I own nothing

5475 days. Or 131400 minutes. About 782 weeks. Or 180 months. Everybody counts different, but at the same time we count time in weeks, days, hours and minutes. We take a look at the watch and tell someone the time. Time, the most precious gift on earth because it's limited. Each and everyone, humans, animals, even plants have a limited longevity. Some people live fast, use drugs and alcohol, party hard, have fun and die young. Others work hard and cherish the time they have, raise a family, get grand children, maybe even great grandchildren and die with a content sigh on their lips, maybe even a small smile, because they have achieved everything they had worked for.

And then there are those episodes in life which change everything and nothing at the same time. For example a mother loses her child to a disease. She will mourn, of course, maybe she won't get back on her feet again, get depressed, lose her work, her home and the faith in everything and everyone around her. But one thing doesn't change. Time. It proceeds, even if the world around you stops, even if you vanish, only to leave memories. It's the only constant in our daily lives. It doesn't stop, and you certainly can't turn it back.

There are people, who regret parts of this time, what they have done and maybe the lives they have changed with it. But there is a saying: Time heals all wounds.

And then there are those who regret lost opportunities. They had a onetime chance and it passed and they won't get it back. You'll mourn all those things, lost time, chances and opportunities. But those are only small parts, short amounts of time. What about those who lose a lifetime? Like all those mentioned days? Fifteen years?

Some of them lost the opportunity. For example to marry the love of their life, just because of a single mistake and then all those years later, this woman stands on your porch and asks for a little bit of your time. Others gave away their child and notice after all those years that there is missing something, that you gave away a part of yourself. Some may need this time to find themselves, to find the right job, or the right woman, maybe even the right home.

And then there are those who did something wrong, something terrific for outsiders and they lose 15 years in prison. Some of those count the days even the minutes for their release, because they don't regret or think about what they have done and caused others. But not Jane. She didn't count those days. She recognized them, yes, but it didn't matter to her. Time didn't change what had happened and wouldn't change the outcome either. She just accepted the fact that she had given this time of her life to the state Texas. In the state's eyes she was guilty of attempted murder with aggravated battery. She would have happily given her life, if the attempted murder had succeeded. But it hadn't. The victim had survived his wounds, but was in a coma for four years. A timeline Jane accepted as a break for those who she had feared for.

Today, well today, after 15 years of her 20 years sentence, she got parole, for good behavior. Isn't it funny, to be released as a battered and bruised woman on the inside and the outside, because you have happily endured the assaults of your inmates? Because that's what they call good behavior. You don't fight back. You fear for your life and they call it good behavior. You stay on your own, become the weird chick, don't belong to any gang and fight for those you've maybe grown close, but you get released for good behavior.

Jane ran her index finger along the scar across her face and chuckled slightly. She had survived, she had lost time but she had survived and today she would start new, with thirty one. She didn't have a diploma, she hadn't finished school, and she definitely hadn't learned a profession in prison. If she set foot on solid Texan ground she would be a nothing, a nobody, but she had been one before, so it didn't matter to her. She would find a way to survive outside the prison, like she had found one to survive on the inside.

She looked around in her cell. There where pictures of her and her two younger brothers and her best friend Barry, the only one who knew everything. But Jane had him made promise to keep his mouth shut and as the loyal friend he had been he had done so. He had been the only one to come on the visitation days in the first two years. But after he had graduated high school, he had left for the police academy in Los Angeles. After what had happened with Jane he had sworn to fight crimes. It was a funny fact because he went off to become a cop and Jane wound up in prison.

A sad smile appeared on her face as she touched the picture. A couple of years back, Jane had forgotten when exactly, she had received a letter from his mother telling her that Barry had died in the line of duty. He had been good at his job, gotten promoted to detective at a young age. He had worked drugs in L.A. and died while in an undercover operation.

She tucked the photo of Barry and her two younger brothers in her small bag. The letters from her mother would be left behind. That was a chapter she had closed long before she had went to prison. But those from her brothers where already secured in her bag.

Unlike other inmates Jane had not had many visitors nor belongings in her cell. It had always looked like she had just arrived here. Her days she had spent with meditating and workouts. For hours she had steeled her body to become this muscular and firm like it now was.

"Yo, Rizzoli." Jane heard a male voice call her back to the now and here. "It's time." Jane stood up from her cot grabbed the bag and waited for the guard to open her cell. Today was the day were she finally got released into freedom, like the others often said. But what did it matter to be free, if your soul wasn't.

Jane nodded at the guard and followed him down the hallway. His name was Bobby Finch. He was a tall and lanky man, not like the most guards here. She had grown fond of him, since he first had started here three years ago. He was no beauty but he definitely had a pure soul, Jane could tell.

The other inmates yelled and hollered across the hallway, some happy for her to finally get parole, other jealous because there sentence was twenty-five to life. Jane ignored all of them, like she had the last fifteen years. After they had passed several gates they finally came to the release area. Bobby mentioned for Jane to wait in the dressing room. She stared at the ceiling and send a little prayer to a God she long ago had lost faith in.

She came from a good old catholic family, with Italian roots. They had went to church every Sunday, had prayed before every meal and confessed sins like every good believer. But Jane hadn't confessed, even inside prison she hadn't confessed what not she but her father had done. She had kept her mouth shut and stashed it away in one of her compartments, shutting it out.

When the door opened Bobby stepped inside with a folded denim and a plain white shirt some new boots and socks. Jane didn't recognize those clothes. She frowned and looked at him questioning.

"Annie bought them." he said holding the pile out for her to take it. But Jane just stood there starring at the new clothes somebody had bought for her. Bobby smiled. "Your clothes Jane where too, well let's say, you were sixteen when you came here. They were to small so Annie was so kind and bought some clothes for you. I hope they fit. We didn't exactly know your size." He sat the clothes and boots on the bench and left without any other word.

Jane just starred at the foreign objects in front of her. They, a guard and his wife had bought her her first set of clothes. She sighed, ran a hand through her hair and started to undress. She made a mental not to buy something nice from her first money outside and send it to the Finch's.

After she was finished, she rang the bell to inform Bobby that she was ready now. He smiled as he opened the door. "Ready?" he asked and Jane only nodded, grabbing her small bag with all her belongings. She followed him through the hallways leading them to the main gate. She hadn't said any word at all, but Bobby knew that Jane was just like that.

When the Gate finally opened it gave away a very barren view. Nothing but miles of sand and heat. But that was Texas. Miles of nothing except maybe a cactus.

Bobby appeared next to her and laid his hand on her shoulder. Jane didn't flinch, but didn't look up, too.

"I know it's a little to the next town. But you gonna get there. And do me a favor. Don't come back." He patted her shoulder and turned away from her to go back inside.

"Oh Rizzoli, I almost forgot, there are hundred bucks in the ass pocket." She frowned turned around to say something but he just dismissively waved his hand and walked away. She turned around and looked over the wide open. Freedom was not the thing she had missed the most.

Popped into my mind after I heard Tim McRaw's Number 37405

Let me know what you all think.

And thanks to my little witchblade for being my beta once again ;-)