If You Leave

by penguin of death

The final war has come, but Harry has one last goodbye to say before he goes. This is the story of Harry and Ginny's last night together. A songfic to 'If You Leave' by Nada Surf. Definitely a HPGW fic.

(A/N – This is a one-shot songfic I wrote to Nada Surf's 'If You Leave' (if you don't know this, it was in an episode of The OC, and the original version is the one at the end of the film Pretty In Pink at the prom). I know the song was originally by OMD but this version fits the story so much better, and was the one in my head and on my CD player when I was writing this. It was just a plot bunny that floated around my head for over a week and slowly sent me spiralling into madness until I just had to sit down one night (3am, people) and type non-stop for an hour. This is the result. Hope you enjoy!)

DISCLAIMER: JK who? whistles innocently

Ginny looked out over the lake. The moonlight danced on its calm surface; such a beautiful night, yet she wiped a tear from her cheek. Where is he? she thought, He wouldn't go without saying goodbye, would he? A light breeze whistled through the trees, and she instinctively wrapped her arms around herself; she'd forgotten her robes in her hurry to get out to the lake. But what if he bailed at the last minute? What if he thought it would be too hard? What if -

'Ginny?'

She froze, unsure of what to do. She'd run through this so many times in her head since she'd received his owl that morning, but she could never have prepared herself for the reality of why she was there.

'Ginny?' His voice was trembling slightly, as was the hand which touched her shoulder.

She turned slowly to face the man she loved more than life itself, and gasped. Training with the Order and the recent minor battles had obviously taken their toll. His black hair was more dishevelled than usual, he had a fresh cut on his cheek, and his shirt was torn and dirty, his robes lying discarded on the grass beside him. But his eyes – oh, god, his eyes! They still sparkled like precious emeralds, reflecting the moon's light.

'Harry?' she asked, still uncertain whether it was just her aching heart making her imagine things, 'Is it really you?'

'It's me.' His reply was barely audible, but she rushed into his arms, pressing her lips to his in a hungry kiss; she'd missed his lips, his kisses, his touch. She moaned as the kiss intensified, as he pulled her tighter into his body, his hands running through her long red hair, trailing up her back, caressing her shoulders. Eventually, he pulled away gently.

She looked up longingly into his hypnotic eyes, her heart splintering as she spoke. 'I don't want you to go.'

If you leave, don't leave now

Please don't take my heart away

'I don't want to go either, you know that Gin.' He couldn't meet her gaze, 'But I have to.'

'No! No, you don't!' she cried desperately, 'Not now; stay with me! Please, stay tonight!'

Promise me just one more night

Then we'll go our separate ways

'Gin, don't do this. Please, don't make it any harder than it already is.' He looked down into the black water of the lake.

She followed his stare. 'It's not fair! Why us? What did we do to deserve this! We were so happy.'

We always had time on our sides

Now it's fading fast

'Gin…' he tried to console her, but to no avail.

'WE WERE HAPPY!' she screamed, her voice echoing through the trees, 'WHY DO THEY HAVE TO TAKE IT ALL AWAY?'

He reached out to wrap his arms around her, but she thumped her fists on his chest, before collapsing against his body, sobbing, 'We were happy…'

Every second, every moment

We've gotta make it last

He held her tightly, burying his face in her hair, the faint coconuty scent awakening his senses, the scent that always reminded him of her, of Ginny, of i his /i Ginny. Her wild sobs died down to quiet sniffs as she relaxed in his arms, and her crying stopped.

In his arms she ususally felt safe; she felt no pain, no sorrow, no fear. Nothing but love, nothing but passion. Yet tonight was different. His embrace only served to remind her of the fact that she may never be held like that again. She gripped him tighter, afraid to let him go. Maybe if I hold on tight enough, he'll stay…

I touch you once, I touch you twice

I won't let go at any price

I need you now like I needed you then

You always said we'd still be friends someday

She felt his body stiffen slightly, and looked up to see unshed tears in his green eyes.

'What? What is it?' Something deep inside of her knew there was more to come; she could almost feel her world begin to crack around her. 'Harry, why did you come here tonight?'

'I – I had to do this in person,' he replied, avoiding her eyes once again.

She reached up and grabbed his chin, turning his head so he was forced to look at her. 'Do what?'

He took a deep breath, and slowly pushed her hands away from his body. 'I think it would be best if we… broke up…'

Ginny felt as though she had just been hit by a truck. 'What?'

'I said-'

'No, I heard you. You're really breaking up with me? Now!' The last word came out as a strangled shriek. How can he do this? Now, of all times! Just before he goes off to fight the final battle against Voldemort! He could die in a few hours, and he wants to break up with me!

'I'm sorry, Gin. I love you so much, but -'

Her body stiffened. 'No, if you loved me even half as much as I love you, you couldn't so much as think that! The pain alone would kill you.'

'Gin, I –'

'Just go! I can't even bare to look at you right now!' Her heart was tearing apart as she spoke, but she resolved not to let him see her cry over this, and she turned her back to him.

If you leave, I won't cry

I won't waste a single day

But if you leave, don't look back

I'll be running the other way

They stood in silence for a while, until she thought that he actually had left. But then he spoke, his voice timid, 'It is killing me.'

