Oh for the love of

by pegbronco

Can Hutch and those around him survive his fight within himself? Slash! Sexually explicit! If homosexual content upsets you, please disregard this story.

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Honesty with one's self and the one you love, is the only truth to live.

Twenty four hours prior S.R.

I don't own the guys, just like spending time with them.

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF…

BY

PEGBRONCO

Starsky knew by the pace and deliberate stride, Hutch was mad.

No wait…mad is to mild. Pissed…yeah, that's about your level.

Hutch suddenly stopped, turned at him, and stared. This move stopped Starsky in his tracks. The strong jaw of the blond was set tight. The muscles working the clinched teeth. Hutch looked from him, to the alley that they were coming out of, and back to him. Starsky could do nothing but shrug innocently with a blank look on his face. The sky blue eyes of the blond, now near navy with anger. He raised a finger, opened his mouth to say something, stopped, then clamped it shut. He then turned without a word. The smell of smog, asphalt, and stale garbage in the hot afternoon air, choked him. It just added to his temperament at the moment. The pace picked up.

Ok…so pissed is also too mild. Livid…that fit ya better, yeah… livid. Starsky's mind at the highest level he could think of at that moment. Only Starsky was clueless as to why. He turned to look back down the alley. There had to be something that he missed. He did a quick recap in his head. Chase, capture, hauled off for booking. Nope, everything done. He turned back around and took off after his partner. He was almost at a run trying to catch up with his long legged partner. The only sound at the moment was from his sneakers hitting the filthy, back alley asphalt under his feet.

They were back at the Torino. Hutch was already sitting when Starsky rounded the white stripped, red car to the driver's side. He drummed his fingers on the roof of the Torino for a second as he assessed his partner's mood. OK, here we go, AGAIN. Damn it, Hutchinson, what is it this time? He opened the door, sat down and glanced over at his fuming partner. Hutch just sat, arms crossed, hands in fists, and staring out the passenger side window.

Blatant disregard to what you were doing. Just jumped first, as usual. Damn you Starsky. Hutch's mind replaying the incident.

Hutch should be use to the way his partner assessed situations, and at times, 'jumped in before seeing if the pool had water in it.' After ten years of working side by side together, he should have known that he might have tried something as reckless as that. Jumping from one roof top to another, without really factoring in that he could have fallen to his death. But Hutch couldn't stop him. He got there just in time to see him in mid-air. Hutch's heart stopped and his breath had exploded out of him. For that moment he felt as if his world had just upended, and crashed down on top of him. Then when he saw that he made it safely to the other side of the open void, and was alright, the sudden flood of relief drowned him in a sea of anger.

When we get this wrapped up, I'm going to kill you myself. Scare the hell out of me like that. What the hell were you thinking , if at all? STUPIDITY! That's all that was. PLAIN STUPIDITY! David Michael Starsky, your going to be the death of me. Damn it Starsky! Why do I love you so much, especially after that stunt you just pulled? And then to look at me as if nothing happened.. Damn him, he's going to kill himself one of these days with his stunts, and then I'd die right along with him. What's he trying to prove anyways? But Damn It, I love him. Why'd I let him get so tight around my heart? His internal war of love and hate continued it's whirlpool. Drowning him.

Hutch unwrapped his arms and pounded his right fist against the passenger door. It was just hard enough to send a slight bit of pain up his arm. Momentarily overriding the pain he felt in his heart.

Starsky turned in his seat to look at the man setting next to him. "OK, you want to tell me what all this is about?" Starsky tried to get a handle on the situation. Silence was all he got, along with a sudden glare of pure anger. He received the unspoken message loud and clear. Back Off, or pay the consequences! The dark, curly haired detective could do nothing. He would have to wait for his fair haired partner to cool down and open up to him. In time he would. "OK…we'll talk later."

So it's going to be another one of these days I see. He backed off and turned the key. The car awoken and roared to life. The power of the engine reverberated through the heavy steel car that surrounded them. One last glance at his partner, and he got the car on the road and headed back to Metro.

OK, this is what…three times in the last two weeks that you've gotten pissed and clam up on me? Hutchinson…I swear, sometimes you can be a real pain in the ass. Granted…last week I should have slowed down a bit when we were chasing those bank robbers. And granted, I did take that last turn chasing them, a bit to tight, and nearly put you through the side window, but we got them in the end. Yes…you were pissed at me for a couple days, but you got over that. Damn, you've been so moody lately. What the hell is eating at ya?

The now all too familiar silence in the car, was deafening. The only noise was from the power of the engine from under the hood, a squeaky spring from under the rear of the car that needed attention, and the soft rustling of Starsky's leather jacket against the back of the leather seat. The atmosphere was thick of unspoken words. Each needing to confront the other, but now just didn't seem to be the right time. Hutch silently shifted restlessly in his seat.

Starsky could feel the space between them growing. Hutch had been distancing himself from him for a few months now. Come to think about it, he has been pushing everyone away. Snapping at everyone. Spending most of his off time, alone. It's been getting worse the past couple weeks or so.

He kept an eye on him through his peripheral vision. He laid his right arm across the top of the seats. His hand on the passenger's headrest. He needed so badly to touch him. Needed reassuring contact. He held back. This just didn't seem the right moment. It pained him not touching him, relaying the love that he felt for him with a soft touch. Hutch obviously needs time and space. From what, he wasn't sure. He just hope that it wasn't from him.

Don't touch me! Not right now, I'm mad at you. I couldn't handle it if you touched me. I would fall apart. And I can't do that while I'm still mad. I have to hold it together. God, Starsk…I so badly need to hold you, but I can't, not right now. Not after what you just put me through. The confusing fight within himself persisted.

The partners had bonded early on in their friendship and career. They work as one entity. Each knowing what the other was about to say or do. At times, just a silent look or gesture was all that was needed to communicate. It saved their lives on more then one occasion. It would drive those around them nuts, to sit in the middle of a silent conversation between the partners, and not knowing what was being said. The looks they gave each other also got the point across, like today. To just back off.

Working the inner city streets as robbery/homicide detectives was very trying. At times pulling them into despair. They have been put through hellish times. Lived through the killings of both their girlfriends, near death of one or the other, the kidnappings of each partner, and just the day to day grime of just being cops. But they always had each other to lean on. Always there to comfort and care for each others' needs, emotional, physical, whatever needed. The touches that they gave each other, grounded them emotionally. It helped to ease the pain that came with the job, and in their lives. They provided a level of comfort to each other that no-one else was privileged to have. The girls they dated got that message early on. To date one meant you were thrown in a relationship with the partner, like it or not. They are close. Closer then blood relatives. Two hearts and souls intertwined into one.

Hutch continued to stare out the side window. The afternoon sun, reflected off the windows of the shops as they drove past. The last of the summer afternoon sun, threw heat waves off the city dwellings. Cooler weather was on the horizon, and a welcome to the city inhabitants.

Starsky wheeled the muscled car into the parking garage at headquarters and parked. He took in a deep breath, then turned in his seat to confront his partner, but Hutch was out the car, and headed across the parking lot. Still without a word spoken. Starsky exhaled, and got out of the car. He stood and watched over the top of the car as his fare haired partner fume away into the building. He hung his head, slowly closed the car door and preceded to follow behind. He knew that there would be cleaning up to be done behind his blond partner. A duty that he was getting too accustomed to. Doors were slammed open, and personnel moved out of his way. Starsky followed behind at a slower pace, giving silent apologies to the personnel that Hutch bumped out of his way. Minnie stopped Starsky by the arm, after Hutch had breezed past her.

"Another one of his moments, huh Starsky? He wake up on the wrong side of the bed again?" Starsky just shrugged. Minnie smiled, squeezed his arm and walked down the hall.

Everyone who knows the two detectives, knows that Hutch had his moments. Lately though, there had been a lot of them, and Starsky was usually trying to clean up after him, seeing how he was the root of the explosions most the time. Something must had happened during the bust to rile Hutch like he was. But for now, everyone just watched their step, and moved out of his way. Any confrontation with the big Midwesterner while he was in this mood, was not a good idea. You'll lose, and big time. Just step aside and you'll keep your head.

The squad room door was violently yanked opened. Everyone in the room, startled, looked up from their task at hand, saw who and the mood, and quickly retreated back to what they were doing. Hutch bulldogged his way to his desk. Chairs were forcibly moved out of his way. Starsky slowly brought up the rear and held the door open to the squad room for a couple uniforms that quickly exited the room. They went to find other matters somewhere else, away from the blond, unexploded bombshell.

Starsky went to his side of the shared desk, laid his jacket on the back of his chair, twirled the chair around, straddled it and sat in it with his arms across the back. He watched his partner.

Hutch pulled out a blank police report and stuffed it the typewriter. He sat pounding at the keys, just a little too hard.

The door to Captain Dobey's office was open. The noise caught the captain's attention. The captain glanced out to the squad room from his desk. There was silence in the room, with the exception of the metal keys being jabbed at. Dobey got up from his desk and stood at the door, nursing a soda and candy bar. The other officers left in the room ducted into files in front of them. They wanted to avoid any fireworks that may bounce off the pair and inadvertently come their way.

"Starsky!" the captain spat out to the detective sitting in front of him.

"Yeah Captn'?" The dark haired man turned to look up at his superior officer.

"You want to explain to me why my office equipment is being abused by your partner?" he asked while looking across to Hutch.

"Couldn't tell ya Captn'."

"What's that suppose to mean? You're his partner aren't you and you were at the bust with him weren't you?" Dobey gruffly yelled down to him.

"Yeah Captn', not sure what happened."

"Well you better find out! HUTCHINSON! Your typing a report, not tenderizing a piece of meat. EASE UP!" the captain warned. Eyes from others in the office, cautiously looked over file edges towards the burly captain, then quickly darted back for cover as the captain glanced over the room.

Hutch only gave the captain a slight glance, and eased up on the abuse a bit. Satisfied, the captain retreated back into his office. The soft sound of relief went through the room. Hutch continued with his mission to get the report done, and to get out of there.

Starsky sat thumbing through a magazine, waiting for Hutch to finish with the report. Hutch was better at writing those things then he ever would be. The brains of the outfit, he would say. Hutch took it in stride and took over that duty without a second thought. Today though…today was a different story. Violence and office equipment doesn't always mix well.

Starsky looked across the table to his partner. Boy Starsk, you've really got yourself in a jam now. How could you go and fall in love, and with your partner at that! Why him, and why now! Went over there and allowed yourself to fall for that tall, blond and very straight man. Just can't stop thinking of him, and the dreams. Man, if he ever saw what went on in this head of yours. You had better make damn sure that this is what you want, 'cause once you tell him, he may just hand you your head on a platter and then run. Run where, who knows, but far away from your foolish ass. Then where would your ass be? Alone, that's where. Damn, what am I going to do about him? Starsky's own battle with himself continued.

The violent typing continued across from him. Starsky looked up every now and then at his blond headed counterpart in front of him. He kept trying to run the events of the afternoon over in his head. He was hoping to get some kind of a clue why his friend and partner was so charged up. Still nothing came to mind. His mind went back to it's own internal worries, and to the man across from him.

