Better Than Vera, a firefly fanfic

Title: Better than Vera
Characters: Jayne, Inara and the rest of the Big Damn Crew
Rating: T for crudity—cause this is Jayne, people.
Timeline: Sometime post 'Serenity'.
Word count: 3,602

Disclaimer: I am not Joss. So please don't sue me.

May contain some spoilers for the BDM. Go watch it and make yourself happy.

For anyone who's interested, this was written for a challenge, which was to feature the following in a fic: Jayne, Inara, Vera, silk, and a tattoo.

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'What the hell did you go and do that for, Mal?' Jayne's angry voice preceded him into Serenity. 'S'not like we had the money to spare!'

'Hâo le, Jayne.'

'No, it's not enough, Zoe! Not until I've said my piece!'

'I'm the captain, Jayne. That means I don't got to explain myself—to you, or to anyone!'

'Well, you will this time!'

Inara looked up as the sound of angry boots echoed throughout the ship. The argument could be heard clearly, even when in the corner of the kitchen, as she was. She stirred the stew and pursed her lips. From the sounds of it, it seemed like Mal and Jayne had finally come to the Big Blowout she'd been expecting ever since she had set foot on Serenity.

'I've said it before, and I'm saying it only once again, Jayne,' Mal thundered. 'I will not, not ever, work for slavers! Now, if you don't like my decision, this is your last stop. We're still planet side and we can wait the few minutes more till you get your sorry ass off my boat. I got no place on my crew for a man that questions my decisions.'

He stomped away. There was a beat of silence, and then, the more measured tread of Zoe's feet could be heard making their own way to her bunk.

There was a sound as of something heavy striking Serenity's walls, and then followed the clumping of boots coming her way.

'Chùsheng xai-jiao de xiang huo… hua-ngmiù heishôudâng liúmáng…'

Jayne's angry muttering stopped abruptly as he caught sight of her bent over the steaming pot.

'Didn't know someone was in here,' he said gruffly.

She nodded in reply, sensing that he needed the silence she offered.

He sat down at the table, brooding darkly. He reached for a hip flask, unscrewed the lid, and tossed back the contents.

'Weren't even real slavers,' he burst out suddenly. 'Was only a coupla' girls we were to run to Badger's.' He glared at her as if she had suggested otherwise.

'They wanted to be sold. Needed the coin.'

Inara nodded, wisely remaining silent. She could see that Jayne needed a sympathetic ear.

'S'no different from Companioning, I guess,' he said, taking another swig of his drink. 'They're willing to be trade, and Badger's willing to trade 'em.' He snorted angrily. ' 'T'ain't slaving!'

He relapsed into aggreived muttering, and Inara could only make out a few words here and there.

'Thinks he's so high and mighty…gorramn pretentious húndàn…'

Inara suppressed a smile at his pouty expression. She could only imagine the expression Mal would be wearing now. He'd have his arms crossed surlily, an even bigger pout on his face…

She placed the lid on her culinary efforts and moved out of the room. As she did so, she let her hand rest on Jayne's shoulder for just a moment, and smiled sympathetically into his annoyed eyes. He looked up at her, startled, but she was already moving away.

He stared after her for a long while, thoughtfully taking sips from his flask.

'This is wonderful, Inara,' Simon said, taking an enthusiastic spoonful of the stew.

Kaylee agreed, making little wordless sounds of appreciation. Jayne looked up just in time to see Inara glance quickly at Mal, but his eyes were downcast and he made no comment. Jayne saw a flash of disappointment cross Inara's face, but then it was gone quickly and she was turning to River and serving the girl a second helping.

He chewed slowly as he looked at Inara laughing and talking with the crazy girl.

The doc was right, the stew was some kind of wonderful. Reminded him just a little of the stew his ma'd make, sometimes of a Sunday evening…

And there was the way she had looked into his eyes before, all quiet and sympathetic like, and he'd felt an odd tingle all the way to his toes…

Unexpectedly, Jayne found himself in an unusually pensive mood.

Inara had been with them since Miranda. Been near on two months since then, and she hadn't made a peep about returning to her whore school. And she hadn't been doing any of her fancy whoring business, either. Not a single client in all this time.

Which meant only one thing.

She had decided to stay on Serenity. Permanently. She was now part of the crew.

Well, now. That give room for all kinds of thought.

Jayne frowned. It had been near on a week since he'd realised that he'd started to think of Inara… differently.

Wasn't everyday you came across a woman could make stew like his ma did. And she was damned pretty, to boot. Weren't no one could argue with that.

Plus, he'd be taking her away from Mal, which was always fun.

