My paws hit hard against the wilderness floor, though I barely seemed to notice. I was moving quickly, running away. There was nothing I felt I could do, it was pointless. She was going to marry the bloodsucker. I was left behind, I was losing her. My Bella! Heaving a huge gust of air into my lungs, I felt somewhat relieved. I was still breathing, though it felt utterly pointless. I couldn't give up. I knew it'd be too painful for her to bear. Everything I've ever said to her doesn't feel like enough.
For the most part my breathing even, I had to keep running. There was only so much time I had, so much will power before I broke down. My mind was taking its toll on both my wolf and human form. Not even phasing seemed to stop the feelings.
Her piercing pleas for me to live during the battle still remained fresh within my mind. I knew there was nothing I could do, the fighting was pointless. I had to surrender to the damned vampire. He'd proved himself worthy of her love, he was her drug.
Knowing at one point, I was capable of warming her day just hurt the most. Soon she would be cold as stone, emotionless. A complete stranger to the girl I love. The thoughts were driving me mad, my pace seeming to quicken.
I was flying, though it didn't feel like much of a difference. There was no escaping it. These feelings would forever tear into my mind. Nothing could be undone. I may have one a battle or two, but I'd completely lost the war.
My breathing even to my own ears, the rhythm felt fake. I knew it wasn't long before I'd have to phase into Jacob Black. The hate I held for myself never seemed to stop growing. I was still her Jacob.