Aw Hutch…I wish that I could just reach over there and ease whatever it is that has a hold on you. I hate to see you like this. You've really got something eating at ya. I wish you would just open up and talk to me. My heart is so torn about you. God, I wish I could just tell you how much you mean to me, and how much I want to wrap you in my arms at times like this, to hold you 'till you calm down. This is so hard. I love you so much, at times I think I'm going to bust. But I risk losing you with the truth. Buddy…I can't keep this a secret for too much longer. He sighed and went back to his magazine.

At times during the report writing, the keys sounded out louder. Starsky looked up at him. The crease between the brows of the detective across from him, narrowed. His strong jaw still clinched.

Why didn't you even think of my feeling before you did that? Just jumped right over the edge. You be glade that your safe, cause I would have killed you. Hutch's mind on filling in the details on the arrest report, and how Starsky walked in one building with one address, and out another, with a different one.

At one point, the violent typing ceased. Hutch looked across the table and stared at his partner. The sudden silence in the room caught the attention of those in the room. Eyes turned to the two detectives. Starsky looked up from his reading and exchanged looks with his partner. Hutch received a look of concern, and Starsky received one of distress. The rest of the room saw trouble.

Come on Hutch, talk to me. I'm here for you buddy. Please, let me help you.

Starsk, how am I going to survive you? My love for you is killing me. Help me.

Hutch slowly broke contact and continued with his mission. The severity of the pounding waned in and out. Starsky sighed. The room went back to their own matters.

Finally, Hutch ripped the paper out of the machine. He snatched a pencil from the cup in the middle of the desk with too much force and knocked the cup over, spilling the contents across the table at himself. With a huff, he raked up the pencils and pens with his long fingers, stuffed them back in the cup, then slammed it back down on the table with too much force. It toppled over again. He stared at the mess, then left it all where it fell. He grabbed at a pencil again. He signed the report, tossed the pencil back onto the pile, then pushed his chair back and stood. In his haste, he trapped Baker who was walking behind him, between the back of his chair and the chair at the table behind him.

"Hey Hutch, why don't you…" was all Baker got out before he took notice of the daggers that Hutch's eyes were throwing at him.

Hutch glared at the man with a look that was reserved for the criminals…stone cold. Hutch leaned a half breath closer to the man. Baker took in a deep breath and held it. Being six one, Hutch was intimidating enough as it was, but add his mood and he was not someone that you wanted to cross.

Starsky cleared his throat loudly to get Baker's attention. Baker looked around Hutch, to the dark haired detective across the table. Starsky, with pinched lips together, just shook his head back and forth and waved his index finger at him. He then gestured for him, to just move along. Not a word spoken nor needed. Baker exhaled.

The young uniformed man took the silent message and erased the comment that he thought of giving to the man that had him trapped. Knowing that he better do what the blonds' partner silently told him, or get his ass handed to him from the man that slightly towered over him. He raised his hands in truce and silently squeezed past the tall blond.

Hutch shoved his chair back under the table with extra force, and walked around the table and slapped the report down for Starsky to sign. Eyes in the room reemerged towards the two detectives. Something was definitely wrong with these two.

Over the years, everyone learned that they had a unique connection, an unspoken communication. Today though…they saw another one sided, silent argument. And again, Starsky was on the receiving end. He had been for a while now.

Hutch rarely voiced his anger, but showed it in his demeanor. For the past couple months, that demeanor has slowly gotten volatile. Starsky even had taken up interrogating some prisoners alone, because Hutch was too close on the edge of breaking some rules. Not that they followed them to the tee to began with, but Hutch was teetering on breaking important ones. For now, the eyes slowly went back to their own world in front of them. Time to let the two silently argue between themselves.

As Hutch stood close, Starsky felt a soft brush of Hutch's leg against his own. Was it unintentional or a slight message? It was a touch that was unexpected but very welcomed for Starsky at the time. The slight warmth radiated through him. His heart sighed. Starsky looked up at his partner. Hutch looked down, deep into the eyes of the brunet. It was a look that Starsky had seen too often lately. One of love, mixed with anger, mixed up with confusion.

God…Starsk, I love you so much. The touch had calmed Hutch's brain for just a fraction of a second, then…went back to it's fury. Why did you…you could have died. I could just strangle you right here, right now, for making me so scared. My heart hurts for you. Why do I love you so much?

Come on Hutch…let me in there, I can help with what ever is hurting you so badly. I just want to break through that thick head of yours and hold you till you feel me, feel the love I have for you. Man…what am I going to do with you?

Hutch shifted his weight, the connection ended. The touch had grounded them both, if only for that slight second.

Starsky broke eye contact, then picked up one of the fallen pencils, signed the bottom of the report, glanced back up at his partner and slowly handed it back to him. Hutch snatched it back, slid it into it's rightful file, turned, and carried it into Dobey's office. Starsky sighed heavily and turned his attention to the mess across from him.

Hutch tossed the file onto the large, black man's desk and turned to walk out. Still not a word.

"HUTCHINSON! I don't know what went on out there today, but whatever it was, you had better get a grip on it!"

Hutch just stood at the door, staring at his partner, his back to the captain. He stood watching him clean up his mess. He just wanted out of there. His heart constricted the air from him. He was holding on the best he could while the room tried to contort before him. He needed air. He needed to escape from the invisible strangulation that he was feeling.

The slight touch that had occurred with his partner moments earlier, still electrified through him. It was unintentional, but still, it went straight to his heart. For a split second his heart took over and the brain quit thinking. It was nice. But then the brain reengaged and the anger emerged again. The internal fight continued.

"Hutch…you listening to me!" The burly captain asked out to him.

"Yeah!" he snapped back over his shoulder.

"GOOD! You had be on the job in a better mood in the morning! Now take your moody self out of my office!" The captain threw a fist at him, though Hutch didn't take notice.

Hutch exited the office, and was on his way out the doors of the squad room. Starsky had finished picking up the cup of pens and pencils, when Hutch rushed past him. He rose out of his chair, grabbed his jacket from the back of it. He was two steps towards the door.

"STARSKY, GET IN HERE!" the captain barked out from his office. The detective stopped and turned on his heel, but glanced out the office window to see Hutch pass, and almost sprint down the hall.

Starsky stood at the door to the captain's office. His mind on his partner. "Yeah Captn'?"

"I want you to get a handle on that partner of yours. Whatever you did, to get him like this, STOP IT! I don't need one of my best officers running around with a chip on his shoulder."

"Captn' I don't know what's going on in that blond head of his, but I intend on getting to the bottom of it."

"Well you better. Now get out of my office!" the captain gruffly told him.

"Yes Captain."

Once again he was trying to catch up to his long legged partner. The personnel in the room watched as Starsky tried to catch up with the overly charged man.

"Man…what the hell was that all about? Did you see the way Hutch glared at me. Man, I thought I was toast. Starsky must have really pissed him off again." Baker stated to Simmons, sitting across from him. Simmons just shook his head and returned back to his file. At least the shift for the two detectives in question was over. The tension in the room lifted.

Starsky sprinted down the hall, pushed open the double doors and nearly fell over Bigalow who was picking up scattered papers off the floor.

"Starsky, that partner of your always running people over? Do you know how long it's going to take to get these invoices back in order?" he yelled up to the detective.

"Sorry Biggy," was all the detective said over his shoulder, as he continued his pursuit.

Seeing how Starsky drove that day, Hutch was standing next to the Torino when Starsky got to the garage. The tall blond stood holding onto the side of the car as if his life depended on it. His body looking tired. He held the bridge of his nose, trying to ease a headache back.

Why would you take such a chance? Your could have killed yourself. Don't you know how this affects me? DAMN IT! I can't take this anymore. God, Starsky, your are driving me nuts. I love you buddy, but if we're to go on, I need to know, that you'll quit doing foolish things. I'm so tired of this roller coaster ride we're on. Your ripping me up inside. His mind paused for a moment. I'm just going to have to tell you. There's no other way, I have to be honest with myself, but more importantly, to you. I'm so tired.

Hutch placed both hands on the top of the car and hung his head, took in a deep breath and tried to ease the adrenalin and anxiety down a notch. He let out a heavy sigh and let the fight in him subside slightly.

There was too much death, and lives destroyed with their job. Life is too short and death was too unexpected. He had to release the pressure that was building up inside of him. There was lives at stake. Mainly Starsky's and his own. The unspoken communication that they shared, began to falter. The eyes couldn't hold back the truth for much longer. Hutch knew that Starsky was taking notice that there's a problem. Their lives had to change, and there was no way of resolving this with Starsky in the dark.

The New York transplant was wrapped around his heart, and had taken up permanent space with his soul. Hutch didn't let too many people into his heart. There was always pain that came with them. Early in life he had built a wall around his heart to keep the ugly side of the world from destroying it. His energetic friend had, in one swift move, leaped over that wall, grabbed his heart and has held it ever since. That curly haired man was his partner, friend and soul mate. He would die for this man. Starsky was the only one that ever really saw him for who he was and didn't expect him to change. Allowed him to be himself. Accepted him unconditionally.

Damn… Hutchinson, you've really got yourself in a mess. How could I have allowed myself to get this deep into this, to love him so much? Now wanting him in the most intimate ways. Now afraid to touch him, because he'll suspect that I want more from him. This just isn't right. If he finds out, no, when he finds out, and he will, he's going to look at me and run. Run far away. He won't accept this. Then where will I b?. God…I can't live without him. I love him so much. But I can't keep lying to myself. I have to be honest with this. If I take a chance and tell him, then I'll be able to breath again, but I'll lose him. If I don't take that chance, then I self destruct. I lose any way I look at it, him or myself. Hutchinson just tell him how you feel. Life is too precious and short to live this way. He has to know. Tonight. It has to be tonight. I can't go on this way anymore.

Starsky exited the building and caught sight of his partner. He could see that by the way Hutch was standing hunched over and holding on to the car for dear life, that he was in distress. He slowly walked up behind him and out of old habit, and not thinking, he lightly placed his left hand on the small of Hutch's back. The touch was time old. It was just enough to let him know that he was there and concerned.

"You alright?" Starsky's voice soft. The softness that he guarded for his partner only. Full of love and concern.

Hutch felt a wave of love rush from the hand that now caresses his back. It went right to his heart. Ohgod… you touched me.

"NO!" Hutch snapped back, without looking at him.

Aw man, that came out a little harsh, but damn it, you pissed me off. And now you touched me. God… if you only knew what you do to me when you touch me.

"You want to head over to 'The Pits' for dinner?" the brunet lightly suggested.

"No," his voice softer and hollow this time.

Hutch just hung his head, then sat down in the car, leaving Starsky's hand hanging in mid-air. Starsky took in a deep breath and slowly released it.

He walked around to the driver's side of the car and slid into the driver's seat. He looked over at his partner. Hutch was sitting slouched in the seat, his head laid back on the headrest, looking up at the roof of the car, the back of his right hand rested across his brow. His left hand on his chest, as if holding his heart in.