If it had been any other woman that had caught his eye, he'd have had her by now. But with Inara…

He was uncomfortably aware that she was what his ma would call a 'lay-dee', which meant that he had to woo her.

It was gorramn complication. And Jayne didn't like complications.

How the hell did you go about wooing someone, anyway?

He glanced sidelong at Kaylee and Simon, sitting at the kitchen table next to him. Kaylee was giggling, pushing Simon's hands away as he made to tickle her. The boy was chuckling and Kaylee was almost falling off her seat in her laughter. Clearly, they were happy.

Well, if he took the doc's example, all he had to do was ignore Inara, then say all manner of chûn things to her and make her cry and then finally get shot. Simple enough.

Jayne snorted.

What about Wash, though? He remembered the little man had made Zoe laugh. Almost no one had been able to make her laugh the way he had. Maybe that was what was it took?

He looked up as Inara entered the galley, her features relaxing into a gentle smile as she saw Kaylee and Simon.

'Hey, 'Nara.'

'Hello, Jayne,' she said, smiling at him as she sat down.

'Wanna hear a joke?'

She raised her eyebrows, but her smile didn't falter. 'Of course,' she said.

'Why'd the chicken cross the road?'

'To get to the other side,' River said, entering the galley. She stared at him quizzically. 'Everyone knows that.'

Inara chuckled, shaking her head at the little crazy girl.

He gritted his teeth. 'How's about you work on keeping your trap shut—that work for you, Crazy?'

'Jayne,' Mal said warningly as he followed River into the galley. Zoe was a step behind him as he sat down in his usual place at the table.

He subsided into silence, glowering at River, who stuck her tongue out at him.

Inara hurriedly spooned out the meal she'd made into his bowl, and he dug in with a glare. She passed on to everyone else, receiving a smile in thanks, even from the Captain.

It happened after dinner had been eaten and the table cleared.

Inara had stayed behind to do the dishes, it was her turn that night.

Jayne had left the galley with the rest of the crew, stomping along to his bunk. He'd doubled back as soon as he'd been sure everyone else had retired for the night. He stopped for a while as he heard squeals coming from the doc's bunk, then, remembering his purpose, he hurried on.

He stopped outside the galley, wondering what he was going to say to her. Maybe if he told her the one about the shepherd, the whore and the duck…

He shook his head. No. The one about the nun in the bar… He nodded. Perfect.

He was about to enter when he heard the low voices. Sounded like…

Jayne peered into the galley, making sure he was hidden in the half shadows that surrounded him.

Mal was standing next to Inara at the sink, drying the dishes she was handing to him. She made a pretty picture, wrist deep in soap suds. Not everyday you could find a lady who could cook and clean. And didn't mind doing it none, either.

The Captain said something too low for Jayne to hear, and Inara laughed, a rich laugh that had his gut clenching on him.

Even as he watched, Mal reached a hand into his pocket and fiddled with something there.

'Got you something last time I was planetside,' he said abruptly.

Inara looked up at him, surprised delight in her eyes. She watched as Mal pulled a little square box out of his pocket.

'It's some of that lemongrass tea you like so much,' he said, setting it on the counter awkwardly. 'Saw it in the market—apparently the stuff is grown there, the boxes were a dime a dozen—and well—'

Inara smiled at him, stars in her eyes. 'Thank you, Mal,' she said.

Jayne frowned. This was not good. Wasn't nobody going to move in on his girl before he'd even had a chance to woo her! If a gift was all it took…well, he could do better than a box of stinky tea!

He moved away from the galley as silently as he could. Time for him to see how his finances lay.

Inara rubbed her temples as she entered her shuttle. It had been a long, wearying day, and she was glad to see the end of it.

Mal, Zoe and Jayne had been gone all day on a job, and in the meanwhile, River had had one of her bad spells. Simon and Kaylee had been distraught when they'd realised the girl was missing. It had taken the three of them five hours to find her, in one of the little hidden alcoves that made the Firefly class vessels so famous.

Simon had had to give River a sedative, and the girl had spent the rest of the day sleeping it off in Inara's shuttle. In between, she had talked in her sleep, restless muttering about Mal and Zoe, down on the planet. It had made Inara's heart clench in fear, afraid that something was going to go bad on the job. She'd told Simon, and he'd kept the infirmary ready, while Kaylee had had the engine prepped for a fast getaway.

In the end, nothing had happened, and Mal, Zoe and Jayne had come back with nothing worse than a few bruises. It had been the work of a moment for Simon to patch them up, and they'd had a hurried dinner soon after.

Mal had taken the first shift at the controls, getting them off the planet and back into the black. She'd relieved him three hours ago, and he'd taken her hand in wordless gratitude, dark circles under his eyes and a weary smile on his lips.

