Note: A big shout out to Chloe for the inspiration. An even bigger Bravo Zulu to my crack Beta squad for their assistance in polishing this story up. Thank you all very much.

Selfish Little Secrets

By

Caribou Kid

"ENOUGH! I'm not giving you another damn drop!" The irate voice of Lee Crane, captain of the SSRN Seaview, blasted through the door and walls of his room and down the Med Bay hallway. The outburst immediately reached the nurse's station making them all cringe and give serious thought to evacuating the wing. In addition to the Med Bay staff, the adamant declaration was also heard by Admiral Harriman Nelson, founder and director of the Nelson Institute of Marine Research, and Chip Morton, Seaview's Executive Officer, as they exited the elevator and made their way down the corridor towards Lee's room.

"Damn it Lee, I'm just trying to do my job to ensure you're healthy and there are no side effects from that shot the admiral administered! Just suck it up and give me your arm," Jamieson thundered back.

"Uh oh," Chip remarked quietly. "I think Typhoon Lee has just hit shore and Hurricane Jamieson is close on its tail."

"Come on Chip, we best hurry before there's bloodshed and Jamie's the one making the donation," Nelson replied as they both quickened their pace to a near run down the hall to Lee's room.

"No! I've had enough. You've had me penned up here for over two weeks. There have been no negative side effects from the injection. You yourself have stated that my vitals are text book perfect, there have been no indications of any foreign compounds in my bloodstream for over a week, no signs of genetic mutation, and no lingering nightmares to deal with. You have no reason for keeping me here. I AM going home," Lee replied as he walked across the room opened the wardrobe and started to pull out his jeans and shirt.

"Just where the hell do you think you're going? I haven't released you yet, Captain," Jamie fired back. "You're not cleared for duty so there's no way you're going to get on Seaview without my okay."

Lee's face clouded and he narrowed his eyes as he regarded the CMO. "I'm going home. If the only way I can do that is to resign, then so be it, but one way or the other I'm outta here," he replied in a low and menacing tone.

Jamie stepped back stunned by Lee's response. "And you don't think that response is unusual or out of character?!"

"It's perfectly within character. I'm tired of being held prisoner; there is no justifiable reason for me to still be incarcerated in this room given all the tests you've performed. I've had it Jamie. If resigning is the only way I get my life back, then that's what's gonna happen," he replied frigidly causing the physician to shiver involuntarily. "I want my life back to normal," he added in a softer voice.

The door to Lee's room suddenly swung open. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's all this talk about resignations and getting out of prison?" Harri said as he and Chip entered the room.

The two combatants exchanged glares momentarily as each prepared to launch in to his side of the argument and make a bid for Nelson's and Morton's support. "Admiral…" "Harri…" they both started and quickly were faced with Nelson's hands held up in front of them tacitly ordering both to be quiet.

"Now, that's better," Nelson started. "Jamie, you first."

Lee glared at Harri, spun around and stalked over to the window like a petulant child. He stared out the glass at the scenic view below, one that included the sight of his gray lady Seaview, basking in the morning sun. She always worked as a balm to calm his frustrations and emotions and he banked on her beauty to do that now, allowing him to hold on to any chance of civility when given his opportunity to speak.

The other three men in the room exchanged startled looks at the breach in etiquette and decorum that Lee Crane was renowned for maintaining despite the situation. Chip shrugged and shot Nelson and Jamieson a quick embarrassed grin, knowing exactly how tight his best friend and captain was now wound.

"Admiral, as I was trying to explain to the captain, I just want to make sure that there are no lingering aftereffects from that injection you gave him following your return from Odeja 1. His recovery was phenomenal to say the least, and I still have no idea how those chemicals worked to reverse his condition and initiate regeneration of his damaged organs. We have no idea if there are long lasting impacts that could endanger his life. I don't feel comfortable having him too far away from medical attention should something trigger yet another response from the shot," Jamie explained calmly, casting the occasional glare towards the back of his unwilling patient.