'You seem okay to me.' She hated speaking to him this way, but her pain was taking over. 'What happened to us? We used to be able to take on the world; as long as we were together nothing bad could happen.'

'It's the war. Things change.' She heard him shuffle closer behind her, 'We've seen things no one should have to, let alone a couple of teenagers. Love does nothing but get you hurt. We've seen our best friends die, our families, even innocent bystanders who did nothing but be in the wrong place at the wrong time! '

She flinched at the anger in his voice. It was true, death had plagued them all through their years at Hogwarts, and now that those were coming to a climax, so too was the conflict. But the one thing they'd had all those years, the one thing which had kept them from falling apart, was each other. Even if they'd only realised their true feelings for one another a year before, they'd been there as friends for much longer.

Seven years went under the bridge

Like time was standing still

'I love you Ginny. More than I've ever loved anyone. And that's why I have to let you go.' His voice was heavy with sorrow, and he sniffed lightly.

Her heart almost tore in two as she heard him cry; she'd only seen it once before, after Sirius had died. Even when Neville, one of his best friends, and Molly, her mother and the closest thing he'd ever had to one had been killed, he hadn't shed a tear; it had only strengthened his will to fight. Yet here he was, standing on the edge of the lake, in the safety of the Hogwarts' grounds, tears streaming down his cheeks as he watched her.

'Harry, you're not making any sense. If you love me, surely this is the time when you would need me most, the time when you'd want to be with me?' She turned back around to face him again.

He reached out his arm, lightly running his fingers along her cheekbone. 'You are so beautiful.' He stopped moving his hand, letting his fingers linger on her skin. 'You have no idea how much this is tearing me up inside.'

'Then why do it? Why break up with me?' She couldn't help the desperation in her voice.

'Because I want you to be free.' A sorrowful smile graced his face, much like that of a proud owner setting free a precious wild bird.

She shook her head, 'I don't understand. Free from what?'

'From me,' he answered simply, 'We both know I'm probably not going to make it back tomorrow. I don't want you to feel guilty. I want you to be able to move on, to find someone else, without feeling like you're betraying me.'

She felt a single tear fall from her eye. 'But there could never be anyone else.'

'There will be. You deserve that much. And I am not going to get in the way of your happiness.' He gently entwined his fingers with hers.

'So this is it? You're really breaking up with me?'

'I have to.'

'What if I don't let you?'

'That's not your choice to make.'

She remained silent for a while, feeling the gentle breeze tease her skin, before leaning her head against his chest, hearing his heartbeat through his shirt.

'So what happens now?'

'I don't know.'

Heaven knows what happens now

You've gotta say you will

She pulled back and looked up into his eyes, 'We still have tonight.'

He looked down at her, a questioning look on his face. She didn't reply, but instead stood up on her toes to lightly kiss him. Slowly, she raised her hands and began to unbutton his shirt, and he shrugged it off before wrapping his arms around her fragile frame. Their eyes met, and he gently laid her down on his robes, never once breaking his gaze from hers.

I touch you once, I touch you twice

I won't let go at any price

I need you now like I needed you then

You always said we'd meet again someday

As the sun rose the next morning, Ginny awoke in Harry's arms, her head on his naked chest, her limbs entangled with his. He was already awake, watching her in the dawn glow.

'How long have you been awake?'

'A while.'

'Why didn't you wake me?'

'I was watching you sleep. It was nice to see you so peaceful, you looked so innocent. I want to remember you that way.' He smiled down at her.

She twisted round so she could kiss him; a sweet tender kiss, not like the lusty passionate ones the night before. But he soon broke away.

'I have to go now.' His eyes bore into hers, and she could actually feel her heart shatter.

'I know.'

He reached for his trousers, 'I wish it didn't have to be this way.'

'But it does. I understand.' She wrapped his robe around herself and stood up; it was several sizes too large for her but it still had his scent; woody, with a hint of vanilla, and that was how she liked it.

He pulled his shirt on again, and turned to face her. The sun was climbing above them now, and she knew the end was drawing near.

'It's time.'

'Will you come back to me?' Her voice was weak and slightly shaky.

He looked into her eyes for a moment before leaning down and kissing her lightly on the forehead, something which always made her feel safe.

I touch you once, I touch you twice

I won't let go at any price

I need you now like I needed you then

You always said we'd meet again someday

'Someday.'

And then, like a soldier to war, Harry turned and headed across the grass in the direction of Hogsmeade. He didn't look back, which Ginny was glad of, because she knew she would never have been able to let him go if he had.

'The fates took him from me. Please, gods, let them send him back to me.'

Her prayer was unheard by her lover, as he climbed the hill, fading into the horizon, until he was gone from her sight.

If you leave

If you leave

Don't look back

Don't look back

(A/N – Well? What did you think? Please review to let me know! Also, if you like my writing, check out my main novel length fic, 'For Love And Money', which is a Draco/Hermione romance. Or, if you're in the mood for another songfic, I have one called 'Bohemian Rhapsody' (don't worry, it's not as depressing as this one, it's more humorous). )