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The wonderful world of Harry Potter does not belong to me. This is just an excuse for me to take a cheap shot at Ron Weasley while earning points for my House
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A/N: Just a little fun during the summer before fourth year. Harry and Ron visit Hermione and, for once, have a time together that does not include possible death. Written for a thirdfloorcorridor contest. Huge kudos to my friend Erin for inspiring me.
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Harry Potter dragged his trunk up to the doorstep and sat down on it. Ron Weasley's luggage thudded to a stop just beside Harry's while Hermione Granger reached into her pocket for the house key.
"You know, it was real funny of your brothers and all, but the Dursleys are going to kill me next summer for what they did to Dudley's tongue."
"What are you talking about? It was brilliant! I would have given anything to see it swelling out of his mouth, the great lout…"
"Honestly Ron," Hermione snapped as she opened the door. "It isn't funny. At least Harry is being mature enough to realize that."
"Aww, come on Hermione, the pudding ball deserved it."
"And it was pretty cool," Harry grinned. I'm never going to forget how stupid Dudley looked when his tongue hit the floor-"
Hermione huffed. "You never stop to think about what could have happened! He could have choked on it! Maybe if your cousin had died over some stupid joke-"
Hermione's tirade was over before it had properly begun as she was cut off by her mother. The Granger household was far enough away from Hogwarts that Dumbledore had approved Harry for a visit. The Grangers had insisted that the trio spent at least part of the summer holidays at their home, as Hermione had already been with the Weasleys to the Quidditch World Cup and the Burrow. The three had been warned (at length, from Mrs. Weasley) that the Granger residence would not tolerate magic at all. They were not to touch their wands, as the Grangers had already gotten a warning for underage magic, and didn't want another. Unless the trio met with some dire emergency. Harry couldn't help thinking that, because of his tendency toward danger, he should probably have his wand in his pocket at all times, just in case.
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"Ron, this isn't rocket science!" Hermione's exasperated voice brought Harry out to the backyard. Ron was on his hands and knees in the flowerbeds, with a small pile of bulbs beside his knee.
"Harry, what's she on about? What's the garden got to do with fireworks?"
Harry picked up one of the bulbs and turned it over in his hand. "Nothing. It's a Muggle expression. I think rocket science has something to do with Muggle maths."
"Really hard Muggle maths. You have to make sure every single one of the calculations are right, or the whole thing blows up"
"Yes, Hermione." Harry looked down at Ron. "It's kind of like saying, 'This isn't N.E.W.T. potions.' So what have you done now?"
Hermione pointed to Harry's hand. "Look! He dug up all my mother's tulip bulbs! We are supposed to be weeding, Ronald!
"How am I supposed to tell? It was green, it was sticking out of the dirt, and it wasn't a flower!"
Harry rolled his eyes. "How do you do it at your house? I just had to learn which ones are weeds and which ones Aunt Petunia liked."
"Err…" Ron reddened. "I never had to do it. My mum just said some spells and most of the plants withered. I just had to pull them out."
Harry and Hermione exchanged a knowing glance. "I wish we could do that here." Hermione said.
"Yeah, me too. I'd probably have about half my life back if I never had to weed. Here, let me show you."
In about five minutes, all the tulip bulbs were buried again, and in another ten, the flowerbed was free of weeds.
Ron stood back and gazed at the soil in awe. "Wow, Harry. How did you get so fast?"
"Oh, the Dursleys made me weed a lot. I guess it's one of those jobs that I hated so much that I got really good at it."
"Like the dishes?" Hermione made a face.
"Yeah. It's a lot more fun when you're weeding with someone," Harry smiled.
"So 'Mione, what else is on the list? Maybe we could help with that too."
"You aren't much help, and don't call me 'Mione, Ron. I just have to clean the bathroom now."
Harry winced. "Please tell me it isn't as disgusting as Dudley's. I always had to scrub behind the loo, and that's just…"
"No! I wouldn't make you do that! We only have to clean the mirrors, bath, and counters really. I'll do the bath and the rest."
The three went into the house, up the stairs, and into Hermione's bathroom. As Harry looked around at the sink, bath and mirror, he thought of the Dursleys' bathroom and decided that the Granger house was a lot more welcoming. It didn't have the sterile snootiness that Aunt Petunia insisted upon.
"Okay, why don't you wipe off the counters, Harry? Ron can clean the mirror because it's the easiest thing to do." Ron began to protest, but shut his mouth. Hermione handed him the glass cleaner. "Just spray it on and wipe until the mirror is clean. It's easy."
Ron took the bottle gingerly, then aimed it at the mirror, pulling the handle in vain. Hermione sighed and turned the bottle to 'on'. "Come on Harry, let's go get some cloths. You'll need some cleaner too, the grout can be very stubborn-"
Hermione's voice faded as she and Harry went downstairs, leaving Ron alone in the bathroom.
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Ron faced the bathroom mirror with uncertainty. He tried squeezing the handle again, and this time, some liquid sprayed out- right into his face. Spluttering, Ron turned the bottle toward the mirror and squeezed again. More of the blue fluid shot onto the mirror and started dribbling down the glass. Ron started to panic. How was he supposed to wipe it off? Holding up the cleaner bottle, Ron tried to wipe the mirror with the label, but that only slowed the dripping.
"Well, bloody hell. It's not spongy enough."
He wiped the cleaner on his sleeve, then looked in the top drawer. A hairbrush and some hair clips were lying in the bottom. The next one had a toothbrush and toothpaste, but again, nothing for cleaning the mirror. Ron was getting exasperated by now, but when he opened the cupboard door, he found a small pile of yellow packages. Opening the top one, he grinned in relief. This was exactly what he was looking for.
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Hermione had seen some amazing things during her first three years at Hogwarts. She had certainly witnessed some really stupid things from Ron and Harry. Still, she was not prepared to see Ron Weasley in her bathroom, scrubbing off the mirror with a sanitary towel.
Hermione stopped in the doorway, her jaw dropped open, and she stared in horrified shock. If she had turned around, she would have seen Harry Potter's face reddening in a good impression of the infamous 'Weasley blush'. In front of her, Ron turned to her, his face plastered with a huge grin, which quickly weakened to a nervous smile as he read her discomfort.
Hermione felt frozen in place. What was she supposed to do? She looked at Harry, but he was pointedly staring at the opposite wall. Hermione could almost feel the heat radiating off of his face.
So Harry knew what was going on, or at least had a good idea. Ron seemed oblivious, but he did know that something was wrong. Through her uncertainty, Hermione heard a strangled laugh that Harry quickly coughed over. She wanted to turn and glare at him, but suddenly couldn't help laughing. Poor Ron stood in front of the mirror, dripping with glass cleaner, and looking very forlorn; for a Weasley. He looked very guilty, beaming Hermione an apology through his eyes, but at the same time, he obviously had no idea what he felt so sorry about, or why his method of cleaning had produced this kind of reaction. This, of course, only pushed Hermione into more giggles, finally ending in hysterical laughter as she and Harry held onto each other's arms. Ron put his cleaning supplies down and walked over to them, waiting in wounded indignation for them to settle down. As Hermione began to breathe deeply again, she pushed the boys out of the bathroom.
"Go, get out of here and find something to do. I'll finish up."
Ron turned to her with a plaintive expression. "But what did I do? I didn't mean to do anything wrong, honest!"
"I know, Ron. It's okay. I know it was an accident. Just don't expect an answer out of me, it's too embarrassing. I don't think Harry will tell you either. Just….ask next time."
Ron nodded, then closed the door gently. The moment he left, Hermione doubled over again, this time, her laughter was silent.