I wake up. I get dressed. I eat something. I go into town. I beat up some random dudes who need their asses handed to them. I have a cigarette. Same old shit. Every day. What the hell.

I haven't seen Izaya Orihara since the huge Dollars meeting a few weeks ago. People are still buzzing about it. I'm not completely sure what the hell it was all about, but I didn't have to kill people so it's all good. I feel suspicious... whatever, just as long as he isn't here bothering me or those close to me, I am relieved by his absence. I swear to god I am going to kill that guy one day.

Celty feels more comfortable in her skin now; people don't seem to be afraid of her as much as they used to be. Shinra is still a creepy wacko, but I can't hate him, he is one of the few people who aren't afraid of me (who aren't trying to kill me). Kasuka is doing his business, being a movie star and all. As for everyone else, shit is normal. Everything is normal.

But that won't last very long.

I wake up the next day. I get dressed. I eat something. I go into town. I am pretty sure things will go as they normally do, but things take a twist the moment it starts snowing.

Ok, snow, no big deal. Right? Ok, I know, it's almost summer... but it can't be that big of a deal. A little snow isn't going to ruin my normal-ass day.

I wander the streets like I usually do when Tom doesn't need me. I am about to "break up" a fight between two pedestrians when I am distracted by a stubby, black-and-white figure in the distance. If you weren't paying attention, it might have passed as a drunken midget in a strange outfit by its movement and appearance...

A penguin? In Ikebukuro? I stared at it for a moment and take a look around... there are a bunch of penguins! Why isn't anyone fazed by it? And the snow?

I shrug it off and light up a cigarette. If no one else thinks this is strange, I shouldn't either. This could be the beginning of the apocalypse but I don't care because apparently nobody else does.

"Psst..."

I look around. Is someone trying to catch my attention?

"Shizuo..."

I look around again. I don't see anybody.

"Shizuo!"

I look down. A cat?

"You're Shizuo Heiwajima, right?"

Yup. A cat is speaking to me. By this point I am seriously questioning my sanity.

"Uh... yeah... that's me..."

Should I be responding? This is a cat. A cat, for fuck's sake. I glance left, right, and behind me to make sure I am not getting weird stares. Nobody is paying attention. I swear to god, the citizens today-

"Great! I'm Oscar, and this is Guy." Oscar said. Just for the record, Oscar is your typical cat. He is a long haired, brown cat who seemed to weigh a bit. Guy on the other hand, is a skinny short haired, white cat... with rainbow blotches... honestly...

"Did you hear about the man who was killed?" Guy asked.

"Yeah I guess. What about him?"

"Actually, he doesn't matter so much. It's his killer. We have a suspicion about who it is-"

"Hold up! First of all, it's snowing. Second, there are penguins roaming around. Third, there are two talking cats trying to make conversation with me. I don't need this, I'm going home-"

"No wait! We have explanations!" Oscar interrupted.

"...I'm listening..."

"Ok... everyone is being brainwashed, the snow and penguins are just a test to see if the brainwashing is working." Guy started explaining.

"They don't look brainwashed..."

"That's the point. They are brainwashed to be oblivious to their surroundings so she can get away with her evil deeds..."

"Who is 'she'?" I can't believe I am actually talking to some cats about conspiracies.

"We don't actually know who 'she' is; we just know she is behind this all..."

"Riiight... now how come you can talk? How do you know my name... and what the fuck do I have to do with this?"

"We're talking cats, duh" Oscar meowed.

Oh, of course... that makes so much sense... whatever.

"And you seem to be immune to the brainwashing. How do we know you? Everyone knows you... and you have such awesome strength... you can help us!"

"What if I don't wanna help?"

"Please! We have to save the citizens from her! Save the world from her! Don't you wanna be a hero?" Oscar pleaded.

I had to think about that for a second. A hero? That's pretty cool... and who can say no to those cute faces? Cute kitties... Wait, what am I talking about? This is ridiculous! Everything is fine; everybody is acting normal, so what if there are a couple of penguins?

"We think she's planning on building an empire revolving around her... everyone in the world will be her minion- no, slave. We think she plans for complete world domination..." Guy mumbled.

"Well that would suck. I'm in, I guess."

What have I gotten myself into...?