Magnum, PI: "A Dash Of Color"
Magnum and T.C. are sitting at a table in Magnum's guest room. They are playing cards. Magnum comes forward from leaning in the chair.
"Come on T.C., you going to play or pounder? Higgins plays a faster game of chess."
"It's not your hard earned money on the line," replies T.C.
"Hard earned? You fly a helicopter. It's not like you're scrubbing the floors, or digging up rocks. Are you going to bet?"
"Yeah, but only cause I want to get this over with. What ever happened to friendly games?"
"Friendly ended five minutes ago," says Magnum. T.C. places some money down, "there you go. Now that wasn't so hard."
"Yeah, yeah."
Magnum's voice-over thought starts...
"T.C. and I used to play cards regularly. But since I started working for Robin Masters, we haven't been able to find the time we used to. I'd always be busy, or he'd be at work..."
T.C. places some more money into the tally.
"...which left me with a lot of free time. I picked up a few hobbies, of course I dare not tell him counting cards was one of them. When he came down the stairs and placed his coat on the dresser, near the book, I damn near had a heart attack," he smiles.
"What are you smiling about?" asks T.C.
"Nothing, just thinking about something that happened earlier."
"You got a Flush, or something. Nothing tickles you as much as to see me go broke."
"It's two dollar limit game. You telling me two dollars in a few games of Stud Poker is going to make or brake you?" asks Magnum.
"Well, it sure wouldn't hurt," he eyes Magnum suspiciously, "I'm keeping an eye on you," and points a finger.
"What?" Magnum laughs.
The voice-over starts again,
"It was then the hairs on my neck stood on end. All at attention and waiting for their drill instructor who would no doubt find flaws."
The door opens and in steps Higgins. He walks down the steps.
"Hello Higgins. Care to join us for a game? Light up a cigar and pretend to be one of the boys?" Magnum and T.C. laugh.
"Poker is a game for ship faring tallymen and pub patroning, billiard playing souses who gamble away their fortune in an inebriated attempt to have selfaggrandilizing drollery. Besides that, Poker is a blatant rip-off of the Latin game, Poque."
"So I guess that means no," Magnum and T.C. laugh again.
"If you're quite done with this mockery of a game, I need to see you upstairs."
"Not now Higgins, we're playing cards."
"Mister Magnum, some things are more important that a game of cards," says Higgins.
"You're precisely right; like having a day off. Oh, wait - today is one of those days!" exclaims Magnum.
Higgins looks at Thomas's cards. He lifts up the one laying face down and says, "A Royal Flush. I see bluffing is not lost upon you."
"Hey! Come on now! That wasn't right and you know it."
"Mister Masters does not pay you to sit on your rear and play games."
"He doesn't have to pay me when I'm off the clock. Remember? I said I was taking Thursday off?"
"You don't have Thursday off," replies Higgins.
"Now I know for a fact I told you. You were painting that picture of your dogs. I heard you acknowledge me," rebukes Magnum.
"I did."
"There you go. See, I told you."
"So you must also remember that right after that acknowledgment I told you that you needed to follow the proper procedure and file a request-for-a-day-off slip. Surely you must recall."
Magnum slams a hand on the table top.
"Yeah, I do, but I don't want to. Can't we just look past this little infraction and towards me having a bright and sunny day off?" persuades Magnum.
"It's rather doubtful. Now if you're done taking all this poor man's money, I expect to see you upstairs in a bit."
"All right, just give me a few minutes."
"Yes," Higgins walks back up and out.
Inner monologue.
"Higgins sure loves his paperwork. Accounting for every item. You couldn't get past that man with a stick of gum without a hand stretched out in anticipation for a receipt. I'm not saying the man is tight, but I.R.S. workers envy him and I half expect H & R Block to send letters of congratulations. Over there he must be a hero with a really large gold statue ... whose work expenses were all accounted for..."
"Tell you what, Higgins is making me feel a little guilty; you keep the money. I'm going to go see what he wants," Magnum takes a mild pace to and up the stairs out.
T.C. collects his money and Magnum's.
