note: WHY DO I SHIP THEM SO HARD? щ(ﾟДﾟщ) This isn't as depressing as another fic I wrote, considering how the other fic is a darker alternative take on the series a-and yeah. Hello, shiny new fandom i know that he has, like, twenty million different translations for his names but i am more familiar/comfortable right now calling him gerard. i hope that is okay!
my heart pays the rent
by: pixie paramount (4/1/2010, 4:59 PM)
Fairy Tail, Erza/Gerard & the world is going to drown in blood
0.
They are young and dirty. The world consists of working and false hopes, and dreams that wither and die with bodies worn out from work.
He hands her a piece of bread, and for a moment their fingers brush. She is tiny then, small in the way a child should never be, and it still tugs at him. It is only a tiny sliver but it makes her smile when she had been once so content, so without hope.
He has dreams of freedom in their dark and dank prison. They never go a day without pangs of hunger or dirt stinging their broken skin. Her knees are raw, bloodied red, and her hands are calloused. He dreams each day, in secret, and when they are allowed to rest.
He dreams of fresh air that tickles his lungs. He dreams of his nakama, all happy and free. He dreams of seeing her running, of her laughing, of her dancing. Of her smile, her tears (that will always be happy), and of her.
1.
He sold his soul to a monster.
There were angry tears in his eyes.
Shame, anger and, more importantly, pride clouded any logic.
He was only human.
2.
The world will be in his hands. One day, perhaps soon or in the distant future, it will be his.
He laughs when he sees her. Or, rather, the monster laughs.
The monster wishes for the world. Wishes to grant his innermost desires. To eradicate his most basic fears.
He fears the darkness. He fears that loss of power, that helplessness, that claimed his youth.
But, deep inside, it wants to rid him of her because it knows. The monster knows because he let her live, long ago, and the monster won't let a mistake happen twice.
"I love you." He lies, so easily, and his smile is cruel. Deep inside, he may mean it, but the monster knows what will hurt. The monster knows, as she grows slack and her eyes grow glassy, that it hurts for her to hear.
3.
Her name is a curse on his tongue. Erza, most likely a girl, who he cannot remember but his heart clings to, his mind won't let her name leave him. A part of him knows, a part of him has buried the memories, but it knows.
She was important, once. She was important now and again, for different reasons, but deep down she was important. She had value to him. He may have even loved her.
He doesn't remember. He can't remember, except in fragments. He can remember her small smile and, most of all, her tears.
Her hair is red, like blood, and her smile is small. Though age has set in, a part of him sees her as that small slip of a girl with a damaged eye and...no hope. He does not know if this is the same girl, but he thinks of her fondly. He sees her and...maybe he does.
Her eyes are glassy with tears and he wishes he could remember, fully, and not in fragments. He wants to so badly. He wants his heart to stop breaking, looking at her, and remembering so little. He wants to make her smile, to make her laugh, without breaking her. He feels like he has done so, despite her armor and her strength, and that each time it has taken something from.
He wants to remember how to fix her, but he does not know how. (Or if he ever can.)