A/N: Hello there! So, after having a 10 year hiatus from writing any sort of FanFiction, the release of The Last Jedi drew me back into this crazy world. Admittedly, I've never written any sort of FF because the Star Wars fandom always seemed so large and intimidating, but eh, what the heck! Why not start now while we have two grueling years of waiting for IX?
This will be a two chapters story. Short, sweet, and just dipping my toe into the large fandom pond.
Enjoy! And as always, feedback is appreciated.
XOX Rose
Counterpoise: [noun] : any equal and opposing power or force;
Balance.
"We have everything we need."
Despite the general's sincere words, Rey's heart ached. Her eyes scanned the remaining members of the Resistance that currently occupied the Falcon's main hold, recognizing a number of the faces from her short time spent on D'Qar. Murmurs of conversation. A hollow chuckle here and there. Smiles that did not quite meet their eyes. For those fighters she remembered but did not see, she assumed the worst. Rey's stomach churned.
There was at one time an entire fleet of them. Before today, they would not have all been able to stand in this room. Rey winced at the memory of transports being plucked from the sky, one by one, as she helplessly watched from Snoke's throne room. She should have done more. Her jaw locked at the memory but she refused to let the tears fall. Not this time. He was right: she was nothing. How foolish she was to think that she, a simple scavenger, could save the Resistance? Her regret and frustration surged through her body, pulsing through her muscles as sweet, intoxicating adrenaline.
Rey unconsciously tightened her grip on the two broken halves of her lightsaber in each of her hands. She could not even keep her saber intact. What good was she to the cause now?
"My friends." A commanding voice cut through Rey's disparaging internal dialogue. Side conversations halted as the remaining Resistance fighters turned towards the source. There was no mistaking their reverence as the group brought their full attention to General Leia Organa while she took her place at the center of the main hold, steadying herself on the Dejarik chess table. She took a moment to glance around the room to offer a comforting smile to those brave souls who stood before her.
The remaining.
"Words cannot even begin to commend the bravery you have all shown in these past days. And although all hope may seem lost, we must not lose sight. Our friends that have died today –" A sniffle escaped from the back of the room. "-they will not die in vain."
"Do not underestimate the power of hope and the speed of which it travels - faster than any hyperspeed imaginable. I can guarantee that in due time, the galaxy will know of our efforts and the brave we have lost." Leia paused, resting her eyes on Rey. "They will learn that Luke Skywalker, legendary Jedi Knight, thought to be lost forever in legends and myths, appeared at our darkest hour." Rey could feel those standing in the room studying her now but her eyes never broke Leia's gaze. Their expectations, reliance, and hope weighed heavily on her narrow shoulders. "They will know that the Jedi live."
Leia raised her chin, returning her attention to the entire room. "This is the spark we need to continue fighting. The First Order may have won the battle today, but they will not win the war." Leia closed her hands in front of her, her Alderaanian ring of blue stones and gold catching the Falcon's overheard light. Rey found herself imagining a young princess, thrust into the war efforts of the Rebellion, losing her home but never losing her resolve and strength. Many of her adventures took place on this very ship, if the stories were all true.
"Our next steps will be carefully calculated as they have always been. We will come back stronger then ever." Leia gestured for Commander D'Acy to join her at the center of the room. "After some discussion, D'Acy and I have decided it's best that we set our coordinates to Naboo in order for us to refuel and regroup. It will be a short trip, but necessary if we want to push on."
Before the General could complete her sentence, the room buzzed with anxious, quiet whispers. Naboo? Is that what she said? Couldn't be. Rey was confused by the sudden shift from an almost reverent silence to panic that had swept through. What was the significance of this planet?
"With all due respect, General Organa" A booming voice hushed the panicked murmuring. Rey saw that the Resistance fighter she just had the pleasure of becoming acquainted with, Poe Dameron, had joined these two women on the floor. Although she herself was unfamiliar with this dashing pilot, it did not take much for her to read the room that no one was surprised by his interruption. Whether or not his input was welcomed was a bit harder to decipher when comparing Leia's amused smile to Commander D'Acy's tight lipped one.
"Naboo, though near the Outer Rim Territories, is within the Mid-Rim." Poe continued with authority. "We know that the First Order has grown in presence among these planets, especially those with beneficial resources. It would seem unwise, almost dangerous, for us to visit one of these planets – especially one that has been known to be a rallying place for Republic traitors and Imperial sympathizers. With our current lack of soldiers and supplies, we cannot afford to go into the belly of the beast."
