tuned in to Ayumu once again. The breakdown was brought down, the raving momentarily sobered. Every day did bring new things to light; none of the witnesses had seen an Ayumu so cynical and crusted over. It was a curiosity not unlike peering beyond cage bars at animals in a zoo, reading newspaper articles on the latest serial killer. That was all.

Out of the strange twist that is irony, when everyone else stopped, Manami moved her hand in the tiniest, unacknowledged gesture. Unacknowledged it was except to Ayumu's sharpened eyesight, made so by paranoia. Her paranoia in turn magnifying this singular event, Ayumu jumped on the assumption that Manami was trying to get away. Ayumu's eyes widened and the leaden feeling intensified.

"You better not hide behind one of your followers," Ayumu growled deep within her throat a little more forcefully than she had meant. Then she progressed to borderline shouting, her wavering voice challenging Manami. "I've dealt with more than my fair share! I want this between you and me!"

A moment passed where the two girls did nothing else other than stare at each other. Everyone held their breath for the deadly cable of tension to snap.

"I have nothing to lose," blurted Ayumu, her voice a great deal less intimidating than before. It was obvious she had begun to doubt herself, that maybe this wasn't such a great idea. Little by little, the insecure Ayumu of old was crawling back into the picture. More words would do her no good and would make her out to be an avoiding fool. That's what Ayumu would've followed if she hadn't boxed herself into so tight a corner. Unlike some past experiences, there was no turning back.

Ayumu decided then to add to the damage by making her serious intentions loud and clear: "I can kill him if I want! Maybe it's time you fight your own battles!"

Leaning forward, Ayumu watched her words take their effect on Manami. The gauntlet had been thrown and only a matter of time remained. Gold curls shaking, eyes glistening, nostrils flared, just the one thing Manami hadn't done yet was engage actual, violent part in her anger. All it would take would be a few more remarks…which were exactly what Ayumu did.

"And another thing," Ayumu recklessly pressed, embracing the notion she was doomed and forsaken, "do you really think the teachers will care? They'll probably be just like you, seeing me as the one who started it since I was the first to crack!"

That set it off. Manami's restraint, what little was left, was gone. By the spoken reality of authority figures being absent, nothing more held Manami back from going on the offensive. The other students must've seen the change in Manami's demeanor for returning thereafter was the chorus of voices, this time in strained allegro.

"Mana, don't do it!"

"It's not worth it!"

Their pleas fell on deaf ears. As soon as the useless phrases entered the atmosphere, as if in provocation, Manami went charging at Ayumu, possessed by the spirit of an ill-tempered bull. It was unnecessary to explain the rest: Ayumu got knocked to the floor reeling courtesy of Manami's manicured fist.

Somewhere, a couple of girls shrieked.

Struggling to open her eyes, Ayumu made out to her left a dark, hunched blob lifting itself up. Ayumu was barely getting to her own feet when another body slammed her down again, causing her to wheeze. Her head smacked against the hard surface below and from that point on, it was a whirlwind of stars and color.

Peculiar it was to say how though the revived pandemonium swelled up irreversibly, it decreased upon approaching Ayumu. The animated surroundings before her were being blurred away like television mosaic, sounds growing duller, and she couldn't find the strength to push off the extra weight crushing her. An idea, one of those simultaneously stupid and brilliant ones people have right before they die or so Ayumu believed she was dying, inspired Ayumu to give a wispy chuckle; having your former best friend kill you, how sad was that? What a way to end it all! Maybe that was why she came up with this crazy plan. It was practically suicidal and since she didn't possess the courage…

…like Hatori...

'Thank you.'

That smile, so warm and accepting, dare it be the glorious dawn…Ayumu would gladly take it as the last image to pass her retinas. No, she decided, she'd keep that precious memory in her heart where it would remain always. Ideals you couldn't live to deserve remembrance for what they could've been. And then Ayumu distantly wondered if Hatori herself was a "could've-been," something that had the potential to mean more…

Still, Ayumu considered as she drifted ever so slowly towards an endless, numbly black void, she'd never know now.