A/N: Okay, I know that as I haven't been dutifully updating 'Lupus Fortis', putting up oneshots makes me a very bad person indeed. But this idea kept bugging and bugging me and wouldn't leave me alone.
Basically, I'm sure we've all got our own ideas about what Remus and Tonks' last moments (sob) would be like or we've pictured them running to each other after the battle is declared over, both delighted that the other is alive and safe. But alas, that was not to be. However, what I personally had never thought about before was that calm before the storm and the call to arms itself. So I thought I'd give it a try and this is what I came up with. I hope you enjoy my interpretation – please let me know if you think I've done it right, wrong or somewhere in between.
As usual, I have no beta so all mistakes are mine alone and also, I just want to apologise that, although I am an insane HP fangirl, I'm actually pretty ill informed of the specific Battle details. I know what happened, who fought and who lived/died but m'afraid that in terms of chronology I'm pretty dire. So, I just imagine the call to come in the middle of the night, because that seems suitably angsty, but I apologise if it actually happened at three in the afternoon or something similr. Please don't be angry at me for not being in canon!
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, because if I did, after this scene they would have gone to battle and then come home again, to live happily ever after. Also, whilst on the note of all the things I'll never own, the songs 'The Call' by Regina Spektor and 'I'm Free (Heaven Helps The Man)' by Kenny Loggins, whose lyrics I've borrowed in my fiction and title, will never be mine.
Heaven Helps The Man
"It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye"
-/-/-
Remus Lupin was dozing idly in an armchair by the fire, across the hall the sounds of Tonks humming to a snoozing, sniffling Teddy filtered through to him. Being just a young baby, Teddy had taken to catching every winter lergy that had gone around like a Seeker catches a snitch and had been grumbly and slightly grumpy all week.
He ran a hand over his forehead and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing contentedly as he did so. Stretching in the chair he thought disinterestedly about getting up and going to bed but he was warm, cosy and comfy where he was and movement seemed entirely too frivolous and superfluous. No, he would just stay put until 'Dora was done with Teddy and convinced him to move.
It had been a wonderfully pleasant week, Remus (who was out of work) had been able to spend every waking moment, as well as the sleeping ones, with his wife and son and what could be better than that? It had been a wonderfully normal week of family bliss. He had never thought the simplest little things could make you so happy.
Little things like the way Teddy's eyes lit up when he saw his father and the way he snuggled into 'Dora's shoulder when she cradled him, mimicking whatever hair colour she had chosen that day. Or the way Teddy laughed and squirmed when his feet were tickled. It was exactly the same way in which 'Dora would squirm when Remus tickled her shoulders – looks wise Teddy was every bit his mother's son, although granted they could both change their appearance whenever they wanted (despite the fact that Teddy had yet to master this talent properly). Whenever Teddy slept, his hair would change back to the dark brown that Remus was so used to seeing on Dora when he woke beside her every morning. And when Teddy opened his eyes for the first time in the morning they would be the traditional dark colour of the Black family until he decided he much preferred to mimic the light hazel of his father's.
As for 'Dora, well Remus would never understand this apparent temptation to cheat on your wife during or just after their pregnancy because she was somehow less beautiful or attractive, although most men seemed unable to resist doing just that. 'Dora was never more beautiful than when she was wearing an oversized t-shirt or one of his old jumpers, the spare material pooling around her as she sat cross legged on the floor, cradling a delighted Teddy in her arms and she had never stopped being beautiful when pregnant, even at eight or nine months when she was at her biggest and was moody and uncomfortable most of the time.
On top of these feelings of being complete and carefree in his role as husband and father his worries about being too old, poor or dangerous, while still inside of him somewhere, were becoming more undetectable by the day and he couldn't seem to work out exactly where they lived anymore.
In his heart? Definitely not.
In his mind? No, they weren't plaguing his thoughts anymore.
In his gut? Perhaps.
It was certain that they were still present, but they were no longer the strongest voice within his head. Now, the voice that told him to do what he wanted was stronger and he was thankful for that, and of course to Harry, for setting him on the right path again.
