I wrote this at 4:00 this morning so I'm not sure if it even makes sense.
It makes sense to me, but usually that's how these things work. I'm not
sure what the point is either. I was looking through past reviews and some
little twit wanted to know why I make people gay and a few other
interesting comments that followed in other reviews. But this came from
that and so yeah, enjoy if you can understand.
I think I mixed up my past and present tenses, but eh, I'm lazy and trying to finish the next chapter to Tis the Season. I'm sure you've all read worse anyway.
January 25, 2004
To be great, is to be misunderstood - Anonymous
- - -
Nobody understood. Well, nobody really tried to understand. I was used to that though, we both were, so it was of little consequence in our lives. We continued living our lives with the understanding that we were misunderstood and those who 'loved' us didn't want to understand.
Perhaps I should explain what should be understood.
Him. And I. Together. That was what should have been understood, but that was what nobody could understand.
Perhaps my words would make more sense if I were to explain that I was a male and so was he. And by together I mean T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R. He was my lover, my heart, my soul, and my entire life.
Apparently this life was the wrong choice, and that apparently I couldn't understand the error of my ways by loving him. Though I couldn't understand the concept of not loving him since I couldn't remember a time when my heart didn't beat in time with his. And I truly did not want to face a time when our hearts wouldn't beat together.
What 'they' (I shall get to that in a moment) didn't understand, was that we were everything to each other. The words 'soul mates' come to mind, but it goes beyond even that. He's practically in my head while I am in his. We completed each other in a way that nobody could hope to understand, but that wasn't what we were asking for. We wanted them to understand that we loved each other, and that there was nothing else to it.
Of course, they didn't understand.
Oh yes. 'They'. They, being our 'friends' and 'family'. It's truly a classic story. Two boys deeply in love 'come out' to their loved ones and are rejected and abandoned to live in their life of sins.
We did not 'come out'. There was no reason for that. I loved him, only him, no other man. Did loving just one person, despite their gender give me a preference? I preferred him above no other, and had he been female, it would have been the same.
Were we rejected? Oh definitely. Were we abandoned to live in our lives full of sin? I could only wish. Abandonment seems like a gift from whatever god still listens to my prayers in comparison to the abuse we go through.
Oh no, not physical abuse. Everyone knows what would happen if they harm one sliver strand on my lover's head. At least they can understand that. I'm speaking of mental and emotional abuse, annoying abuse that we endure every single day. Our 'friends' and 'family' don't even realize that they're doing it, but their words hurt.
My heart and I do not want to be 'saved' and if my sister so much as tries to set me up with one of her 'lady friends', I will slit her throat.
My heart, how I love him, is sensitive to their comments and they don't understand that their words of 'help', their promises to make him 'better', to rid him of his shameful life, hurt him. My own heart breaks when I have to hold him as he cries, sorrow filling his soul, and in turn filling mine. They just don't understand why we're drawn to each other and they probably never will.
"Malik?" Ryou's sleepy voice was still heavy from his tears, even after sleeping for a few hours. "You're tense." He whispered, kissing the bronzed skin along my neck.
"Just thinking."
He smiled, and that is one of the many reasons I love him. It warms me, fills every empty spot in me and because I am so greedy, I make him smile as often as I can. "Think later, cuddle now." He mumbled.
And as his smaller form cuddled close against mine, fitting perfectly with every curve and limb, I wish they could understand.
He makes me complete. He is not half of my soul; he is my entire soul. He does not hold my heart, he is my heart. He is my everything in this life and no matter how many times I have to kiss his tears away, or no matter how many times I have to reassure him that he owns me, I continue to do so, just to make him understand.
People are afraid of what they don't understand, and for some reason, they don't want to understand us. So we will live our lives being misunderstood, understanding that close-minded people don't want to understand.
Understand?
- - -
Probably not, but that's beside the point. ^_^
And really, 'understand', 'understood', 'misunderstood' and so on, are supposed to be there that many times. It was done purposely.
I think I mixed up my past and present tenses, but eh, I'm lazy and trying to finish the next chapter to Tis the Season. I'm sure you've all read worse anyway.
January 25, 2004
To be great, is to be misunderstood - Anonymous
- - -
Nobody understood. Well, nobody really tried to understand. I was used to that though, we both were, so it was of little consequence in our lives. We continued living our lives with the understanding that we were misunderstood and those who 'loved' us didn't want to understand.
Perhaps I should explain what should be understood.
Him. And I. Together. That was what should have been understood, but that was what nobody could understand.
Perhaps my words would make more sense if I were to explain that I was a male and so was he. And by together I mean T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R. He was my lover, my heart, my soul, and my entire life.
Apparently this life was the wrong choice, and that apparently I couldn't understand the error of my ways by loving him. Though I couldn't understand the concept of not loving him since I couldn't remember a time when my heart didn't beat in time with his. And I truly did not want to face a time when our hearts wouldn't beat together.
What 'they' (I shall get to that in a moment) didn't understand, was that we were everything to each other. The words 'soul mates' come to mind, but it goes beyond even that. He's practically in my head while I am in his. We completed each other in a way that nobody could hope to understand, but that wasn't what we were asking for. We wanted them to understand that we loved each other, and that there was nothing else to it.
Of course, they didn't understand.
Oh yes. 'They'. They, being our 'friends' and 'family'. It's truly a classic story. Two boys deeply in love 'come out' to their loved ones and are rejected and abandoned to live in their life of sins.
We did not 'come out'. There was no reason for that. I loved him, only him, no other man. Did loving just one person, despite their gender give me a preference? I preferred him above no other, and had he been female, it would have been the same.
Were we rejected? Oh definitely. Were we abandoned to live in our lives full of sin? I could only wish. Abandonment seems like a gift from whatever god still listens to my prayers in comparison to the abuse we go through.
Oh no, not physical abuse. Everyone knows what would happen if they harm one sliver strand on my lover's head. At least they can understand that. I'm speaking of mental and emotional abuse, annoying abuse that we endure every single day. Our 'friends' and 'family' don't even realize that they're doing it, but their words hurt.
My heart and I do not want to be 'saved' and if my sister so much as tries to set me up with one of her 'lady friends', I will slit her throat.
My heart, how I love him, is sensitive to their comments and they don't understand that their words of 'help', their promises to make him 'better', to rid him of his shameful life, hurt him. My own heart breaks when I have to hold him as he cries, sorrow filling his soul, and in turn filling mine. They just don't understand why we're drawn to each other and they probably never will.
"Malik?" Ryou's sleepy voice was still heavy from his tears, even after sleeping for a few hours. "You're tense." He whispered, kissing the bronzed skin along my neck.
"Just thinking."
He smiled, and that is one of the many reasons I love him. It warms me, fills every empty spot in me and because I am so greedy, I make him smile as often as I can. "Think later, cuddle now." He mumbled.
And as his smaller form cuddled close against mine, fitting perfectly with every curve and limb, I wish they could understand.
He makes me complete. He is not half of my soul; he is my entire soul. He does not hold my heart, he is my heart. He is my everything in this life and no matter how many times I have to kiss his tears away, or no matter how many times I have to reassure him that he owns me, I continue to do so, just to make him understand.
People are afraid of what they don't understand, and for some reason, they don't want to understand us. So we will live our lives being misunderstood, understanding that close-minded people don't want to understand.
Understand?
- - -
Probably not, but that's beside the point. ^_^
And really, 'understand', 'understood', 'misunderstood' and so on, are supposed to be there that many times. It was done purposely.