Yusuke Returns to RAW
By: DMEX
Nothing is mine, ya jackasses!
-Green Room-
The Miz and Alex Riley are talking smack on Yusuke and John Cena (as usual) and Yusuke happens to stumble upon their little talk
Alex Riley: You sure about this…?
The Miz: Yes! For the final and 9th time. If Cena asks we'll blame it on that retard Urameshi…!
*SLAM!*
Yusuke (pissed off): GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME? HUH! HUH!
The Miz: As a matter of fact I-
(Yusuke punches The Miz out cold and does the same to Alex Riley)
Yusuke: Frame me for something will you…?
Kicks The Miz while he's down but you can hear a groan of pain when Yusuke kicks him
-Middle Locker Room-
Maryse is in a foul mood (as usual) and is yelling at Eve in French
Eve: I don't know why your angry, Maryse; but don't take it out on me!
Maryse: (Speaks French)
*SLAM!*
Yusuke (angry): I SWEAR! CAN THIS DAY POSSIBLY GET ANY STUPIDER!
(kicks Maryse's Locker)
Maryse (angry): THAT'S MY LOCKER, JACKASS!
Yusuke (grossed out): OH GOD! YOU REEK! EVER HEARD OF A BATH?
(blushes in embarrassment, then gives him the "talk to the hand" salute)
Yusuke: Is that "talk to the hand?" Well here's something that means the same everywhere in the world…
(Yusuke flips her off and punches her in the face. Eve is in total shock)
Yusuke: I feel better now…
Eve: You went too far!
Yusuke: Give me a ^*&^$ break! You're just gonna let her talk smack on you? YOU'RE GOING TOO SOFT!
Eve: It's a little thing called "restraint" learn it sometime!
-RAW ZONE-
Cole: Yusuke has ABSOLUTLY NO RESPECT for anyone including the Divas and the WWE Champion The Miz!
Josh: The Miz and Alex Riley were going to set up Yusuke!
King: And Maryse kind of asked for it, though Eve put Yusuke in his place.
(King and Josh have Yu Yu Hakusho shirts on)
Cole (angry): TRAITORS!
Justin Roberts: Please welcome back to Monday Night RAW, YUUUSSUKEEE URAMEESHIII!
Austin 3:16 blares in the arena and the crowd is on their feet for Yusuke giving some Stone Cold love for Yusuke
Cole: Why now…?
King: Cut him some slack! You got your Cole Miners and the Mizfits and we got Yusuke 3:16 Fan Base.
Josh: Nevertheless, we are LIVE in Ames, Iowa, where 28,000,000 fans are here tonight in the WWE Universe.
Yusuke: How're you nut jobs out here tonight?
(crowd cheers)
Yusuke: Ya know, WrestleMania 27's coming up; and I personally can't wait to see a certain idiot sitting in a 6x9 box get his ass kicked! AND watch Vickie's gang of idiots get beaten the hell out of!
Kuwabara (joining commentary): So who's the idiot sittin' in da box?
King and Josh point at Cole
Cole (angry): TRAITORS!
King: We weren't on your side to begin with.
Kuwabara: YEAH! BEAT THE $^*% OUTTA COLE!
*: EXCUSE ME!
(Kuwabara jumps out of his chair so fast when he heard you know who, crowd boos as well)
Kuwabara: HOLY CRAP!
Yusuke: I thought you learned your lesson last time Vickie!
(Vickie comes down to the ring and she's fuming. Kuwabara joins Yusuke)
Kuwabara: One your "Friends" Urameshi?
Yusuke (disdainfully): Like hell she is!
Vickie (angry): WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME!
Yusuke (smirks evilly): I said: "I thought your learned your lesson last time VICKIE!"
Kuwabara: Don't tell me you beat her up, Urameshi!
Yusuke: I kicked her ass 'cause she pissed me off.
Kuwabara: URAMESHI! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HIT GIRLS!