"Remus?" a soft voice whispered, close to his ear. "Remus, are you awake?" a small hand found his shoulders and lips pressed into his hair.
"Mmhm," he mumbled, pulling himself out of the slumber curling gradually around him and forcing his eyes to open.
"Did I wake you?" 'Dora asked from where her head rested against his, her voice muffled slightly.
"No, I was just dozing. Is Teddy okay?"
"Yeah, I gave him some of this," she murmured pointing at a small, opaque bottle that was just poking out of her pocket, the bright orange label reading: 'Hipworth's Infant and Child Pepperup Potion'. She straightened up and stood over him, a few footsteps away. He heard her give a little moan and the popping of joints as she stretched out all the creases of the day. "I'm going to bed now, you coming?" she asked and it was normally a sentence laced with suggestion but, in this case, Remus was glad to hear the neutrality in her voice – the previous night Teddy had allowed them to drift into sleep just long enough to get settled and comfortable before fussing and crying in a manner that was impossible to ignore or pretend that he would settle down in a minute or two.
So, he allowed himself to be coaxed up and out of the armchair, partly at the thought of falling onto the firm, inviting mattress and under the soft covers of the bed, but also by the thought of 'Dora hovering just above the reach of his arms and lips, undoubtedly looking completely huggable and kissable. When he had covered the short distance between himself and his wife, he pulled her close with gentle arms and she buried her face in his chest unhesitatingly, her hands tracing circles between his shoulder blades. Slowly, his lips found hers, his tongue slowly trying to persuade them to part slightly, and he loved the way a quiet, calming peace settled so quickly between them, as if a gauzy sheet had dropped over them; there was no need to hurry or rush when it seemed as though they had all the time in the world. They had forever together and nothing was going to challenge that.
Gradually, they drifted apart and as Remus nuzzled her neck and kissed each rosy cheek in turn, 'Dora murmured,
"Sleep?" and he nodded, humming his agreement, his hands against either side of her jaw. He watched her face for a moment, before touching his nose to hers and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips.
"Come on then," he whispered and together they crept as quietly as possible into their bedroom so as not to wake a dormant Teddy.
Separately, but with a comfortable familiarity, they shed their clothes and Remus retrieved a set of pyjamas from the top drawer from the chest beside the bed. Stepping into the crisp trousers he held out the button-up shirt to 'Dora who wordlessly but willingly allowed him to button her into it, kissing her shoulders, neck and collarbone as he did so, his fingers brushing the pale skin of her stomach, now back to its post baby shape in both a morphed and natural state. They had shared pyjamas for as long as they had been together – it was a tradition that had gone unquestioned for all of time.
He went and checked on Teddy as 'Dora curled up under the covers, wriggling around until she was comfortable. Remus, scared to wake his son lest he refused to go back to sleep, pressed a kiss to two fingers and touched them gently to Teddy's forehead, the baby smiling sleepily but otherwise oblivious.
Slipping into bed beside 'Dora she slipped her arms around him in an instant, curling herself around his body and resting her head on his chest, above the resonations of his heartbeat.
And the Lupin family slept.
-/-/-
As the night progressed, the peaceful atmosphere was punctured as Remus began fidgeting here and there and stirring every so often. He was disturbed by a burning feeling on the skin below his right wrist. It was a sharp, picking feeling as though ants or similar insects were nipping at his flesh. It was uncomfortable and insistent but not painful exactly. Remus began unconsciously scratching the skin there but on the occasions he woke himself up he thought the odd sensation was just a dream. But soon, a little voice inside his head alerted him to the fact that there was something amiss and he jolted awake.
And the moment he had shaken off the confusion of slumber he knew that that one, singular burning sensation was enough to threaten the whole life he had delicately built up for himself. He knew that things might just come crashing down.
He had been called.
He rubbed the skin furiously as if angry at the flesh itself rather than the cause of the burning, praying he had imagined it in sleep, the way you imagine falling before waking with a start.
But he couldn't deny it was there, and when he finally summoned the courage to examine the pale skin just underneath the bruise-blue veins there was a tiny, almost imperceptible bird looking obstinately at him before fading away.