"Guilt never felt so good."
Magnum walks into the living room.
I hope you're happy, you ruined out game. For someone who seems to be so posh and full of manners, you sure did make one heck of a faux pas."
"Only a minor one. I had no idea interrupting two friends shamming one another constituted a social blunder."
"I wasn't shamming. I was slowly increasing my net value," says Magnum coyly.
"Ah, I see. So you were depreciating his balance for your gain through coy friendly deception. It's all becoming clear now," replies Higgins.
"Higgins, you'd describe love unpleasantly if someone else was enjoying it and you weren't. Now you can either tell me why I'm up here, to watch me go back to grifting my friend."
"Lou Lantele."
"Lou Lantele?"
"The famous artist. Surely you've heard of him? He's been making quite the name for himself in the art world."
"Yeah, I know who. He did that Honolulu sunset. The one with the purples and pinks. Beautiful painting. Is he coming here?"
Him and Mister Masters were friends. They attended college together and Masters generously offered to showcase his works here at the mansion."
"You're going to let a bunch of strangers into the mansion? You won't even let my friends in sometimes!" says Magnum angrily.
High class strangers who pay a 120 entrance fee. Important people and important property need proper security."
"Say that five times fast. Aw, don't look at me that way."
"By now you should be used to it. First, I thought we'd walk the talk around the perimeter; get your thoughts on additional security measures."
"Sure. Just, ah, let me tell T.C. what I'm going to do. I'll be back up in a minute," he pats Higgins on a shoulder and goes back.
Higgins dusts off the shoulder and does an about face to head to the connecting room.
Magnum's Inner voice,
"Sounded easy. After all, it's what I get paid for. Funny thing about easy tasks; they start off simple, which leaves you with dread; they get harder and so do you; then they get blown out of proportion, you frustrated and off to the side there's a bunch of discarded fist punched canvasses. And then, suddenly, it becomes all crystal clear..."
Across the street a silver cadilac is parked and the driver is eying the perimeter with a pair of binoculers. He makes a few notes on a pad and then slowly moves off.
Magnum and T.C. are sitting at a table in Magnum's guest room. They are playing cards. Magnum comes forward from leaning in the chair.
"Come on T.C., you going to play or pounder? Higgins plays a faster game of chess."
"It's not your hard earned money on the line," replies T.C.
"Hard earned? You fly a helicopter. It's not like you're scrubbing the floors, or digging up rocks. Are you going to bet?"
"Yeah, but only cause I want to get this over with. What ever happened to friendly games?"
"Friendly ended five minutes ago," says Magnum. T.C. places some money down, "there you go. Now that wasn't so hard."
"Yeah, yeah."
Magnum's voice-over thought starts...
"T.C. and I used to play cards regularly. But since I started working for Robin Masters, we haven't been able to find the time we used to. I'd always be busy, or he'd be at work..."
T.C. places some more money into the tally.
"...which left me with a lot of free time. I picked up a few hobbies, of course I dare not tell him counting cards was one of them. When he came down the stairs and placed his coat on the dresser, near the book, I damn near had a heart attack," he smiles.
"What are you smiling about?" asks T.C.
"Nothing, just thinking about something that happened earlier."
"You got a Flush, or something. Nothing tickles you as much as to see me go broke."
"It's two dollar limit game. You telling me two dollars in a few games of Stud Poker is going to make or brake you?" asks Magnum.
"Well, it sure wouldn't hurt," he eyes Magnum suspiciously, "I'm keeping an eye on you," and points a finger.
"What?" Magnum laughs.
The voice-over starts again,
"It was then the hairs on my neck stood on end. All at attention and waiting for their drill instructor who would no doubt find flaws."
The door opens and in steps Higgins. He walks down the steps.
"Hello Higgins. Care to join us for a game? Light up a cigar and pretend to be one of the boys?" Magnum and T.C. laugh.
"Poker is a game for ship faring tallymen and pub patroning, billiard playing souses who gamble away their fortune in an inebriated attempt to have selfaggrandilizing drollery. Besides that, Poker is a blatant rip-off of the Latin game, Poque."