"OK, so far I've heard three syllables from you since the bust. Now I want to know what the hell I did, that your so mad, that ya not talkin' to me. Please tell me what's going on here," Starsky tried to sound calm.

Hutch rolled his head over and just looked into the sapphire eyes of his partner. He now saw the love and concern that came with the earlier touch. The look went right to his heart. He then just slowly turned his head away and closed his eyes. He then caught the familiar scent of his partner as it brushed past his face in the breeze that went through the open windows. His heart absorbed it.

He wants so badly to touch him, feel him, hold him against his body. To let the love that he feels for him pour out. But if he was to allow himself this, then he risks losing him. Could he really risk losing everything that they now have?

Aw Starsk…this hurts so bad.

Hutch was tired of the fight within himself. His head hurt. Another one of his headaches trying to start. The headache came from his heart. It was his heart's way of telling him, it's time to stop the internal fight. Let things alone and it will all work out. Stop thinking things to death. The fight within himself, would be what really destroys them. It was time for his heart to prevail, and take over. The mind needed time to rest and recharge. His heart needed to lead him for a while. The fighting needed to end.

If only I could find the words to let you know. Your breaking my heart with the risks that you take. Or I'm breaking my own heart for loving you too much, I don't know, I can't think straight right now. I love you Starsk, but will you still love me, after all is said and done?

"OK…we'll do it your way." A sigh of defeat escaped the brunet. Starsky got the car moving and headed to Venice Place.

I swear, sometimes Kenneth Richard Hutchinson, you can be so stubborn and bullheaded. But damn, I love you anyways.

Hutch held his heart, and had since the days of the academy. The big Midwesterner from Duluth, was the quiet type, more reserved. He was, in his own quiet way, always looking on the bright side of life. But at times, moody and irritable as hell when exhausted, and seemed to be plagued with the occasional headaches at those times.

Hutch amazed him though, when things looked their worst, Hutch always came through for him, whatever the circumstances. His White Knight. Hutch is the knot at the end of his proverbial rope. He gives him something to hang onto when life wants to knock him down. Hutch is always thinking of him before himself. Always the steadfast and compassionate partner. Extremely devoted. Always looking after his well being. Caring and loving him, with no boundaries.

Aw Hutch, your making this so damn hard for me, but it's time to tell you what I need you to hear. You may not want to hear what I have to say, so be it, but it has to be said. It's time. It's been too long. Oh, for the love of… will you understand , and hear me out?

It was still early evening and there was a beautiful sunset playing it's soft melody on the ocean. Hutch took notice as they headed down Ocean Boulevard. The anger in him subsided and was replaced with a small black hole. It sucked in all of his emotions and left his mind tired.

"Stop." Hutch solemnly told Starsky, and pointed to a small, secluded, and deserted parking lot that was looking out to sea. Starsky did what was asked. He pulled the car into the lot, pointed the car out to sea and turned the engine off.

Ok Starsk… you want to know how I feel, fine. I'll tell you. Oh, the love of…would you please understand how I feel?

Hutch thought back a year and a half ago, to a conversation that they had one hot afternoon. He was driving that day. The Torino had over heated. Again. It was right after the killing of one of their own, a good cop and friend, Lt. John Blaine. Starsky was stretched out in the back seat and was thumbing through a magazine.

"You think in this business, you get use to surprises" Starsky stated from the back seat. "A man preferring a man, is not as casual as someone having a bad cold." He continued "I'm not taking a position for or against it. But it is something to contend with. It's not your usual everyday thing."

"Starsk…would you consider a man who is spending 75% of his time with another man, has got certain tendencies?" Hutch had asked.

"Yeah. Sure. Why not? You mean a case between John and…"

"No, no, a case between you and me..." Hutch remembered the conversation well. He had ran it in his head many times over the past few months.

Oh buddy… just how will you contend with it? Will this destroy you…me…us?

Starsky was a very vivacious man. Always seemed to have a new girl every month. Though…since the death of Terry, the woman he loved, and was killed because someone wanted revenge against him, his dating days had dwindled. His heart just wasn't in it. Then came Kira. Hutch feared that he had lost him to her, but was surprised that he chose him over her. His heart soared at the time.

Since that time, Hutch's heart and head have clashed. His heart loves him, now in more ways then he ever thought possible. His head though, was concerned that the new love would be rejected and he would shatter that bond that they now had. He was a man who never had thoughts of having a man physically, but now wanting, lusting, desiring the man next to him, in the most intimate ways. This man who trusted him with his life and soul.

He felt he was betraying that trust. Starsky would see him as a stranger and monster, and leave the friendship, partnership and the force. He would decide to go back East, and this was the reason that Hutch tried to hide his feelings. He was afraid of the new found feelings. He feared that he would lose the most important thing in his life, Starsky. His mind tried to bury those feelings. He would rather keep all they had now, intact, then risk losing his life. Because losing Starsky would kill him.

For Hutch, time was working against him. As time continued to pass, hiding became more and more difficult. It was tearing him up. His heart and soul were stronger then his head, but his head was stubborn and kept thinking. Trying to think it to death, as if the final outcome would change. His head kept coming up with the same conclusion, Starsky would leave him. His heart though, held tight, letting that love grow even more.

Starsky turned to face the man sitting next to him. The man he loved more then life itself, he would do anything for this man, even die for him if needed. "OK…ya want to tell me what's going on in that blond head of yours? Whatever it is, I'm sure we can work it out and get back to normal," Starsky looked into the eyes of the one person that he cared about most in the world. He looked from one eye to the other. The sea blue eyes, now darker with emotions. He saw pain.

No Starsk, we can't go back to normal. It's to late for that. I'm scared David. Scared of what will happen. Scared of what comes next in our lives. I so desperately need you to understand.

Hutch said nothing and looked away. To see the concern that this man had for him, was making it so much harder. He was on the verge of tears. The inside of the car suddenly closed in on him, he had to get some air. Hutch opened the door, got out, and walked to the front of the car. Starsky sat for a moment to get his thoughts together.

Ohgod…Hutch. Your killing me here. I see the pain in your eyes. But how much more pain will I inflict on you, us?

Starsky remembered a year and a half ago, while getting a statement from Peter Whitelaw, a man running for office, and ex-lover of John Blaine.

"You don't have to wear your private life on your sleeve, but don't think you have to hide it." Starsky had told him.

Only now,he couldn't hide it. Not any more. The line between loving and caring for his partner and being 'in love' with him, now blurred. He doesn't know exactly when his love for Hutch turned into something that he couldn't explain. It just recently happened, the past few months or so, around about the night that they nearly got blown up at the Golden Lady Ballroom. The case that they were working on when the whole sorted ordeal with Kira occurred. To know that he nearly lost Hutch that night, started his heart down the new path that it took. But for his mind, there was no particular sequence of events that led up to the change. It just followed along, with his heart leading the way.

It's a love, that at times has overwhelmed him. A love that has always been, but now stronger. He has to come to terms with it. He has to be honest with himself and the object of the affection, Hutch. The affection has turned into something more, a want and a need. He hadn't experienced anything like this before, it's all new, but feels so right.

He too, is afraid of this new found feelings. He fears he would lose the most important thing in his life, Hutch. Hutch is going to have to be told, even though the truth is going to hurt him. This tore him up inside. But he couldn't keep it from him, not anymore. He couldn't hide anymore. With a heavy heart, he got out the car, and joined him in front of the car.

Hutch leaned against the front of the car, crossed his ankles, and folded his arms across his chest, still trying to keep his heart from escaping out. It pounded it's rhythm against his ribs. He stood and looked out to the horizon. Starsky took a small step out in front of him and looked out to the sight unfolding before them.

The sun's orb was kissing the edge of the horizon, sending reds, oranges, and yellows out across the sky. Shimmers of white strummed the tops of the waves. The ocean breeze lifted the gulls off the beach and suspended them in air. The wind brought the soft smell of salt and sand across the dunes to the two men. Nature's way of letting them know, that it's time to start fresh. Let the wind blow away the past and start new. See life in a new light. Let the beauty around them, wrap it's self around their lives. Everything that is truth will bring comfort to their lives. It was going to be beautiful.

Starsky turned to look at his partner. Hutch was staring past him. The last of the day's sun lighting up his face. His athletic body leaned against the hood of the car. The breeze whipped his long hair around.

Starsky so desperately wanted to reach out and hold him. He needed a reassuring touch, that physical contact that braced their two hearts and souls together. Just needed to hold him. The brunet held back, waiting until just the right time.

Both their minds went in the same direction. Why was this so hard? Was it, that this was possibly the end? Would they finally see what the other desperately needed, and decide to turn and walk away, leaving the other to try and salvage their life alone? How long can someone off the streets of New York, and one from the upper crust of Duluth, work and live together? How long and still care and love each other? Could it be that they both needed something more in their life? Was this bigger then them both?

Starsky stepped towards the car, turned, then hopped up and sat on the hood. He could almost feel the slight physical contact with Hutch next to him. A slight reassurance.

His mind was swimming in a direction that scared him. His heart started to speed in his chest. It hurt inside. His heart aches for him. Hutch was his best friend, closer then his own brother. He loves and cares about him on a level that was indescribable. The pain that he would live through, when he disclosed the truth that need to be aired, would be unbearable. The truth would be harder to live with, then the denial that he had been living with now. They had never held back anything from each other, but this…this was different. The truth had to come out, if only to be able to get on with their lives. He took in a deep breath and sighed deeply.

Hutch felt a tightness in his chest. His emotions constricting the air out of his lungs. He stood there looking out to sea, mentally asking it for help.

Please help me make him understand. This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. But there's no way around it, not any more. It has to be said. Please buddy, just remember that I love and care for you deeply. I won't be able to go on without you in my life.

"It's beautiful isn't it? Hutch softly asked, staring out to the last of the day's rays.

"Yeah…like Mother Nature reminding us that she's still looking over the world. Buddy we need to talk."

"I know," Hutch lowered his head then turned and looked up at the curly haired man perched next to him. "I'm sorry I've been hot-tempered at you lately. Just have had a lot on my mind lately."

"I caught on to that Blondie. I'm not sure what I did to bring on your mood today, but I apologize for whatever it was." He sighed softly. "I've also been needing to discuss something with you. Just can't let it go on any further. Figure ya need to know."

Now was the time, Starsky placed a hand on Hutch's shoulder. He felt a soft release from under his hand as Hutch deflated some. The soft touch seemed to do it's job, and released some of the tension between them.

"Oh yeah?" Hutch softly questioned. "I've got something I've got to get off my chest, but Starsk…please try to understand how I feel."

"OK, so just tell me. You think that after all these years, I wouldn't understand you? Pal, don't worry that pretty blond head of yours," Starsky gave the shoulder under his hand a squeeze.

"OK, you want to talk first? I wouldn't want ya to blow a gasket up there." He smiled as he reached up and put his hand through those silky, golden strands, and gave a small, loving tug.

Damn Starsk…the way you touch me, you make it so difficult sometimes.

Hutch looked away, out to the ocean. "OK," he stood there, still trying to put the words together. The words in his head running around, trying to get in the right place. His mind was tired.

"Starsk…we've known each other for a long time now."

"Ten years."