The room's dissent grew louder in agreement of Poe's concerns. Commander D'Acy opened her mouth to argue but was stopped by the raise of Leia's hand. "Commander Dameron, although I appreciate and welcome your input, I will ask that you trust me on this one." She tilted her head towards him, her eyes challenging but not unkind. "Our cause will not gain support if we hide in the shadows. Are you hoping to recruit hoards of scoundrels and smugglers in the Outer Rim that are sympathetic to our cause? Those who have garnered power and influence in the wake of the First Order?"
Poe was silent. "Naboo, yes, home of the old Emperor has been known for it's troubling identity at times, but it is also home to a resilient people. A strong people. People have not forgotten what it is like to be suffocated by a corrupt power. A people who have lost one of their own recently." Leia paused, her expression fading into one of mourning. "Their great senator, Thadle Berenko was lost in the destruction of the Galactic Senate. I have a feeling we will soon find more friends than foes on Naboo in the wake of her senseless death."
There were no more whispers now. Poe Dameron provided sheepish nod and responded quietly, "Understood, General" before sitting back down.
General Organa clasped her hands together, her head turned downwards. The decision was final. Commander D'Acy cleared her throat.
"Prepare for hyperspeed."
In the short period time since she had left Jakku, Rey had encountered planets she would have never been able to conceive in her wildest imaginations. It all still felt like a dream. Now, she found herself pressing her face up to the glass window of Falcon, her eyes hungry for the rolling, rich green plains and swampy lakes that covered the quickly approaching planet. Rey swore she was witnessing colors that she never even knew existed. She had heard stories from proud pilots who hung around Niima Outpost, stinking of cheap liquors and who loved to overcompensate, bragging of their ventures to planets such as these but Rey had paid them no mind. In fact, she hardly believed them. Nothing this beautiful could exist – not when your only reality for years was an endless, barren wasteland of Jakku.
Rey abruptly became self-aware of her ogling and shifted her attention to her peers beside her. To her relief, they were equally in awe of the landscapes passing below them and took no notice of her gaping mouth. Leia, who stood behind them, smiled.
The Millennium Falcon swooped across a crystal clear lake that reflected the blue sky above. As the dusk mist cleared, Rey and the fellow Resistance watched as green cliffs came into view, revealing a large home of rose marble and vine covered stucco between the mountain's base and lake's edge.
Rey sucked in her breath.
They had arrived.
In little time, Rey had packed her things into her tattered duffel and shuffled off the Falcon along with the remaining Resistance. The mood amongst them had altered significantly as she listened to the chatter surrounding her. The sun and fine weather had already raised their spirits, or, at least let them forget if not for an afternoon. Though she wanted to join in light conversation and visit a brief moment of blissful ignorance, Rey could not relax her thoughts. Too much was weighing heavily on her mind.
Where was he now? This was their next move, but what would be his?
"Let me know if she needs anything!" Rey called out overhead at Chewie as she walked from underneath the Falcon and down the loading ramp. He growled in acknowledgement and, in his own way, insisted for her not to worry. After flying them safely to Naboo he was already on top of the ship making necessary repairs to the top hull from their most recent run in with the First Order. One of their new passengers from Ach-To curiously nibbled on a wire Chewie had exposed before giving a surprised screech.
Before she could become all too concerned by the seemingly dense creature's well being, Rey's attention was shifted to the pair of Resistance medical personnel who rushed past her. One was pushing the Falcon's creaky reserve gurney while the other held an IV bag of fluid overhead. From where she stood, Rey could see the sleeping patient's two unmistakable tufts of black hair sticking out on either side of the gurney
"She'll be okay." Finn has appeared at Rey's side, joining her in watching Rose being transported to the entrance of the lakeside home. "She may not seem like it at first, but she's a tough one."
Without saying anything Rey pulled him into a tight hug. It caught Finn off guard but only took him a moment to return it. "Finn" Rey said, without letting go of her dear friend. "I'm so glad you're still here. With the Resistance." Rey thought back to his doubts he shared with her on Takodana in Maz Kanata's castle. "After everything that has happened."
"Yeah, well" Finn began, pulling away with a cheeky smile. "Maybe I suddenly just became enlightened. The Force must have just, you know, come over me."
Rey returned his teasing with a grin. She could not recall the last time she had given one that was as genuine. Her muscles found the expression unfamiliar.
"I'm glad you're here."
"Me too." Finn responded, sincerely. "I don't know…" His voice became distant. "Maybe you all were onto something. I'm sorry it took me longer to realize."
As his thoughts drifted into silence, Finn's eyes moved towards the path Rose's gurney took. Rey patted him gently on the back as if to grant permission. "Go check on her." Finn nodded and hastily made his way to the entrance of the home.