His heart had begun thudding in his chest and he felt as though it would be visibly beating under his skin, if only he cared to check.
Has Dora been called? Has she noticed? But his wife slept on beside him, as soundly as ever, oblivious to the call of the Order of the Phoenix.
A battle must have started somewhere, but where he could only wonder. He had never actually felt the Order's call before and wondered how Dumbledore had created it.
The old headmaster had decided that what could work for the Death Eaters could work for the Order too, but in a more subtle way and one that looked less like a prisoner or cult branding. Because there were so many of them in the Order by that point, Dumbledore had cast a spell whereby anyone who was sworn in as a member would feel a little burning sensation and see a little bird on his or her wrist when the need to act was upon them. It saved sending a Patronus or owls to lots of destinations at once and those options were not rapid enough anyway. And there had seemed no other plausible options available to them. Remus knew that Hermione, the genius she was, had used coins to communicate with their Defence group in their fifth year but there was no guarantee that any everyday objects would not be used or lost. So they'd borrowed a little bit of magic off Voldemort; only Order members did not have to wear the brand permanently and they did not have to answer any call in the way the Death Eaters did – there would be no punishment. Remus, for example, could choose to ignore the call and go back to sleep. But he knew deep down that, no matter what his misgivings were, he would not the call.
He slipped out of bed and paced the floor for a while, wondering what to do for the best.
Did he ignore the plight of his friends just to be selfish and stay where he wanted? No, he had had enough of being egotistical – granted, leaving 'Dora had once been the selfish option whereas now everything was in reverse, but he could not stay.
So, it must follow that he would have to risk his life and face the possibility head on that he might die, and never see his son again. And to think that he had gone back to 'Dora just over half a year ago only to leave her now was unbearable.
It was a Catch 22, but in the end he summoned all the Gryffindor courage he could find and pressed the two fingers he had touched to his son's forehead not a few hours earlier to the place where the little phoenix had been and, within seconds, had a sudden urge to go to Hogwarts. So, Voldemort had finally stormed the castle and Remus knew that he had no choice but to defend the place that was so very special to him. It had been the first place he had been truly accepted, the first place he found friendship that was blind to his lycanthropy and the place that had given him a year full of happiness while he taught Defence Against the Dark Arts there. And if that wasn't worth fighting for, then he didn't know what was.
More than that, he knew what all of those who were special to him would want to do. Had James, Lily and Sirius still been alive, they would have been in the grounds in the blink of an eye. Nymphadora, were she awake, would be there in a shot. But he would not disturb her. There was a difference between telling himself to be a man and forcing his own wife between a rock and a hard place. It was not as though she were opting out of the battle, she just hadn't felt the call. He had barely felt it himself. It wasn't insistent and demanding in the way Voldemort's Dark Mark was. It didn't require your self-sacrifice. But Remus knew that if he were to die in battle, then he would know that he had died fighting for a better future for his wife and son, rather than staying at home to leave the fighting to those such as the seventeen year old Harry Potter and his friends. Remus knew that he would rather die fighting on his feet, than cowering on his knees, knowing that he should have protected his family and stood up for what he believed in.
Quickly and quietly he dressed, determined not to wake 'Dora or Teddy and just as he had fastened his cloak he heard a slight stirring. His hand froze on the door and handle and he heard Teddy grumble in his sleep. His heart gave a pang at the thought of leaving him and 'Dora; that he might not see them again and that he hadn't even said goodbye properly. He turned around and saw 'Dora sitting up in bed, her hair ruffled adorably and a look of confusion on her face.
"Remus? Where are you going?" she asked quizzically, obviously still not fully awake.
Even in the seriousness of the whole situation Remus realised, with a slight grin, that it must look rather like he was sneaking out to a rendez-vous of some kind, an idea that he found so ludicrous it was amusing. But then he thought that 'Dora might be considering that very possibility or that he was going to leave again, citing too old, too poor, too dangerous. He noticed that she was impulsively clutching her right wrist. So, they had called her.
