hey, this is RamenProductions. This is my first story on so please be nice!! This can be used for any pairing, but I thought of Sasunaru for it. R&R flames welcome, but I'll use them to toast marshmellows!!

DISCLAIMER: i don't own naruto...(yet. laughs evilly)

To lose the sun

Cold. So cold. It's so so terribly cold. And there's no way to warm your soul. For him, the sun is just a distant memory, a faded dream. It's a sheer thought(more like the best-most amazing fantasy)or the nostalgia for what once was. But to remember, that would be too painful. Much, much, more painful. It would be far worse than this. This staring, eyes distant, looking into the nothingness that is. Far, far, worse; for more terrible things have not happened. Though the world keeps turning and life goes on (for everyone else, that is) but to find real, true love and then to have it ripped angrily from your grasp, it's just too much. The pain-oh the pain! It kills you inside. Outward, you're the same, stoic, angry, maybe. But always calm and collected. But really you just want to scream to the world, "FUCK YOU!" because you're coming apart at the proverbial seams.

So he closes in on himself. Becomes an empty shell of what he was. When the sun is gone, and the stars disappear, you're stuck with one eternal night. Previously his favorite time of day. Night. But not anymore, not after he met him. His life might as well have ended; for all he knows(or cares) it did. He was his life. He was his world. It seems now that everything had revolved around him. 'The Boy Who Came To Stay' you think bitterly. That's right, came to stay, meaning eventually he'll leave. He'll go back to where he came from, like the birds who migrate south, it's only a temporary situation. Temporary. Life is only a temporary state, a teaser of the world, of what could be. Why had fate decided to do this to him? Why did he fall in love with a boy whose destiny was to go? The one single person who could see through his façade. And to break through it. Even though, deep down, they all knew it would end up this way. He went along with it. All of it, every fake smile, each lie. All to hold back the tears, and the sorrow. And see where he ended up? Nowhere, that's where. They knew. He knew. And even so, the boy persisted through life with an exuberance and optimistic personality. No matter what, he smiled through the tough times, joked through the sad.

He never thought of himself, or what would happen to him, but how others would fare. He was his own personal sun, and everything lit up when he was around. His smiles were contagious, and even the stoic bastard would smile. A real smile.

He said not to cry, to not grieve when he's gone, and they can't help it. Everyone loved this boy-everyone­. And he never wanted anyone to suffer, so he tried to keep everyone happy. Always cracking a joke, making everyone laugh. He didn't let anyone know if he was scared or not, they had too much to worry about already. But if he was asked whether he was afraid, he would tell them Not of dying. I'm afraid of what I'll miss. Afraid I'll hurt everyone. Of not being with him. But no, not of dying.

So this young man we find, grieving his lost lover, staring at the nothingness. He knows that it's selfish to want to keep the boy with him, when he was in such terrible pain. He just couldn't help it. Humans are essentially selfish creatures, anyway, so why not use it? This boy was his sweet addiction-a drug. It's unreasonable to ponder ones loses, and wish for more time, or even regret. Especially when life gives you an opportunity so obscure and out of your reach. All good things must come to an end, though.

So here he is, pondering, regretting; and nothing. How could they have been so naïve? He took it all for granted. Every moment, each kiss, every touch. And now, when all he wants to do is forget, all he can do is remember those touches, those kisses. He can feel them. Each one sticking out in his mind, all of them distinctly different. Really, he's just staring into the shadows of his life, trying to fend off the memories of the boy. His Sun. The one person who could unfreeze his heart and make him feel. Make him live. And that is why he missed the funeral. Time is nothing. He is nothing. Nothing exists. It's all irrelevant, and none of it matters. So this, I suppose, is what fate had planned. For him to lose his sun. This is what he is.

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