A/N: This is my first Hunger Games fanfic so please go easy on me. I'm also writing in present tense, which is not something I usually do. Hope you like it. ^^ This is for Maristela Freesia's 100 Theme Hunger Games challenge.
Disclaimer: Wow, this is new. I actually say in THIS disclaimer that I am not Suzanne Collins and anything you recognize in here is not mine.
Theme 12, Tears
Annie POV
"Finnick . . . well, he's dead," the man murmurs, rubbing his neck anxiously. He stares at me, waiting for me to crack. I don't know what to do. My body seems to go numb, adrenaline filling every place possible. My stomach is sinking and my knees feel weak. My heart stutters and I struggle to swallow.
"No," I said, surprised at how strong the word appeared. I refused to believe it. "No."
He isn't gone. He can't be gone. Finnick isn't supposed to die. He is supposed to stay by my side until we were old and watching our grandchildren run around the front yard. He promised he wouldn't leave me behind.
The man is shaking his head now. I feel dizzy. I need to sit down.
"Mrs. Odair, he's gone," the man states. What is his name? He did tell me, right? Why can't I remember? Why am I having trouble remembering everything? Why is my mind so foggy all of the sudden?
"No, he's not," I hiss to the man, glaring. Why is he doing this to me? Doesn't he know that I need my husband to live? "Stop. Lying. To. Me."
"Trust me, I wish I was," the man chuckles halfheartedly.
"This isn't funny." My voice is breaking now. I clench and open my hands repeatedly, trying to grasp onto anything that would keep me from losing it right here, right now. "Please. Stop. . . ."
I'm on my knees now, begging the man to tell me that everything was fine. Wanting Finnick to appear right behind him and take me in his arms. Why wouldn't he? Where is he?
Dead, gone forever . . . a voice whispers inside my head. No. He's alive and well, just trying to find me. I'll never make him leave my side again when I see him.
"He's not gone," I laugh and stand up. I couldn't explain what was going on. I was supposed to be sad, terrified, but no. I was laughing like a maniac. "I'll go show you where he is."
"Mrs. Odair!" The man is running after me now and I try to go and find my one love. "He's gone. You're not going to like what you'll see! Please come back here this instant!"
I continued running, running to find him. I didn't know where I was going, but it would be somewhere. Finnick would find me, just like he had when I was in the . . . Capitol.
The memories flood into my mind before I can stop them and I crumple to the ground, my hands over my ears and my eyes locked shut. So many screams of terror. Peeta, Johanna, the Avoxes. . . . I squeeze my head so hard it hurts, trying to take the screams away. But no, they were there. Haunting me, showing me just what happens to people who think they're champions. Safe victors, never having to face anything else horrifying. It's just the opposite.
My hands are torn away from my ears and I start to scream. The screams are louder now. Someone is holding me. But it's not Finnick. Not my gentle, loving Finnick. I thrash, trying to get away from them. They are going to kill me, I know it. And it won't be a short death.
"Mrs. Odair," the man's voice calls out, breaking through the screams. "Annie! It's fine. Just open your eyes and we'll explain everything."
"No!" I scream and kick and flail as much as I can. I have to run, to get out of here as fast as I can. But the man's arms are strong. Too strong.
The screams slowly evaporate. Finnick has been there to take them away quickly, and I have gotten used to that. It's agony as I wait for them to leave, hoping they never come back. I know they will though. They always do. But Finnick saves me from them.
I open my eyes and look up at the man, who is flustered.
"He's . . . gone, isn't he?" My voice is a hoarse whisper now. All the giddiness I had felt before seemed to have rid my body of its infectious happiness. Now my mind has finally caught up with me. Finnick was . . . dead.
The man's nod makes everything real to me. I blink once, twice. My mouth opens as if to say something, but closes again. I do this three more times. Then an ear-piercing scream erupts from my mouth and I get up, running. I run and run and run until I can't anymore, collapsing in front of my very own house.
My sobs are so violent that I can barely crawl up the stairs and open the door. Inside, I curl up into a ball on the hard wood floor. Tears pour relentlessly from my eyes, and when I think I'm done crying, they spill more over.
There's a gap in my chest, right where my heart used to be. It died right when Finnick did. His name brings more tears to crash to the floor. I'm surprised that I'm not lying in a large pool of tears, considering how many I've shed for my lost husband.
My stomach growls when I've settled down. Right. I'm pregnant. Those two words, that once had me jumping up and down and giggling as Finnick swirled me around in his arms now sent a dull ache through my body. How am I going to be a mother now?
When Finnick was here, he would comfort me and say that we would always be together in this. I was worried about my panic attacks and how that could scare our baby. But as long as Finnick was there to hold me together, I'd be fine. Not anymore. He is gone. Never coming back. And I am as broken as one could ever be. How could my baby survive without being as traumatized as I?
I need to get rid of it. The child could look exactly like Finnick for all I know. How would I be able to look at the baby then without having an emotional breakdown?
No. Finnick would want me to keep the baby. After all, he was the happiest he had been when I told him the news. And . . . and it will be the only living remembrance of the most wonderful man in the country. I will do anything to keep this baby, and I'll forever protect my little Finnick.
Time moves on, even when on thinks it would forever be frozen. It's only been two days since Finnick passed, and I still yearn for his warmth next to me in my bed. I still feel down all the time. It takes a lot to get me to smile. The horrors haunt me a lot more frequently. I've even been having so-called "memories" where Finnick dies all the deaths and murders I have witnessed. It's a terrible, frightening, morbid place in my head right now, but I'm only living on because I know Finnick would wish for me to do so.
Sometimes I have happy dreams. Dreams about him and I, getting to spend a few more minutes together before he has to go back to wherever he went off to. I wake up with tears covering my face, but they're tears of happiness now. I'm grateful I got to spend a good bunch of years with him. How my last memory of him is when he smiled and laughed with me, pulling my shirt up so he could kiss my tummy, where our baby rested.
I can occasionally feel his soul around me, it seems. Just watching out for me and staying near for guidance and comfort. I even hear his voice whispering in my ear when the memories fog up my vision and haunt me.
"I'm right here, sweet, sweet Annie," his voice sounds. "I always will be. Forever."
Smiling, I head out the door and, for the first time in quite a while, I walk down the street in confidence.
A/N: Not sure what I feel about this... Yeah, Annie and Finnick might be my favorite pairing out of the entire series, though Peeta is definitely my ultimate favorite character. Like I said before, this is my first fic for this fandom. No flames. ^^ But I wouldn't mind a nice lil' review. ;)