Note: Batman is owned by DC and Warner Bros. and My Little Pony: Equestria Girls is owned by Hasbro. This story is dedicated to Bill Finger, Adam West, and all of the wonderful people who have helped the Batman franchise.
The Joker and Penguin recently got out of Arkham Asylum, but they had been struggling about finding where to hide and what to rob. They were driving in Penguin's car when the Joker said "You're apparently the smartest criminal in Gotham so you better think of a good plan."
The Penguin smiled and replied "I have a great plan. I know a place that's so far away that Batman would get lost. Also it's a place that's rumored to have magic."
The Joker asked "What's the magical place?"
The Penguin said "There's been tons of freaky magic stuff going on at Canterlot High."
The Joker responded "It seems weird that a high school would have magic stuff. It seems like something that kids would make up."
The Penguin replied "It's too tempting off an offer to not check on. If there's magic there we'll steal it and become the most powerful criminals in the world."
The Joker and Penguin drove to Canterlot High. The Joker said "We stand out like green clowns around here so we better find that magic fast."
The Penguin replied "Thankfully I installed a magic detector in my umbrella." He turned on the magic detector to find the magic. The detector made noises around the portal that can transport people to Ponyville. He said "The magic seems to around this mirror."
The Joker said "Then lets steal the mirror."
Meanwhile Batman was trying to find the Joker and Penguin. He said "I'm not sure what those two wise guys plan on stealing this time. However I think that it involves magic."
The human Twilight Sparkle was about to go to into the school, but she saw the Joker and Penguin hanging out next to the portal. She said "Hi gentlemen. What are you two doing?"
The Penguin answered "We are mirror inspectors. If this mirror isn't good enough quality we'll need to get rid of it."
Twilight Sparkle said "I don't know if mirror inspectors exist and I'm positive that you two wouldn't have that kind of job."
The Joker asked "Don't we seem like two friendly and charming gentlemen?"
Twilight Sparkle said "I know who you two troublemakers are. You're those two people who bother Batman the most."
The Joker proudly said "We do have the honor of being Gotham's best criminals."
Twilight Sparkle asked "What are you trying to do?"
The Penguin said "Before we answer that question you must tell us what you know about magic."
Twilight Sparkle said "I know plenty about magic, but I'm not going to share that information with criminals."
The Joker stated "If you don't tell us the info we're going to kidnap you." The Joker and Penguin grabbed Twilight Sparkle.
The Penguin said "I'll hurt with my umbrella."
Twilight Sparkle replied "A umbrella doesn't seem that dangerous."
The Penguin proudly said "It's more dangerous than any other umbrella. It has special powers."
The Joker said "We heard that there's magic going on at this high school so we're going to steal it." He did a evil laugh.
Flash Sentry was walking by and saw that Twilight Sparkle was in trouble so he said "I'll stop those crooks." The Joker threw a small garbage can at Flash. Flash fell down and passed out.
The Joker said "There's no way you'll be safe unless you tell us about the magic."
Twilight Sparkle replied "A different kind of magic will save me: friendship."
The Penguin said "Friendship isn't magic." The Penguin's umbrella sprung out a rope that trapped Twilight Sparkle.
Fluttershy walked by and said "Oh no. Twilight's been captured by two freaky looking gentlemen." She nervously walked up to the criminals and nervously said "Excuse me. Could you please let my friend go?"
The Joker said "We need her to tell us about the magic."
The Penguin noticed that Fluttershy was scared so he knew that he could trick her easily. The Penguin said "All of this scary stuff will end after you tell me about the magic."
Fluttershy nervously said "I'm sorry sir, but I'm not supposed to tell strangers about it."
The Penguin replied "If you tell us we'll let your friend. We won't release her, until we get the information we want."
Fluttershy sighed and said "That isn't a real mirror. It's a portal that leads to a place that has magic."
The Penguin released Twilight Sparkle. After she was free the Joker threw her in the air for fun. Fluttershy got her before she got hurt.
Twilight Sparkle said "Fluttershy you let the criminals know about the portal. Now they can do evil stuff in Ponyville."
Fluttershy replied "I'm sorry, but I had to stop them from kidnapping you."
Rarity walked by and said "You two girls are in big trouble. You're so late for class. Principal Celestia might give you a detention this time."
Twilight Sparkle replied "We have more important things going on. Those two crooks want to steal all of the magic."
Rarity said "Oh my. Those two unstylish thieves are so dangerous."
Twilight Sparkle replied "Lets get the rest of our friends and stop them."
The Joker overheard their conversation and said "Those teenagers think they can stop our plan."
The Penguin replied "I admire their courage, but they're dumb for thinking they can stop us."
The Joker asked "How are we supposed to get into Ponyville?"
The Penguin said "I have a much better plan that going to Ponyville. I'm going to steal the entire place. My umbrella will suck up all of the magic in the portal." The Penguin turned on his umbrella's magic vacuum.
A few minutes later Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Sunset Shimmer, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie walked outside to battle the Joker and Penguin. Twilight Sparkle said "You two have ignored friendship's magic for decades. Now friendship will stop you from getting the portal's magic."
The Joker said "Yeah right you Batgirl wannabe. There's seven of you, but you're silly kids."
The Penguin stated "Joker and I have decades of experience at battling."
Pinkie Pie asked "Does that mean you're old?"
The Joker said "We were created in the 1940s, but we're young."
The Penguin said "I'll use my umbrella to beat them up." The Penguin started attacking the Equestria Girls with his umbrella.
Sunset Shimmer said "You two icky looking gentlemen can't gain anything from being evil. I used to be a villain."
The Joker asked "You gave up being a super villain for friendship?"
Sunset Shimmer said "Friendship is more useful and powerful than anything you've ever tried to steal."
The Joker said "Your magic power seems to be corny dialogue." The Joker did a evil laugh.
The Penguin kept trying to hurt Rainbow Dash, but he always missed. He asked "How can I defeat you?"
Rainbow Dash said "By being 20% cooler."
Applejack said "I think I know how to defeat the clown." She started throwing apples at the Joker.
Twilight Sparkle said "I don't think apples are that great of a weapon."
The Joker said "She's throwing too many apples at me at once." Applejack threw so many apples at the Joker that the Joker passed out.
The Penguin said "The Joker was a weakling, but my umbrella is too hard to stop." The Equestria Girls started trying to take the Penguin's umbrella. The Penguin kept using the umbrella to attack them.
Batman arrived and used his Bat-Rope to take the umbrella away. The Penguin tried to run away so Batman grabbed him and knocked him to the ground. The Penguin passed out.
Twilight Sparkle said "It's a honor to meet you Batman. You helped us."
Batman replied "You seven teenagers are really heroic. You have a pretty good super power that I've never had: friendship."
Rarity asked "Does that mean we can be heroes?"
Batman said "You're already the heroes of friendship. Thank you for helping me defeat these two fools."
The Joker said "We would of gotten away with it if it hadn't been for these meddling friendship lovers and Batman."
The Penguin replied "I should of teamed up with a more threatening criminal. I'll team up with the Riddler."
The Joker said "Well I'll team up with Kite Man."
Since Arkham Asylum was really far away Batman sent the Joker and Penguin to a prison that was in the same city as Canterlot High. The Joker and Penguin were cellmates with Trixie. The Penguin asked "Do you have magic?"
Trixie said "The great and powerful Trixie is the queen of magic."
The Joker replied "Then gives us magic."
Trixie said "The great and powerful Trixie refuses to give magic to you, until I get a year's supply of peanut butter crackers."