"I...I have to go somewhere," he tried lamely, clinging to the vain hope she would go to sleep and wake up later that day, when it was too late to join the battle. Better still, he wanted to wake up again himself to find that this was some nightmare.
Why now, when everything was so perfect?
"Where?" she asked, her voice strained and tears in her eyes. "Merlin, you're...you're not leaving again are you?"
"No, of course I'm not. I promised you when I came back that that would never happen again because I loved you – and Teddy – too much for that. I know where my place is and it's here," he protested sincerely and she seemed to believe him.
"Well then, just be honest, where are you going?"
He knew that he would rather she knew the truth then think he didn't love her or wasn't faithful.
"'Dora, I've been called to fight. You-Know-Who's at Hogwarts, they've called certain people to take up arms and, I'm sorry, I can't not go."
Her eyes widened and a few tears spilled out here and there.
"You can't go. What if you're injured...or worse? What about me and Teddy?" she asked quietly and he shook his head, walking over to the bed and perching beside her.
"Don't think like that. It won't be a serious battle. It'll be over in a few hours, so go back to sleep and I'll be home before you know it."
Maybe if he lied hard enough, he'd believe himself too. Maybe if he didn't draw attention to the call she'd received, she wouldn't even notice.
"I should come with you," she argued suddenly, "I'm an Order member after all, and an Auror. And look!" she exclaimed, gesturing to the tiny bird fading from her arm even as they spoke. "I've been called too."
"What about Teddy?" Remus queried. "He can't stay here on his own, someone'll have to stay," he insisted, out of desire to keep her at home and out of the way, rather than to make it sound like Teddy needed her with him. He was asleep and there were plenty of people that would sit with him while they both fought. He just knew that he would duel a lot better and wouldn't be distracted if he knew she was safe and sound. That way, they were both more likely to survive. "He needs his mum," Remus added and knew he had won. It wasn't often he came out of one of their discussions victorious and never would he normally take such pleasure from it.
He kissed her briefly, not wanting to hang on too long.
"I love you 'Dora. I always have. You and Teddy are the most important things in my life, you both are. Stay safe, please, I'll be back soon," he assured her, turning away.
"And, I love you," he repeated.
"Don't go," she tried to say, clambering out of bed but the words did not escape her lips properly and sounded scratchy and laboured.
"'Dora, I have to," he said and picked up his wand from the table by the front door. She tried to grab his arm but he was too quick. He had pictured Hogsmeade and had his eyes closed before he even got through the door.
As he Disapparated Remus Lupin, ex-Marauder, werewolf, husband of Nymphadora and father of Teddy heard his wife run to the fireplace with their son in her arms, howling indignantly at being so rudely awakened at such an unfavourable hour, but he pretended he had not noticed.
He prayed that she was going to stay at her mother's house with Teddy, too upset to sleep alone in their bed. But she had felt the call and the Auror in her would no more allow her to willingly sit on the sidelines than the mother in her would allow her to abandon their son. He prayed that if he saw her again, it would not be in the mélange in the corridors at Hogwarts but at home, sleeping peacefully.
But they had promised to stay together, side by side, til death do us part and there was no breaking an Unbreakable Vow.
-/-/-
"Heaven helps the man who fights his fears"
A/N: Voila, a bit of a contrast of pure fluff and pure angst, I know. I hope I did the scene some justice and that the characters were okay.
I basically just wanted to capture that idea that one minute everything can be running perfectly, but it only takes one little thing to bring it all to pieces around you. Woah, I just realised how angsty I sounded. I guess I've had to read too much war literature/watch the films for my studies recently and thing I find most heartbreaking is that idea that a few people can order millions to fight and suddenly any number of happy husbands, fathers and sons are lost. Sorry, enough angst and rambling on my part there. Anyway, if I managed to capture one tenth of that, I'll be happy, so let me know.
Also, although I was pretty happy with this one, we fanfic-ers never do now if what we wanted came out onto the page and, well I'd love for you to let me know what I can improve for any subsequent fanfictions, particularly as I have one in progress. Seriously, you'd make my day!
Thanks for reading and in advance for pressing the review button!