Not waiting for the admiral's okay to respond, Lee spun around quickly facing the men behind him. "And just how long is that going to take? You've yet to provide me any answer to that question. You've done nothing but take samples of my blood and any other type of fluid my body produces and run test upon test finding absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life penned up in this room until you 'feel comfortable' that I'm not going to transform into some alien monster or explode because my organs continue to grow. I want out and I want out now," Lee replied. "Jamie, you know I appreciate all you've done for me, many times saving me from myself, but enough on this front. Either let me go, or so help me I will resign from NIMR and the Navy just to escape," Lee stated adamantly.

Nelson and Morton were stunned by Lee's words and the emotion behind them, not doubting for a moment that he wouldn't hesitate to act on his threat. Even Jamie was taken aback by his candor and ultimatum.

"Lee, son, please relax, let's not make any rash decisions," Harri said as he tried desperately to defuse the situation. "I can understand both your positions, let's see if we can find a compromise satisfactory to you both."

"Admiral, there is no compromise other than releasing me from Med Bay and letting me return to my boat and my life," Lee replied calmly.

"Admiral…" Jamie began.

Harri raised his hand staying the doctor's response. "Is what Lee said true, Jamie?"

"Well, yes… technically speaking it's true, but I'm not even completely sure what I should be testing for, for the most part," Jamie replied.

"Then you have no need for me to be here," Lee answered pouncing on Jamie's reply. "I'm not going to keep living in this box and surrendering parts of my body until you find the right rock. Admiral, please set your captain free."

Harri tried desperately to tamp down the smile at Lee's impassioned plea, but just couldn't do it as his lips turned up at the corners and a slight chuckle escaped. He could relate all to easily to the younger man's plight having been subjected to the good doctor's need for thoroughness and certainty before willing to let his patients wander off. He could also see things from Jamieson's side as well, but without any concrete proof that there were some rogue compounds lurking around in Lee's body just waiting for the opportunity to transform him into something else, he had to side with Lee.

Will frowned at the chuckle knowing immediately and probably quite fairly he had lost. "Very well, I'll turn you loose…for now, but there are some stipulations to that freedom," he offered.

Lee eyed him warily since Jamieson's stipulations tended to amount to the same type of control just in a different box. "What stipulations?"

Jamie smiled at Lee's cautious reply. "First, you will not return to full duty for the next three weeks. You will take some time off to just relax. Second, you will allow me to siphon you off from time to time just to satisfy my niggling feeling that not everything has presented itself as a result of that injection."

"Three weeks?! All I've been doing is resting since we got back from that damn planet. If you want me to rest then let me go back to work," Lee thundered back.

"I said relax, not rest. You need to get completely away from here and just recharge; reclaim your center as it were. Is that really too much to ask, Captain?"

Lee glowered at him preparing his retort, but before he could speak Nelson jumped in to disarm the combatants. "That's an excellent idea Jamie. I think three weeks off sailing on the Necessity would just fit your prescription. Lee and I have a number of things we need to discuss and I could go for a break as well. Will that suffice, Doctor?"

A broad smile spread across Jamie's face. "That fits my prescription to a 'T' since I was going to be speaking with you later about getting away as well."

"How about you Lee? Are you up to taking me out on your boat for a sail down Mexico way?"

Lee released a frustrated sigh at having been deterred from his return to his gray lady. Grudgingly he replied, "Sure, Admiral that would be great. I've been trying to get you out for more than a day sail anyway. I guess now is as good a time as any."

"Well don't sound so enthusiastic about it," Harri laughed. "Come on, it'll be fun. We'll head down to Baja, do a little fishing, some diving, whatever. Just hang out for a change; no business, no hassles."

Lee finally relented and let a broad grin spread across his face. "You've got a deal, sir. Now where are my clothes?"

