Title: By Your Side
Author: Master_Jaina1011
Characters: James T. Kirk, Leonard McCoy aka Bones
Summary: In response to the MMM challenge: Everyone loses someone they love, it's a fact of life and of loving. Write a vignette exploring the impact of the loss of a loved one on a character. Remember, you do not have to participate in the challenge in order to participate in MMM. General mush fics are always accepted as a part of MMM. Bones loses someone close to him and has to make a decision based on the loss. Deep friendship between Kirk and Bones

Leonard McCoy was used to death being around him. He was a doctor after all, but as he stared at the tombstone before him, he couldn't comprehend it. It was a beautiful Georgia day, sun beaming down on his neck as he rubbed it unconsciously. His ex-wife may have been bitter toward him, but she was still a woman he loved and the mother of his child. McCoy just didn't think her death would hit him this hard.

The smell of peaches filled the air as footsteps sounded behind him. "You doing ok Bones?" Jim asked, as he moved to stand beside him. He noticed the collar was undone on his dress uniform, but yet had the dignified air about him.

"You want the truth kid?" he asked, as his friend just stood there silently beside him. "I'm not."

The doctor had received the transmission a week before from his mother on the Enterprise as they were ending negotiations with a new Federation planet. All he remembered from the next few moments were the words, "I'm sorry to tell you this Len, but…Jocelyn was fatally injured last night. Son, she's gone."

He was in a daze after those words, as he thought about his daughter, whom he hadn't seen in over six months. Who, now, was without the only parent she really had known. Jim, being the friend and captain he was, had finagled a month shore leave on Earth, where McCoy could figure out everything out as his friends attended the funeral with him. Jim's exact words on how he had managed that long of a time was "You're my CMO, Bones and without my CMO, this ship can't run efficiently. We are going with you."

Jim and Spock, surprisingly hadn't leave his side for the past week, as their significant others keep Joanna entertained and her mind off the upcoming events. McCoy had a decision to make about his daughter and as he stared at the tombstone, he still didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry, Bones." Jim said, softly as he squeezed his shoulder gently. "I wish I could do more."

"You already have, Jim." He replied, turning away from the woman who had terrorized him until he joined Starfleet. "She may have been my wife, but she was also the bane of my existence. Joce was part of the reason I joined StarFleet."

His best friend smiled softly back as they started walking back toward the others, where Spock was kneeling before his daughter, talking to her. McCoy didn't even use words to express the sentiment held within his heart.

"Have you made a decision about Joanna?" Jim asked suddenly as McCoy just stopped as he stared at the smile on his daughter's face as she talked to Spock.

"What do you think he's talking to her about?" he asked softly, trying to avoid of the question Jim asked.

"He lost his mother too." Jim said softly, as Bones noticed Nyota and Audrey standing back as the half-Vulcan continued to interact the eight year old. "From what I have heard over the past few days, he's telling her stories about his mother."

"I didn't think that…"

"Spock talked about his mother? Sometimes even Vulcans have to show their emotions." Jim said patting his back. "You know it helps to talk about it, death that is. I think that was what was wrong with my mother. She just shut down after my dad died."

"Are you, James Tiberius Kirk, trying to get me to talk about my feelings?"

"Well it would do you good once in a while." Jim retorted as Bones rolled his eyes. "Look at me, captain of starship in the Federation, with a magnificent crew and a beautiful woman by my side. But what counts, Bones, is that you're here with me. Up there, smacking me upside the head when I do something stupid, sitting there with me when I lose an ensign or pushing me in the direction of Audrey."

"Are you trying to sway my decision, Jim?"

Jim sighed. "What I am trying to say Bones, is that you have been my family for the past five years. Yes, everyone else came after but you've been the constant person I have ever had in my life. So don't fault me when I want to be selfish when I can't."

"Jim…" His friend ran a hand through his blond hair and sighed.

"Look," he started as he started walking away. "I'm just going to go over there with Audrey. Just let me know what you decide."

McCoy just stood there as he walked away, rooted to his spot where the rest of the command crew surrounded his now motherless child. Joanna may have looked like Jocelyn but according to his late wife, her personality was all his. She giggled when Jim lifted his daughter up in his arms, swinging her around.

Joanna would always remember her mother but as he watched her with his friends, he knew that needed to know him now, even if his place was in the Enterprise exploring new worlds with Jim.

"Jim, wait!" McCoy said, walking faster toward the familiar scene. His daughter noticed him and ran toward him as he lifted her arms, kissing her forehead. "Hey pumpkin, were you enjoying time with Spock?"

"I was, Daddy. He was telling me all about his mom, and your ship, she exclaimed as Jim started to walk away more. "Daddy, are we going to live on your ship, in the stars?"

"Would you like that, sweetheart?" He asked as Jim faltered in his step as the others just stood back.

"I would, Daddy because I would be with you." She replied as McCoy just smiled. Even in death, his daughter was still the light of his life.

"Well then I guess it's decided then, Jo bear," he whispered as they walked toward the other smiling faces that surrounded him. "We are going to explore the stars together."

When they reached everyone, Joanna wiggled down and bounded to the women who were talking as McCoy just stood next to Jim, whose expression was guarded.

"What did she say to cause that smile?" he asked as McCoy just shook his head.

"Don't pander me, kid. All I know is I can't let you go back up there without me, only because you wouldn't live another away mission without me there to patch you up."

"Dr M'Benga is also a great doctor, Bones."

"Great, my ass. He almost killed you!" McCoy retorted as Jim rolled his eyes.

"That was once, Bones. Are you gonna hold it against him forever?"

"When it concerns you, Jim, yes I will." His friend's real smile appeared at that moment as everything clicked in his mind.

"So you're staying, with Joanna on board?" Bones rolled his eyes as he slung an arm around his shoulder.

"Unlike her daddy, she wants to see the stars. And I personally couldn't refuse a captain of your caliber." Bones said as they strolled together.

"Oh come on Bones would it kill you to admit that you couldn't bear the thought of losing me?" McCoy smiled and shook his head.

"Yes it would, because without me you would have been long gone…"

"I'm glad you're staying, Bones, I really am." Jim said, bumping his friend lightly.

"Well, I can't let you have all the fun now could I?" He replied as Jim just laughed. "And for the record kid, I'm glad too. Don't know what I would do without you."

Blue eyes softened as he said that, knowing full well the death of his ex-wife caused him to rethink a lot of things. "Is that why you snuck me on board that shuttle that day? Because you can't live without me?"

"Keep dreaming, kid, keep dreaming."