Everyone's A Little Crazy

Suicide Note

The man that had fought by my side no matter what, fell to the blade of the blonde that had filled my dreams, along with a thousand others, with horror. The horrible man that had plagued the world with out any remembrance of what he had done. Most knew him as Seifer but to me he had no name, no true name. He was the man that had made my life hell.

I still think of that day. The day that my heart had been torn to shreds by him. He is Lucifer himself. No one should feel how I am forced to. That day he stole my love's life. He destroyed the man that I would and could never forget. This day I know is when I am forced to remove myself from the dreaded world. No one could ever convince me to change this, None but him. His ocean blue eyes, his golden blond hair that shone like no other. Only he could convince me otherwise. I fear that no one will find this until they have found me. Not many come to my place now a days. They say I have become a shadowy beast and will never come from my home of hate and despair. They all have given up on me as though I had no chance in the first place. Now I fear if they were right, if I had given up before even trying.

I remember him as though he was here by my side. I can feel his soft but muscled skin his tan tone and his fluffy hair. I can sense myself at his side breathing lightly on his neck. Him kissing my forehead softly. I can see him cheering me after the battle. But I know that that could never happen, that the only way I could ever see him again, would be to die. Death will bring me my love. My sweet, sweet Zell, I will see you again, I promise you this.

Goodbye,

Irvine Kinneas

Quistis read the note aloud to everyone. The room was silent, not even Selphie moved, or made a sound. Tears actually came to the eyes of everyone in the room, even the emotionless Ice Princess's eyes watered because of the death of the cowboy. Everyone thought he was dead anyway, his gun was there, and there wasn't a body in sight. As of right now he'd merely disappeared leaving a suicide note behind him. There was no idea, or way of knowing what was going through the mind of Seifer, but he was acting different, acting sad, but nobody saw it.

After nearly fifteen minutes of standing there in absolute silence, no sob, no shifting of weight, nothing, complete silence, he left. The blonde that had taken the lives of not one but two of the world's heroes, left. His face was filled with sorrow, but no one in that room could see it, all they saw was a heartless man leaving the scene of yet another of his many crimes. Nobody saw the boy when he got back to his room, nobody saw him crying. There was absolutely no way they could've, he made sure of that.

Seifer had wanted to live a simple life after he'd gotten out of the Sorceress's grasp. He actually thought he was going to be able to. That changed when he heard about the smaller blonde, he didn't know about it until the funeral. When he showed up everyone glared at him even the Mrs. Optimism, he new something was wrong. He knew he had done something, he even had an idea of what it was. It took him a long time to finally work up the courage to ask the, brunette, gunblader if it was his fault, his fault Zell, the over bouncy, over confident blond, had died. He was hoping his theory was wrong, every inch of his body pleaded that Squall would lie and tell him it wasn't his fault. But that didn't happen, he felt as though he was being flung into the six foot hole instead of the smaller boy, his life, everything he had hoped for was ruined, and nobody noticed that he too was hurting.

Squall continually told the tall blond that it wasn't all his fault that he had no way of knowing, no way of stopping himself. The brunette didn't get it, the blood was on his hands, whether he knew what he was doing or not, everybody still hated him for it. Now he had even caused another of his friend's death, sure he never really knew the guy before Zell's death but he had wanted to, he truly did, he wanted to know them all. Still he had one person who would at least put up with his presence, the last person he'd expect, the Ice Princess.

Seifer was in his room, he was sprawled across the floor blood oozing from his wrist, tears spilling over his face, his blonde hair limp and wet with sweet. There was no knock, Squall knew what Seifer was doing, he knew how it felt, he had, and was still going through the whole cutting issue. He saw the pale skinny blond on the floor sobbing and clutching his fists until the nails bit in. " I didn't want this to happen." he said turning onto his back. His face was smeared with tears. " None of this, Everything was supposed to go back to normal, No one was supposed to die, Squall, I didn't want any of this to happen."

The brunette knelt beside him. He shook his head and handed the blonde a towel from the floor. " None of this was supposed to happen, it just did." The boy replied, " People just want someone to point the blame to, and since the Sorceress is gone your the only one that can take the hateful remarks and looks without them having to say it was some one completely irrelevant."

The blonde sobbed again " You always draw out answers." He rolled to his side and grabbed the knife next to him. " Thanks anyway, Squall, but I'm pretty sure everyone else would want me dead," He dug the knife into his wrist again and let another line of blood spread across his arm. The brunette snatched the knife from him and threw it to the corner of the room. "WHY WON"T YOU LET ME DIE!" The once strong, cocky man, curled himself into a ball. " I get it now." He sobbed, " You want to see me waste away like Irvine did, or is it that you want to kill me like Zell had died, at the hands of a gunblade? But you wouldn't do that, you know you'd end up clutching on the doors of death like I am. It doesn't matter who it is, Squall but if you know them, whether its with deep hatred or unmatchable love, it will drive you to insanity."

The man shook, he was cold, he was suffering massive amounts of blood loss, still he managed to climb to his feet. " Go ahead, I would rather die than have to live knowing that I killed two of the people who tried to save my life." He spread his arms and tilted his head back, he meant it.

"AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO FUCKING NOTICED!" It was the brunette shouting this time, He clutched his head and dropped to his knees. Seifer tilted his head to look at the other boy, he was crying, really crying. His nails dug into his scalp and he was barely staying on his knees. "Irvine's not dead."