You Know I Love You
"You know I love you, Donna…."
What? Did he just say what I thought he said? He loves me? No, I didn't know. I knew you cared but I never thought it would go this far. What should I have said, "I love you, too, Harvey." I know I told him once I loved him like someone you saw only at holiday time, but that was so untrue. I have loved him ever since we first knew each other. Then I thought he only wanted me to work for him which I said I would do mainly because I did not want to lose him and if this meant that the only way I would be in his life was as his secretary and friend then so be it. The young Harvey Specter was ambitious and I knew he was not ready for a relationship. However, the older Harvey Specter had achieved his goals and he had tried to open his heart even if it were with other women. Because I thought that's what would make him happy. I didn't know I could make him happy except for being his secretary and protecting him when I felt he was endangering himself. I also did not want to ruin our relationship. I know I want more, but is he ready for it? Am I ready for it?
Donna eventually moved away from the door and in a stupor found her way into her lonely bed. As she stared at the empty pillow beside her, she wished Harvey had stayed. She was certain the old Harvey would have not wasted a minute but jump her bones. This more mature Harvey was the man she knew he was deep inside. A man whom she wanted and loved like no other before or after and how their day would go tomorrow at the office, Donna could only lie there, cry from time to time as she thought of how deeply she really loved her boss and how much she had wanted him to stay.
Oh God, what did I do? I spoke the words aloud and told Donna I love her. She must have known. She looked shocked, though. I do not what's going to happen tomorrow when she comes in the office. Is she going to want more now that I have said it? Do I want more? I know that I never want to lose her. I do love her. How could she not have ever known that? What would have happened if I had broken her rule and stayed? Would it make tomorrow in the office better or worse?
Harvey contemplated these questions as he climbed into the back of the black Lexus parked out front of Donna's apartment building. Ray had deposited them both at the building a few hours ago. Ray had patiently been waiting for Harvey. However, Ray was happy that after three hours he had not driven off. He really thought that the boss would have stayed all night with Ms. Paulsen. It was evident to Ray how Harvey loved her. It was evident to Ray how Ms. Paulsen loved the boss. The only two that did not realize their love were those two. Ray never interfered in his boss' whereabouts or his love life. He just drove him and anyone Harvey Specter asked Ray to take them where they needed to go.