"Yeah…a long time. We've been through a lot in these past ten years. The academy, working the streets. "

"Yes we have."

"We nearly lost one or the other a few times. Forrest, the poisoning, plague, gun shots... "

"Yes we have," Starsky cut him off.

"Starsk…please listen to me."

"I am, but all I'm getting is a history lesson. Hutch I'm very aware what we have been put through. Hell and back. So will ya please, just get to the point?"

"Oh, for the love of…will you please, just let me get this out? Your not helping the matter. Please try to understand," his voice cracked a little with emotion. Starsky picked up on it.

"Hey…Hutch you know, you mean the world to me so, go ahead and say it. I'll be quiet," he gave the shoulder a squeeze again.

"Look…you're my best friend, but…" He felt like he couldn't get the rest out, and stood silent. The fear of loosing the friendship and all they had now, laid heavy on him. His mind wanted to go into escape mode. This was too hard.

"But what?" Starsky gently asked.

"But my feeling have changed. I…I can't keep going on this way. Something in me has changed. After the whole Kira fiasco, I realized that I…I can't go back to that life anymore. I…I" he stumbled on the words. The love that was strangling his heart, hurt. The love for his partner overwhelmed him. He has agonized too long. He pushed away from the car and took a couple steps forward, towards the waters that could erase the pain.

"Yes? You what?" Starsky wasn't sure where all this emotional out pouring was headed. The slight stammer was there, and knew that it only showed up when Hutch was emotionally drained. All he knew is that his emotionally charged partner was agonizing over it, and had been for a while. The fight for Kira had been almost a year ago. Starsky then realized that Hutch had been a bit distant since about that time.

God Hutch…please don't tell me your quitting the force again, and that your leaving me. We made peace over that whole Kira ordeal. Please just don't tell me your leaving.

Hutch took in a breath, closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I…I love you." The three little words that very rarely if ever, said between them. He slowly turned and looked into those blue eyes of his partner for a reaction. Here he just poured his heart out in a sense. So why did he feel like turning and running? Far away.

"Hutch, I love you too. You've known that."

"Oh, for the love of… Dave, you don't understand." Hutch turned away in frustration. He again looked out to sea for help.

Please help me to get him to understand. Hutch was desperate now.

"Ok… so explain it to me." Hutch, just where are you going with this? Your starting to really confuse me here.

Finding the courage, he pressed forward. He turned to look at his partner. "David...I…I'm 'in love' with you," the words slowly slid out. Hutch hung his head. He thought that he would feel relief, but the weight of the world was still there. Strangling him. Squeezing the air from him. He felt that he would pass out.

When did his love for his partner go from, loving his friend and partner, to being 'in love'? He wasn't sure, but it had only been in the last few months. The love that has always been, now intense.

The fight with him over Kira left him confused. Who did he love? The answer was obvious, Starsky. For him, to know that Kira was loving both of them at once, well, jealousy. It hit him like a proverbial brick. To see her try to take his partner from him, well, that hurt the most. And to know that she would love another man, and openly admit it, was wrong. Then when they walked out on her at the bar, arms around each other, he felt a sense of relief. Then he had to deal with his feelings for him, and that has been a challenge.

He has struggled with wanting him, and the possible rejection from him. The rejection that he just knew was coming, would be the hardest thing he would ever have to deal with. Starsky would choose to leave him and the job, and go back to New York, because of him. Because of the feeling that he now had for him. The self loathing was destroying him. He just knew that his heart would quit beating and his life would be over.

Please say something. Hit me, hate me, leave me, anything, but don't just sit there. He looked up, then dropped his head and turned away. His heart felt as if it was fatally wounded.

Starsky sat there.

Wow! I mean, WOW! Did I just hear you right? How did I not pick up on this before? Could it have been that, you've been trying so hard not to show me, and to push me away? God…Hutch, do you know how much I've been needing to hear this from you? I mean WOW!

He slowly blinked a couple times to make sure the words he just heard would stay in his head, and he read them right. He let out a large lung full of air. He was temporarily speechless.

"WOW! This is like…WOW!" He softly whispered to himself, out of earshot of the man who just changed his world.

Then, with a sense of much needed relief, Starsky slid off the hood of the car and stepped in front of his partner. He turned to face him. He could see that Hutch was in a lot of pain over this. The evening light showed darker, emotionally wet blue eyes, and a frown on his tall friend's face.

Hutch reached out and lightly touched the sleeve of Starsky's jacket. Then quickly brought his hand back to his chest.

"Starsk…I..I, would understand if you don't want this, this kind of love. And I can live with that. I'm just afraid that you'll leave. That, I can't live with. I… I can't live without you in my life. Please, just don't leave me alone. This love scares me so much, but your rejection and leaving, scares me even more. But if you decide to leave the partnership and job, pack up and leave for New York. I…I won't stand in your way." His self sacrificing for his partner still intact.

The emotions couldn't be held back anymore. Hutch felt a single tear escape and slide down his check. The emotional turmoil was just too much to hold back. Starsky is his world, and it feels as if it is falling apart around him, with the pieces falling and pounding the ground around him. The pounding he heard, kept beat with his heart pounding, and trying to escape his chest.

Starsky reached up and wiped the tear away. His big hearted friend was breaking down. He knew he had to say something. The time was now. He looked up at the face that he knew just as much as his own.

"Hutch, I need to tell you something." He cupped the tall blonds' face in his hands. "You know that I have loved you for a long time. I cherish what it is we have. But my feelings have changed also, and it's just been recently that I realized that, I'm 'in love' with you too. Hutch, I'm 'in love' with you buddy. No, I won't pack up and leave. I won't run away from this." He stared at the face between his hands for a reaction.

WHAT! What did you just tell me? Wait…your 'in love' with me?…What?…Now wait…I just told you…and your ok… But your strai…Oh shit …what's happening here? The blood rushed away from Hutch's head and mind and went back to his heart. For that moment, his head went empty, blank, void of all thinking.

Starsky saw the blue eyes on the face he held, suddenly widened. He heard a sudden intake of air. The face in his hands suddenly paled. This wasn't exactly the reaction that he was looking for.

For Hutch, the world suddenly stepped off him, and the grip on his lungs released it's hold, and his lungs took in much needed air. He remembered how to breathe as the ocean and the sky tried to exchange places. His legs went weak, and he just about fell over backwards. He had to take a step back to catch himself. Starsky quickly grabbed him by the arms to steady him.

"Hey…take it easy there. I wouldn't want ya passing out on me," Starsky eased him back against the car. Hutch put a shacking hand through his hair, though the wind had a different plan for it, and blew the golden locks about his face.

Hutch was stunned. Why didn't he pick up on this, that his partner had felt the same way about him? Had he been so deep in his own misery and turmoil over this, that he missed what Starsky needed, or wanted? Could this actually be what he was wanting to hear?

"I…I thought I was going to lose you. I…just…" He couldn't think right this moment, he was just stunned.

"No Hutch, your not getting rid of me that easy. See… the way I see it, you've got two choices here. One…start a new life with me. Or two…we go on as if this conversation never took place. I would prefer the first choice. If that's alright with you?" Starsky held onto both of his arms, his fingers slowly massaging. A look of concern for his partner's well being crossed his face. He released his hold on his partner and stood close.

"Listen to me. This thing, this love, isn't going to change what we have now. Hutch, what we have now will always be here. No matter what. We will always have this, but now we can have so much more. We can move forward and let this guide us. Hutch please, we can make this work. If you'll let it."

"Starsk…," then suddenly, that beautiful smile of Hutch's emerged, it was shy but magnificent. It took over his whole face. He raised a shaking hand, and put it through the silky, dark curls of his partner's hair. Starsky smiled just as wide as Hutch. He then reached up and placed his hand on the back of the tall blonds' neck, under all that sun kissed blond hair, and slowly pulled him towards himself. Sky blue eyes looking deep into sea blue ones. The softness of their lips met.

The gentle caress of their lips left them both wanting more. It was a kiss, soft, but so full of new found passion. The key to a whole new world, and it opened a door that they both so desperately wanted.

Starsky broke contact and stepped back. He stood looking at the man in front of him. His breath pleasantly gone. He had been wanting to do that for a long time, but like Hutch, he too, kept his feeling hidden. Now, this was so much more than he had expected. He felt a rush of need and wanting, pulse through him. A desire for the beautiful man standing in front of him, warmed his heart. His heart now free to allow that want and desire.

Hutch stood, still trying to remember what breathing was for. He felt like the breeze would lift him into the air to join the gulls. This was new to him, but left him too, wanting more. He reached out with is shaky hand and took his partner's hands and held it. Their fingers linked together. His long fingers slowly caressing up and down Starsky's. Then his brain squeezed by his heart and took over and reality hit him.

"Um…" he cleared his throat, "what do we do now?" Hutch asked with a shaky voice, then looking to the sand under them.

Starsky gently placed his free hand under Hutch's chin and raised it so that their eyes met. "Well, the way it looks babe, is that we go back to your place and release some more of that Hutchinson charm."

"No…I mean…yes… I mean, what I was talking about, is this whole thing." Hutch released the hand that connected them and slowly walked past him. "What I'm trying to ask is…" his mind still in stun mode and having problems concentrating. It had gone from angry, to despair, to numbness, now to confusion.

This whole time he was trying to prepare himself for the rejection that he thought was coming, that he never really prepared himself for the acceptance. His mind has had a long day. Thinking was too hard. He crossed his arms tightly around himself, and slowly walked.

"Hutchinson, you know, you think too much sometimes. I see where your trying to go with this. I know that all this is new ground for us, and that your scared, I am too." Starsky walked in stride with his partner. "We go on with our jobs and began a new life together. It's that easy."

"No…it's not that easy. I mean, what will people think? What about work, family, and friends? You know what society thinks about two men together in that way. It could get more dangerous. Not that our life is easy now. It could get more complicated." Hutch's voice slightly raised.

"Well, work is easy. We just continue on the way we always have. They already talk, but we've never cared about the rumor mill anyways. We just carry on, business as usual. Nothing changes there. Our families will have to understand, and if they don't…well I would rather live a life with you, then worry that we're a disappointment to them. And society…well, we've never let that stop us from showing affection to each other. Huggy and Dobey? Huggy probably thinks we're a couple already. And Dobey…if he finds out, he may understand. But if not. The way I see it…job be damned, if it meant losing you Hutch."

"Starsky…you would give up the person you are, a cop, just to start a life with a man?"

"No, I wouldn't quit being a cop for just a man. I would quit for only you. Only because it would be you asking. No-one will ever be able to get me to do anything. Only you have that hold on my heart, Hutch. Only you can have me in whatever world you want for us. That means, that if you were to ask me to leave the force, then I would."

"You love me that much?" Hutch stopped and stood standing, looking at the man that just confessed his love for him. He saw nothing but love. A love that he so needed for so long and never thought that it would ever materialize. "I wouldn't ask you to do that. It's who you are, and I wouldn't want you to live a life that you would regret."

"Hutch…I would never regret living a life with you. I love you that much. Whatever happens in our lives, wherever the road takes us, I will always be by your side. I have for the last ten years and I intend on being there for the rest."

