A/N: This is based on a gif of Chris rocking on a panda and Piers being on what I can only assume is lookout. It's an absolutely ridiculous Easter egg in Resi 6 that I love…although the eye contact with the panda is a bit disturbing…
"Captain, we don't really have time for this."
"There's always time for this."
"I…respectfully disagree."
Redfield's eyes were large as dishes, countenance sporting the look of a small child in pure ecstasy at the thought of sitting on Santa's lap. Piers was trained and well-prepared for many things – sadly, how to deal with his commanding officer acting in that manner was not one of them.
No matter how difficult, the sniper needed to be firm. Chaos had spread across China and required urgent attention. They lacked the time to be distracted from eliminating J'avo and pursuing Ada Wong.
However cute the panda.
Nivans grimaced. "No." His heart broke at the other's faltering smile, feeling as if he just revealed the Tooth Fairy wasn't real.
"Why not?"
"We have a mission to complete."
Chris seemed none the wiser.
"A very, very important mission? You want to kill the snake that grabbed our men? To capture Ada Wong?"
Still nothing.
A sigh left Piers' mouth. Do I have to draw a diagram? I know he's still suffering from amnesia, but for Christ's sake…
"Please?" the Captain beamed, linking his fingers together in prayer.
The sniper squinted, yet could no longer resist that delighted, innocent expression on the older male's face. At least it made a change from angst and vengeance. Perhaps allowing it wouldn't be the worst idea. However, Nivans remained very uncomfortable with the decision. "Fine."
Redfield was close to popping from excitement, crossing the playground in a few long strides and hopping straight onto the upwards-facing mechanical panda. Piers found that inappropriate, considering how the animal stared longingly into the eyes of his commanding officer. Seeing it straddled did nothing to soothe the former's unease. That was not the end of it; when the ride began rocking, he was forced to turn away and retreat some distance to no longer bear witness to that bizarre image.
Besides, he told himself. It's important we don't get ambushed.
Suddenly, bullets began spraying from multiple directions. By even considering the notion, the sniper suddenly felt he jinxed the relative peace. Apparently, everyone in China had the same desire to ride the black and white bear, and were upset the BSAA reached it first.
Nivans' intense hatred of the situation showed on his countenance, ducking, diving and returning fire in a desperate effort to ensure what happened to Chris in Edonia was not repeated.
Said Captain was completely oblivious to the escalating situation and his comrade's efforts, having the time of his life by continuing to rock back and forth, throwing his arms up in the air and yelling at the top of his lungs.
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The sniper wanted to rage at the idea of being more of a target than his superior, that Redfield had been insistent on the pointless activity in the first place and what he was even doing on missions, the day after being a drunkard in some European bar. I knew this'd happen. Why'd I even try? It would have been more productive to battle J'avo and leave the commanding officer to his fate.
A stray round soared through the air – magically avoiding Chris entirely – ricocheted off the bright yellow slide and struck Piers in his unprotected rear. An odd sensation spread through his lower body, at first numb, before blossoming into intense, searing pain that could make anyone else scream at the top of their lungs. He, on the other hand, let out a series of strangled cries that sounded a combination of cats being caught in a mincing machine and drunkards in a karaoke bar at 3a.m.
The male slumped forward and landed awkwardly on his hands and knees, face to the ground and hands clenched from the agony. Backside raised to the air, his trousers slowly dyed a deep shade of red. Of all the places one could wear armour, he regretted not choosing there. His initial verbal response softened to deep gasps that belonged to a fish out of water and hazel eyes dared to peek over at the older brunette.
Redfield was apparently bulletproof, completely untouched by any of the pandemonium surrounding the pair. I take it back, Piers inwardly groaned. No more rides. I don't care how angsty he gets.
The area abruptly silenced, bewildering Nivans, who struggled to crane his neck and survey the area – and found it littered with bodies. What the-? The enemy had fallen around them, but how? Did they kill each other? It must have been by accident…unless the J'avo fought amongst themselves to claim the playground. Wouldn't put it past them.
At this point, he was done with the mission. The team was supposed to locate Wong and battle an invisible snake, yet this alone had been too much. No more. I can't…
Finally, with some difficulty, the Captain dismounted the panda and bounded over to the smaller male, then crouched, wearing a beaming smile at the latter's face. "Thank you, Piers."
The sniper had no response and butted his forehead into the ground.