Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, despite my desperate wishes.
A/N: I am working on this huge fic of epic Purt. However, this little idea came to me. And I just couldn't resist Matchmaker!Kurt. This chapter is Tina/Artie.
Make Me a Match
Friday after the week of the bake sale, Kurt and Mercedes were sitting in the food court with Tina, who had just sighed for what seemed like the five hundredth time that day.
"All right, what is with you girl?" Mercedes asked, pointing her finger at Tina. "You've been sighing all day."
"It's true." Kurt added, nibbling his salad. "You've been moping for like a week now. We took you shopping to cheer you up, but you keep sighing and looking misty-eyed."
"A-a-all right," Tina said, squaring her shoulders. "The other day I stayed after with Artie."
"I knew you guys were into each other." Mercedes announced triumphantly.
"Would she be moping if it went well?" Kurt rolled his eyes.
"Sorry, girl. Continue."
"It was going really well. But I felt… guilty." Tina admitted. "So I told Artie the truth."
Kurt and Mercedes looked at each other, then leaned in, eager for some hot gossip.
"I don't have a stutter." Tina took in their surprised faces, then explained. "I was—I am really, really shy. My teacher wanted us to give speeches, but I couldn't do it. So I faked it. And then I just never stopped."
"Oh, my God!" Mercedes exclaimed. "How did you keep it up so long?"
"More importantly, how did Artie take it?" Kurt asked.
"He was very disappointed. He said…" Tina's breath hitched. "That he didn't understand. Because I can just stop having a stutter. But he'll never…"
Tina buried her face in her hands, and Kurt and Mercedes swarmed around her.
"This is something we can fix," Kurt said. "What Artie needs is some guy advice. And I just happen to know someone perfect for the job."
"Finn?" Mercedes asked, causing Tina to give a small laugh.
"Funny. I meant me." Kurt said, straightening up. "Let's go clean you up and continue with a little retail therapy."
Kurt, Tina and Mercedes left the mall later that night, each carrying a few bags. Tina had brightened at the prospect of Kurt's help. Mercedes also seemed hopeful until Tina jumped out of Kurt's newly returned ride.
"Do you know what you're doing?" Mercedes asked, enjoying the spacious Escalade.
Kurt backed out into the road confidently.
"Of course," Kurt answered. "Watch and learn."
Kurt spent the rest of the weekend deciding what to say and what outfit to say it in. And how on earth was he going to get Artie alone to say it?
The answer came to Kurt as he was walking towards second period. He watched Artie roll by and grabbed the handles of his wheelchair.
"Would you like a hand?" Kurt offered.
"Thank you, but I've got it." Artie replied, politely.
"Nonsense. I know how hard it is to push yourself about; I've been in one of these things." Kurt chatted, bracing himself for the conversation.
"It would be nice to just enjoy the ride for once," Artie agreed, folding his arms on his lap.
"Speaking of rides, I finally got back my Escalade," Kurt said, trying to ease into the conversation.
"That's cool," Artie agreed, sounding uneasy at the sudden topic change.
"I took Tina and Mercedes to the mall Friday." Kurt noted Artie's shoulder slump. "Guess what Tina told me?"
Artie turned his head, almost looking at Kurt before returning his head forward.
"I… don't know." Even if Artie was disappointed in Tina, he hadn't forsaken her as a friend at least.
"The stutter? It's an act." Kurt said, waiting to gage Artie's reaction.
"She did inform me of this," Artie said, a sad note creeping into his voice.
"Can you believe it? Having to hide something like that?"
"Aren't you upset that she's been faking it? It was all a lie."
"Upset? No." Kurt said, ready to bring the point home. "Can you imagine being so afraid to be yourself that you would pretend you're something you aren't? Being so scared that people won't like you if you just showed who you really were?"
"No. I can't hide who I am. I'm a cripple for all the world to see." Artie said, trying to seize the wheels and get away from Kurt.
"Saying you're a cripple is saying you're helpless. And you're anything but. You taught eleven people how to dance, all in a wheelchair. That's an accomplishment. So don't say that ever again."
Artie replaced his hands on his lap.
"But Tina—Tina is so afraid, so scared, so shy—she hid herself away from the world. She pretended that there was something wrong with her so no one would hate her for who she truly was." Kurt said, knowing Artie was hanging onto his every word.
"She still lied. It's still wrong," Artie was grasping at straws. "She faked it. I thought that we had something important in common."
"You do have something important in common, Glee Club. Listen Artie, I think you have it all wrong. It is sometimes too hard to be yourself, so you fake it. Whether it's to avoid people or to blend in a little more—"
Artie grabbed the rims of his chair and pulled away from Kurt. He executed a smooth turn, so Kurt could see his angry face.
"Why are you taking her side? Why can't you understand what it's like being different?" Artie demanded.
"Because I did the same thing!" Kurt yelled, drawing stares from the students around them. "I pretended to be heterosexual for a long time, just like Tina pretended to have a stutter. Because it is harder to be yourself when you know people will hate you for it. You have to be yourself; the chair is open and obvious. But if you could hide it, you would."
Artie's mouth was gaping as he tried to find a response.
"Listen, Artie," Kurt said, gently. "Here's what you're going to do. After Glee today, tell Tina you'd like a word. Tell her you feel like you've judged her too quickly. Then ask her if she'd like to discuss it more over dinner tomorrow night."
"What?" Artie said. "Like a—a date?"
"Yes, Artie. You are going to be with Tina. You liked Tina before you knew she didn't have a stutter. She's the same girl, only more articulate."
With that statement, Kurt strutted away feeling confident.
When Kurt arrived at Glee, he pulled Mercedes aside.
"I did it. I totally did it!" Kurt whispered excitedly. "They're going on a date."
"It's about damn time," Mercedes agreed.
"She doesn't know yet though." Kurt whispered. "So act like everything's normal."
Little did the two know that a blonde cheerleader was listening curiously.
Rehearsal went pretty smoothly as they began work on a new assignment. Kurt and Mercedes, however, were not focusing on the assignment. They were watching Tina and Artie, trying to see how things went today.
"Step ball change, one, two, Kurt pay attention," Mr. Schuester said, right along with the rhythm. "Up, down, hands, step and—left, left, right; Mercedes don't hit Brittany."
Mercedes had accidentally stepped to the left a third time, hitting the blonde.
"Sorry, Mr. Schue," Mercedes said.
"All right, five minute break, then we are going to run it again." Mr. Schuester announced.
"Tina, can I talk to you for a minute?" Artie asked, as people broke apart to enjoy the break.
Mercedes and Kurt took a seat, trying to look like they weren't eavesdropping. One Cheerio followed their lead.
"Yeah," Tina stepped over to Artie, looking a little nervous.
"It has come to my attention that my reaction to your news was a little premature. Upon further thought, I think I understand why you would do it. But I'd like to talk it over… with you… at dinner… tomorrow… night." Artie stammered, nervously.
"Are you asking me… out?" Tina said, sounding happily surprised.
"I am."
"Yeah. Okay, tomorrow night."
"I'll pick you up at six." Artie said, smiling.
Kurt grinned at Mercedes.
"I told you I could do it. Call me The Matchmaker." Kurt said haughtily.
"I am not calling you that," Mercedes said. "But I will give you props. Artie looks so happy he could explode."
"And it's all thanks to me… The Matchmaker." Kurt said, smugly.
"The matchmaker?" a blonde whispered.
"All right, guys, let's hit it!" Mr. Schuester announced.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Next chapter will be a new couple, and it will be slash. But that's all you get to know.