Starsky saw a small frown come across Hutch's face. "What's all this about?" he asked.

Hutch dropped his eyes for a moment, then looked into those eyes that he loved.

"Dave…we're not getting any younger, and the job seems to be getting more dangerous. I'm just asking that, would you please think about my feelings, and think over situations twice before taking things into your own hands? I'm your partner, please include me in some of your decisions first, before you react. Sometimes the risks that you take…well, they scare me. I get scared that I won't be there to back you up and you'll take an unnecessary risk. I know that it all comes with being a cop, but please remember how it would effect me. I feel like there's times that the job will take you away from me. I'm scared that something bad will happen." Hutch saw a crocked, devious smile, and a look, come across the brunet's face. "Did you hear what I asked? Oh for the love of…Starsky…try to understand what I'm saying."

Starsky put his figure on his check, and his eyes went to the sky as if thinking hard about something. Starsky, being the one who thinks quick on his feet, and without thinking much of the consequences, in one swift move, he grabbed Hutch around the waist and shoulder, and dipped him. Right there on the beach, for all the world to see. With the exception of Mother Nature, they were alone. It wasn't the easiest thing to do, with Hutch being a couple inches taller and a few pounds heavier, and for the fact that they were standing in sand. Though, it wasn't the first time that he performed that move on his partner, but this time the moment moved him. He gave him a powerful kiss, it melted right into Hutch's soul. He then stood him upright and stepped back.

Hutch stood on shaky legs, trying to catch his breath. His eyes wide in amazement and disbelief.

"Oh… was this, one of those times that you wanted me to think twice about? You were included in my decision. You know Blondie, sometimes being spontaneous can be fun." Starsky reached out and grabbed the elbow of his stunned partner, turned him, and walked them to the car.

Halfway to the car, Hutch suddenly stopped, dislodging Starsky's hold on him. His brain had reengaged, again. Starsky stopped and turned to look at his partner. "What is it?"

"Starsk…we really need to talk about this."

"Look Hutch…you said that you love me. Right?"

"Yes."

"Then nothing else matters. We take whatever comes our way the same way we always have. As long as we work it out together, nothing matters. Me and Thee, remember?"

"Yes. Me and Thee. I do love you David."

"And I love you too, you big lug. Now let me take you home and show you how much." The moment of serious talk was over. There would be another time for that, now was for new found love.

The evening sun had dipped below the horizon. It was a magnificent sunset. Mother Nature was right, the old life ended and a new one started. Truth and honesty within one's self and the one you love, was the only life to live. With that, life will be beautiful.

The ride to Venice Place was quiet. Each man sat with a smile on their face. For Hutch, just pure relief from the months of agony that he had put himself through. For Starsky, it was relief and anticipation. Relief that they found out they both needed the same thing, each other. And anticipation of what was ahead of them in their lives. They live a life together now in every aspect there is, with the exception of the sexual part. Now, even that physical aspects of it, warmed him from the inside out. A quiver of anticipation rushed over his body, giving him goose bumps. He felts like a thirty five year old school kid.

He thought back to a few weeks earlier at the station. They had come off a wild foot chase that included the city dump. Needless to say a shower was needed and demanded from those around them. Hutch was reluctant, thought that it could wait until he got home, but Dobey put his foot down and threatened suspension if he didn't. Starsky was done with his, when Hutch arrived in the locker room, and preceded to undress and step into the hot spray from the shower. He remembered the sight of the big blond had unexpectedly aroused him, and he needed to do a quick duck into the open locker to hide the arousal. Ice water, ice water, ice water. He had to keep telling himself. Then he had to come to terms as to why it happened. Now it all came to light. They both were trying to hide their attraction for each other from the other. Hutch with avoidance, and Starsky with thoughts of ice water. Silly now that he thought about it.

Hutch sat with his hand on Starsky's thigh, softly massaging the leg under his hand. Not the first time he has done it, but this time with more love in the touch.

Starsky felt a strangulation starting between his legs, the tightness of his jeans wasn't helping. The touch was electrifying in him. His own hand on the back of Hutch's neck, his thumb slowly caressing the soft flesh, while his fingers twirled the soft, long, summer sun kissed strands of his hair. He had done this many times before, but now with the feeling of passion.

The red car was brought to rest behind the battered heap of Hutch's. Starsky opened the car door and stepped out. His light gate bounced him around the front of the car, to the passenger side of the car.

Hutch was still sitting, looking down at his hands. His heart still having problems keeping the brain disengaged. Starsky opened the door and while holding onto the door with his right hand and his left arm on the roof, he leaned down into the car.

"Hutchinson, I hear you thinking in there. Buddy listen to me. Everything is goin' to be alright. We face the world together as usual."

"I know it will be Starsk." Hutch's voice low.

Starsky squatted down between the door and Hutch in the seat. He reached in and laid a hand on Hutch's thigh. "Hutch, are you sure you want this?" a voice low and empathic.

"Oh Starsk…it's what I've wanted for a long time. Just now it's really happening. It's like our first date. I'll have to tell you…that I'm a little scared. I don't want to mess this up." He glanced up shyly at his friend.

"No need for all this. Hay, it's me. We know more about each other then most couples. It'll be fine. I promise. We'll take things as slow as you want. There's no rush. We have a life time ahead of us. I just want you to be sure that this is what you want. "

"I'm sure, and I want to show you how much I love you." Hutch looked at him with a soft smile.

"Well then, take your pretty blond self up those stairs. Your neighbors would probably faint, if they saw what I want to do…out here in the street. Come on sweetheart," raising a brow at his partner. He got up and stepped aside for Hutch. Hutch's grin was wide and shy. He stepped out the car.

"Lead the way my good man." Hutch in a lighter mood now, gestured for the dark haired man to lead the way. Starsky closed the heavy door to the car and preceded into the building.

As they ascended the staircase, Hutch lightly pinched the round butt that was encased in a way too tight pair of jeans.

"Hey!"

"Well, if your going to go around showing it off in those jeans, then you had better expect some kind of recourse."

"I see how you want to play this."

"Oh yeah, and just how is that?"

"Oh I'm going to show ya," as another devious smile crossed the brunet's face.

They got the top of the landing and Hutch hesitated as he reached over the door for the key.

"What now?" Starsky asked.

"Well, this is a start of a new life together. Once we take this next step, we won't be able to go back."

"I don't want to look back Hutch. I want to look forward. A life with you in every way possible."

"Me too Starsk. No turning back."

He got the door opened. "Shall we?"

"Oh yes, we shall," and the brunet sauntered through the door. Hutch closed the door behind him. Starsky was standing in front of the couch. With three long strides and Hutch was at him.

Hutch looked into those sapphire eyes that he loved so much. He looked from left to right, and back. His eyes silently asking. Then a smile on the shorter man's face answered the question the eyes had asked. With his left hand, Hutch reached up and let his long fingers comb through the back of the dark curly head. Then Starsky answered the question again and pressed into Hutch's body. Hutch then kissed him.

Hutch captured his lips within his own. The soft, silky lips of the brunet were warm and moist. He right arm pulled the man closer to him. Hutch's tongue gently licked the soft lips of his partner. Slowly asking to enter. The answer came with the parting of Starsky's mouth, inviting him in. Hutch took the invitation, his tongue slides across his open lips, and slowly tastes the warm inside of the shorter man. Starsky's too was exploring and tasting Hutch's. Neither taking dominant rolls. Starsky had reached up and placed his right hand behind Hutch's head and gently pulled Hutch's head and mouth tighter to his own. Each now needing to breathe, but neither wanting to break contact.

Starsky took notice of the slight bristling of Hutch's mustache. It tickled his nose at times. It was a new feeling, strange, but exciting at the same time. He would decide later if he really liked it. Hutch was still himself, undecided on keeping it or departing from it.

Hutch caught the soft scent of sandalwood and leather from his partner. A scent that he was all too familiar with. It was comforting. Hutch's long fingers slowly massaging small circles into Starsky's lower back. It was as if they instinctively moved about on their own. Having done it numerous times. Starsky's left hand traveled down the blonds' spine to his ass. Slowly pulling Hutch's hips tighter to his own.

Finally with lungs protesting, they're lips parted and much needed air inhaled.

Starsky had been with many women. They're kisses were always sweet and light. But with Hutch, the masculine power of it, was beyond anything he had ever experienced. The kiss was assured and confident. The power of electricity surged through his body awakening the hidden desire. It went straight to his groin.

Starsky reached up and took Hutch's face in his hands and recaptured his lips with his. He felt Hutch open his mouth and took him in. Again tongues caressed, explored, tasted. Starsky slowly withdrew his tongue and slowly sucked on Hutch's lower lip. A feeling of desire washed over the blond and drowned him. It took him by surprise, but he wanted more.

Trying to get his senses back, Hutch took Starsky's shoulders into his hands and stepped back, putting a short stride of air between them.

Starsky looked at him puzzled. Hutch tried to catch his breath. His head was swimming and heart pounding.

"You alright?" Starsky asked, catching his own breath.

"Yes. Oh yes I am. Just thought that we'd get cleaned up and more comfortable. I really need to shower, before this takes us further."

"And just how far will this take us Hutch?" a crocked smile emerged.

With a hand in the dark curls, and a quick kiss on the forehead, "all the way. All the way to the end," he whispered into his ear, his voice low and sexual.

He then turned and preceded to remove his holster, and walking out of his shoes and socks. Starsky in a split second, had his off and his own tee shirt removed. He decided to take a little bit of control of the situation at hand, and stepped in front of Hutch.

He reached up and preceded to unbutton the blonds' shirt and pulled the tail of it out of the pants. He removed it, then tossed it and slowly pulled the tee shirt up. While he still had Hutch's head covered, he leaned down and took one of Hutch's nipples into his mouth. Hutch inhaled suddenly, mainly from the sudden pleasure, then from the sneak attack. Hutch finished pulling the tee shirt off himself, and tossed the shirt away to join the rest on the floor.

With his right hand around the tall man's back, holding him close, Starsky stood there gently caressing the small flesh with his tongue, until the flesh plumped with excitement. As his tongue pressed and surrounded the tiny hard flesh, he felt a trembling. The tiny quivering excited him more. He then moved to the other nub, giving it equal time and excitement.

Hutch stood, absorbing the pleasure that was being given to him. He placed his hand on the back of Starsky's head and gently pulled him tighter onto himself. Starsky's right hand now working slowly up and down Hutch's back. His left hand found it's way to the front of the tall man's pants and slowly unbuttoned them. He slowly released the nipple that he was working on and straightened up. He looked into those light blue eyes with a soft questioning glance. Hutch replied with a wink and small smile.

Starsky reached between them and finished with the zipper. Still with eye contact with his partner, he ran his fingers between the waistband and hips. He slowly lowered both the cords and boxers in one move, leaving Hutch standing there stark naked in front of him. Hutch's arousal from the sneak attack moments earlier, was very apparent.

Hutch sensing the moment was a bit one sided, preceded to mirror what Starsky had just performed on him.