Rey softly smiled at his retreating back that still donned a worn leather Rebel jacket, which she was convinced had obtained a few more scratches and singe marks since they had last met. She was sure she would hear the entire story, in full painstaking detail. Not a moment of the adventure would be omitted—Finn would make sure of that. Her smile faded as her eyebrows drew together into a thoughtful look. Finn was probably one of the few who could empathize with how much, and how rapidly, everything had changed since their fateful meeting. They had lived years in separate realities that didn't call for any consideration of the future. For Finn, his future was all mapped out along with thousands who were also considered dispensable. He would live and die for the sake of the treacherous First Order's bidding. For Rey, it was a series of days of just waiting and going to bed hopefully less hungry than the night before. For both her and Finn, life was just about surviving.
The Niima Outpost on Jakku hardly seemed like a platform for such a significant intertwining of fates that Rey often wondered how close she had been to missing it. She reflected back to the elderly human ladies who once sat alongside her as the hot sun would set each day, buffing their scavenged parts with their leathered, wrinkled hands. She had never looked at them for too long, in fear that it would cement her own fate.
It was all too easy to imagine what would have happened if she had not heard BB-8's urgent pleas for help and the droid had ultimately fallen into the hands of the First Order. She felt selfish to find the thought of BB-8 being successfully reunited with the Resistance without her or Finn's help just as unsettling. However, Rey did not dwell on this speculation for too long. If anything, the unfolding of events over the past few days had proved to her that nothing was being relied on by coincidence or chance. The Force had too much of a hand in all of this, long before she had untangled BB-8 from the net of the greedy Teedo.
All in all, it had been quite the week.
"Rey" Rey turned to see the Leia Organa disembarking the Falcon. Her elegant earth brown garb made her appear to float down the ramp. The only detail that broke this illusion, Rey noticed, was the general's tight grip on the walking stick at her side. "If you wouldn't mind helping an old woman out. It's been a long day."
In a moment Rey was by the Leia's side, her arm lightly wrapped around her back. She guided the general down the ramp and across the intricate brickwork that was laid out between where they had landed and the entrance to the lakeside home. With the exception of Chewie working on top of the Falcon, everyone was already inside. All that was left to hear was the soft breeze through the trees and the occasional muttered cuss-growl carried over from the Falcon that would make a Kashyyyk mother blush.
From this close proximity, Rey could see the hard creases that accented Leia's eyes and the wispy silver hair that had escaped her Alderaanian mourning braid, a detail a fellow Resistance fighter had brought Rey's attention to earlier in the day. This woman was legendary. Her entire life has been dedicated to shielding the galaxy from the persistent darkness without falling into darkness herself. Within a week she had lost her husband, her brother for the second time, and now, seemingly forever, her only son. All of this while the fate of democracy weighed heavily on her shoulders. Rey felt a lump form in the back of her throat. This was her first time alone with the general and they had so much to talk about: Luke's lessons, Snoke's demise by her son's hand, and her growing, complicated bond with him. However, Rey remained silent. She wasn't sure how much more this woman could take in one day. All of a sudden, warmth spread over her body, enveloping her and soothed her anxiety. There will be another time.
They continued to walk quietly together. Rey soaked in the welcomed sunshine of the golden hour as she gazed up to get a closer view of their arrangement this evening. The home was large and impossible to examine entirely from the angle in which they were standing. Rey had a hard time discerning how many floors the residency contained as it seemed to have been built along the surface of the cliff side, gradually getting lower to meet the lake's surface. The central core had two rotundas of rose marble towering overhead serving as the highest points of the home, each topped with a copper roof that had aged favorably into a soft green over time. If that were not grandeur enough, the rotundas were surrounded by additional stucco sections of the house painted a brilliant yellow with sun kissed red tiled roofs and quaint black shutters. Green vines snaked themselves around the outside walls as if to claim the home as part of their nature.
"This place is beautiful." It was all that Rey could say.
"It is." They stopped walking and Leia joined Rey in looking upwards at the lofty architecture above them "It served as a meeting place of many prominent members of the early Rebellion when it was owned by the state. It once belonged to my grandparents. Been in the family for years, long before the rise of the Empire. Seeing as my brother and I had a-" Leia paused, as if to find the right word. "- unique situation, it was not passed down to us as in previous generations."
