A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill, or Through the Glass by Stone Sour.
I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head
Walking down the streets of LA, I am startled by the sudden appearance of golden curls through a window of the nearest café. I knew she was in LA, but never dreamed that I would actually see her while in town for preseason training, even though I had secretly hoped to. I quickly walk in the doors of the quaint establishment. It has been ten years since I last spoke with her and I refuse to miss this opportunity. I often find myself thinking about her wondering what had become of her. Turning around she stares at me before entangling me in a hug.
How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me
"Nate, wow, it has been forever. I've been reading the paper. How does it feel to be playing for the Lakers?" I see the glimmer in her eyes, the same one she used to get when I would remember a record she wanted or a special date. God I've missed her all these years.
"Good" is all I can muster out. The NBA was my dream all those years ago, but something along the way changed that. Now I am just going through the motions of life. "How about your life, are you knocking 'em dead out here, Sawyer?"
"I try, but you know can't really knock 'em dead bringing them their coffee or mail now can you?" I see the light that was so exciting disappear. I know she wanted to do more for the music she loved, and playing the job of coffee girl had to be killing her…but that is something she would never admit forthright. "So how are Haley and Jamie doing? Did you bring them with you?"
"No, they are still in Tree Hill for now." Yes I have a wife and a son, but the feelings that arise when I get near the blonde that was once mine far outshine any feeling I've ever had before.
Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head
"Wow, it really has been a long time, huh? You should sit and have something to eat with me. We can catch up."
"Sure" so I sit down at the table and stare at the grown woman I now see before me. I can look into her eyes, but I can't see into her soul like I once could. This woman is practically a mystery to me.
How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(No more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen
A few hours pass by, and I can't think of anything else but continuing this conversation with Peyton. I have told her about the NBA, Jamie, and life in general. She has spoken about her tasks at the record company and all the good bands she has been able to meet.
"So you are happy out here?" I ask hoping to find the truth behind the smile she puts on.
"Yeah, as happy as I can be, I guess, I mean in high school, life sucked with everything that happened. My moms, the shooting, a stalker, and all the heartbreak." I can see her flinch at the words and wonder if she could possibly be referring to us. Not that it matters. "But I guess I just thought back then that life could be so much better. I am not sure how much I believe of that anymore." Her voice is now weak, same old Peyton, just a different scene. I feel bad for her and want to tell her that life can be so much better, but I can't.
I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head
"Jamie is probably the best thing that could have happened to me, but other than that I think I have lost a little faith in life too. Probably started when Dan killed Keith. I mean I knew my dad was a monster, but I didn't think he was a murderer. Haley has been a model wife, but the connection has drifted. I think I started falling out of love with her when she was on tour with Keller, back when we started hanging out again. I just wanted me and her to work so badly. The NBA is a dream come true, it just isn't my dream. I am starting to understand that my love for basketball was tied too heavily in my father. I don't think it is solely mine." I do everything but admit the place she holds in my heart, and I pour my heart out to the one woman who can make life seem not so bad. She has been through her fair share of hardships, and it is comforting to know she will open up to me as I do her.
And it's the stars
The stars
That shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars
That lie to you.. yeah-ah
"I guess when you wish on stars when you are little, you are naïve enough to think that they will happen, and you will feel only good emotions. But they lie, and life isn't as nice as you think."
I look down at my watch, if I miss practice I will be kicked off the team, and that means no financial support to take care of my son. "Well, I have to get to practice. It was good talking to you Sawyer, I hope your dreams can still come true and make you happy." I say while pulling her into a hug. I can feel her curls grazing my cheek, and her arms squeezing my torso, and I release a tear for the love that I lost so many years ago.
"Good bye, Nathan." She says as we part, and I walk out of the café, out of the arms of the woman who can make my heart skip.
I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head
I stop at the glass window and take one final look at the beautiful woman I just spent my morning with. I want to remember every twist in her hair, every sparkle in her eyes, and glimmer on her skin. I really do hope her dreams come true and make her happy.