Cole: At least SOMEONE agrees with me!
(Yusuke grabs Kuwabara's school collar)
Yusuke (angry): DID YA SEE WHAT SHE PULLED WITH POOR CATLYIN? YOU WERE CUSSING OFF THE TOP OF YOUR ^&(&%&^ LUNGS FOR A WEEK!
Kuwabara: Hey, yeah; that's right!
Vickie: She deserved it!
(crowd boos loudly)
Toddler Koenma (from crowd): YOU SUCK, ICKY VICKIE!
Vickie (to Koenma): BITE ME!
(A/N: Koenma is in the cheap seats with Blue Ogre)
Vickie: Yeah, well, go back to your job at Nickelodeon Studios on the set of Fairly Oddparents!
Ogre: Is this wise of you Koenma sir?
Koenma: Of course it is! I paid for my ticket and I have the right to say what I want! Now hand me that blue sign I made at Arts and Crafts earlier!
Ogre: If you say so, Koenma sir.
Hands Koenma the sign. It says: "GO BACK TO NICK STUDIOS ICKY VICKIE!" and has a picture of Vickie the Babysitter but with Vickie Guerrero's face on it and has an arrow pointing toward the Nick Studios sign. Vickie is even angrier. Yusuke and Kuwabara start laughing.
Cole (angry): OH! COME ON!
Yusuke (laughing): Icky Vickie, my ass!
The whole building roars into laughter. John Cena, John Morrison and Trish Stratus are falling over laughing. Randy has that smartass smirk on his face then starts laughing. Even CM Punk thought it was amusing (and he hates just about everyone). Snooki and the rest of Jersey Shore start laughing at this.
Vickie (extremely angry): THAT DOES IT! WHY IS IT THAT EVERY TIME SOMEONE COMES OUT HERE, THEY COMPARE ME TO SOME CARTOON CHICK! I'M SICK OF IT! IT'S COMPLETELY IMMATURE! I'M OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MOTHER YUSUKE! AND YOU WILL SHOW ME AND THE REST OF MY GROUP RESPECT!
Yusuke (sarcastically): Right, right… Like any of us and these people give a rats damned ass what you think…
Kuwabara: Yeah…! What Urameshi said!
Meanwhile in the Backstage Area, Genkai, Botan and Keiko is watching from the set. Even Kurama and Hiei are watching
Kurama: Should we stop Yusuke before he goes way too far?
Hiei: Why? I kind of like this kind of torture.
Keiko: It's already gone WAAAYYY TOO FAR!
Botan: He's already beaten 3 people up…
Genkai: Let the moron have his fun, he'll be forced to my wrath a little later.
Keiko: Or let Atsuko deal with him again…!
Hiei: I'm going to have some "fun"…
(teleports away)
Kurama: I hope Hiei won't do something he'll regret.
-Back in the RAW ZONE-
Yusuke gives Vickie the Urameshi Stunner (Stone Cold Steve Austin style and yells in her face) Austin 3:16 blares in the arena and the crowd cheers
King: Yusuke has done it again!
(someone in the crowd throws him some cans of beer)
Cole: Oh, God! Don't tell me he's going to do what I think he's going to do…!
(opens one and pours it on a passed out cold Vickie as only Yusuke 3:16 would do)
Yusuke: AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, 'CAUSE YUSUKE URAMESHI SAID SO!
(Austin 3:16 blares again in the arena as the crowd cheers. Yusuke and Kuwabara chug a beer. Even Hiei joins in the fun)
-The next morning, Urameshi House-
A big splash of water is heard followed by Yusuke screaming in pain
Yusuke: OW! MOTHER! THAT'S HOT WATER!
Atsuko: I told you to stop harassing Vickie! Have you no respect for authority!
Yusuke: None whatsoever.
Keiko: And you embarrassed Vickie! For God's sake Yusuke, can't you be mature for your age!
(Pan to outside where Keiko and Atsuko are arguing with Yusuke)
END!