"There's a second part to that Commander, remember?" Jamie chimed in.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll bleed for you when I get back," Lee responded as he pulled open the wardrobe and started throwing his clothes onto the bed, then gathered them up and headed to the restroom to change.

"So, you up for some pizza and beer tonight?" Chip asked as he watched the robe and pajamas come flying out of the head.

"You had me at pizza."

Jamieson rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperated amusement. Harri and Chip chuckled as well. Five minutes later Lee emerged fully dressed and made a beeline for the nightstand to collect his wallet and keys.

"Is my car still here or did someone take it to my house?"

"It's still here," Harri answered. "Try to keep it reasonably around the speed limit when you head for home. We don't need you back in here due to an accident."

Lee smiled wickedly, bounced his eyebrows, and nodded. "I shall try my best, sir," he answered with a laugh. "So, am I free to go, Dr. Jamieson?"

"Yes, you are free to go as long as you go nowhere near the office or the boat. Is that understood?"

"Yes Doctor," Lee answered as though responding to a nagging mother. "So, are you all coming over for pizza and beer?"

"I'm going to beg off tonight, Lee. I need to clear my calendar and tie up some loose ends before we head out for our sail. I'll get with you tomorrow morning and we can start planning things out," Harri responded.

"I think you've had more than enough of my company for the time being as well. Have a good evening and take it easy," Jamieson replied.

"Will do, and sincerely, thanks for everything Jamie," Lee said with a smile. "All right, I'm outta here before he changes his mind. See you when you get off-duty Chip. Ta ta all." Lee scampered down the hall and freedom as laughter from his friends marked his retreat.

(o1ooo

It was nearly 1800 when Chip arrived at Lee's beach house with the promised pizza and beer. He grabbed his gym bag, dinner, and brews from the back seat and headed for the house. He bypassed the front door and ambled around back to the spacious deck where Lee spent the majority of his time when home. As expected, his friend and CO was stretched out on a lounge chair wearing only a ratty pair of cutoff denim shorts soaking up the evening sun and taking in the view of the inside of his eyelids. He reminded Chip of a large cat stretched out sunning itself. He looked completely relaxed and out of it, yet knew his arrival had most likely been noted the minute he turned down the gravel driveway.

"Hey Lee, dinner is here," Chip called out as he mounted the steps to the deck.

Lee cracked open an eye and regarded his friend for a moment before smiling and rising to his feet. "Bout time, I was becoming more than a little parched," he said as he took the proffered rack of beer and set it on the table. He pulled out two bottles and quickly relieved them of their caps. As he took a big slug he passed the second bottle to Chip who rapidly followed Lee's lead.

"Ah, nectar of the gods," Chip said as he pulled off his tie and unbuttoned his collar. "You been out here all day?"

Lee smiled and took another swig. "The better part of it. After being cooped up in Med Bay for what seems forever I had little tolerance for walls and a ceiling. I had to do some quick combat with a few things left in the fridge far too long but after that I've done little else than play sun sponge."

"Well you had the perfect day for it," Chip replied with a laugh.

"So, what did you get to eat?"

"Picked up a Bella Vista House Special with just about everything on it but the kitchen sink."

"Sounds great. Why don't you go change and I'll get the plates and napkins?"

Chip nodded in agreement and executed a crisp about face and headed for the back bedroom to change clothes while Lee went to the kitchen grabbing plates, napkins, dried red peppers, parm, pickled jalapenos, and garlic to dress up the pizza. As Chip walked out to the deck now clad in a t-shirt and shorts, Lee had already pulled up the second lounge chair next to the small table and had the pizza, plates, and add-ons laid out, along with a small bucket filled with ice and a number of bottles of beer chilling. They grabbed their seats then raised their bottles in a silent toast and took another deep draw of the golden brew.

"Ahhhhhh. That truly hits the spot," Lee said as he set his bottle on the deck next to him then grabbed a plate and placed a large slice of pizza on it. He quickly added the few missing ingredients and took a huge bite out of the tasty triangle. "Damn good call, Morton. This is great."

