Crack fic: In where Rafiki conspires with Timon and Pumbaa to turn the lions into insectivores(insect-eaters) and frugivores(fruit-eaters). This idea was thought up and done in about an hour, it's purely randomness. By the way, did any of you know that mandrills don't have tails? I'm asking you this because Rafiki has the appearance of a mandril, yet he has a tail of a baboon, and I will be mentioning that in this story.
I own nothing. The Lion King and all its content belongs to Disney. I don't own the cover image either.
Enjoy the story!
Night had descended upon the Pridelands, and Rafiki grinned as he walked into his home. The gourds on his staff clunked against one another. Early that night, he had sent the new couple of the Pridelands, Kovu and Kiara, into Upendi. It was a wonderful feeling, and all it took was the cooperation of all the herbivores in the Pridelands, lots of heart shaped plants, and passion fruits.
"Ah, de passion fruits," he thought to himself. While getting the two lovebirds together was just an added favor, this night had been part of a way more elaborate scheme.
His thoughts were interrupted when the sound of hooves approaching came into the hollow. His head turned and he gave a toothy grin at the red warthog approaching with a tan meerkat head on his back. The meerkat hopped off his head and came up to the baboon/mandril. He had a serious look on his face.
"Did you do it," he asked. Rafiki smirked and nodded.
"Yes. They did not expect a thing," he replied. The meerkat grinned.
"Excellent." He turned back to the warthog. "You hear that Pumbaa? Our plan is going to motion and they don't expect a thing." The warthog smiled widely.
"That's great Timon! But uh... why are we doing this again," he asked. Timon facepalmed before giving a small disbelieving look at him.
"Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa. Must I have to re-explain it every time," he asked. Pumbaa's expression gew confusedly and he nodded in response. Timon sighed and moved over to a stone in Rafiki's decorated hollow before getting up onto it.
"We are assembled together to form H.U.N.C.H, Herbivores Undetected Nulling Carnivore Habits. We're here to stop the carnivores, mainly lions, to stop eating meat and find another source of food diet," Timon said.
"But didn't the lions promise they wouldn't eat us? Why would we need them to move to a different food group," Pumbaa asked. Timon's eyes narrowed.
"Because we're all herbivores or insectivores, Pumbaa. It is the diet of the Circle of Life. We take in what the land has given us, not taking away the acceptors of the gift like the carnivores. By switching the lion's diets to fruits and bugs, we put everything into balance as it should be, and with the first to submit to the new food group, the others shall follow."
He pointed to a picture behind him on the wall, depicting a scene of a group of ferocious-looking lions and lionesses hunting a herd of zebra. Timon suddenly slapped his hand against the bark and when he removed it, a grub was stuck onto the wall, taking the place of the zebra right before it was caught by an angry, scary lioness. Timon smiled and turned back to his friends.
"It is the dawn of a new era, my friends. The dawn of the non-meat eaters!"
This was my first crack fic and I hope you all enjoyed it. The idea was pure weirdness and I had it when I considered how Timon and Pumbaa made Simba eat bugs growing up and then Rafiki gave Kovu and Kiara passion fruits in Upendi. It was just a weird thing to do, just for fun.
Anyways, thanks for reading, please leave a review, they're appreciated and I'll see you next time. Sincerely, v.t.7