Title:In a Sea of Sorrow
Author:Master_Jaina1011
Characters: The Enterprise crew, including my OC Audrey Pearce
Summary: Healing takes time, even while sharing the tears together
Drops that gather one by one finally become a sea.
Persian proverb
It was a sunny spring day in San Francisco, James T. Kirk noticed as he looked out the window of the shuttle that was transporting him and his crew down to the Academy for the unveiling of the memorial for the Narada incident. The silence on the shuttle was palpable as everyone reflected on the people that were lost this very day three years ago.
Jim sighed heavily as a weak hand patted him on the leg lovingly, as his blue eyes met his wife's, whose face was drawn in a line of sadness. He reached over to squeeze her hand, as he kept a close eye on his Chief Medical Officer who still looked like he was going to throw up.
"Why do you make me ride these death traps again, Jim?" Bones asked, as Christine Chapel leaned forward and rubbed McCoy's back. He just didn't have to energy or the willpower to deal with the cranky doctor as he laid his eyes upon Spock and Nyota, who were huddled in the back. Jim met Spock's turbulent eyes, who ever after three years, still grieved for his mother.
Every year, some new memorial popped up and this year it was at the Academy. The memorial where Vulcan used to be was still there but the Federation wanted something else, like the Kelvin memorial on Earth. So here they were, landing on Academy grounds so everyone could fawn all over the heroes of Starfleet, yet every single one of them despised it.
They weren't heroes, they were survivors.
"Jim, we have landed." Audrey whispered as he just leaned against the window more. Sometimes being a hero sucked.
McCoy sat in the middle of the quad, leaning against a shady tree when he saw Audrey and Jim watching beside each other. The speeches for the memorial had ended, and tears had been shed, yet he couldn't help but feel guilty. He went through this routine for every memorial they went to, spoke at, unveiled.
He looked down at the bottle of bourbon as his two best friends noticed him sitting and walked toward him. They looked as he felt as they both plopped down beside him, motioning for him to share the wealth of alcohol.
Audrey took a swig and passed it on to Jim as Leo just sighed. "Why do we feel like this, every time?" he asked, wearily as Jim handed him the bottle. They all knew that they shouldn't feel like this, but in the end, survivor's guilt still got to them after all these years.
"I was across the galaxy, trying to save my mother." Audrey said, laying her head in Jim's lap, closing her eyes.
"While we were right in the middle of it, and yet we still couldn't save them. Why were we spared and they weren't?" Jim mumbles as Scotty, Sulu and Chekov rounded the corner noticing them.
"Sometimes we cannot comprehend why things happen." Spock spoke from behind him, Nyota on his arm. "I often wonder how our lives would be different if Nero would have never entered our timeline."
"Trust me, Spock; you are not the only one." Audrey said, from her spot on Jim's lap, who had started caressing her hair.
"Captain," Jim gave him a pointed look. "Jim, Admiral Pike requests our presence at Tutoli's in an hour."
"That's nice." Bones muttered as the entire crew sat under the tree, the memorial for Vulcan, their fallen comrades, even Jim's father stood in the distance.
Scotty unearthed another bottle of ale, as Sulu passed out the glasses. They were each poured one drink, even Spock as they stared in the distance.
It was Jim who spoke up first. "We all grieve. We all lost somebody but you know the more I think about it, the more I realize more people would have been lost if we hadn't survived. The reason we survived is because it was meant to be."
Jim raised his glass as the other did so too. "To my father, who sacrificed his life so that I may live."
"To our friends, who died doing what they loved to do." Sulu said.
"To Gaila, who touched everyone around her."
"To my mother." Spock said quietly as everyone looked at Audrey, whose tears spilled down her cheeks.
"To Greg, who died waiting for me." She whispered, as tears spilled down McCoy and Jim's cheeks. "Who gave me a chance at happiness and love; this is to those who died so that we may live."
In a sea of sorrow, healing began that day. Death had been dealt so that these certain people may live and so they did. Their tears dried, the sea gone and the only thing left was to live more, with no regrets.
That was what life is about. Moving on, healing and lastly loving with all you have.