Chip smiled and replied around a huge mouthful of pizza, "You're welcome." They quickly wolfed down their first slice then sat back and watched the surf for a few minutes as things settled. "So, you all jazzed about your trip down to Mexico?"

"Yeah, I am actually. I will be out of Jamie's immediate reach and it will be great to be out in the open air and afloat again. I'm also looking forward to finally being able to talk with the admiral about all that happened without worrying about being interrupted. He's still carrying around some serious guilt after what occurred on Odeja," Lee explained.

"You're right, he definitely is. We all recognize that he had no other choices but he still clings to the feeling he somehow let you down. I don't envy you the task of convincing him otherwise. He latches on tenaciously to his perceived shortcomings much like someone else I know, who shall remain nameless."

Lee glared at Chip for a moment then relented as the other man just smiled at him, as he had too recognized the truth in what he had just said. "Well nothing makes you feel more inadequate than not being able to help your friends. You aren't much better in handling that failing yourself."

Chip shrugged then reached over, grabbed another slice of pizza and took a big bite. "Have any idea how far down you're going to go?"

"I would kind of like to go to La Paz, but we'll see. We haven't had a chance to sit down and plot this out," Lee responded as he too snagged another slice. They ate quietly for a moment watching the tide move further up the shoreline. "He wants me to take over the Institute when he retires," Lee said quietly. Chip swallowed his bite, shrugged, and just smiled as though that was old news.

"You don't seem the least bit surprised about that," Lee remarked noting Chip's less than shocked response.

"I'm not. It seems everyone but you and the admiral have freely acknowledged the close relationship you two have. You're the ones that seem bent on denying what is plainly evident," Chip replied with a chuckle. "I'm a little surprised that it's taken this long to make it official. I'm guessing that is one of the things you two are going to talk about on this trip."

"Yep, you got that right. I'm concerned that he may be making this grand gesture as a way to make up for the events on Odeja. I don't want that to be the case. We spoke a little about it when he first came to in Med Bay, after our meeting up in the penthouse. He assures me that he already had this planned, but I'm not totally convinced," Lee replied truthfully.

"As I said Lee, you two are the only ones that have trouble accepting how much you mean to each other. I wouldn't doubt for a second that he's been planning this for quite some time. You are family to each other every bit as much as you and I are brothers. It's been obvious since you two first met at Annapolis that there's been a bond between you, and that bond has morphed and grown stronger as you've gone through the years. I think it really turned into a true father/son relationship after you finished your tour on the Nautilus. Once you returned from that deployment, the way you talked about him and responded to him was different, more familiar. You spoke of him the way I speak of my dad," Chip explained.

Lee just stared at Chip startled at how transparent his feelings towards the admiral were to everyone around him. He blushed a bit at finding out what a bad actor he really was. "Wow, I'm that blatant?"

"You both are," Chip said with a laugh. "Once you came on board, the admiral's whole demeanor changed. He almost instantly seemed more open and willing to listen. He lightened up quite a bit as well and became immediately more approachable to everyone on the boat. He knew we would all support him and do everything we could for him, but with you there, it was as though he knew you personally had his back. He had someone he implicitly trusted and had a sounding board who would give him a truthful answer whether it was the one he wanted or not. You have a great deal of influence over him, which is probably why Starke is such a hard ass when it comes to you. He's concerned for his friend."

"Well the reverse is true as well. He's been that one person I've looked up to since the Academy, probably even before. His inventions have always awed me much like his exploits when I was a kid at Farragut. I never in my wildest dreams figured I'd get to meet him let alone serve under him, or call him one of my closest friends. To find out how highly he regards and values me is sometimes just too much to comprehend," Lee admitted honestly. They returned to their companionable silence and once more turned their attention to the surf as it reached further ashore. "So how are things on Seaview?" Lee asked after a bit.