Zoe had taken her place at the pilot's seat just now, and Inara was looking forward to a good night's rest. She stopped suddenly as she saw something on her bed. It looked like…

She stepped forward, fingering it experimentally. It was a silk ribbon of the palest blue, soft to the touch. Inara lifted it out of its folds, smiling as the material fell gracefully. Mal must have gotten it for her today and forgotten to tell her about it in all the worry about River.

She shook her head ruefully. The gesture was very sweet, but what was she going to do with a ribbon? She preferred having her hair loose, and on the odd occasions she tied it up, she didn't use ribbons for it.

For all that his gift was impractical, it was the thought that counted. She decided she'd thank him for it the next day.

Inara made her way to the engine room, she could hear Mal's voice from in there, talking to Kaylee about something. The girl laughed, and Inara felt a smile light her own face.

She was wearing the ribbon in her hair, she wanted Mal to see it when she thanked him. She stopped abruptly when Jayne stepped into her path.

'Good morning, Jayne.'

He nodded, smiling at her. 'You're wearin' it, then.'

She blinked, a suspicion forming in her mind. 'This ribbon…'

'Got it for you yesterday,' Jayne replied, scratching at his ear. 'Thought it'd look real pretty in your hair.'

'Thank-thank you, Jayne,' she stammered, suddenly unsure of herself.

'You're welcome,' he grunted in reply. Silence followed for a beat, while she wondered desperately what she should say.

'Oh hell, Nara,' Jayne said suddenly. He rubbed at his face uncomfortably. 'You gotta know that I like you a whole hell of a lot. Better'n Vera, even.'

'I—uh—'

'Jayne!'

He cursed, moving off in the direction of Zoe's shout. Inara waited until he had moved out of sight before sagging into the wall.

Better than Vera?

The jokes he'd insisted on telling her…the little compliments he'd been giving her—notably the time he'd said she had 'a backside as round as a peach'— then this gift…

She shook her head. There was no doubt about it.

Jayne Cobb was trying to woo her.

'I never want to speak to you again, Simon Tam!' Kaylee screamed, stomping out of the infirmary.

Inara followed her to her bunk hurriedly, muttering that she would see what was wrong.

That had been two hours ago.

In the interim, the doc had joined Mal in the galley, and in the bottle of engine wine the Captain had been drinking. Jayne had passed by half an hour earlier, and when he'd seen that the doc was well on his way to getting drunk, he'd joined in. Nothing in the 'verse could be funnier than seeing Simon Tam get drunk.

Not that Jayne had ever seen him drunk before. That was why it was going to be funny.

'But I don' understand,' Simon was saying now, slurring his words slightly. 'She told me that we should always be honest with each other.'

Mal nodded. 'Women always say that, son,' he said sagely. 'They don't really mean it.' He took a sip of his wine, and smiled as he saw Simon frown confusedly.

'They don't?'

The doc's eyes sought his, and Jayne shook his head. Simon shrugged, and took a swig of his drink.

He grinned. He was right, this was fun.

'She was the one who wanted to know how many women there had been before her,' Simon said now, staring into his drink dejectedly. 'I told her it didn't matter, but she insisted…'

Mal shook his head, and took another sip. There was a beat of silence.

'So how many women were there?' Jayne asked curiously, tossing back his drink.

Simon waved a hand dismissively. 'It doesn't matter. She asked me who I'd liked best—so I said, "Risha, she was such a good dancer and we used to have so much fun at all the parties"—and—and—somehow, Kaylee started accusing me of thinking she wasn't good enough for me!'

He shook his head, and moodily up ended his glass. He frowned when he saw that it was empty.

'You know her best, Mal. What do I do?'

The Captain raised his eyebrow at the use of first name, but didn't say anything. Evidently, he'd decided to let it go.

'Well,' he drawled, 'Way I see it, you got two options. You either crawl back to her on bended knee and apologise…'

'Or?'

'Or you drink yourself to unconsciousness, and forget this ever happened.'

'You mean…'

'He means you grow a pair and act like a man,' Jayne grunted. 'Not like a lovesick pup.'

'But Kaylee'll never speak to me again!' Simon said, staring at him in horror.

'So what?' he replied. 'She'll get over it eventually.' He shrugged. 'It lasted as long as it lasted.You had fun, she had fun. From here on, it can only get more like work, everyday.'

'But I love her,' Simon said softly.

'What?' Mal asked sharply.

'I love her,' he repeated unsteadily.

'Well, that changes the landscape considerably,' Mal said, looking at the doc. 'If that's the case, you gotta go apologise.'