They both stood there. Modesty between them was void. They had seen each other naked a thousand times over, but now they saw each other in a whole new light. Hutch's heart quickened. It was the first time he actually looked at him with true love and passion, he felt like he was walking on clouds. The man in front of him took his breath away.

Hutch ran his hands down Starsky's chest and hips, feeling the masculine body that now trapped his heart and mind. The light touch sent shivers of delight through the shorter man.

Hutch reached and took Starsky's hand and turned them towards the bathroom for that shower that had been mentioned. Hutch walking slightly ahead, and pulling the brunet behind him. Hutch now slightly in control of the situation, at the moment.

Hutch released the hand he held and switched on the light, then stepped to start the water in the tub for the shower. He then turned and looked at the man in the room with him. Starsky was slightly olive skinned, and still well muscled. He still had that lean, trim look. Hutch had put on a couple pounds over the years, but still very much the athlete. Starsky felt that he filled out nicely. Still strong, masculine, and simply handsome.

Hutch turned silently to check the water temperature, giving Starsky the opportunity to ambush again. He grabbed Hutch from behind, wrapping his arms around him. He slowly kissed Hutch's shoulders, and the back of his neck under all the long golden strands. His hands slowly traveled around the smooth, bare chest of the blond. Hutch leaned back into the embrace, his eyes closed. Just being held by this man in a warm loving embrace, sent his heart pounding even more.

The way that Starsky worked his hands and the slow caress from his lips on his skin just amazed him. He had been held by his partner on numerous occasions. Whenever he was sick or injured, or just needed a comforting, reassuring embrace. He had been there for Starsky as well. Their level of comforting each other was indescribable. Whatever it took, no boundaries, except for the sexual one. But now, that embrace he was experiencing was full of yearning, and all boundaries now, nonexistent.

Starsky felt Hutch take in a deep breath and slowly released it. A long sigh of contentment. His heart soared, to know that what they were experiencing right now felt right for them.

"Um…Hutch, we may want to step into the shower now, before we end up taking a cold one." Starsky whispered into his ear as he kissed it.

"Sure…ok," he looked over his shoulder to his partner and smiled.

They both stepped into the tub, Starsky pulled the curtain closed, as he stepped behind Hutch. The shorter man reached for the bar of soap first. Hutch closed his eyes and just stood and let the hot water wash away the anxiety that he had all day.

Starsky got a good hand full of suds going and slowly started on Hutch's back. He could feel the tension and tight muscles in Hutch's long back. He slowly started working the knots out. Starsky knew that the long back of his partner had started to give him problems over the years, and was in need of a good massage every now and then to ease the tightness.

Hutch leaned forward and placed his hands on the wall in front of them, and allowed the weight of the last few months wash away. The strong hands of his partner worked their magic over his body. Caressing, massaging, releasing tension.

Starsky stood there washing his partner. It wasn't the first time that he had bathed his partner. It's been ten years of whatever needs met, but now, was the first time that he joined him with more passion in the touch.

The pale complexion of the tall Nordic mesmerized him. He loves the way that Hutch's skin feels under his hands. Smooth and hairless. Unlike his own hairiness. Even the small imperfection of a small mole he had on his back made him smile. He loved it anyways. He felt his erection grow from just thinking about the lovely body now in his hands.

Hutch slowly pushed away from the wall that held him up, and again leaned onto Starsky behind him. The brunet reached around and slowly lathered up Hutch's chest and stomach. He then hesitated.

"Hutch…I love you," he told him with his check against wet blond hair. Hutch reached up behind him, and ran his fingers through the curls that now glistened with water and gave a loving tug. Then with his left hand he took Starsky's hand in his and slowly guided it down between his legs.

"I love you too Starsk," near a whisper.

Starsky gently took hold of Hutch. He slowly moved his hand up, down, and around the soft flesh. Feeling the shaft slowly grow with the light touch. Starsky stepped closer into the embrace, holding Hutch against himself tighter with his right arm and hand. Starsky's own hard-on placed tightly against Hutch's ass. The warm water started to pool between their two bodies.

Hutch's breathing slightly deepened and quickened. Starsky now had both hands on him. His right hand gently working the fingers around the balls, fondling them softly, while the left continued it's rhythmic movement up and down the shaft, knowing just the right amount of pressure to apply. His thumb slowly caressing the top. His hands slowly making love to the erection. The pace picked up only so slightly.

Hutch's body responding to the wondrous feel of the hands on him. He unconsciously began to slowly thrust and stroke his cock against the hand that held him. His body taking over, while the brain floated. The slow kneading that Starsky was doing to him, made him wanting more, wanting him in every way. His mind adrift with desire.

"Starsk…" he leaned back and whispered into his ear.

"Shhh…babe. Let me do this for you. Let me show you how I love you," but he felt Hutch's body move away, taking the heat between them away with him. Reluctantly Starsky released his hold on him.

Hutch slowly stepped forward and turned to face the man he loves. He took the soap and began his own exploration of his partner's body. His long fingers working the soapy froth around Starsky's chest and rock hard stomach.

Starsky stood holding onto Hutch's hips with both his hands, watching his face, and allowed the tall blond to move his hands freely around his body.

Hutch worked his hands everywhere, except on the erection that stood between them. His own waiting for more attention.

Hutch slowed his hands onto his hips and while looking into deep blue eyes, he brought Starsky up next to him. Both groins locked together between the two hot, wet bodies. Hutch was slightly longer then Starsky, but the shorter man had slightly more girth. The match was perfect.

Starsky started kissing Hutch, the power and excitement shot through both men. It went right to their core. Hutch held the shorter man against him. Their bodies melded together into a perfect match. Slowly their groins moved against each other, their movement in unison with each other.

The intensity of the kiss quickened the movement of the bodies. Starsky's hands holding the ass of the taller man, holding their bodies together.

Their lungs again protesting the lack of air. Hutch ended the kiss. Starsky then preceded to lay kisses of passion around Hutch's face and neck. Hutch's eyes closed and allowed his mind to float in a world of ecstasy.

Starsky slowly turned them sideways and gently pressed Hutch up against the side wall of the shower. The spray from the shower now hitting between them both. He continued to rain kisses over his body, kissing and tasting his lover's skin. The temperature in the room went up a few degrees.

While softly sucking on small areas of flesh on the tall man's neck, Starsky slid his left hand down Hutch's hip and slowly lifted Hutch's leg. The taller man wrapped it tightly around the brunet's waist and ass. Hutch holding onto his shoulders, he leaned against the wall, lost in a world of sexual delight.

Starsky ran his hand around to the back side, caressing the back of the long leg,, then to the soft underside of his ass. His fingers exploring, smoothing the soft flesh under them. His fingers circling the soft opening, but not entering. The invitation not yet given. He then brought his hand back around to Hutch's groin and cupped the large set of testicles in his hand.

Hutch slowly lowered his leg as Starsky lowered himself, kissing down his chest and belly. Then he took Hutch's erection into his mouth. He heard Hutch inhale deeply. He slowly, with one hand caressing the soft balls and the other on the lower part of Hutch's shaft, started a rhythmic motion. Moving his mouth and hand in unison. The erection thickening in his mouth. He then ran his tongue up and down the length. Tasting the small amount of juices that escaped the top. He heard a moan escape from the man he now intimately held. He again took as much of the erection he could in his mouth and continued with the motion. His own erection throbbing and wanting a release.

Hutch felt his mind explode when Starsky took him into his mouth. The sensation that Hutch was feeling, was sending fireflies through his brain. He wasn't going to be able to hold out to much longer. He could feel the tightening of his testicles and that tense feeling in his lower gut. Hutch threaded his long fingers through the wet ebony curls of the man in front of him. He looked down at him.

"Starsk…please… together," he quietly said while trying his best to hold out.

Sensing what Hutch was feeling and knowing the right moment, he released his hold on the blond and straightened up. He then pressed their bodies tight together. Pushing Hutch tighter against the wall behind him. He took one of Hutch's nipples between his thumb and finger and lightly caressed it.

Starsky looked into near navy blue eyes and then took hold of Hutch's mouth with his. Tongues desperately reaching for each other. Hutch reached down and pulled their hips and groins tighter. The thrusting against each other quickened. Breaths deepened. Then, in one last thrust they both, simultaneously, exploded their climax between them. Starsky held him close enough to be part of him. Held him until the trimmers quieted. Hutch leaned forward into his grasp. His legs felt as if they would give out.

No more ice water. Starsky told himself.

"You alright there?" Starsky softly asked.

"Oh Yeah. I love you Dave," he said with a smile, as his straightened up and stood looking at his partner.

"I love you too Blondie," he said as he found the soap and cleaned them off.

"Think we may need a nap now," he suggested, wiping the last of the suds off the two of them.

"Yes, I think we should, then we'll go get something to eat later." Hutch suggested as he turned and shut off the water and opened the curtain. Hutch stumbled slightly stepping out of the tub, his long legs still shaky. Starsky smiled as he grabbed him before he hit the floor.

They dried off, then preceded to the bedroom. Still naked. Starsky laid down and rolled to the middle of the bed. Hutch laid down behind him, threw an arm over his waist and tugged him closer, spooning him close to himself.

Starsky grabbed the spread and tossed it over them both. He then took Hutch's hand that dropped over him, in his, interlocking their fingers, and brought the clasped hands to his heart and held it there.

For the next couple of hours they slept. It had been months since both of them actually slept peacefully. The emotional turmoil that Hutch had put himself through, now eased, and his brain took much needed time off. His heart took over and allowed peace within himself. Starsky could now rest knowing that they were now totally one in everyway. Back to normal, but with a higher level of communication and commitment to each other. There would be no others. And honesty, it was a beautiful thing. Honesty with ones self, and the one that you love.

They were awake a couple hours later, feeling slightly refreshed and hungry. Starsky's stomach growled and announced dinner time. "You know you should think about getting that thing a leash and keep it under control," Hutch whispered to him, as he patted the curly haired belly, then he rolled to his back.

Starsky turned over and leaned over on an elbow. "Hay, as long as I keep it fed and watered I don't have a problem with it." He gave him a long sensual kiss Then he looked into those blue eyes that he knew so well and loved.

"Hiya stranger. Nice to have you back," the brunet combed his fingers through blond bangs.

"Hiya yourself. I'm sorry about the past few weeks. I've been so torn up inside, I guess that I pushed you aside. I just love you so much Starsk. I've been scared that you'd leave. I can't live if you weren't in my life. Please don't ever leave me." Hutch looked up at him, softly pleading. It's the only weakness he has, the thought of living a life without his friend.

"I love you too, you big lug, and I'm not goin' nowhere. No more holding back from each other. OK? No matter how bad you think it is, you talk to me. Got It?"

The answer came in a form of another powerful kiss. Hutch's mouth taking as much of Starsky's mouth as possible. Another growl from Starsky. Hutch let go and lightly snorted. "Ok, lets get that thing fed before it attacks someone."

They dressed and headed over to 'The Pits' for burgers and beer.

"Well if it ain't the dynamic duo. What can I do you for?" Huggy asked as he strolled passed them with a beer tray in hand. He also took notice that Hutch had a small smile on his face, a good sign.

