1. Sam

God, d*mmit, Sam thought and sighed. His head was buried in his hands, gripping in his own hair. A single tear ran down his face, as he thought over everything. Mistakes had been made, affaires had been started, and now all he wanted, was that one person. The person he could never have again.

A month earlier.

"Why can't you just admit it?" Fred said calmly. "Admit what? That I'm NOT gay? Okay. I am not gay, Fred. N.O.T." Sam spat back irritated. He was annoyed with Fred, the boy that had convinced him of his attraction to boys. But lately, the blonde was not what Aston wanted. He wanted something completely else. And Fred couldn't take it, he couldn't believe it.

A soft smile appeared on Fred's face. "You are not even convincing yourself, Samuel. So how could you with that ever convince me?" His hand softly stroke over Sam's face. He shivered. "Stop that." His whisper came out weak, soft. Fred grinned, satisfied. Sam did not know why Fred made him feel so insecure, but he was sure that he had to make sure he did not want to date the Ravenclaw boy.

"It's not like you want to." His lips whispered close by Sam's ear. The next moment, Fred pressed his lips on his, and Sam kissed him back.

"Why would you want a break? We were going fine." Fred interfered. Sam bit his lip quietly. "I do not think we're fine, Fred." His reply was soft, as he stared towards the ground nervously.

Sam had come to the 5th years' dormitories to scoff at Sirius, because he was being so mean to his sister Maddie, even though she was his best friend's girlfriend. The older boy was utterly surprised, to see Sirius, in only a towel, cuddling himself on his bed as if he had a nervous breakdown.

His grey eyes stared straight back into his. "What the hell do you want from me?" Sirius screeched as he noticed Sam standing in the door way. All the things he had wanted to yell at the younger Gryffindor, all the things he had wanted to hit out of him, they were all gone. Sam could only stare.

"Uh, I don't know." He smirked and let his glance glide over Sirius' body. Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked at him curiously. "Well then. Go away." Sirius replied easily. Sam nodded, but walked up towards Sirius, not knowing why.

"Good night, Sirius." He said, before pressing his lips on Sirius' softly. As he walked away, a stupid grin appeared on his face.

"Hey, wait up!" Sam turned around seeing Sirius chasing him. "You did not just kiss me good night, now did you? " The boy asked with a grin.

"Guess you did." Sirius climbed up the stairs where Sam was standing and closed the distance between them. Leading Sirius the way to his room, Sam's lips did not leave his. "Pleasant surprise." He grinned, before kicking the door shut.

"Whatever you want, Samuel." Fred spat angrily, before busting away. Sam climbed through the portrait hole, and busted up the stairs. Smiling at seeing Sirius' open door, he walked inside. His heart beat uncontrollably, he wanted nothing but to see the boy, to love him and be with him. To be officially with him.

"Hello you."

He smiled, as he spotted Sirius' on his bed, all alone. Sirius' returned him a grin, before closing the door behind Sam. "Good afternoon," Sirius smiled, before pressing his lips on Sam's.

"Fred. Go away." Sam said calmly as the boy blocked his way. "No." Fred said, staring straight into his eyes. He sat down on one of the brown desks and folded his arms in front of his chest.

"I want to know why you dumped me. I know you're now with this 5th year, but I guess you do not know everything." Sam's eyes widened and suddenly he was very interested in what Fred had to say.

"I can't stand it anymore, Remus!" Deena screeched desperately. "I opened up to you, I accept everything, what you are, who you are. But I cannot be him!" Her hand raced through her hair, shocking in horror as she held a strand of it in her hand.

"What do you mean, Deena?" Remus said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I cannot be Sirius." She said softly, hurt. Remus sat straight up, his eyes widened in amazement.

"How do I know? I'm not dumb, Remus. I see it. The way you two look at each other. Guilty, oh yes, but wanting. You want him. You had him. And I cannot be him." A tear rolled down over her cheek. Remus made a gesture to wipe it away, but Deena stopped him.
"So, until you figured it all out.."

She sighed. "I cannot be with you." And with that she stood up, and walked away.

"How can you possibly know all this?" Sam asked, his eyes widened. "Deena is my sister." Fred said simply. Sam stared at the floor, biting his lip to push away his tears.

"That Sirius cheated on me, doesn't mean I want you." He said quietly and stood up, bashing away. The hurt he felt tore him up on the inside, he couldn't think straight. Sam bolted outside, wanting to be alone. He loved Sirius, he thought the boy loved him back. He felt so confused. Dropping himself down on the floor, he pushed his back against the wall, burying his head in his hands, when he heard soft footsteps approach.

"Do you feel it too?" Deena said softly, as she approached Sam. He glanced at her curiously. "The hurt." She said calmly. He sighed and nodded.

"Thought so." She whispered. Sam observed her pretty features and noticed how strong she was, though fragile-looking. As he glanced into her chocolate brown eyes, he knew he better hadn't done that. He now wondered how it was like to kiss her, which confused him even more, because he had just accepted the fact that he was gay, and liked guys. Now Deena totally messed up his mind and he did not like it one bit. Their lips softly met, hesitant and grew more passionate every minute they were glued together. After the kiss, Sam felt guilty. He did have any feelings for Deena. But looking in her eyes, he realized that neither did she.

"I just cannot believe it, Sirius!" Sam cried, hitting himself for his forehead. Sirius just stood there, waiting for Sam to calm down. But he did not calm down. He paced up and down, trying not to lose his temper completely. The boy felt desperate, wanting to show Sirius he could not do this to him.

"How can you be so easy about this? You just tell me that I'm not the only one you're in love with and you just expect me to accept that?" Sam said, snorting angrily. As Sirius nodded quietly, he groaned. He was so easy about it, like he could not help the situation. But he was the key to this all. He was the one to decide what was going to happen and whoms heart would be broken. Sam just hoped it wouldn't be his.

"I can't do that, Sirius. Do you understand that? I do not want to share you. I..I'm going now. You should think about it." He said confused, desperate. Bashing out of Sirius dormitory, Sam had to cry, but wasn't willing to show it.