'But I did nothing wrong!'

'Even so, you apologise,' Mal said. 'And if she forgives you, you never, never speak to her about other women again, dong ma?'

Simon nodded. He pushed his chair back and weaved drunkenly out of the room.

'And don't you ever make my mechanic cry again, you hear?' Mal called after him, but he didn't hear it.

Mal chuckled. 'Young love at its best,' he said sardonically, knocking back his wine. He pushed his chair back and stood. 'Well, g'night, Jayne.'

Jayne stayed there, even as he heard the sound of Mal making his way to his bunk.

He shifted uncomfortably. The doc was gonna apologise, even when he'd done nothin' wrong! Made no sense.

He took a swig of his drink. Was that what was going to be expected of him, too? Was he gonna hafta apologise for every gorramn thing he said?

He shook his head. Nah, Inara wouldn't be like that.

Would she?

He shook his head again. He was just feeling all worked up because of the doc. Inara wasn't like that. She wasn't gonna screech at him at the top of her lungs for every little thing. She was gonna make him some of that wonderful stew, and sex him up good and proper every night.

He pushed his chair back and stalked away to his bunk, trying to ignore the uncomfortable sensation in his mind.

He heard them screaming before he even got to the bridge.

'Why are you being such a bèn dàn about this, Mal?'

'No way I'm letting you into this mess, Nara! I mean it!'

'I can take care of myself, Mal!'

'Well, you won't need to, cause I'm doing the job alone! Without you!'

Jayne moved to the side as Mal brushed past him, swearing under his breath.

He peered into the room, where Inara was staring out of the window, her back rigid in her anger.

Involuntarily, Jayne was reminded of what he'd been thinking of the night before. He'd been positive Inara'd never argue with him, but looking at her and Mal, he wasn't so sure. Was no way he wanted to have that tongue loosened on him.

Granted, Mal could make anyone lose their temper, but still…

Jayne scratched his head. Was he making a mistake? He looked at Inara again, muttering to herself.

There were plenty of fine lookin' women out there in the 'verse, some of them even better'n Inara. And he'd been doing pretty well for himself, everytime they'd taken shore leave for a spell.

He liked women. Short ones, long ones, tubby ones and even the skinny little ones. That worked out well, because they liked him, too. He had a way with them. He'd even had three whores hanging off'f him, at one time. Been all giggly about his tattoo. Now that had been a night to remember…

Did he really want to give all that up?

If he did take up with Inara, she'd expect him to stay true. Women got a mite tetchy about their men sleepin' round. He rubbed at his head ruefully, where the very first woman he'd bedded had clobbered him when she'd found him with her best friend.

Could he really take to being tied down to one woman alone? Was a woman who could puncture his eardrums with her screaming one he wanted to be tied down to, anyway?

He needed to get this cleared up with Nara right quick. She was tough. She'd get over it soon enough.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped onto the bridge, hoping she wouldn't start throwing things at him or nothing.

'Nara,' he said. She whipped around, colouring slightly.

'Jayne,' she said, her eyes wide. 'I didn't know you were here.'

'S'okay,' he muttered, stepping next to her. How the hell was he going to tell her, he wondered wildly. He had no practise at this 'breaking up' stuff.

Best to get it over with quick.

'Inara,' he said, 'Remember all that stuff I said to you the other day? 'Bout likin' you better'n Vera?'

'Yes?' she said, her voice higher all of a sudden.

'I'd be much obliged if you could forget that ever happened,' he said gruffly.

'Wh-what?'

'Aw, hell, Nara,' he cried, tugging at his ear. 'You gotta know it can't work between us. I'm not the kinda man you can tie down! Jayne Cobb ain't a one-woman man!'

'I—'

'I know it hurts now, but that's just the way it is,' he said quickly, hoping to head off her tears. Weren't nothing worse than a leaking woman. 'You gotta move on.'

He pressed a heavy hand to her shoulder and nodded at her wide eyed expression.

'Jayne!'

Mal's angry shout had never sounded sweeter as he turned tail and bolted down to the cargo bay.

'I told you. Didn't I tell you that you needed my help?'

'I was doing just fine until that lawman showed up! How was I to divine he'd choose that very moment to make inspections?'

'If you'd just let me distract him, like I said I would—'

Jayne sighed contentedly as Mal and Inara's angry voices echoed around the ship.

'I know I was led astray for a while, ol' girl,' he said apologetically. 'But it won't never happen again.' He ran his hands lovingly over the smooth metal. 'You're the only girl for me, Vera.'

End.

A/N: Because I've always felt that Jayne has a bit of a crush on Inara.

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