"So I guess that means no," Magnum and T.C. laugh again.
"If you're quite done with this mockery of a game, I need to see you upstairs."
"Not now Higgins, we're playing cards."
"Mister Magnum, some things are more important that a game of cards," says Higgins.
"You're precisely right; like having a day off. Oh, wait - today is one of those days!" exclaims Magnum.
Higgins looks at Thomas's cards. He lifts up the one laying face down and says, "A Royal Flush. I see bluffing is not lost upon you."
"Hey! Come on now! That wasn't right and you know it."
"Mister Masters does not pay you to sit on your rear and play games."
"He doesn't have to pay me when I'm off the clock. Remember? I said I was taking Thursday off?"
"You don't have Thursday off," replies Higgins.
"Now I know for a fact I told you. You were painting that picture of your dogs. I heard you acknowledge me," rebukes Magnum.
"I did."
"There you go. See, I told you."
"So you must also remember that right after that acknowledgment I told you that you needed to follow the proper procedure and file a request-for-a-day-off slip. Surely you must recall."
Magnum slams a hand on the table top.
"Yeah, I do, but I don't want to. Can't we just look past this little infraction and towards me having a bright and sunny day off?" persuades Magnum.
"It's rather doubtful. Now if you're done taking all this poor man's money, I expect to see you upstairs in a bit."
"All right, just give me a few minutes."
"Yes," Higgins walks back up and out.
Inner monologue.
"Higgins sure loves his paperwork. Accounting for every item. You couldn't get past that man with a stick of gum without a hand stretched out in anticipation for a receipt. I'm not saying the man is tight, but I.R.S. workers envy him and I half expect H & R Block to send letters of congratulations. Over there he must be a hero with a really large gold statue ... whose work expenses were all accounted for..."
"Tell you what, Higgins is making me feel a little guilty; you keep the money. I'm going to go see what he wants," Magnum takes a mild pace to and up the stairs out.
T.C. collects his money and Magnum's.
"Guilt never felt so good."
Magnum walks into the living room.
I hope you're happy, you ruined out game. For someone who seems to be so posh and full of manners, you sure did make one heck of a faux pas."
"Only a minor one. I had no idea interrupting two friends shamming one another constituted a social blunder."
"I wasn't shamming. I was slowly increasing my net value," says Magnum coyly.
"Ah, I see. So you were depreciating his balance for your gain through coy friendly deception. It's all becoming clear now," replies Higgins.
"Higgins, you'd describe love unpleasantly if someone else was enjoying it and you weren't. Now you can either tell me why I'm up here, to watch me go back to grifting my friend."
"Lou Lantele."
"Lou Lantele?"
"The famous artist. Surely you've heard of him? He's been making quite the name for himself in the art world."
"Yeah, I know who. He did that Honolulu sunset. The one with the purples and pinks. Beautiful painting. Is he coming here?"
Him and Mister Masters were friends. They attended college together and Masters generously offered to showcase his works here at the mansion."
"You're going to let a bunch of strangers into the mansion? You won't even let my friends in sometimes!" says Magnum angrily.
High class strangers who pay a 120 entrance fee. Important people and important property need proper security."
"Say that five times fast. Aw, don't look at me that way."
"By now you should be used to it. First, I thought we'd walk the talk around the perimeter; get your thoughts on additional security measures."
"Sure. Just, ah, let me tell T.C. what I'm going to do. I'll be back up in a minute," he pats Higgins on a shoulder and goes back.
Higgins dusts off the shoulder and does an about face to head to the connecting room.
Magnum's Inner voice,
"Sounded easy. After all, it's what I get paid for. Funny thing about easy tasks; they start off simple, which leaves you with dread; they get harder and so do you; then they get blown out of proportion, you frustrated and off to the side there's a bunch of discarded fist punched canvasses. And then, suddenly, it becomes all crystal clear..."
Across the street a silver cadilac is parked and the driver is eying the perimeter with a pair of binoculers. He makes a few notes on a pad and then slowly moves off.