Rey uneasily glanced at Leia, unsure how to respond. Sensing Rey's quiet, Leia broke her gaze from the house and boldly held Rey's eyes. "Oh. You're a smart girl. By now you know who my father was." Leia brought her attention forward and they continued to make their way towards the magnificent door formed of wood, intricate iron handiwork, and glass. Rey pushed the front door and was surprised by how easily it swayed open and beckoned them inside. From the rich wood and ivory hued foyer, she could hear the distant laughter and chatter of the rest of their party from other parts of the house, their sounds bouncing against what Rey could only assume to be additional carved marble hallways more intricate than the next.
The hallway they had entered from the foyer seemed endless. To their side were wide-open windows overlooking the exact lake the Millennium Falcon swooped above before landing. Leia and Rey took a moment to admire the setting Naboo sun as the blue sky began its transformation to tinges of orange and pink, the water below reflecting the light in its soft waves. Rey was in awe. Sunsets never looked like quite like this on Jakku.
Leia was the first to break the silence. "For all intents and purposes, Bail Organa was my father. He raised me, instilled in me my values and shared with me his passion for serving people." Her voice grew soft, barely audible over the breeze that brushed across the water outside. "I miss him so."
"And your mother?" Rey heard herself ask abruptly. She felt her face go deep red, embarrassed by her sudden impulsiveness. Clearly she was projecting her own longing into the conversation now.
If Leia was put off by the question, she made no show of it. "Shortly after my father's identity was revealed to me, I was curious about my biological mother. Who was she and what was her story?" As if sensing Rey's insecurities she assured "It's only natural to be curious."
Leia gestured to Rey to follow and she obliged, her curiosity peaking as they continued on. The warm beams from the sunset outside streaked against the ivory walls, filling the space with a warm glow. They stopped in front of a portrait of a young woman, not much older than Rey. The painting was magnificent. She stood tall, shoulders rolled back and confident. Her gold dress had a high collar of deep purple and beading that came up to underneath her petite chin. Over the dress she wore a grandiose velvet shroud of the same purple. Her glossy brown hair was fashioned into an elaborate headdress that circled the back of her head as if meant to form a halo. The presentation was completed with a delicate gold and jeweled headpiece that rested across her forehead. Despite her glittering appearance meant to convey her power and influence, Rey's own eyes were instantaneously drawn to that of the young woman's. They were warm and familiar.
"Padme Amidala Naberrie. Elected Queen of Naboo at the mere age of fourteen and then lived a life of continued public service as a prominent voice for peace during the Clone Wars while a member of the Galactic Senate. " Leia recited. "By the end of the war, she witnessed the slow collapse of the Republic she had dedicated her very life to. The void left by the war had allowed fear and chaos to reside where there was once diplomacy. However, despite her and other remarkable senators' valiant efforts, the Republic decayed into what we know now remember to be the Galactic Empire. "
"But," Rey shook her head. "How would the Senate allow that to happen?" She meant not to question experienced politicians senses. Force knows her grasp on politics began and ended with Unkar Plutt's shady dealings at the outpost. She only wished to understand how such a blatant dark power could rise under the galaxy's nose.
"I've seen a number of conflicts in my time, but this truth has remained constant." Leia held a single finger up from her walking stick. "To the frightened, freedom seems to be a small price to pay for protection and order."
Leia sighed and turned her face away from the painting as though it had suddenly given her great pain. "Despite my mother's service to the people of this galaxy until her dying breath, the discovery of my father's identity has haunted me. At times even, made me doubt my own worth. When the Republic found out during my time as a senator well after the fall of the Empire, let's just say my intentions were challenged as well."
Rey was astounded. She could never fathom being in a room of people who lacked trust and respect for the woman who stood before her, who had given everything for this.
"My father, a powerful Sith lord who arguably caused the galaxy the most pain and destruction in our recorded history may cause some to question whether or not I would be prone to fall to darkness. As a woman approaching my middle ages, I came to an important realization about myself. We are not defined by our lineage and our paths are not set by those who come before us." This was all beginning to cut a little close to Rey. She tugged at the hem of her waist band uncomfortably, the empty space where her saber should be. "Our circumstances are not what shape us, but the decisions that we make each day in response determine our outcome."
The weary general allowed herself to glance up one more time at the portrait of her mother. "Luke promised me that he turned to the Light at very end of his life, moments before he perished." At Master Skywalker's name, Rey snapped her attention to Leia's face. Tears were beginning to brim at the corners of her eyes. Rey had never seen her so raw. "He was so insistent: 'Leia' he would say. 'There was still good in him, I promise.'" Her voice shook. "I would not accept it. Not after all that had happened. Not when his legacy still casts a shadow. He took so much away from me, and even in death, he takes too much…"
Unsure of how to proceed, Rey gently offered her hand to comfort Leia Organa. The general grasped it and chuckled in spite of herself. "Poor girl, having to listen to this old woman prattle on. This home is just so full of memories that it all just comes flooding back, I guess. You must be exhausted, when was the last time you slept? There are a number of guest rooms you could use before supper tonight-"
"Oh, please don't!" Rey interrupted hurriedly. "I'll be fine on the Falcon-"
"Nonsense!" Leia waved the suggestion away with her hand. "This home has gone too long without hosting anyone! There's plenty of room for all of us, no reason for you to subject yourself to that creaky excuse for a bed on the Falcon – I would know. Please, follow me this way."