Chip laughed. "That was a subtle change of topic. I guess were done delving into your deepest, darkest emotions."

"You are correct, sir," Lee replied and laughed as well. "That was more touchy-feely than I really wanted. So how are things on my gray lady?"

ooolo)

At promptly 1000 the following morning, Lee stepped out of his house just as Harri drove up the driveway. He waved and smiled at his friend and walked towards the vehicle. As the car pulled to a stop, he headed to the passenger side, opened the door and climbed in. "Morning, sir."

"Morning, Lee. Did you and Chip have a good evening?"

"Yes, we did. Good food and drinks and some rather illuminating conversation," Lee replied.

"Really? What was the topic?" Harri inquired.

"Oh, it's something I think we should save for the trip. So, what's on the agenda for today?"

"Well, we need to head to the store and get the necessary provisions for our jaunt, drop those off at the boat, then find some place to eat lunch and discuss the particulars of our trip. How does that sound, son?"

"Sounds like an excellent course of action, sir. We also need to hit the sailing shop and pick up some charts, I don't have a set for that far south," Lee answered. "So, any problems with your escape for the next couple of weeks?"

"No. I shuffled a few things off to the department heads and Seaview isn't scheduled to sail until after our return. I'm free as a bird until then. It's a rather liberating feeling, I may have to indulge in it more often," Harri replied with a wry smile.

"Not too often I hope," Lee replied smiling as well.

"Probably not," Harri quickly conceded. "Much like my captain, I hate being away from my boat and the sea. Is Costco okay to get our stores?"

"Of course, if we're going to be out for three weeks we're going to need quite a bit."

Harri nodded in agreement then put the car in gear and headed down the road. They chatted a little about the trip and what all they wanted to do during the course of their vacation. Once at the store, they loaded up on everything imaginable they could possibly want or need in the next three weeks, along with a good assortment of beers, tequila, and scotch.

As they waited in line to make their purchase, Lee just shook his head and laughed. "My god sir, it looks as though we're going on a yearlong expedition. If we run into foul weather that shipwrecks us on some deserted island, we just need to make sure we keep our stores intact and we can most likely live out our natural lives without needing a run to the grocery store."

Harri laughed as well. "You may be right, but then again I would hate to come up short."

Reaching the front of the line, Lee reached into his pocket and withdrew his wallet ready to purchase the entire lot. "Belay that Captain," Nelson said. "This one's on me, son. I've owed you this trip since Slovestein 2, and it's time for me to pay up. You're providing the boat, so it's the least I can do to outfit our expedition."

"You don't need to do that, sir, at least let me get half."

"Nope, this one's on me. I invited myself along so my treat. Please, Lee. When we go ashore you can buy me a margarita or a cerveza."

"All right, sir, if you insist," Lee conceded. "I'll hold you to the drinks though."

"Deal." Harri paid the cashier then they pushed the flatbed cart out to his Mercedes SUV and began loading their cargo. "Good thing I brought the big car," Nelson said with a chuckle as he struggled to get the last few items in.

They headed directly to the marina as planned and transferred their stores aboard Neccessity. Once everything was shipshape in Bristol fashion, Lee conducted a complete inspection of the boat to make sure there was nothing that needed attention before they left. He identified a few items, like extra scuba tanks, that needed to be added but was otherwise satisfied with the state of things.

That complete, they hit the boat shop picked up the charts Lee wanted and then headed off for lunch at Lee's favorite restaurant. They gave the waiter their order then sat back sipping on the cold beers that were quickly delivered. They spent a leisurely afternoon planning their trip and chatting about what was going on at NIMR.

By the end of lunch, it was decided that Cabo San Lucas would be their goal and if time allowed they would round the tip of the peninsula and hit La Paz. Harri dropped Lee off at his home and they would meet tomorrow at 0800 at the marina so they could catch the high tide and begin their trip.

(o1ooo

1 - All Things in Their Own Time

2 - A Surprising Shift