"How 'bout the usual, burgers and beers," Starsky told him as they found their usual booth towards the back. Dark and secluded.

The dark haired man slid across the seat first, giving Hutch the usual outside seat. Hutch slid across the booth closer to Starsky. His leg bumping up against the shorter man's leg under the table. Hutch reached discreetly under the table. His hand brushed along the tattered jeans. The wandering hand slid down between the shorter man's legs, gave a small squeeze on the bulge, a prisoner, in again too tight of a pair of jeans, then brought it back up over the table.

The smoky glow of the tavern showed a small smile on the taller man's face, but he was looking shyly everywhere but at his partner. A big grin came across Starsky's face. Their time out together will now include little secret love caresses between them. He liked the thought. He started to think about what boring stakeouts were going to be like now. Not so boring. But got to remember, keep work at work and off time, off the clock.

The rest of the night went by with the two sharing a meal. Starsky finishing his first as usual and starting on Hutch's. They talked about nothing in particular. They talked about the ball game that was coming on over the weekend, light bantering back and forth, and small talk with the skinny black proprietor of the joint.

Huggy had came over and sat for a minute, and sensed that something was a little different with these two, but couldn't quite put his finger on it. The air was light around them. They just seemed to be in a much chipper mood then the last couple times that they had been in.

Hutch had seemed to be at everybody's throats. Walking around with an "I dare you" attitude. The Bear almost threw him out three weeks earlier for being nasty to another patron. Starsky had to grab him by the arm and drag him out. Another silent drive home that night. But tonight, he was much more relaxed and at ease. Has a smile on his face. Just something different about him. Huggy Bear didn't mind, he liked him better this way. Calm. Because a pissed off Hutchinson was not a pretty sight.

"Huggy, seems that business has been good to ya. See more people in here." Starsky stated while pointing a relaxed finger out across the room.

"It's been hoppin' a little bit. Not so much the riff-raff coming in. Thanks to the likes of you two. Better class of clientele. The wait staff hasn't had to steal the allotted amount from me that often, so things are looking better for the back pocket. Hey, you two kiss and make up or something? Glade to see that your at least talking to each other. You two were giving this place a bad rap, with the attitude Blondie here had been carrying around."

"Ya Hug, you could say that. Things have been worked out" Hutch told him with a big, shy smile on his face. Kissed and then some.

"Well I'm glad. You boys enjoy your meal. Let me get back to my other paying customers." Huggy slid out the booth and made his rounds.

"I'm glad we're talking again also. I like you better this way." Starsky winked at Hutch, as he stole the last of the fries off of Hutch's plate.

It was nine when they got back to Hutch's place, after a quick stop by Starsky's apartment for a few more personal things. Not that he didn't already have things at Hutch's. They each had personal things at each others place, since they spend just as much time at the others' as they do their own. Every aspect of their lives, together.

"You want a beer?" Hutch offered over his shoulder to Starsky on the couch.

"Naw, I'm alright."

Hutch turned on the T.V., on his way to the couch. The light glow from it bounced off the room.

"Hey look, our movie," Starsky stated, as Butch and Sundance had just blown up 'The Flyer' for the second time with too much dynamite, and money was raining from the sky.

Hutch went and sat down next to him, took a sip of beer before Starsky reached over and took it from him, drank some and handed it back. Yep, things were back to normal. Hutch moved over some and Starsky laid out across the couch and into his lap. Couldn't count how many times he found himself in Hutch's lap. Just seems like a natural thing.

He looked up into those blue eyes that he loves and smiled. Hutch looked down into sapphire ones, then leaned down and kissed him lightly. Starsky smiled up at him then turned to watch the movie. Hutch held his beer in his left hand, while the right slowly worked up and down the curly haired man's arm and chest. His mind at ease.

Starsky's mind drifted some while the comfort of the evening enveloped them. Man, I really love this man. He just got under my skin and now I don't know life without him, don't want to know it either. I want to live the rest of my life with him. I really want to do this right. Maybe it's too soon. Hell, it's been ten years. But it's only been a few months for this kind of love for him. And only a few hours that we found out we both want this. But time is just a number, right? Love is love, right? When will be the right time? Maybe this weekend at a fancy restaurant. What about that new place over in Elmwood. Or maybe on the beach. Nope, someplace private. Maybe a drive up the coast. I've got to do this right. But is there really a right and wrong way of doing this? Damn, now he's got me thinking too much. Be spontaneous. His mind on his partner and not on the movie.

After about an hour, Hutch allowed a yawn to escape, and Starsky turned and looked up at him. It was late and they had to be in the office in the morning.

"Alright Blondie, off to bed with you."

Hutch threaded his fingers through thick, wavy, dark hair. He loved the soft, silkiness of it. Unlike his, Starsky's hair had body. His own was fine like corn silk. Not to mention thinning.

"Starsk…?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad that we finally got all this figured out. Between you and me, I mean. It took us long enough though. I feel that the best part of our lives are flying past us, and I'm starting to feel old."

"Aw Hutch, we're not getting old, just the rest of the world is getting younger. The criminals and even the new cops coming on the force. But we have experience and brains on our side. And our lives has just began. You and me, we have so much to look forward to now. A lifetime together." He reached up and brought Hutch closer for a small kiss.

"I don't know what I'd ever do if anything was to happen to you Starsk. I would be lost. I get terrified that you won't be here, then I see the look in your eyes and then I know that I'm not alone."

"No Hutch, your not alone. I will always be here. In here Hutch , always," he said as he placed his hand over Hutch's heart, looking up into his eyes. "You have always been there for me. Always there for me in times of need. Every now and then, when I fall apart, you hold me, and I know that my world seems right. What we have Hutch, is very precious to me. There is no replacement for it. And I would never leave you. There will be no others. Understand?"

"And I feel the same with you. Only you and no others," he lovingly looked down.

A feeling of emotions rose from Hutch's heart. The romantic in him surfaced. "Starsk, when I look for trust, I find you. When I look for honesty, I find you. When I look for love, I find you. I was always looking elsewhere when the answer was always right beside me. You are what I was looking for in my life and you were always here, my heart always knew. I guess that my head is just now finding us,"

"Aw Hutchinson, your getting all romantic on me. I like it," he whispered.

Starsky sat up and turned to his partner, took Hutch's large hands in his, and looked deep into his eyes. Why not now? Spontaneous.

"Ken, we've been working and living a life together for ten years now. Have always been there for each other. Through thick and thin, we've been together. We now have a new life to spend together. If we could, would you marry me? Ken, I give you and only you my heart. Would you take my hand also?"

Hutch looked at him stunned. His heart shot off into space. It took him a second to breath again.

"Are you really asking me to marry you?"

"Yes."

"Oh for the love of you, Dave…I would. I mean I will. Yes. With all my heart, I will." He reached over and took the dark haired man in an embrace and gave him a long passionate kiss. He ended the kiss and held Starsky's shoulders and smiled at him, then stood. He took his hand and pulled him up off the couch and led him to the bedroom.

They got undressed. Hutch sat down on the old rod iron bed, and Starsky turned and walked out the room. "I'll be right back."

He went to check the locked door, turned the T.V. off and grabbed his overnight bag that was setting next to the couch. He turned the lamp out that sat on the table behind the couch. The apartment was engulfed in black shadows.

He walked back to Hutch. He dropped the duffel bag down next to the bed, then walked over to the far side of the room and opened the window blind that looked out to the green house. The light of the full moon shined in, painting the room with a soft glow. Hutch sat watching. Starsky then stopped at the foot of the bed and stared at his partner.

Hutch sat propped up against pillows at the head of the bed. One knee slightly bent. The glow from the outside showed the flowing lines of his body. The gentle light played off the long blond hair. His light skin seemed to give off a light sheen.

For Starsky the sight was beautiful. Just knowing that this man in front of him was waiting for him, was like a dream. A dream that he had for many months now and just now coming to reality. He slowly stepped forward to the edge of the bed.

"Hutch, you are beautiful," he softly told him as he climbed up on the bed and sat on his knees between Hutch's. His left hand caressing the underside of the bent knee.

"Your not so bad yourself you know." Hutch ran his fingers through wavy curls. He then gently pulled him and the shorter man leaned over him, bracing himself up with his hands on the headboard. He loomed over him.

Starsky gave him a kiss on the forehead, then his nose and then took his mouth. He lightly pressed their lips together. He then sat back and smiled. The thoughts that were going through his head were of delicious possibilities. His mind was going in all kinds of directions when…Hutch took hold of him, and in one swift move had rolled and flipped him over and now had him pinned under him. Hutch straddled his hips and had a hold of his arms. Younger days of wrestling had paid off. The move executed perfectly. It completely took the smaller man by surprise. Starsky laid there. A look a surprise showed on his face. The move completely unexpected, but pleasant. Hutch, now, very much dominating.

"I love you David, and I want to show you how much," his voice low and deep with desire. He took hold of Starsky's mouth, the kiss strong and passionate. Breathing was void. The power of the kiss brought them both close to unconsciousness, he let go. Deep breaths were loudly taken in. Hutch then maneuvered in between Starsky's legs.

Hutch let go of his arms and slowly stroked his body, up and down, attentive to the nipples and rock hard stomach, gently massaging his body. Stoking him everywhere but his now fully aroused cock. He then began kissing, licking, tasting him. His mouth exploded with the taste of his partner, lightly mixed with salt and soap. Slowly moving over, down, around his body. His tongue made small circles around his navel.

His hands worked their way around to the soft round ass. His hands holding, squeezing, stroking the muscles of his ass, then lifting his hips up to his mouth. He kissed and sucked on the inner thighs, still leaving the erection unattended. The near touch to the groin brought a moan of pleasure and frustration from the man that now laid under him.

Starsky laid there, his mind floating and swelling from the sensations that were now drowning him in ecstasy. He gripped the bed covers as Hutch made his way around his body. The magic of Hutch's mouth on him, brought him close to erupting. He held on.

Hutch then slowly moved up the inner thigh that he was caressing with his mouth, hesitated long enough to moisten the flesh of his anus, and then took hold of the dark, curly haired scrotum into his mouth and rolled his tongue around the soft sack.

Hutch brought his right hand around and let one of his long fingers circle the soft flesh of his anus. Then ever so gently pressed ever so slightly into the soft hole, just enough to send an arrow of heat and pleasure to the darker man's brain. Starsky inhaled deeply. The sensation about sent him through the ceiling. He reached down and grabbed a hand full of platinum hair and gave a tug. Hutch felt the muscles constrict around his finger, then release.

"Ohgod Hutch," he chocked out. His mind on fire with throbbing, heated, pleasure.

Hutch slowly probed with his finger, as his mouth worked on the balls. Hutch relinquished his hold on the sack, then with his left hand under his hips, lifted the groin up slightly, and then ran his tongue up the shaft. He took the erection into his mouth, and sucked one hard time. He felt the organ pulse with need, a need for release. He then released it from his mouth. Removed his finger and moved his body upwards.

He slowly kissed and licked his way back up the body that now thrashed under him.

Hutch looked down at him. The dark haired man's eyes near black. "What do you want David?" The question asked, though an answer wasn't needed.

