Disclaimer: I do not own any of CSI NY or its intellectual properties. Neither do I own Monty Python Not sure what life would be like if I did.
Adam and the Holy Grail
Detective Mac Taylor sighed tiredly as his brown eyes scanned the lab.
"Everybody here? Great. I received a call from Chief Sinclair that we'll be here on lockdown tonight as long as it takes. We have a citywide emergency out there, so this crime lab has to be on alert. The night shift will be in shortly."
A chorus of groans came back to him. "Sorry for the inconvenience. I recommend you call your families, and then order some pizza or get something out of the fridge. Get caught up on work or just grab a nap somewhere. In other words, make yourselves comfortable until I hear otherwise. Any questions?" He craned his neck above the audience. "Detective Flack?"
"Anybody care if I sleep on the break room sofa?" the glassy-eyed cop wanted to know. "Been pulling some double shifts, and it's been catching up to me."
The former Marine shrugged. "That's fine. Somebody will wake you up if we need you. And no, you can't sleep with Angell! Any more questions?"
Disgruntled silence.
He put his hand up. "Okay. If I get the all clear, you can all leave. Now, just for tonight I'm easing some of the restrictions on the computer lab. If you want to watch a movie or something, go ahead. You know the drill. Nothing you wouldn't let your mother watch. Till then, make yourselves comfortable." With that he left.
Danny Messer slapped the table and groaned in frustration. "I don't believe this, man! Stuck here! What the hell are we supposed to do all night?"
Lindsay Monroe walked in, holding a DVD. "Come on, Danny. You heard what Mac said. I rented a bunch of movies at lunchtime. Let's watch."
The bespectacled CSI peered over her shoulder. "Hey! Monty Python and the Holy Grail? I haven't seen that one in a long time." A smile crossed his face.
Lindsay nodded. "That'll take your mind off being stuck here for the night."
Danny and Lindsay sat in front of the main computer screen and watched.
"Hey, I still love Monty Python. This stuff's still as good as it was when I used to watch it!" Danny said as the reflection shone off his glasses.
A weary Adam Ross hunched his shoulders as he strolled past the computer lab. "Hey, what are you guys watching?"
Danny turned to him. "It's the Monty Python lads, Adam. Monty Python and the Holy Grail" he said in a fake English accent. Lindsay giggled.
"You like that, huh? We are The Knights that say Ni! Ni! Ni!"
Adam wandered in and pulled up a chair behind them. "Hey, can I watch?"
"Sure, why not?"
Before long, Adam found himself transfixed on the monitor. "Hey, this is pretty cool! We are the Knights that say Ni! Ni! Ni! And we demand a sacrifice!"
"Never seen this before?" Lindsay asked, her eyes still on the monitor.
"Never. The Knights That Say Ni! Ni! Ni!"
Danny glanced behind him. "Hey Adam! Take that somewhere else, will you? You're bugging me with that, man!"
The scruffy-bearded CSI roamed the otherwise silent hallways. "I am the Knight Who Says Ni! Ni! Ni! I am the Keeper of the Sacred Word! And I demand a sacrifice! Your shrubbery!" he said in an English falsetto.
Don Flack lay on his side, arms folded, his jacket over his head, snoring happily on the brown break room couch when a shrill sound pierced through his sleep.
"Ni! Ni! Ni!"
He convulsed with every syllable. More than annoyed, he opened one eye toward the racket. "The hell is that?" he snarled.
Adam turned toward him. "Oh, hey. Just saying 'Ni! Ni! Ni!"
Don pulled his jacket back over his head. "Well shut up!"
"Sorry." He crept past the tired detective. Safely out of the dark break room, he began again. "Ni! Ni! Ni!"
Don held his jacket more tightly over his ear. "Somebody take my gun away!" he growled.
Sheldon Hawkes sat on a chair with his feet up, his arms folded, eyes closed, when a noise made him jump. He landed on the floor with a start.
"Ni! Ni! Ni!"
Groaning in pain, he stood up tiredly. Adam was at the doorway, peering in curiously.
"Adam! That you making that noise?"
He raised his eyebrows at the tired M.E. "Uh yeah."
"What are you doing?"
The CSI smiled. "I am The Knight That Says 'Ni! Ni! Ni!' And I demand a sacrifice!"
Without another word, Hawkes produced his bone saw. "You ever do that again, and you're gonna be the sacrifice! Now cut it out!"
Adam swallowed and paced back down the hall.
"I am no longer The Knight That Says 'Ni! Ni! Ni!' I am now The Knight That Says 'Icky, Icky, Icky!'"
"Adam!"
Adam stopped in the darkened hallway, turning around slowly.
Mac Taylor stood in the doorway of his office. Not angry. Not laughing. Just glaring down at him. "The Knight is about to go on a quest. Come with me."
His eyes darting around the darkened hallway, he followed his boss through the lab.
With his hand, Mac pointed toward a smelly mass on the table. "Night shift was just sorting through this garbage to find a diamond ring from our latest murder case. But they're backlogged, and I need for you to give them some help."
Ruefully Adam looked at the stinking pile of food, cans, cups, and whatnot. He then looked at his boss. "Uh, Icky, icky, icky?" he said weakly.
"Yeah. Icky, icky, icky. Let me know when you find something." He turned and headed back toward his office. "Have fun."
