Title: Butterfly Wings
By: Moondreams
Notes: this is pure angst, but this will probably develop into something more. Review please.
Did you know that my name meant butterfly? No, you probably didn't. Not many people bother with knowing the meaning of names. From the moment I found out my name, I knew I was meant to fly. Over the years I've trained long and hard to become good on a broom to become a good seeker. Was there really a time when I thought being good at quiditch was the only thing that mattered?
Cho soared over the quiditch pitch. The rest of her team mates had left a long time ago. It had been an awful practice. Roger had given them a good row after that. Selena had let too many quaffles go through the rings. Gavin had gotten a bloody nose after missing a bludger. She, herself, had done worst of all. She had barely caught sight of the snitch. She had refused to cry when Roger yelled at her. She hadn't cried when she had gotten the letter either. But now, when there was no one around the tears fell blinding her vision. She felt like screaming but all she could do was sob hysterically. How could this happen? Why? Her parents loved each other. They made a vow to stay together on their wedding day. The letter from her mother had given her few details about the divorce. Her father had walked out, her mother had written angrily. The letters had been dark and deep signaling too much pressure being placed on the quill. Part had been smudged carelessly. She had crumbled up the letter and threw it in the nearest trash can then went to class as if nothing had happened. No one knew nor was anyone going to find out. She was tired of the whispers about poor Cho whose boyfriend was killed. She clinched her fists until she felt her nails bite into her skin. She had lost Harry as well. She cried harder as she tried uselessly to wipe away her tears with the sleeve of her quiditch uniform.
Why did everyone leave her?
What had she done wrong?
Why?
She looked over the Hogwarts ground. Even from the air she could see the other students laughing and walking around the grounds enjoying this usually warm winter's day. None of them really knew of her pain. No one knew how deep it was, how it made her body feel heavy with grief, how her heart broke as she something would bring up a memory of Cedric. She sometimes she thought she smelled his cologne in the hall. Or see a book she remembered him reading. She closed her eyes and started flying. It was dangerous, she knew. But, if she kept pushing or if she was fast enough, maybe her pain would be left behind. A jolt of wind jerked her broom making her open her eyes. She was now flying over the lake. She felt herself shiver. She had always been deathly afraid of water. She had almost drowned as a child when he brother had thrown her into the deep end of a muggle friend's pool. She looked down into its murky darkness. She had almost thrown up crossing the lake as a first year. She closed her eyes again taking deep breaths as fear threatened to over take her. She peeked again looking at the waters below her.
Would it hurt?
Would she feel anything?
She was so tired of the pain and sadness that had crept into her soul. Would anyone miss her? Would they realize she had gone? She would be forgotten… only the heroes were remembered. Would her parents mourn her loss or simply shake their heads? Would they wonder what happened to perfect little Cho who made perfect grades and spent all her time on the quiditch field?
Would they?
She let go of her broom.
Flying.
She was flying.
Did you know my name meant Butterfly? Did you know that when our wings are wet that we no longer fly? Did you know?