Title: Conversations: Truth
Rating: PG Pairing: Sawyer/Kate
Summary: The truth comes out
Status of fic: Completed
Disclaimer: As much as I'd like to own Sawyer (and Kate), I don't.
Author's notes: I don't write for anyone other than myself really so this hasn't been beta-ed. So I apologise for the mistakes.

Conversations: Truth

The waves crashed against the sandy beaches. Calm in contrast to their lives over the past two months. The sun beat down and the sand was hot under her feet as she trailed down to the water barefoot. The usually pile of clothes and a book were by the shore. It seemed now that it was a morning ritual for him to read then swim. He rarely ventured to the caves where Michael had erected what was meant to be temporary shower system and only occasionally journeyed to the hatch, opting to bathe in the waves. He'd trade items from his stash if he needed water instead of collecting it himself. Always away from the others. Forever the outsider. Despite her best efforts to get him to participate more. But if it wasn't a group disagreement he just wasn't interested. She sat by his clothes and stared vacantly out to see.

"Mornin' Freckles. Admiring the view?" The cocky southern drawl drew her attention up to his eye level as he pulled on his mud and sand covered jeans. She hadn't even noticed him appear from the water.

Rolling her eyes, she shielded them from the sun, "Have you ever considered washing your pants Sawyer?"

"Why? We expectin' company?" He never missed a beat. She didn't reply, just rolled her eyes again and stared out to sea.

Her eyes remained blank as she started into a story, "I was speaking to Claire yesterday. We've been leading very different lives on this island. We spend our days differently. She's trying to keep a routine in order, just so that her baby is used to one when we finally get rescued. Keep things as normal as possible for him, you know?"

By now Sawyer as turned his attention back to Watership Down, only keeping one ear on the conversation in case he was required to reply. Sensing her pause he dropped the book, "That's mighty sweet. Were ya thinkin' we need the same? Eat together in the evenings before getting an early night ready for work next mornin'. Ain't happening Sweet Cheeks." His attention was soon back on the book, it was the 5th time he had read the sentence "---" since she'd been sat with him.

Her eyes lost the blankness and sparkled happiness, she couldn't deny that although he probably pissed her off ten times a day, he still made her smiled.

"Care to share the joke?" She'd been unable to hide her smile from him. Shaking her head, buying herself time to lie, "Just wondering how many times you've read that same line." A mischievous glint in her eye sparkled as he momentarily looked shocked she'd noticed.

"Got a sneaky suspicion you can't keep your eyes off me." He smirked without even lifting his eyes from his page, and quickly hiding his shock.

"And I'm sure you'd rather it was my hands." She shot back at him, catching him by surprise again. In the split second pause, he'd be deciding whether to say that or not. Damn this girl got in his head at times. It was her turn to smirk.

When they shared banter of this nature the heat between them always rose. The ever present sexual tension increased just that little bit more with each smirk and quick quip.

"So is this your big plans for the day Freckles? Watching me read?" Sawyer replied, trying ever so slightly to defuse the situation for moment before dropping his next line, "'Cause if it is, I can think of better ways we can spend our time."

Her eyes went blank again. He couldn't have possibly known what had sent her from the hatch and Jack, in search of the beach and peace. She hadn't come here with the intention of finding Sawyer, that had kind of just happened but now she was in his presence she couldn't help thinking maybe she should find out the truth. "There's nothing in that for me, you don't have the guns anymore Sawyer." Her eyes stared fixed on the waves, not daring to look at him. Worried about his reaction.

It took him a moment to comprehend exactly what she had said. He'd be implying sex, obviously and she'd brought up guns. Jack. "Son of bitch." He mumbled tossing down his book, losing his page but not caring.

She didn't know what exactly she was bothered about this, "So it's true?" But it got to her. It felt like something was eating her up inside. It couldn't be jealousy.

He didn't reply. Did he make light of it? Even he wasn't disrespectful of the dead. Argue that it isn't any of her business; he's free to do what he wants? While that was a valid point, he couldn't see Kate reasoning with it. So he simply shrugged, "It's true."

His honesty threw her. She'd discovered that to get the truth out of Sawyer he had to have had a near death experience or be drunk. First thing in the morning, without an argument or a drink, was not what she'd been expecting. She thought he would have flat out denied it. Claimed Jack was a "lyin' son of bitch". She's expected anger and laughter. Instead she got the truth and what appear to be sorrow and regret on his face. "How could you?" The words didn't make sense but it was all she could think of to say.

Oh what a question to ask. There were so many ways he could answer that. But somehow, he thought, she wasn't interested about hearing what exactly the birds and bees entails. "Just sorta happened." He was wishing he'd stayed in the ocean, if only he'd known this was going to happen.

What answer had she been expecting to that question? She didn't own him. She couldn't tell him what he could and couldn't do. Yet the longer she sat by him the more hurt she felt. "It "just sorta happened"?" Jesus she sounded like a parrot. Why wasn't he questioning her interest? Why was she still asking question. "Walk away Kate" she repeated over and over in her head and she stayed transfixed on his eyes.

He really didn't want to be explaining the little incident to her. It was typical of this island to turn one little thing such as a meaningless sex into a huge thing that ripples continued throughout other relationships. Is relationships even the right word? Is that what he has with Kate? Her eyes were burning into him, the heat rising with every passing second there was silence. "What can I say? A guy has…" The words fell out of is mouth without him even thinking and he didn't even have time to finish his sentence.

"Yeah I know, a guy has his needs." She shot back at him. He'd said that before. "I don't know, I just thought maybe you wouldn't act on them so soon. Or in such a meaningless way." She finally forced herself up. She could feel tears and she'd be damn if she was going to let Sawyer know he could have that effect on her.

He watched her walk unsteadily down the shoreline, wandering in and out of the tide. He wanted to shout out to her. To try and explain like a human being, like a grown man. He wanted to ask why she was so interested, why she cared so much. He hadn't wanted to be so casual, so 'Sawyer' in his reply. Why couldn't he be 'James' for just one moment. He'd spent over half his life hiding that side of himself and now feared he didn't even know that other person now.