Rey found little point in objecting the General any further and followed. It was as though Leia had gained renewed sense of energy at the prospect of sharing this home with others.
They walked until they stood in front of what appeared to be a rather simple wooden door that sported a delicate gold handle. As Leia pushed the door open to reveal the inside, Rey involuntarily gasped.
The wide open spaced formed of ivory hued marble spread out before them. The tiled room was warmed by the presence of soft teal curtains with gold detailing that hung in front of the windows, standing nearly as tall as the ceilings. The bed, with its headboard pushed up against the wall to their left, was about as big as Rey's living space back home on Jakku. She had never seen such an assortment of rich fabrics and textures as she found from the decorative pillows that were placed on top of lavish quilt spread across the immense mattress.
It was gorgeous, truly, but it's extravagance caused Rey to feel slight unease. This was not at all what she was used to.
"I hope you don't mind the windows being open." Leia interrupted Rey's gawking. She shook her head, unable to formulate words at the moment. Leia dug through a large leather bound chest sitting at the foot of the bed with purpose. "One of my favorite parts of staying in the country side. So isolated, no cities, and it was always my favorite to hear the waves before I fell asleep."
"No, no, it's perfect" Rey discovered her voice. "In fact, it's all too much."
Leia found what she was looking for. She pulled out a long white night gown that looked, Rey observed, soft as a cloud. She watched as Leia gingerly placed it on the bed, smoothing the fabric out with her fingers. In that moment, Leia Organa was not only a past Senator defending the rights of individual systems or a mighty general who was responsible for historical blows against the First Order. In that moment, she was a mother. Attentive, gentle, and caring of detail while readying someone for bed. Before she could stop herself, Rey briefly wondered if something similar was ever a part of her and her son's routine when he was a young child.
Ben. Could he even go by that name anymore?
"There." Leia stood back and placed her hands on her hips, proud of her work. "Now, I expect you to rest some before you join us for dinner. I'm very familiar with the food we have preserved downstairs." Her eyes twinkled mischievously, so much so that Rey in that moment could have sworn she had briefly seen a young princess. "And wine."
"Thank you, General Or-" Leia shot a disapproving look. Rey swiftly corrected herself. "Leia. You've been too kind, really."
"Now, get some rest. We all deserve that this evening, at least." Rey watched Leia's retreating figure. She bit her lip. She knew she should get some sleep, but this question would gnaw at her mind and there would be no rest until she asked.
"Leia!" She stopped with her hand on the doorframe. Rey swallowed. It was now or never. "What you said about Dar-uh, your father…" Leia turned gracefully on her walking stick to face a stammering Rey. "Do you think it's possible? For someone that far gone to come back to the light?"
Leia gave a sad smile and Rey felt her face flush with shame. Of course she would have made the connection, why else would Rey be asking. Rey wondered if Leia could hear the desperation in her voice, the hope that dangled on each word. Against her better judgment, Rey was not ready to give up. Not yet.
"One of the last things my brother said to me," Leia gripped her walking stick unconsciously with both hands. "-is that no one is truly gone. But I believe candles can't light the darkness in someone if they're suffocated themselves." She held Rey's eyes intently. "I can't lose anyone else."
Rey idled at the foot of the bed, the words and their potential of their meaning hanging heavily around the pair. "Goodnight, Rey". The door closed.
Rey was in and out of the connecting private fresher, and within minutes, was pulling the soft white nightgown over her head. It left her arms bare but almost touched her ankles in length. The soft fabric felt strange against her skin.
She slipped into the bed and although the sheets were soft and inviting, a part of her preferred to be on board the Falcon, amongst the smells of grease and the comforting sounds of a snoring Wookie nearby. She did not cling to that thought for long because in moments, despite initial protest, sleep took over. The waves lightly rolled onto the shore outside her window, echoing dreams and nightmares that had caused Rey restlessness for so many years.
But, for first time in some time, she slept soundly. There were no dreams.
A/N: Oh, thank goodness for replacing chapters. I had some typos that were not sitting well with me. Feedback and comments are both welcome and appreciated! Let me know what you like.