Starsky reached up, fingers tangled in gold strands, and grabbed his head and ravaged his mouth. It left them both panting.

"You! I want you," the answer came out in the panting.

"Then take me." Hutch seductively told him, his voice low. He leaned down , kissed him and rolled them both at the same time. Starsky now lay on top. Starsky straddled him, and looked down at him.

"Hutch, you sure?" Looking down at the man that he loves. He saw trust in the eyes looking up at him.

"Very."

Starsky gently kissed him. He slowly kissed down his neck, giving extra attention to the soft hollow under the Adams Apple. Slowly moving down his chest. Each nipple received equal amount of attention, and now stood erect. He kissed and licked a straight line down his belly. Hutch's cock hard with excitement. Starsky took it in and slowly moved his mouth down the shaft. His left hand massaging the balls. Hutch's hips lifted to meet his movements. Hutch's cock slowly making love to Starsky's mouth. His body yearned for him.

Starsky let go, moved up, leaned over him, close to his ear and asked, "What do you want Hutch?"

"For you to take me. Please, I want to be one with you."

With that, Starsky rolled to the side of the bed and reached down into his bag for a tube of lubricant. He rolled back over and kissed Hutch on the check. A look into his eyes again and still saw a look of trust in them.

Hutch knew that Starsky would never hurt him purposely and knew that what was about to happen, was going to be uncomfortable at first. But he trusted his partner. His mind was in a world of desire and want for this man. He wanted this man in every way, and giving himself to him was the ultimate test of trust and love.

"Hutch…you let me know if I hurt you babe. Please. I love you so much." A soft voice of concern came from the brunet.

"I love you. It'll be fine. Please I want this…for us." Permission given.

Hutch slowly rolled over. The moonlight showed a strong, muscular back. Starsky lovingly stroked the long back of his partner. He ran his left hand over his ass. Smooth and tight. He leaned down and gave it a small kiss.

He opened the tube and took a small amount of gel onto his fingers and placed his hand onto the gleaming ass. He slowly and gently ran the lubed finger to the soft flesh of the anus. His right hand laid on his back, slowly, unconsciously rubbing. A reassuring touch.

His mind was throbbing with desire for him, but at the same time, conscious for his well being. He slowly inserted a finger into the soft flesh. His right hand felt a slight intake of air. He felt the surrounding muscles of the hollow darkness, tighten uncontrollable around his finger, but then ever so slowly released. He pushed in slightly further. After a few seconds Starsky withdrew, then added a second finger, again the sensation sent waves through the pale body, tensing at first and again it slowly relaxed. With a couple minutes of his fingers slowly making love to him, Hutch's body reacting to the sensation by pushing against his hand, and he knew that Hutch was ready for him.

Starsky positioned himself behind him, between his legs. He took some more lube into his hand and rubbed his hand around his own throbbing erection. He then placed it at the entrance of the pale body that laid out in front of him, nudging the soft opening. Slowly he entered a fraction. He felt and heard Hutch take in a sudden deep breath. Hutch gripped the bed under the pillow under him. Starsky leaned forward, his mouth next to Hutch's ear.

"Hutch please let me know if I'm hurting you."

"It'll be fine. Please…don't stop," his voice slightly hoarse.

Starsky felt the surrounding muscles ease their grip on him and he ever so slowly entered deeper. His long cock sliding up into the soft hotness. Forward and then back slightly. Slowly moving forward again into a world of sensations that he had never been.

Then the head of his cock brushed forward against the hard surface of the prostate gland. This sent a sensation through Hutch that sent his mind into a world that he had never been. Sparks erupted in his brain. His mind suddenly shut out all else that was around him. It was all pushed to the blackness. All his senses were now concentrated on the moment, and the man now inside him, and the need for more. His world was now forever changed to the man that now possessed him, and only to this man.

Starsky pulled back slightly. Afraid that he may have hurt him. Hutch felt his own body unconsciously move back onto Starsky. The need for that sensation over took him. Starsky felt Hutch push back against him. He moved forward again. Again the prostate hit. Hutch's mind exploded. He pushed back onto the man behind him, until Starsky's full length was inside of him. His breath gone.

He then reached back and grabbed hold of Starsky's left hand and guided it to his own throbbing cock. Starsky slowly stroked the shaft in his hand simultaneously with his movement. Starsky grabbed Hutch around him midsection with his right hand and arm, and held him tight against himself. Hutch braced himself against the headboard, with his right hand, while the left still gripped around Starsky's arm.

For Starsky, a primal need to take this man, over took him. His own mind wild with animalistic needs. He wasn't sure where it came from, but taking this man like he was, consumed him. A slow rhythm was established. Slowly rocking back and forth. Both men moving in unison with the other. Starsky kissed the shoulders and back of the man he held tightly. He took hold of the back of the pale neck with his mouth and sucked deeply, leaving a small love kiss.

"Ohgod…Starsk… yes," escaped from the blond, in a deep throated moan. His grip on the arm tightened. His hand motion guiding the speed of the two bodies.

The thrusting quickened. Heart beat with heart beat. Breath for breath. Two minds experiencing never before euphoria. Two bodies locked together in passion. The rest of the world non existence. The soft glow of Mother Nature shimmered off the beaded sweat of the two bodies. Olive skin and pale skin wrapped together. Dark and light, now one.

Both men felt that he could no longer hold out. Hutch's cock painfully pulsating against the hand that held him. Hutch released his hold on the arm. Starsky right arm gripped him tighter, closer to his body as his own, need for release screamed to him. His own cock burned with heat and blood, needing a release.

"Aaawww, Starrrsssk," and Hutch erupted. A fraction of a second later Starsky too, released into the body of his lover. Both bodies now quivering with sudden release and exhaustion. Starsky slowly kissed the back of his neck and shoulders. He slowly withdrawal from the blond and collapsed on top of Hutch. Hutch's shaky body then collapsed onto the bed and pillows under him. Starsky then rolled to the side.

They're breathing deep. Minds blinded in euphoria. Hutch lifted his head just enough to kiss him on the check, then laid there drowning in the pleasure of the moment. His mind empty of the world outside, with the exception for his partner. It swelled with thoughts of him. The new journey with the love of his life started.

Hutch rolled over closer, Starsky gathered the big Midwesterner up in his arms and held tight. This man that had been by his side for the past ten years, gave himself to him. Trusted him in the most intimate way. His heart beat harder for him. The love that he felt was beyond all he knew.

"I love you Kenneth Hutchinson," whispered into the glowing room.

Hutch laid his head on the dark, curly haired chest. A heart pounding it's strong beat against his ear.

"And I love you David."

The two bodies wrapped in the glow from the moonlight. The outside world pushed out of reach. All that existed at this moment in time, was the world of their love. Together. The soft sound of sleep took over and the night enveloped the room.

The next morning found the two men wrapped up in each others arms. Legs intertwined and sheets mixed up in the mess. Both laying on their stomachs. Hutch laid slightly on top of Starsky. One arm over his back and the other tucked under the pillow that they shared. One long leg over and then under darker legs. No real beginning of one body and ending of the other.

Hutch moved first, slowly rolling over onto his back. With one eye still closed, Starsky turned his head over to look at his partner, The sight of the big blond laid out next to him, stirred his heart. Yeah, I can wake up every morning in your arms, looking at your raveled blond hair, and unshaven face. Yeah…this is nice.

"Good morning lover," Starsky softly said as he thought over the night before. He stroked the check of the man he loves. He moved blond hair around on the forehead.

"Morning yourself." Hutch raked a hand through his hair. It didn't mind him and fell back where it had laid. He sat up and glanced over Starsky to the clock on the nightstand. 7A.M.

"I guess I missed my morning run."

"That's O.K. We got enough exercise last night. Got my heart racing," he said with eyes closed again.

"Mine too," Hutch ran his fingers through curls and leaned down and gave him a soft kiss. "OK, up with you, we have work to go to."

"Come on Hutch, it's too early for that. Can't we sleep in a few more minutes?"

"As much as that thought appeals to me, we really need to get moving."

Hutch rolled off the bed, and searched for a pair of boxers and jeans. Starsky laid there watching through half slit eyes. Hutch preceded to the bathroom for the morning ritual. Starsky closed his eyes trying to hide from the morning.

He rolled his head over and inhaled the sent of his partner off the pillow. He smiled to himself. A new life started with the one that he loves.

Giving up to the morning, he rolled over and sat up. The morning light shinning through the window flooded the room. He felt a sense of ease within himself that he hadn't felt in a long time.

Hutch stood staring into the bathroom mirror. For the first time in almost a year he finely felt at peace with himself. No internal fighting. His heart felt full and his brain rested. A smile crossed his face.

Starsky, still clothed in nothing but what Mother Nature gave him, walked up behind Hutch and gently embraced him. He laid his chin on the taller man's shoulder, and looked into the mirror with him.

"You alright this morning? I didn't hurt you last night did I?"

"No Starsk. I'm fine." He reached up behind him and tugged on a handful of black curls. "Come on, get dressed. We've got to get to work."

"I don't know what all the rush is for, not like we can do much in the office today."

"I know but we'll check in, then hit the streets." Hutch turned around in the arms that circled him and returned the embrace. He smiled and softly kissed him. "Come on Gordo, cloths on you, and maybe we'll stop and pick up breakfast somewhere." Hutch gave him a slap on the butt check.

The ride into the station was full of small talk and the chatter from the police radio. Hutch sat nibbling on his wheat toast and Starsky trying to finish up on a breakfast burrito. He pulled up into the garage and parallel parked the red car. He wiped the last of the meal off his lips and they both got out of the car. Hutch with a smile on his face, and Starsky with one because of his partner's.

"Good morning Captain. Isn't it such a wonderful day out today?" Hutch asked as he past the captain in the hall, and not stopping for a reply. The captain just glared back at him, then stopped Starsky.

"Starsky… I don't know what you did to him to get him in a better mood, but keep up the good work son." The captain told him with a small smile on his face.

"Oh, I will Captain. You can count on that," the dark haired detective announced to his superior officer. Oh I intend to. For the rest of my life, I will.

Hutch hummed his way down the corridor. "It's a lovely morning out there," he told Minnie as he past her and Baker in the hall. "Baker," he acknowledge him with a smile and continued his stroll and started whistling. The two stood, slightly taken a back, and watched the tall detective make his way down the hall, and continued with the whistling.

"Hay Starsky, what's up with your partner? He's whistling. You finally get through that thick head of his? Glad to see he's in a better mood, and back to his old self, " Minnie stated with a curious look on her face, as Starsky approached.

"Yeah…you could say that." was all he told her, as he picked up the pace to catch up with his partner.

"Hay Hutch, wait up." Starsky yelled out, sprinting to catch up with his partner. "We've got some time before we have to hit the streets. How 'bout we play a game of Trivia Ping Pong? Huh…loser buys dinner?"

Hutch looked at his energetic partner and smiled at him. "Sure why not. Winner picks the place."

"You got it. Just be prepared to pay, buddy boy," Starsky confidently told him as they made their way down the hall to the squad room.

THE END